Second Time Around (38 page)

He swept her up in a hug and she rested her head on his chest, revelling in the feel of his strong arms around her.

‘Can you two put that on hold until I’ve gone?’ Noel complained from the top of the stairs.

Jess reluctantly pulled back and smiled. Cal took her hand in his and they went up to join her brother.

While Jess made coffee, Noel sat drumming his fingers on the table, complaining about how unreasonable their mother was being.

‘It’s not easy for her, Noel,’ she said when he stopped to draw breath. ‘Her memory seems to be coming back in bits and pieces and I think she’s confused and
scared. I’m sure the circumstances surrounding Dad’s death are in there. Think about it. It’s like she’s reliving it all. That has to be so painful.’

‘I suppose,’ he said, looking shamefaced. ‘Anyway, why did you call me? You sounded upset.’

Jess handed him and Cal mugs before taking her own between her hands. Should she tell him her mum’s secret? She didn’t see any real harm in it. It might be a shock but it
didn’t really affect him or Sharon. Jess took a deep breath. ‘Not upset. In shock, I suppose. I’ve had some suspicions for a while and Mum just confirmed them. John Connors
wasn’t my father.’

Noel grinned and then stared at her, his eyes widening as he saw that she was serious. ‘What?’

‘Mum was a single mother when she met your dad.’

‘But why didn’t they tell you, tell us?’ Noel asked, still looking dumbfounded.

‘I don’t know. She got upset when I started asking questions and Doug suggested I leave it.’

Noel frowned. ‘Doug?’

‘Ah, yes, that’s another thing. Douglas, her so-called boyfriend, Mandy’s boss?’ She smiled, remembering the man’s astonished expression when she asked if he was
her dad. ‘It turns out he was Mum’s boss too before she was married. He gave her a job, despite her being pregnant. Granddad threw her out when he found out she was pregnant and Doug
took her in. That’s why they’re so close.’

Noel looked immediately suspicious. ‘What did he get in return?’

Jess looked at him in disgust. ‘It was nothing like that and, no, he’s not my dad. I thought it might be him because I found a photo album with my baby pictures and he was in most of
them.’

‘So who
is
your father?’ Cal asked. It was the first time he’d spoken, but he’d been watching her intently as she talked.

She sighed. ‘No idea. All Mum’s told me so far is that I look like him but she doesn’t even remember his name. It was a one-night stand.’

‘So you’re only my half-sister?’ Noel looked a little forlorn.

She put an arm round his shoulders. ‘What difference does it make? Mum is still our mum and I’m your big sister and will continue to kick your butt when you do stupid stuff. Why on
earth didn’t you tell me that you wanted to be a farmer?’

Noel shook his head and sighed. ‘At first I wanted time to think about it, to make sure I was making the right decision. Then I needed to talk to the college to see what my options were.
The plan was to finish the engineering course and then take a postgraduate in agricultural science. I was just about ready to tell Mum when she had the accident.’

He raised sad eyes to meet hers. ‘That knocked me for six and I couldn’t concentrate on anything, let alone engineering so I dropped out. When Mum came home, I couldn’t leave
her. I told Maurice that we’d have to delay our plans until she was back on her feet.’ He sighed. ‘Then Sharon got sick and we had to take care of Bobby and I certainly
couldn’t leave then.

‘Meanwhile, I’m feeling seriously guilty about letting Maurice down. It looks as if he needs an operation but he won’t agree to it because there’s no one to look after
the farm.’

‘Oh, Noel.’ Jess looked at him, distraught at all he’d shouldered alone. ‘Why didn’t you talk to me?’

‘Or me,’ Cal said, looking disgusted. ‘I thought we were mates.’

‘There was too much going on and, be honest, you and Sharon would have been furious with me if I’d told Mum my plans.’

Jess was silent. She couldn’t argue with that.

‘You still could have talked to me,’ Cal insisted.

‘It doesn’t matter now, does it? She knows and she’s furious, just as I knew she would be. She even slapped me.’

‘She didn’t!’ Jess said, astounded.

Noel sighed. ‘When she was gone for so long I was really afraid I’d sent her over the edge.’

‘Well you didn’t. You know how Mum overreacts these days, but she’s tougher than she looks.’ If only he knew how much their mother had already been through. Jess thought
of John’s philandering ways. But she wasn’t going to tell him about that and she doubted her mother would, either. She put a comforting hand on Noel’s arm. ‘She’ll get
used to the idea,’ she said with more conviction than she felt. Mum’s memory returning was bound to throw up more details that they were all blissfully unaware of.

Jess thought of the various accounts she’d read of other brain-injury sufferers regaining their memory, and knew that there could be a bumpy ride ahead of them. But they’d come this
far, they’d get through the rest.

She glanced at her brother who still looked miserable. ‘Cheer up, bro. If you want to be a farmer, then that’s what you’re going to be.’ She met Cal’s eyes and
mouthed, ‘Help.’

‘Jess is right, Noel,’ Cal agreed. ‘You may have to postpone it, but that’s all.’

‘Surely Maurice could get a farm manager in the meantime,’ Jess said.

‘He could, but he doesn’t trust anyone who isn’t family.’

‘He’s a grown man, Noel,’ Cal told him. ‘It’s up to him to make some sort of arrangement until you’re free to take over.’

‘Does Mum know Maurice is sick?’

‘She doesn’t know how serious it is but, let’s face it, she wouldn’t care anyway. She can’t stand the man.’

‘I still think you should fill her in,’ Jess said.

‘Should I go home and talk to Mum now?’ Noel asked, uncertainly.

Jess thought of how bemused and anxious her mum had been when she left. ‘Leave it for tonight. She’s upset enough after our chat, and Doug’s there, looking after
her.’

‘Pick a moment when she’s relaxed,’ Cal advised, ‘or wait until she raises the subject.’

Jess groaned. ‘Er, don’t you think there’s something else we’re forgetting?’

‘What?’ Noel looked at Jess.

‘Shouldn’t we bring Sharon up to speed on everything?’

‘That might be an idea,’ Cal agreed.

Noel gave a grim smile. ‘No time like the present.’

‘This is like something out of a soap’ was Sharon’s incredulous reaction after a long three-way call. ‘Are you okay, Jess?’

‘I’m absolutely fine,’ Jess assured her, warmed by the concern in her voice.

‘Good. Don’t worry about Mum, Noel. This hasn’t been an easy time for her, either, and we have to remember that she’s still in recovery. I’m sure, once she’s
had time to think about it, she’ll give you her blessing. Jess has probably taken the spotlight off you for now.’

Jess exchanged a surprised look with her brother. ‘You sound remarkably chilled, Shaz.’

‘All thanks to Percy,’ Sharon chuckled. ‘Bobby’s been so much more relaxed these last couple of days and he and Mum are closer too.’

When they finished the call, Noel stood up. ‘I’ll head off. I have to see a man about a cow,’ he joked with a sad smile.

‘Maurice?’ Jess asked.

‘Yup.’

‘It will work out, bro. Hang in there.’

Noel hugged her. ‘Thanks, Jess. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight, Cal.’

There was an awkward silence after he’d gone and Jess watched nervously as Cal moved over to sit on the sofa next to her. He took her hand, massaging her wrist with his
thumb.

‘You’ve had quite a day. It must have been a shock finding out that your dad isn’t your dad, so to speak.’

Jess thought about how comforted she felt now that she knew the truth. ‘It may sound cold but I’m glad John isn’t my father. He never treated me the same as Sharon and Noel. He
was always slightly awkward around me, as if going through the motions.’

‘And you turned yourself inside out trying to impress him and win his love,’ Cal guessed.

‘That’s the psychologist talking,’ she teased, ‘but, yes, you’re right. I worked harder at school and took up basketball because he loved it, all in an effort to
win some praise. I’d watch him help Sharon with her reading and fooling round, wrestling with Noel, and wonder what I’d done wrong. Still’ – she smiled, although there was a
lump in her throat – ‘I had Mum.’

‘Oh, Jess. I’m sorry. It was wrong of him. He’d taken you on and adopted you. He should have treated you the same. No wonder you’ve never had a successful
relationship,’ he mused.

She groaned, pushing him away. ‘Oh, please. Don’t tell me that I was searching for a father figure.’

He shrugged. ‘Maybe not a father figure but someone who would approve of you.’ Cal drew her closer again and tipped up her chin so he could look into her eyes. ‘You’re
incredibly beautiful and clever, and yet you seem surprised and almost grateful when a man shows any interest in you.’

‘That’s not true,’ Jess argued, flushing.

‘Isn’t it? I’ve watched you date some right berks over the years. I could never understand what you saw in them, but now it makes sense. You’ve never believed you
deserved better, have you?’

His eyes held hers and Jess swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘That’s ridiculous,’ she whispered, although when she thought about it . . .

‘Not really. You wanted to be loved and, it didn’t matter what lowlife offered it, you took it.’

‘Enough. This isn’t a consultation.’ She tried to push him away again, but Cal held on tight.

‘No, I’d never talk to a patient like this. But I’m not talking to a patient. I’m talking to the girl I’ve been dreaming of holding for years.’

Jess searched his face, usually so guarded, and saw tenderness there and nervousness too. ‘Years?’ she asked, gulping.

‘Years. Occasionally there were minor distractions but I always came back to you.’

‘But why didn’t you say something?’ she asked, thinking of how she’d longed for him to notice her.

‘I suppose, I didn’t want to be one of your many boyfriends,’ he admitted.

She looked at him and saw the vulnerability in his eyes. Jess raised her hand unconsciously and caressed his cheek. ‘What
did
you want?’

He turned his mouth into her hand and kissed her palm. ‘I wanted to be the only one. I still want to be the only one, Jess.’

She stared at him, afraid to hear him, to believe what he was saying. Yet, despite the fact that they’d exchanged only a handful of kisses, there was no doubting the chemistry between them
and the shiver that ran down her spine simply at the feel of his lips on her hand. Had she ever lost herself in a man’s eyes the way she lost herself in his? When Cal looked at her, she felt
he could see right into her soul and there was no place to hide. Was he truly different from the others? Could she trust these feelings? In his favour, Cal was her only boyfriend to earn
Katie’s approval, which was no mean feat. He wanted her to be ‘the one’. Jess looked up at him. ‘Then what are you waiting for? Kiss me,’ she said.

Cal smiled, triumphant. ‘Gladly.’ He lowered his lips to touch hers in a soft, slow, sweet kiss and then started to trace tiny kisses all along the edge of her mouth until finally
returning to mould his mouth to hers. Okay, so, on top of being handsome and kind and sensitive, he was a great kisser. Surely this man was too good to be true. Stop overthinking, Jess told herself
and, winding her arms round his neck, she did exactly that and gave herself up to the moment.

Suzie sat on the kitchen step, exhausted, absently fondling Percy’s head. She was supposed to be going to the support group today but she couldn’t be bothered. It
depressed her rather than helped her, but, then, she’d never been into publicly sharing her feelings. She’d been raised to put up and shut up.

Doug called to check on her and tell her about the CML get-together he was planning. Suzie said yes and no in the right places but she wasn’t really paying attention. When he asked if
she’d talked to either Noel or Jess, Suzie found an excuse to hang up.

Jess had apologised for upsetting her and wanted to take her out to dinner, and Noel was always lurking around, obviously wanting to talk, but Suzie wasn’t ready to talk to anyone yet,
even Doug.

There was so much going on in her head that she didn’t have the time or energy for conversation. The memories that had evaded her for so long were coming back, fast and furious. She went
from being angry to upset to confused and sad and then back around again. Her days were spent staring into space and avoiding people, bar Bobby. For the first time, she welcomed and appreciated his
quiet presence, finally recognising that his silence wasn’t a sign of attitude or insolence but simply a part of his character. Not a bad trait. Too many people spoke when they had little to
say.

Bobby certainly seemed to be more comfortable with her silence than the mindless, childish chatter she’d felt obliged to make. Sometimes the only noise in the house was Radio Two, playing
quietly in the background while Bobby’s pencil scratched on paper and Percy padded between them.

Suzie had taken to waiting until she was collecting her grandson from school to walk the dog. It was worth it just to see the child’s face light up when he saw Percy waiting for him at the
school gate. Once inside the park, Suzie would allow Bobby to take the lead and she’d carry his schoolbag while he walked Percy, his face screwed up in concentration. Then the dog would sit
patiently while Bobby played on the swings before they made their way home. It meant a shorter and less stressful time pent up in the house.

If Noel was home, Suzie went to the supermarket or had a cuppa with Aileen, anything to avoid talking to him. She’d confided in her neighbour about her son’s plans but said nothing
about all the other stuff going on. She couldn’t talk about any of it until she’d figured it all out herself.

‘Cooee! Only me.’

Speak of the devil. Suzie sighed as she remembered what day it was. She and Aileen always had a cuppa and a natter on Mondays.