Secret Seduction (16 page)

“Fine,” she lied.

Vanessa stared at Tanner.

Tanner stared at Vanessa.

“What are you hiding?” she asked, trying hard to keep the anger, fear and feelings of betrayal out of her voice. She could be wrong. She wanted to be wrong. “Unburden yourself. You can tell me. I won’t judge you,” she repeated his words. Mocking him.

His eyes never left her face. Did he guess she’d figured him out?

“Tell me your darkest secret,” she coaxed, propping her chin in her palms and unblinkingly holding his steady gaze. She’d faced Carlo Vega in a courtroom. She could handle this.

“You first,” he said.

“No. I know you’re hiding something from me,” she said, turning the tables. “There’s something you’re not telling me and I want to know what it is.”

He studied her for a long moment without speaking, and then he said, “Okay. You win.”

“I’m listening.”

“I’ve never told this to anyone,” he said, and from the expression in his eyes, she believed him. “Remember what happened to Maria?”

Vanessa blinked. This wasn’t the secret she was expecting. “You said your wife was murdered in a convenience store robbery while you were out of town.”

His jaw hardened.

“Was there something else?” she whispered. She suddenly felt scared. She didn’t want to hear this.

He nodded.

“You were cheating on her?” she guessed.

He looked taken aback that she would even suggest such a thing. “No, never. But Maria and I were having problems. I was on the road a lot and she was lonely. She wanted me to get a job where I stayed home, but I loved what I was doing and…” His words broke off.

Vanessa sucked in her breath, felt a visceral punch to her stomach. The calm, cool way he expressed himself completely undid her.

“What was going to happen between you two?”

Tanner frowned. “I’m not sure, but I couldn’t help feeling that if I’d done what she wanted, gotten a different job, I could have saved her.”

“Oh, Tanner.” The backs of her eyelids burned with tears. She pulled back to look at him. His face was closed off, expressionless.

“I never got a chance to fix things between us. We had an argument the last time I saw her. She said I worked too hard, was away too often. I called her selfish.”

Vanessa’s heart wrenched for him for what he had suffered. “I’m sure she knew how much you loved her. I’m certain you two would have worked things out.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Like that makes it any better. The last thing I said to her was hurtful. It was my fault she was in that convenience store. If I hadn’t been on the road with the governor…”

“You can’t blame yourself,” she said, but she knew it was his nature. He was a protective guy and he felt he hadn’t protected his wife.

“That’s when I quit and went into building security. Stupid, really. Now I have regular hours and I don’t travel anymore and there’s no one to come home to.”

“Tanner.” Vanessa shook her head. “I don’t know what to say.”

He shrugged as if he were pushing away emotions. “Tell me your darkest secret. I know you have them. Tell me. Trust me.” He placed his hand over hers.

He did suspect her of sabotaging Confidential Rejuvenations. How could he believe she’d do such a thing? He talked of trust, yet how could he expect her to trust him when he did not trust her? Talk about hypocritical.

Vanessa pulled away her hand. “I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work.”

“What?” Anger tinged his voice. “You’ll share your body with me, no problem, but you won’t share your secrets?”

“I don’t have to do this.” She got up, pushed back her chair and headed for the exit. She felt rather than saw heads turning as she fled.

“Vanessa, wait,” Tanner called.

She ran from the cantina, rushed for the beach. She heard his running footsteps behind her. Her heart pounded with emotion. Hope, longing, fear, anger, betrayal, self-doubt, guilt—all of it, years of it—pushing up from the bottom of her lonely, aching soul, spilling the bitter taste of regret and loss into her mouth.

Tanner caught her just as she reached the beach, his hand locking around her elbow. He spun her around to face him. She swatted at him, but he pulled her to him, hugging her. “It’s okay. It’s all right. You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not ready to tell me.”

He held her tight. Dammit, she just melted into him. He felt so good, so solid, so trustworthy.

Overhead the call of circling seagulls reminded her of where she was. She pulled away from him, tearing herself from his body heat, wondering what was going on inside his head. “Why don’t you just come clean and tell me the truth about what you’re up to? Admit the truth.”

He tilted his head and his shoulders tensed. He looked guilty. She was right. She was his prime suspect.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“You think I’m the one sabotaging the hospital,” she accused. “That’s why you’re sticking to me like glue.”

His laugh took her by surprise. “That’s what you believe?”

She sank her hands on her hips. “It would explain a lot. Why you keep showing up all the time.”

“I’m trying to get close to you because I like you, dammit. I want to be around you. Is that so hard to believe?”

Yes, truthfully it was. No man had ever made such an effort to get to know her and she didn’t know how to deal with the attention.

“What happened to you, Vanessa?” he asked. “What’s made you so distrustful of people?”

“Life happened, okay?”

He took her hand in his. It felt warm and soothing. “Why are you so afraid of letting someone in?”

“Don’t you get it?” Vanessa murmured. “I’m ashamed. I’m ashamed and I’m afraid that if you knew the truth about me you wouldn’t want me.”

He took her chin in his fingers, forced her to look at him. “That could never happen.”

“You don’t know the things I’ve done,” she said.

“I’m a pretty understanding guy. What do I have to do to prove I’m trustworthy? Hunt up my old Eagle Scout good conduct medal?”

That made her smile. “Look, I’m just not ready. Okay? I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”

“We can’t have a relationship without trust.”

“I know. I’m not sure I’m capable of having a lasting relationship.”

“Have you ever tried?”

She shook her head.

“Do you want to try with me?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.”

He reached out to trace her cheekbone with his finger. “It means giving up your secrets.”

“I know.”

“And trusting me not to hurt you.”

She tucked her bottom lip up between her teeth. “It’s a monumental step for me.”

“It’s okay, I’ll let you have your secrets for now. I can wait for you, Vanessa,” Tanner said. “Because you’re worth waiting for.”

TANNER DIDN’T SIT beside her on the flight home, and Vanessa didn’t know what to make of that. One part of her was relieved that he’d kept his distance, another part of her felt strangely bereft.

The fact that Maxine Woodbury ended up in the seat beside her added to the discomfort of the flight home. She had to listen to the woman’s take on everyone at the hospital, including her opinion of Vanessa’s scrub nurse, Chloe.

“Sweet girl, sweet girl,” Maxine said. “Did you know Chloe’s adopted?”

“I didn’t,” Vanessa said, feigning interest.

“Yep. She’s got issues over it, too. She thinks Senator Garcia and his wife don’t really love her because she’s not their biological child.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I never hear you talk about your family, Vanessa.” Maxine smiled like a chirpy little bird.

“That’s because I don’t have one.”

“Really?” Maxine arched an eyebrow. “No one? Not even a distant cousin or an aunt or something?”

She thought of her mother and Earl. “No one I want to keep in contact with.”

Maxine clicked her tongue. “Such a shame. Family is so important. Did you know I have seven grandchildren?” And then she was off on her grandchildren, pulling pictures out of her wallet and telling Vanessa everything about her family life.

By the time they touched down in Austin, Vanessa was ready to get home. She gathered her luggage at the carousel and headed for the parking garage.

“Hey, wait for me.”

She looked up to see Tanner coming up behind her. She had to admit, she was relieved to see him.

“I’ll follow you home. See, aren’t you glad, I moved in?” He bent to pick up her suitcase.

She had to admit it felt nice knowing she wasn’t alone. The headlights of his Jeep, shone in her back window as they drove toward home. When they reached the condos, he parked in his driveway and came over to help her unpack her car.

He walked up the sidewalk with her. She paused at the door, house keys in hand. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

She wondered if he was going to kiss her, afraid that he was. She was still so mixed-up she knew if he did she would ask him in. “I’ve got it from here.”

“You sure?”

She nodded.

“I’m just next door—” he jerked his thumb over his shoulder “—if you need anything.”

“I’ll holler if I do.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

He lingered on the front porch, the lamplight casting him in an orange glow that made her think of Halloween. His eyes were on her lips, and then he turned and walked away into the darkness, leaving Vanessa feeling as if she’d just lost her very best friend in the world.

It took only a split second for the sound to register in his brain, but it meant that was one second too long. Vanessa was in trouble. Chills shot down his spine. Tanner spun on his heels, ripped open the door and bounded back across the small, neatly trimmed lawn from where he had just come.

His heart hammered as he blasted up her front stoop. He cursed himself out loud. He should never have let her go in there alone after dark, after returning from a long weekend trip. He’d been too damned concerned about giving her space. Letting her come to him on her own terms. He’d forgotten his true mission, and if she’d been hurt he would never forgive himself.

“Vanessa,” he yelled, barreling through her front door. Instinct had him reaching for his holster, but he didn’t have his gun on him. It was in the drawer beside his bed. He cursed himself again.

He halted when he saw her, standing in the middle of the living room. She stood staring at the walls graffitied with the words GET OUT OF TOWN OR DIE BITCH in what appeared to be blood.

The place had been ransacked. Furniture tossed. Couch pillows sliced opened. Potted plants overturned. Her cat’s litter box upended in the middle of the floor. Draperies torn from curtain rods. He could feel the blind anger and bitter frustration in the vandalism. This was a disorganized offender.

In an instant he was beside her, pulling her against his chest, holding her tight while she trembled in his arms.

“Wh…wh…what…wh…who?” she stammered.

“Shh.” Tanner cradled Vanessa’s face against him, shielding her eyes as he reached into the front pocket of his jeans, pulled out his cell phone and punched in 9-1-1 with one hand.

“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?” asked the operator.

“There’s been a break-in,” he said, and gave the dispatcher the details and Vanessa’s address.

Twenty minutes later the place was alive with cops and a forensic team. Vanessa was seated at a chair in the kitchen, and Tanner stood beside her, his hands on her shoulders as she answered the lead investigator’s questions.

“You live here alone?” asked the officer who’d identified himself as Detective Malcolm.

“Yes.”

“You know of anyone who might have a grudge against you?”

It was on the tip of Tanner’s tongue to tell the detective about Carlo Vega. He bit down just in time to keep from blurting the information. Vanessa didn’t know he knew about Vega.

She cleared her throat. “Fourteen years ago I witnessed a crime and the perpetrator was sent to prison. At the trial, after he was found guilty of manslaughter, he vowed to kill me when he got out. He was released from prison a few weeks ago.”

“That right?” The officer glanced at Tanner as if he wanted him to confirm her story.

“He doesn’t know. He’s just my neighbor. He heard me scream and came running.” Vanessa said.

The cop looked unconvinced. “This ex-con, what’s his name?”

“Carlo Vega.”

“Where’s he live?”

“El Paso.”

Detective Malcolm made a notation on his steno pad and then scratched his head. “Why would this guy tell you to get out of Austin?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it isn’t Vega. You asked if anyone might have a grudge against me. That’s the only person I can think of.”

“Hey, Chief.” One of the men cloaked in a blue paper forensics jumpsuit, hair cap, face mask and booties appeared in the doorway. He tugged down the mask. “The blood on the wall isn’t blood. It’s looks like the stuff they use in movies for blood. I’ll know for sure when I get it back to the lab.”

“That’s a relief.” The lead investigator let out a heavy breath. “So we’re not looking for a body.”

Tanner felt Vanessa’s shoulders sag beneath his hands. He could tell she was more relieved than the detective.

“Let me get this straight,” Detective Malcolm continued, raising a finger. “You were out of town at a conference and came home to this. Anything else out of the ordinary happen lately?”

“There was the e-mail,” Vanessa said. “But that could just be related to what’s going on at Confidential Rejuvenations.”

“Excuse me? What e-mail? What’s going on where?”

She explained about the e-mail she’d received and the odd happenings at the hospital.

“I’ll need a copy of that e-mail,” he said.

“It’s on my work computer, but I’ll make sure you get it,” she said.

“Also it looks like the perp wore gloves,” the forensic agent said. “Only fingerprints on the wall belong to Dr. Rodriquez.”

“Thanks, Larry.” The lead investigator turned back to her. “I recommend you find somewhere else to stay for the night.”

“Yes,” Vanessa said. “Thank you for the advice.”

Forty-five minutes after they’d arrived, the police officers departed.

Tanner turned to Vanessa. “Get your things,” he said, making sure his tone brooked no argument. “You and Fantasia are moving in with me.”

TANNER TOOK HER OVER to Julie’s to pick up Fantasia and they had to fill Julie in on what had happened. Vanessa had been too rattled to hide her distress. Seeing her cat, knowing what could have happened if the break-in had occurred while Fantasia had been in the house chilled her to the bone. If Carlo Vega was behind the ransacking, she knew exactly what he was capable of. Killing a cat meant nothing to the ruthless man.

It was almost midnight by the time they got back to Tanner’s place, and he pulled her into his arms again. She was beginning to treasure and look forward to the warmth of his strong embrace.

When had she started to depend on him? She shouldn’t be leaning on him so heavily, but she was finding him so hard to resist.

It was the first time she’d been in his condo. It was sparsely furnished. A couch. A chair. No pictures on the wall. Not too many personal items. She wondered what had happened to the things he’d had when he was married, but she didn’t ask. She had a feeling he’d gotten rid of it all in an attempt to rid himself of the pain. Vanessa understood the scorched-earth policy. She also knew how damned lonely it felt.

She dropped her overnight bag on the floor, and spied a framed wedding picture on top of a box. It was Tanner and a beautiful brunette woman. “Maria?”

Tanner nodded.

Vanessa picked up the photograph. “She was beautiful.”

“Yeah.” His voice was rough.

She set the picture back down. “Is this your keepsake box?”

“Let’s not go through that.”

She bent to pick up a glistening gold medal that had been underneath the photograph. She didn’t know why she was being so nosy. She would have gotten ticked if he’d gone through her things like this. Holding up the medal, she read what it said, then looked at him in surprise. “What do you know? You really do have a good conduct medal. I thought you were joking.”

“That’s enough making fun of me for one day,” he said lightly, taking the medal from her and sticking it into his pocket. He looked embarrassed.

Immediately she felt bad for having snooped through his private things. “I wasn’t making fun.”

“No?”

“I wish I had a good conduct medal.”

“Being good isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” he said. “People take advantage of that.”

“There aren’t very many honorable men left in the world, Tanner. Be proud of who you are.”

“I haven’t been so honorable these past few weeks. Not when it came to you. No good conduct there.”

“I beg to differ. From my point of view, you’ve been very good indeed.” She darted a quick glance below his belt.

He laughed then and reached out to stroke a finger along her jaw. “You’ve been through a lot today. Why don’t I draw you a bath?”

Her first instinct was to tell him no, but then the concerned look on his face, the weariness in her body knocked holes in her independence. Besides he’d understood enough to let her go through his belongings. How nice it would be to let him take care of her. Just for a little while.

She nodded and his eyes glistened as if she’d bestowed him with a great gift. The warmth of his smile curled around her and she didn’t protest when he took her by the hand and led her into his bathroom.

He turned on the bathwater. “Temperature?”

“I like it hot.”

“Should have guessed.” He adjusted the faucets, then straightened, turned to her and slowly began unbuttoning her shirt. She didn’t resist. He pulled the shirt over her shoulders, dropped it to the floor.

Her nipples beaded in anticipation.

He chuckled and bent to kiss each straining bud before moving on to undo the snap on her jeans. He slid her pants down to her ankles. “Foot up.”

She had to put her palm to the top of his head to maintain her balance while she raised her right foot and he slipped off her shoe and then guided off the leg of her jeans. She settled her bare foot back on the cool beige tile floor and then lifted the other foot.

He tested the water with his elbow, the way you test it for a baby to make sure it’s not too hot. The gesture was so tender it caught her low in the belly. Here was a man who knew how to take care of people. He was such an unexpected paradox. The burly protector who followed the rules was also a caring nurturer.

“Your bath is ready.”

He took her hand while she stepped into the bath and sank down into the sultry water. It was just as she liked it, hot and steamy.

Tanner knelt beside her with a washcloth, dipped it in the water, soaped it up and slowly began to run it over her.

She didn’t protest. It wasn’t like her to give up control so easily, but he made her feel safe and secure in a way no one ever had.

Just looking at him made her pulse jump. The steam from her bath curled the ends of his blond hair, giving him a boyish appearance that melted her heart. A bead of sweat formed at his throat. Her gaze fixed on that salty drop. She watched it roll down his neck to disappear into his collar.

Man alive, he was gorgeous.

Tanner had stopped rubbing her arm with the washcloth. She met his eyes and saw he was assessing her as intently as she’d been watching him. He sucked in his breath as if she’d stolen his air.

The mood between them was electric, tender and oddly serene. After what had just happened in her condo she shouldn’t be feeling serene, but she was.

Because of Tanner.

There was so much affection and familiarity in his eyes that her resistance just collapsed in on itself.

“Your hair’s getting wet,” he said.

“Will you wash it for me?” she asked, surprising herself.

“Sure.” He looked pleased.

She sank down, dropped her head back in the water, soaking her hair while he reached for the bottle of shampoo. It smelled clean and honest, unscented by florals or fruits.

Like Tanner.

She sat back up, her drenched wet hair trailing down her back. His fingers worked the shampoo into her hair with firm but gentle kneading motions. She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his hands.

“I was fifteen when my stepfather tried to molest me,” she whispered.

It startled her to hear the words slip from her own lips. She hadn’t even known she was going to say them.

Tanner stopped massaging her head, but only for a moment. He didn’t comment. He just went back to his task. His silence gave her the courage to continue.

“I told my mother,” she said, hearing the emotion rise high in her voice. Even after all this time the memory still had the power to knock her flat. “She accused me of trying to seduce her husband.”

The sound of Tanner’s indrawn breath filled the small space.

“My own mother. Believing him and not me.”

Tanner’s hand slipped to her shoulders. He squeezed her lightly. Telling her with his hands what he didn’t say with his mouth. It’s okay. It’s over. The past is gone and I’m here now.

Vanessa closed her eyes, drew her knees to her chest and bowed her head. She was building herself up to tell him her dark, sordid secret. The secret she’d been unable and unwilling to tell him in the Bahamas. But after the shock of tonight’s events and the way he’d proven himself to her, she was finally ready.

Tanner’s thumbs worked the knots in her shoulders, easing her tension.

“Rather than stay there and be abused, I ran away from home,” Vanessa explained. “The only place I could make enough money to live was working at a strip club run by a man named Carlo Vega.”

She fell silent, waiting to see how he would react to this bombshell. Would he be disgusted?

“Doing what you had to do to survive,” he murmured.

She swallowed past the painful memory. He didn’t seem to be judging her. “Yes.”

“You were underage. A child.”

“Exactly. That’s what people like Vega do. Take advantage of innocence. Corrupting lost and lonely kids. I danced there for two years, hoping and dreaming of a better future. I wanted to be a doctor so badly. I was good at my job. I made a lot of money and I saved it and I got my GED. But I saw things no girl should have to see, put up with things no woman should have to put up with. Then one night…one night…” She broke off. She hadn’t spoken of that night since the trial.