Second Down (Moving the Chains Book 2) (3 page)

Chapter 2

I Don’t Want to Be Here Anymore

Rob

Sunlight streams through the window at the end of the hospital wing. I blink my eyes against the afternoon brightness, then concentrate on the colorless linoleum beneath my feet as mom practically drags me toward our destination.

I don’t want to be here; I shouldn’t be here.

We’re met just outside Evie’s room by Diana, who wraps her arms around both of us. Mom returns her hug warmly, but I just stiffen up and stand still. How can she even touch me after what I let happen to her daughter?

When she releases us, the look on her face is impossible to read. “There’s some things you need to know before you go in.”

Mom glances over at me, probably making sure I won’t bolt back down the hallway or throw up on the floor. She knows damn well I don’t want to be here. She also knows puking has become my new normal. I lost track of how many times I worshipped the porcelain god since I woke up this morning.

The sound of Evie’s soft laughter floats to my ears from inside the room. I vaguely register Mom calling me, but I’m too far gone.

I’m drawn in the door like a moth to the flame. The crushing guilt, overwhelming sadness, and defensive numbness is replaced instantly by the greatest joy I’ve ever experienced at hearing what closely resembles my favorite song.

For too long yesterday, I thought I might never hear it again.

She’s sitting up in the bed. Her face still bears the marks of his hands on her, but both of her eyes are open and sparkling like my car after a fresh wash and wax. A smile is painted across her lips. The same lips I kissed less than twenty-four hours ago.

My first instinct is to go to her, feel her lips on mine again, tangle my fingers in her crazy hair. I want to beg for her mercy, though I’ll never ask for her forgiveness. Want to cocoon her against me like the night of the bonfire; promise I’ll spend the rest of my life cherishing her and trying my damndest to make up for my failures. And if she can’t get past my transgressions, still swear that I’ll always be here for her in whatever capacity she needs me until the day I die.

Her eyes land on me slowly approaching. She looks immediately uncomfortable which I expect after all that’s happened. I knew last night that everyone touching her was a bad idea.

She recovers quickly, trying to hide her slight moment of panic at seeing me. Instead, she gives me a halting smile. “Superjock!”

Mike turns around, and our eyes meet. I hadn’t even noticed him sitting in a chair beside her bed.

“Hey, Rob.”

“What are you doing here?” Accusation laces my voice. I can’t help it. I don’t want
any
guys around her ever again. Friends or not.

His frame is relaxed, his tone calmer than I feel. “Evie called me this morning and asked me to come.”

That’s it. That’s all he gives me. The fact that she called him and not me only reinforces what I already know. She doesn’t want me anymore. She doesn’t need me for comfort. Taking care of her is Mike’s job once again.

Evie adjusts herself a bit in the bed. It’s obvious that every little movement causes her pain. “Wow, you really take being Bio partners seriously. I didn’t expect to see you here.”  

The cheek that isn’t covered in bruises flushes pink, and she casts her eyes down to the bed, pulling the blanket up higher in an effort to cover her thin hospital gown.

She’s obviously embarrassed for me to see her like this.

Everything in me screams for me to walk back out the way I came. But my muscles are giving out, so I sit in the chair next to Mike. He shakes his head ever so slightly, but whatever he’s trying to tell me doesn’t cut through the sense of failure that permeates every bone in my body.

“How, uh, how’s your ankle? Looks like you’re walking okay.”  

What did she just ask me?

“Evie,” Mike starts gently. “Remember what we told you? That was three days ago. Rob’s ankle is fine.”

Three days ago...what the honest fuck?

Christina comes up beside me, resting her small hand on my shoulder. “Evie has amnesia. The doctors think it’s from her concussion and...what happened. She doesn’t remember any of it or the days leading up to it.”

“Yeah, I must’ve been hit by a semi or something. No one will tell me if my car is totaled or not.” Evie flashes a rueful smile at the three of us.

Mike and Tini exchange nervous glances.

That’s when it dawns on me.

No one has told her yet about what really happened.

Evie fiddles with her blanket, the same nervous habit she usually reserves for the corners of her notebooks. “Sorry. I know it’s weird. The doctor said that the longer I go without remembering, the less likely it is that I’ll ever get those days back. So...catch me up? Mike and Tini are being all cryptic.”

All I can do is gape around me in total confusion. My mouth opens and closes several times, but no sound escapes. What am I supposed to say?

You were my girl. Now you’re not.

“Did, uh, did you ever make it to the diner to put your other play in action?” Evie whispers.

Mike and Tini look at her and then at me with no clue what she’s asking me.

My heart pounds erratically. I think I’m actually having a heart attackif the chest pain is anything to go by
.
I can’t catch my breath. If Evie doesn’t know anything, I have to get out of this room before I do or say something that’ll give me away. “Uh, no. That’s over with. It’s finished.”

Tears prick the backs of my eyes. Even though I try to hold back, I scramble out of my chair and rush out of the room before I lose it. Or before she notices my mangled hands.

What’s worse? Evie not knowing I’m the one who failed her, or Evie not knowing what we meant to each other before all hell broke loose?

I’m met outside the door by two pairs of sympathetic eyes.

“I tried to tell you, sweetie. I’m so sorry.” Diana puts a hand on my shoulder, her blue eyes that look so much like Evie’s full of tears.

Why is she sorry? Does she know what happened between her daughter and me? Does she know her daughter gave me her fragile heart and warned me to be careful with it? Does she know that her daughter wrapped her hands around my neck, pulled me down to her soft lips? Does she know her daughter was my living dream and now that dream is just…gone?

This must be what it feels like to have asthma. Since yesterday when I recognized that what I was seeing wasn’t a display of exhibitionism a hundred yards or so ahead of me on the trail, I haven’t been able to breathe. I lean back against the wall as the flashback hits me and steals what little breath I have left.

My ankle protests the uneven terrain beneath me, but the only thing that pulses through my body with each footfall against the trail is her name. Evie, Evie, Evie. Her essence fills my veins, pushing me on through my exhaustion. My fingers tingle as my feet pound the dirt. Any minute now they’ll be buried in her hair again. The empty trail ahead of me goes on for miles. Birds call in the canopy above, leaves rustle in the light breeze. They all seem to whisper “Evie” along with my heartbeat. In my mind, her voice and her words play on repeat. “I’ve never been able to get over you…My boyfriend…You’re mine…I can’t run without my music.”

Her taste is still on my tongue. My mouth waters for more. Around another bend, down the first steep hill, sharp curve to the left. Every inch of this trail is memorized after so many runs, just hoping to catch a glimpse of her and find something, anything to say.

Today will be different. Today she’ll be happy to see me. She’ll throw her arms around me, and our sweat will mix together as our tongues tangle. The path stretches straight ahead again, and my feet grind to a halt at the sight ahead of me.

Some asshole is taking his girl right off the side of the trail, out in plain view of any other runners. The way his bare ass thrusts so hard is like live porn. She can’t possibly be enjoying that much heavy action with the hard ground beneath her. But hey, if Alex’s stories are anything to go by, some girls like it rough.

Evie will completely freak out if she sees this though. There’s gotta be some way around them without missing her if she comes running up this way. My eyes roam back to the couple getting it on in the weeds about a hundred yards away.

This experience is going to last a whole lot longer than an orgasm if they’re rolling around in poison ivy. It’s on the tip of my tongue to warn them, but they’re too far away for me to make out much detail. Neither of them look familiar. The dude might not appreciate me interrupting his fun even if it is with good intentions. He’s on top with his back to me, still pounding away. She’s beneath him, so I can’t see much of her at all.

Her thrashing movements don’t make it seem like she’s just uncomfortable with the location. It looks like she’s trying to fight him off…

“Rob. Rob, did you hear me?” Mom gives my shoulder a little shake, snapping me back to the present.

I gulp in a deep breath. It’s still not enough air.

Diana stands directly in front of me, looking nervous, worried, and exhausted. “Rob, I’d like you to be in the room when we tell Evie what happened. I heard her tell you she thinks she was in a car accident. The neurologist told us it was safe to tell her what really occurred even if she doesn’t remember it. The rape counselor said they’d send someone to be in the room to help her deal with the news. They’ve already advised us on the best way to tell her the truth. We’re supposed to keep it simple. We all think it would be a good idea if you were there since you found her. You know most of what happened. She may have questions and need reassurance of the facts.”

“No.”

“No?” Diana looks heartbroken at my answer.

“I won’t do it. I’ll never tell her any of it even if she begs. I don’t want her to know. I’m glad she doesn’t remember.”

“She cried in her sleep when you left last night. She called for you several times too. She might not remember anything from the past three days, but you seem to bring her some comfort. Please? I know it’s hard for you, but she needs you now.”  

Mom rubs my back. “Honey, if she has questions, you’re the only one who can give her answers. She deserves to know.”

They’re double teaming me, expecting me to cave.

“She didn’t deserve any of what happened to her,” I hiss at my mom. Looking at Diana’s confused stare, I have to make her understand that it would not, in fact, be a good idea for me to see Evie ever again. “And she doesn’t need me. I couldn’t even protect her! Look at what that bastard did to her! Have you even seen what’s under that hospital gown? Because I have! I saw him do it! I can’t be in there when you tell her how I just let it happen. It’ll only upset her more if the guy who let her be violated like that is standing right there while you tell her why she doesn’t remember the last three days of her life. I won’t do that to her. No.”  

Our moms exchange glances. I don’t know how else to explain it to them, so they better not ask.

I can tell by the look in her eyes that Diana isn’t giving up. It’s the same determined expression that her daughter sometimes gets. “This wasn’t your fault any more than it was Evie’s. And you didn’t deserve to watch him do that to your girlfriend, just like she didn’t deserve what happened to her.”

Ah, so she does know.

YiaYia and Papou approach us on their way into the room, accompanied by a woman who must be the rape counselor. She gives us the once over, probably figuring me for the asshole that caused all of this. She’s a professional. She isn’t attached to this situation by emotion. She can pass unbiased, third party judgment.

“Diana, Patty.” She nods her head to the women cornering me, already seeming to know them which blows my already blown mind. “And you must be Rob.”  

She extends a hand to me. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Cathy.”

I look down at her hand in absolute disgust. Is she for real right now? Instead of the handshake that she’s requesting, I cross my arms over my chest. “No offense, lady, but there’s absolutely nothing nice about meeting you.”

“Robert! Don’t be rude. She’s here to help.” Even when Mom’s yelling at me, she can’t pull it off without sounding worried. “He doesn’t want to be in the room when we tell Evie what happened. He thinks it will only upset her for him to be there because he feels responsible for her assault. He’s experiencing a lot of guilt.”

The counselor lowers her hand. “That’s okay. Feeling guilty is a very normal reaction. Like we tell the victims, I’m going to tell you: it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known what was going to happen. You’re in a pretty rare circumstance to have even been able to prevent Eva from being penetrated. You’re also an unusual case because most significant others don’t witness their partner being assaulted. In a way, you’re as much of a victim as Eva. Whatever emotions you are feeling right now are valid and completely normal reactions to experiencing a trauma of this nature.”

Hold the phone. Penetrated? Significant other? Partner? What the hell does this lady know about anything?

Mom pats my arm. “I work with Cathy here at the hospital. Diana and I conferenced with her this morning to give her background on the situation. Not only are you in a rare position, but so is Eva because she doesn’t remember what happened.”