Second Time Around (13 page)

Not only that, but being around the hospital so much was obviously bothering his mother, as well. After failing to convince her he'd be okay, and that she could go on home, they finally reached a compromise. She'd keep her hospital visits short. She and Alex would stay at his house. She could stay to take care of him for a few days after he was released from the hospital.

He had to get home before she gave his bachelor pad a whole new look—one with those feminine touches that would remind him of all that was missing in his life.

Alex made regular visits early in the morning and later in the evening. What he was doing with the rest of his time, Kevin wasn't sure. In fact, he wasn't sure why Alex was still here at all. When asked, his brother mumbled something about getting too old to be jumping into flames and looking for a new job.

It was good to see him, without the past acting as a barrier.

The alarm on the IV went off, indicating the fluid was getting low. It was also a not-so-subtle reminder that he had to convince the doctor he was well enough to go home.

Emily's visits were the highlight of his day. Being on the staff, she was the only one not kicked out when visiting hours were over—the only thing that kept him from losing his mind in here. How Emily stayed so cheerful around all this pain was beyond him.

Kevin could still see the fear in her eyes when she told his mother and Alex details about the accident. She ended by telling him over and over again that he'd “better never, ever scare her like that again.”

He saw the love in her every action. And it scared the daylights out of him. If anything, the accident had proven to him that no matter how much control he thought he had, in the flash of an eye, it could be taken away.

How can I do this to her?
He'd seen what his father's death had done to his mother. She still couldn't handle being in a hospital. He couldn't do that to Emily.

“Pride goeth before a fall,” his father used to tell him. What a time for him to think of his dad—while lying in the hospital.

He thought of him and Alex running the family business in his father's absence—

It hit him like a ton of bricks.

Alex.

That's what he's been doing all day. I've got to get out of here, get back to work before Alex shuts down my company, too.

Kevin sat up in bed and swung his bare legs over the side, trying to figure out how he was going to get to the construction site.

Alex probably has my truck, too.

“Morning, Kevin. How are you feeling?”

Dr. Roberts had rotten timing.

“Well enough to get out of here.”

The doctor laughed. “Let's take one more look and see what your file says before you check yourself out of here.” He looked at the chart and set it aside. “No more headaches, dizziness…”

“None,” Kevin snapped.

The list of questions went on and on, adding to Kevin's irritation. “Dr. Roberts, I really need to get back to work.”

He thought of his mother. Emily. Alex.

None of them had given him a clue as to what was happening in the outside world. “I have people to see. I don't have time to sit around here doing nothing.”

“Now, now, Mr. MacIntyre. Let me review a few things with you.”

Before Kevin knew it, he'd been sidelined for a indeterminate length of time.

In the back of his mind he heard the doctor mention seeing him in three to four days for a checkup without saying exactly how long he would have to stay away from work.

No lifting, no physical exertion, nothing.

The old codger winked. “I'd hate to have to pull the clinic contract in order to make sure you take care of yourself. Don't worry, your brother has everything running smoothly.”

Kevin snapped inside, but somehow managed to remain calm on the outside. “My brother may have come to help, but I still run the project. With all due respect, I can't afford to stay off clinic property for another day.”

Dr. Roberts chuckled. “Fine, but I'd better not see
you lifting even a hammer, Kevin. First it's a hammer, then the saw, then a plate-glass window. Don't push your luck. I'm serious.”

Kevin laughed. Weren't all doctors always serious?
Must be an occupational hazard.

Kevin couldn't believe that Alex filling in hadn't crossed his mind earlier. Kevin hoped he didn't look half as foolish as he felt. His brother wasn't just looking for any job; Alex was taking
Kevin's
job.

“When can I go home, Dr. Roberts?”

“I'll sign the release—shouldn't take too long. Why don't you get dressed and call a ride to get you out of here.”

Kevin held out his hand. “Thanks, Doc. See you in a few days.”

The doctor gripped Kevin's hand firmly and smiled. “Someone upstairs gave you a second chance. Don't take that for granted.”

Nodding, he waited for the physician to finish signing the papers.

Kevin knew better than to look for his clothes—all he would find were empty closets. He'd searched for a way out yesterday, hoping Emily had put them away while he wasn't looking.

Now, not only did he need to call home for a ride, but he had to wait for his clothes to arrive, as well. When he called the house, no one was home.

He called Emily. In the background he heard pounding and sawing. “Emily, my brother is doing my job, isn't he?”

The silence lengthened, and he heard Emily close her door to the noises that were as comforting to him as a worn-out sweatshirt. “This is no time to let your stubborn pride stand in the way, Kevin.”

“I want a straight answer, Emily.”

“I don't know where he is right now, but yes, Kevin, Alex is making sure things continue to run smoothly with your project.”

“You couldn't have told me two days ago?” he said, and failed to keep the anger from his voice.

Emily's words were tart with professionalism. “Two days ago, you were so out of it you wouldn't have understood what I was saying if I
had
told you. I thought you'd appreciate your brother's help. He's making sure the work is getting done.”

“You just had to take over, didn't you?” The minute he said the words, he was sorry.

“It won't happen again.”

“I'm sorry, Emily—” She'd already hung up.

Kevin closed his eyes.
Great way to make amends, Kevin.
He wove his fingers together behind his neck and lay back on the bed.
I think it's time we have a talk, God.

 

An hour later his brother walked into the hospital room, carrying a change of clothes and the keys to Kevin's truck. “I understand you're not terribly happy with me.”

Alex always did know how to make an entrance.

“If you wanted a job, you could have asked.”

Alex nodded slightly, not looking at all remorseful or worried. “A lot less headache this way. When that old codger gives you your life back, I'll be tossed aside like a dirty shirt, and you know it.”

Kevin didn't know how to deny it. Though he had forgiven his family for the decision they'd made years ago, he wasn't sure it was good business to
bring “family” into the picture again. “It isn't that I—”

Alex dropped into the chair across from the table and crossed one ankle over his opposite knee. “I want to help, to tell you I'm sorry. To let you know how proud I am of you and what you're doing. You're not too proud to accept that, are you?”

He struggled with his stubborn pride, afraid of making matters with his brother worse. It wasn't that he didn't want Alex here. Admittedly, he wasn't up to speed yet, and he would have been scrambling to run the job from afar. But he was in no position to offer his brother what a foreman should earn—even temporarily.

Kevin took a deep breath and repeated the verse silently: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

“Thanks. I'll admit, I'm not at all happy with having to sit the bench on this, but if there's anyone I trust to do it right, it's you. About the pay—”

“Don't worry about it.” A look of trepidation crossed Alex's face.

Kevin knew the spring thunderstorms made this the busiest season for smokejumpers, and Alex's presence here was costing him plenty. “I plan to worry about it. And I plan to pay you.”

“You don't need to, okay?”

He looked suspiciously at his brother. “You dropped your job, flew down here on the spur of the moment—which couldn't have been cheap—and you don't want to be paid? What's going on, Alex?”

Kevin heard dainty footsteps enter the room.

“I paid him already, and before you start yelling,
I asked him not to say anything,” Emily's soft voice explained. “I wanted to help.”

He turned toward her. It was bad enough that he was incapacitated physically and facing his ex-fiancée who'd already saved his life once, but to have her taking care of his business obligations was totally out of the question, and he didn't hesitate to tell her so.

She looked at his hospital gown and back at his face. “So, let me get this straight. It would have been okay for your parents to pay for me to go to medical school, yet I can't help you out?”

“This isn't at all the same situation, Doc. We aren't—” He stopped short of saying they weren't committed to one another the way they had been then. “I pay my own employees.”

She looked as if he'd just punched her, and an unwelcome tension stretched between them.

“I see.” Emily's eyes revealed her mounting anger. “Consider it an investment, Kevin. The sooner you finish the job, the sooner we can both move on with our lives.”

Emily whirled around and walked out of the room.

Kevin tripped over the hospital tray and headed after her, the tails of his gown flapping as he ran down the hall. She ran into the elevator, and the door closed before he could stop her.

Kevin hit the button and pounded his fist against the stainless-steel door.

“Ah, Kevin?”

“What?” he growled. What could his brother have to say
now?

Alex stepped behind him, tugged the back of
Kevin's gown together and whispered, “You're putting on quite a show, little brother.”

Kevin turned and waved to the wide-eyed audience, furious that his brother and the hospital staff had seen him chasing after a woman—especially Dr. Emily Berthoff. “I can't wait to get out of here,” he muttered.

E
mily leaned against the wall of the elevator and closed her eyes.
You are so stubborn, Kevin!
She ran her fingers through her hair, pulling the bulk of it into a clip.

She had been fool enough to think there was a chance she could actually become whole again. That Kevin would wake up, anxious to tell her directly what he'd told Pastor Mike while in his stupor from painkillers—that he loved her.

Mike had come to visit as soon as he heard about Kevin's accident, both to pray for Kevin and to offer Emily support. They had both stayed with Kevin for most of the day. Emily was grateful that Mike had a wonderful sense of humor and already knew how Emily felt about Kevin, or it could have been quite an eye-opener when Kevin warned the pastor not to get any ideas about her. The warning had been followed by an emotionally garbled, “I love her.”

It had been two days since Kevin's babbles had given her hope, only to have him dash them again in
his alert, clear-minded stubbornness.

I've waited eight years to find this kind of love again, God. Why can't Kevin give us another chance?

Her pager beeped, and she pressed the button to silence it, seeing the code from the maternity ward.
Mrs. Apple's labor pains must be getting closer.
Emily took a deep breath and pushed the elevator button to return to the third floor.

A few hours later, Emily finally made it home with a bag of French fries and a burger. Katarina was home from her business trip and met her at the door.

“I thought you had the evening off.”

“I filled in for Bob.”

Katarina scolded her with a tip of her head. “That's the third time in the month that I've been here! Doesn't the man realize you have a life?”

“I do?” Emily said sarcastically. She moved into the living room and dropped onto the sofa. The picture of a rainbow that Ricky had drawn for her sent her back to the weekend—before Kevin's accident. Had it only been four days since she'd learned of Gretchen and Jack's request?

“What is bothering you? You haven't looked this sick since you caught the flu from Stanley What's-his-name right before Homecoming.”

“Nothing's wrong with me,” she said, then filled her mouth with an oversize bite of hamburger.

Katarina made a show of checking Emily's forehead for a fever. “Something
must
be wrong if you stopped at a fast-food place for dinner.”

Emily forced a smile. “I'll be okay. How was your trip? I want to hear all about it.” There was nothing Katarina could do to alleviate her concerns. Only Kevin could do that. And it didn't appear he was
inclined to do so anytime soon. “Did you get any contracts?”

“Oh, no, no, no. Don't you change the subject.” Katarina dropped into the seat next to her, pulled Emily's shoes from her feet and began massaging. “Come on, sis, spill it.”

Emily collapsed against the back of the sofa and let herself relax as her sister worked the aches from her feet.
Maybe it would help just having someone to share my worries with.
“You wouldn't believe the week I've had.”

She told Katarina about the turn her weekend with Ricky's grandparents had taken, and about Kevin's accident.

“You're serious. I mean, Kevin almost died?”

She tipped her head to the side in disbelief. “I'm a doctor, Kat. I don't joke about things like that.”

“But he's fine now? He's thrilled to have another chance to make you blissfully happy? To be the father of your children, and Ricky?”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Where do you store all that optimism?” Her sister kneaded a knot from Emily's left arch, and Emily jerked the foot away, only to have it snatched back. “No, Kat, in fact, he's furious with me for trying to help. I can't believe I ever let myself hope it could all work out.”

“Give him time.”

“I don't have that luxury. Ricky doesn't, either.” Emily felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. “After today, I just keep thinking how wrong I am to even consider adopting him. What would I do if I had to respond to an emergency?”

“Child care. A nanny. For now, I can certainly help watch him. There are a lot of single parents,
Emily. It's not like when Mom was trying to raise us.”

“Look at my hours,” Emily argued. “It's ten o'clock, and I'm just eating dinner. I couldn't do that to a little boy.”

Katarina's eyebrows arched in an I-told-you-so expression. “You'd get used to cutting the day shorter. You wouldn't take others' calls quite so readily. You would have time for yourself, which, quite honestly, would be good for you. And becoming a mother would be a wonderful excuse that no one would argue with.”

Emily looked at her sister longingly. She wished she had even one-fourth the enthusiasm her sister did. “Mother should have named you Pollyanna. How do you even make decisions? You can't possibly look at both sides of a problem.”

“Usually the negative is already in front of me. That leaves me to focus on the positive. Which is what I want you to do. Think of three reasons why you
should
adopt Ricky. You obviously feel something more for him than for your typical patient, or you'd already have said no.”

Emily thought of the adorable little boy. That was the easy part. But a child's adorableness was no reason to adopt. She needed a better motive.

He needed love.

He is so lovable.
Yes, she could easily love Ricky.
I could love a dog, too, but I don't have one.

“Ricky will have a lot of emotions to deal with.”

Kat tickled the bottom of Emily's toes, and Emily felt her body relax.

“Turning that one around to fulfill the requirements, Doctor, you would need to add ‘And who
better to help him than me?' After all, you do have the training.”

Emily frowned. “I'm not a psychiatrist.”

“Never stopped you from giving advice before. Now, think of a positive reason.”

Pulling her pampered feet from her sister's lap, Emily sat up. “Don't you have something else to do?”

Katarina rubbed her hands along her blue jeans and crossed them in front of her. “Nothing. Get busy thinking. Come on, think positive.”

After trying to sort out her feelings, Emily finally came up with one she really wasn't sure should qualify. “I want a family?”

Katarina smiled. “Good.”

“But I have such a demanding career, horrible hours. And what would I ever do about being on call?”

Her sister's animated groan almost made Emily laugh. “Oh, no, and I thought you were actually going to come up with one.”

Katarina looked at Emily as if she were some forlorn old maid whose days were numbered. “Your career is your life because you let it be. You knew you wanted a family when you decided to become a doctor. You knew there would come a time when you would eagerly make time for a husband and children.”

“Which is another point. I'm single.”

Katarina sighed. “Having two parents doesn't guarantee happiness
or
a good family life. You have so much to offer a child, Emily. Besides, what happens if you never meet Mr. Right?”

How could Katarina even think such a thing? In
the back of her mind, Emily thought of Kevin. She recalled the way he had looked in a suit, romping on the floor with Jacob and Laura's children.

He denied wanting children, even though he was wonderful with them and at one time wanted a houseful. She and Kevin were just now beginning to work things out, and adding a child would throw a definite wrench into the works. She hoped that one day Kevin would change his mind and realize what he was missing.
Surely he'll change his mind.

“I could lose Kevin if I choose to adopt Ricky.”

“That's not at all positive, Emily! You're thinking of this all wrong. I hate to break my own rule, but I will, for Ricky's sake.” Her voice lowered. “If Kevin leaves because you have a child, it was never meant to be in the first place, and Ricky would save you another huge mistake. You wouldn't truly be happy, even with Kevin, if you sacrificed a family for marriage.”

The gaze in her sister's eyes was sympathetic, silently sharing the misery of the truth.

“I think you missed your calling, Kat. I think you should be the psychiatrist.”

Her sister pushed herself to her feet and shrugged. “Not me! That's way too serious. By the way, Kevin called while you were at the hospital. He asked you to return the call when you got home.”

Emily tried to tame the glimmer of hope before it consumed her again. She watched her sister head toward the stairs. “Oh, Kat. Don't mention Ricky to anyone, please. I need some time to make a decision.”

“As long as you need me, Em, I'm here. Remember that.”

Emily smiled. She knew she could count on her sister.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I believe You, God, but I can't do it alone. Help me make the best decision for Ricky.

She called Kevin, prepared for the worst yet hoping for the best. Emily took a deep breath. She hadn't meant to interfere with his business. She'd wanted to help. To show him that he was important to her. They had both been through so much recently, it was no wonder tempers were flaring.

Kevin answered immediately. “Emily, I'm so sorry I yelled at you. I'm not handling any of this well. It hit me so unexpectedly. I appreciate your help, and—I'll pay you back, if you want to consider it…”

She couldn't answer.

“Are you there?”

“Uh-huh. I don't consider it a loan, so we don't need to bring it up again. I gave it because I wanted to, and I would really like it if you'd simply learn to accept help graciously.”

The deep timbre of Kevin's voice faded to a low whisper. “Thank you.”

Emotion caught in her throat. Relief wasn't far behind. She took a drink of water and tried to compose herself.

“I didn't mean to make you cry.” He paused. “You're supposed to save those for when I'm there to dry them, don't you know?”

Emily laughed at his unexpected advice. “I didn't know you were so fond of tears. Been breaking a lot of hearts, have you?”

“Only one that matters.”

She couldn't speak. Her heart beat faster. The tears started again. It had been so long since she'd let herself care for anyone. Emily decided God had other plans for her life, after all. “I'd better go, Kevin. I'm sorry.”

“It's okay, Emmy. I hate to admit it, but I am tired. Looks like I'm going to have some free time tomorrow, if you can get away for lunch or something.”

“I have the day off. Why don't you let me fix you and your mother lunch.”

“That sounds great. We'll see you then. Sweet dreams, Doc.”

“You, too.” Emily went to bed, hope blanketing her in warmth. Her thoughts drifted to Ricky, and she wondered how he was doing. She was ashamed to realize she hadn't called him once since Kevin's accident. She jotted a note, reminding herself to call him first thing in the morning on the pad next to her phone.

Emily pulled her Bible from the shelf and opened her study guide for the first time in a week. It seemed a lifetime ago. She read the lesson from the day of Kevin's accident, and paused. “‘I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you,'” she read in a whisper, then read it again.

 

Emily called Ricky first thing the next morning and visited. He sounded happy and seemed to be enjoying his “visit,” as he called it. She was relieved. When his grandparents got on, she explained why she hadn't called sooner. His grandparents sent him next door then, and bragged about about how well Ricky was adjusting to his parents' death.

“We can thank Laura for that. She's had a lot of experience answering little ones' questions about death.” Emily sipped her orange juice and jotted down a few more things to pick up at the grocery store.

George suggested Emily plan for Ricky to come spend a couple of weeks with her. They were enjoying their grandson, but were wearing out already. Emily looked at her calendar, and promised to come pick him up in a week and a half.

“Have you made any decision yet, Emily?”

She sighed. “No. I adore Ricky, but I'm just not sure I am the best person for the job. I look at this week and wonder how a child would have fit into that.”

“I'm sure it's very difficult for you, and we don't want to pressure you. Really we don't—” George's voice broke. “If you don't think you can take him, we really need to start looking for the right family. He's been through so many changes already. I want him to get settled soon. Harriet's not doing well.”

Emily rubbed her forehead. “I understand.” After asking about Harriet's health, she added, “I'll be in touch soon, George.” Emily hung up and immediately thought of the verse in her study last night.

As soon as she composed herself again, Emily went to the store and picked up steak and vegetables to make fajitas. After slicing the meat, she put it in the bowl with the marinade, then cut up the peppers, onion and tomatoes and set them in the refrigerator, her mind still on the conversation with George.

She tossed a salad, annoyed by the steady drip of water from the faucet. While setting the table, Emily turned on the stereo, hoping the music would drown
out the noise. The rhythms were out of synchronization, and it only made matters worse. “How long has this faucet been dripping, Kat?”

“A few days, I guess. I meant to call a plumber before my trip, but didn't get around to it.”

“Probably needs a washer tightened or something. It'll take forever for a repairman to get here. That's going to drive me insane with company here.” Emily went to the drawer, pulled out the pliers and tried to tighten a nut that went around the base of the faucet. The drip got worse. “Oh, come on. Don't do this now.”