See Dick Cook: A Culinary Voyage for the Average Man (5 page)

Poker Pizza Dip

As far as dips go, this one is manly enough to serve to your buddies. Keep these simple ingredients on hand to whip up a quick appetizer for poker night...everyone will ante up!

Procedure

Preheat oven to 375° F.

Mix the cream cheese with the Italian spices and spread over the bottom of a 9 x 11 inch pan.

Spread out one of the cans of pizza sauce, and top with two cups of the mozzarella cheese.

Next spread the second can of pizza sauce out, followed by the remaining cheese.

Spread the pepperoni over the final layer and bake in the oven for 40 - 45 minutes, or until the top layer of cheese is bubbling.

Meanwhile brush the pita bread with some garlic flavored olive oil and then cut into bite sized triangles. Arrange on a cookie sheet.

When you remove the dip from the oven, place the pita wedges in and bake for ten minutes or until slightly browned.

Serve the pita wedges with the dip.

Servings: 6

Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Easy

Oven Temperature: 375°F

Preparation Time: 10 minutes

Cooking Time: 45 minutes

Total Time: 55 minutes

Dicks Tips

The Dick Factor: Throw some of your favorite veggie toppings on the dip prior to baking. You can also have a variety of 'dippers' such as nacho chips and bread sticks in addition to the pita wedges.

Real Men Do Cry French Onion Soup

Let this soup help you connect with your feminine side Dick. Its rich broth and slow cooked onions are perfect for a crisp autumn day. It will warm your belly and your soul.

Procedure

In a large sauce pan melt the olive oil and butter on medium high heat. Add the onions and sugar and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring frequently. The onions should start turning brown on the edges.

Now reduce the heat to the lowest setting and continue to cook for another 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, turn your crock-pot onto low. Add the beef broth, wine, cognac, Herbes de Provence, Worcestershire and bay leaves to the crock-pot,

Take your onions and add them to the crock-pot. Cover and cook slowly for about 5 hours.

When you're ready to serve, turn the broiler in the oven on high and grab your French onion soup bowls. Ladle each bowl to about ¾ full, throw in a handful of Dick's Garlic Croutons, and top with the shredded Gruyere cheese.

Arrange the French onion soup bowls on a cookie sheet and broil in the oven for 3 - 4 minutes or until your cheese is bubbly and starting to brown.

Remove from oven and carefully rest on a small plate lined with a napkin to keep the bowls from sliding.

Servings: 6

Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Moderately difficult

Preparation Time: 45 minutes

Cooking Time: 5 minutes

Inactive Time: 5 hours

Total Time: 5 hours and 50 minutes

Dicks Tips

If your eyes are sensitive to fresh cut onions Dick, try wearing your sunglasses or better yet some swimming goggles when you cut them up. Ya, you'll look goofy but you won't shed a tear.

The Dick Factor: Keep about a ¼ cup of crispy fried onions and sprinkle some on top of the melted cheese before serving.

Red Hot Red Pepper Soup

A bit of a pain in the ass to make, but well worth the effort!

Procedure

Preheat oven to 400° F. Cut the tops off of the peppers, and core and seed them. Place them skin side up on a shallow baking dish and bake in the oven for approximately 30 minutes, or until skins become soft and bubble up. Don't worry if the skins start to darken.

Meanwhile, melt butter in a large soup pot and sauté onion on medium heat for ten minutes or until soft.

Add chicken soup broth, wine, rosemary and dill to soup pot, boiling softly on medium heat for twenty minutes.

When peppers are done, remove from baking dish and immerse briefly (30 seconds) in cold water to help loosen the skins. Remove from water, peel away skins and toss 'em. Put peeled peppers into soup pot and simmer for another five minutes.

Carefully pour soup mixture into a blender or food processor and blend until smooth or desired consistency is reached. Return to soup pot and stir in cream, cayenne, paprika, salt and pepper. Cook on medium low heat for at least 20 minutes and then simmer on low until ready to serve.

Servings: 4

Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Moderately difficult

Oven Temperature: 400°F

Preparation Time: 35 minutes

Cooking Time: 1 hour

Total Time: 1 hour and 35 minutes

Dicks Tips

The red peppers could also be roasted on the barbecue in advance instead of in the oven. If making this soup as an appetizer for a meal, prepare ahead of time and reheat when ready to serve or simply leave simmering on low heat.

The Dick Factor: If you want to be a fancy Dick cut a sprig of rosemary off and use as a garnish to float on top of the soup.

Reservoir Dogs Casserole

A spicy casserole great for the game or a manly flick. Be sure to have a reservoir of cold beer on hand to wash this down.

Procedure

In a large skillet, melt butter on medium heat and sauté onions and peppers for ten minutes.

Stir in your wieners, beans, chili sauce, ketchup and cayenne pepper. Reduce heat and simmer for five minutes.

Remove mixture from heat and pour into a large casserole dish.

Preheat the oven to 350° F.

In a large bowl, combine the remaining ingredients to make the biscuit topping. Carefully spoon the topping over the meat mixture.

Bake uncovered in the oven for 25 to 30 minutes, or until biscuit topping is golden brown.

Servings: 6

Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Easy

Oven Temperature: 350°F

Preparation Time: 20 minutes

Cooking Time: 30 minutes

Total Time: 50 minutes

Dicks Tips

You can use regular wieners here Dick, but the turkey or chicken wieners will reduce the fat content with no change in taste.

She's Perfect Pesto Portabellas

This is a pretty simple, yet showy appetizer that's sure to impress your guests. Four ingredients and ten minutes on the grill, and once more you've outdone yourself.

Procedure

Wash and stem your mushrooms, then pat dry with a paper towel. On the top (smooth side) brush each mushroom lightly with the olive oil.

Flip over and spoon one tablespoon of pesto onto each underbelly of the mushroom, and spread evenly.

Top the pesto with a tablespoon of goat cheese in the center of each mushroom.

Grill on the barbecue over medium heat (oiled side down Dick) for approximately ten minutes or until mushrooms appear moist and softened. Serve warm.

Servings: 4

Yield: 4

Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Very easy

Preparation Time: 5 minutes

Cooking Time: 10 minutes

Total Time: 15 minutes

Dicks Tips

This appetizer should serve one mushroom per guest depending on size. When choosing your portabella mushrooms, try to get fresh ones that are about 5 inches (12 cm) in diameter. There is no need to remove the 'fins' from the underbelly, just rinse well before preparing.

As for the pesto, you can find jars of this in the same aisle as you would purchase your pasta sauces. It's a versatile Dick Staple and always good to have handy.

Hot Mama Melts

Okay, so maybe not the healthiest choice, but holy man are these good. Serve them up to your buddies next time they're over... just keep the defibrillator charged.

Procedure

Preheat oven to 400° F.

In a bowl, combine the butter, onion, peppers, cheese, mayo, and garlic powder.

Slice the baguette into ¼ inch thick slices and spread the mixture over top of each slice.

Bake on a cookie sheet for 10 minutes or until cheese starts to bubble and brown.

Servings: 4

Yield: 12

Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Very easy

Oven Temperature: 400°F

Preparation Time: 10 minutes

Cooking Time: 10 minutes

Total Time:

Dicks Tips

Baguettes usually don't keep fresh for too long Dick, so try to pick the loaf up that day or at most the day before. Also, I'll stress again not to use Miracle Whip here. Stick to the real thing my friend.

Single and Sexy Caesar Salad

So sexy you won't care about the garlic breath Dick. Use this as an appetizer or a side dish with any meat. Hell, use it as a main course with some chicken thrown on top. It will truly be the best Caesar salad you've ever had.

Procedure

Wash, dry and chop romaine. If you have a salad spinner to remove the excess water, use it. They rock. If not wash the romaine leaves, pat dry with a paper towel, then chop.

Microwave bacon slices for 8 minutes at 70% power, covered with a paper towel. Chop.

Combine all ingredients in a large bowl. Toss salad to coat. Add more or less dressing according to taste.