See How She Falls (24 page)

Falling
to the floor, I let myself get lost in the comfort of what our future might
have been. I could see children running through the halls, echoes of laughter
bouncing all around. A garden that somehow actually managed to grow was just
outside of the open windows. Kennan chased our kids down the stairs and
outside, pretending to be a monster as they giggled and squealed with delight.
A million scenarios of ordinary days played out before my eyes, only they were
extraordinary. Every breath that would be left untaken, every heartbeat left to
silence, every moment and every second played out before me. The life I could
have had, if I’d just chosen correctly.

Isadora
had told me once that I would’ve been happy, that I would lead my life in
blissful glee with my family. Yet, I’d thought my place was there, helping with
the Seers. What did I have to show for it? I’d lost so much. Kennan, my
parents, even myself. I was left with nothing and it was all because I’d made
the wrong decision.

But
now it was too late. I’d made my bed and now I’d have to pay the consequences.
Kennan’s death was on my hands. The world had lost something beautiful because
I’d given everything to fight an unwinnable battle.

“Why
can’t I just die?” I screamed out to the heavens as a sob wracked my body. I
wanted to fade away, to be with him. At least then, this might have all been
worth the price.

“You
must pay for the gifts you were given.” A voice whispered through the air.

“I
never asked for this!” I shouted, trying to keep myself together.

“Yet
you were given, none the less. Now, you must endure the cost of what was given
to you.” Uriel’s voice rang out.

“How
long must I endure this? How long must I journey between planes, never finding
refuge? This seems a worse hell than any the demon might have brought
forth.” 

“Yours
is a life of wonder, Izzy. You will not die.” Uriel came into view, standing
over me a flaming visage.

“I
will never see an end," I whispered, afraid.

“All
things see an end. Perhaps when this world is no more, you too shall be free.”

“Why
must I pay for something that I never asked for?” I longed for some sort of
answer, something that would help to make sense of it all.

“You
are not the only one paying for Aberto’s actions," Uriel promised, doing
nothing to ease my pain.

“So,
you are telling me that me being like this is some form of demented punishment
for him?” 

“All
actions have consequences, Izzy," Uriel breathed, as if I’d become a
nuisance.

“Fuck
you and your consequences!” I yelled, ripping myself from the house and back
into the dreaming. I’d had enough. I could see why people would turn against
the world. I now understood why Aberto had disappeared for so long. It had all
been for nothing. Every gain, every loss, every lesson learned was all for
naught.

As
I drifted into the fog to be lost, one thought crossed my mind. The Council
members. I’d seen them, in the demon’s eyes. They’d been behind it the whole
time, using Emmanuel as some sort of puppet to do their bidding. If I had
anything left in me, I would care. Now, after I’d given everything I had, it
meant nothing. Let the world burn. Let man turn against man. It was an endless,
unwinnable battle. Pointless.

I
breathed a goodbye to the world I’d known. I was Izzy Boone no more, that girl
died right alongside Kennan on the battlefield. Every part of me that had
loved, that had lost, everything that made me who I’d been, was gone. My life
should have ended. I should have fallen, and so fall I would into the deepest
chasm the dreaming had to offer. I would wait there for the end of time. I was
no more.

“Hello,
oblivion," I whispered, falling back into the endless swirling vortex of
the dreaming. As the darkness closed in, I was finally greeted with some respite.
Numbness cascaded over me as I sought out the darkest corner the dreaming had
to offer.

Chapter
Thirty

Molly

“What
do you mean he’s dead? How in the hell did you people let that happen?” I
shouted into the phone. I knew we should’ve gone with them to the Order. I’d
been too concerned with Ian’s delicate situation and I hadn’t been there for my
friends when they needed me the most. “Where’s Izzy? What happened?”

“I
will come and explain everything.” Aberto’s voice sounded drawn on the other end.
Like I gave a rat’s ass how he felt. He’d been the one that got Izzy caught up
in this whole mess to begin with. If it hadn’t been for him tampering with the
laws of humanity, Izzy would still be safe at the Council with their help
instead of with the crazy witchdoctors in the swamp.

“Well,
come on then. Poof yourself here.” I slammed the phone shut, fighting the urge
to throw it against the wall. Too much had happened over the past year.

“Is
it true?” Ian asked from my side. His voice strained, barely masking the tears
that threatened to burst the dam at any moment.

“Kennan’s
gone. Aberto’s on his way to tell us what happened now," I said with
ruthless efficiency. I couldn’t let my emotions get the best of me. I had to
stay focused until I knew what was really going on.

“I
should’ve been there.” Ian got up from the couch and began to pace. “I
should’ve manned up and gone with my brother. He’s always had my back and the
one time he needs me, I flake out.”

“What
could you have done? You being there wouldn’t have changed a durn thing and you
know it. Kennan knew what it meant for you to go back there, to the Order. He
wouldn’t have asked that of you.” I swore under my breath. If there was one
thing I’d learned about Ian over the past year, it was that he held onto stuff
tightly and for immeasurable amounts of time. I knew he’d never forgive himself
for not being there.

“It
should have been me, not him," Ian choked out.

I
rose from my seat, reaching up on the tiptoes to slap him across his stupid
dense face. “Don’t you dare ever say anything that dumb again, do you
understand me?”

Ian
stared down at me, shocked for a moment, before pulling me close to his chest.
Things had not been easy for us. We’d been playing the hot then cold game for
longer than I could remember, but lately, with the world falling apart, things
had changed. With my mom, the traitorous bitch, and his sketchy past, we’d
found some sort of bridge. Plus, he’d finally started dressing in a socially acceptable
manner. That one still surprised me.

“I
just can’t believe he’s gone. Izzy! Where is she?” Ian pulled back, concern
etched across his face setting off my lingering handprint nicely.

“Aberto
is coming. He said he would explain.” I just hoped he would get there quickly.

“Well,
he needs to hurry it up and get here. I need to know, Molly. I have to know
what happened to him.” Ian’s voice threatened to break.

“He’s
coming, just try and stay calm. Freaking out isn’t going to bring him back.
Right now we need to try and keep ourselves together and find out what in the
hell is going on first.” I was ever the sensible one in our duo. Really, I’d
never had the luxury of allowing my emotions to come out and play. I’d always
had to repress everything in order to maintain the status quo.

Just
like that Aberto appeared in the room. Instead of the normal withdrawn, cocky
expression he tended to wear, there was fear. He looked broken, still covered
in the blood from the battle.

“What’s
happened?” Ian rushed toward Aberto.

“They’re
gone.” Aberto swayed before falling to his knees. “I didn’t protect her.”

“You’re
not making any sense. Tell us what’s happened!” I yelled. Hoping to pull him
out of his misery long enough to find out what had transpired.

“The
battle, I knew he would die. I’ve always known. I told him, and he did what I’d
seen him do over and over. He stepped in when Izzy could not move. His death
drew her out and then, something happened. I’m not sure. There was a blinding
blue light that burned. It ripped through the surroundings, scorching
everything in its path. She clung to the demon as the blue light ripped through
them both. She was gone.”

“You
said she didn’t die. What do you mean she’s gone?” I was getting ready to haul
off and slap Aberto. It seemed to be a slapping sort of day. If he didn’t start
making some sense I was gonna lose my shit.

“She
was gone, but as the light faded, she reappeared. She stood in the center of
the scorched field, changed. She isn’t mortal now. She’s something different, and
it is my fault.”

“What
happened? You aren’t telling us anything!” I shouted, hoping to pull Aberto
from his thoughts.

“Kennan,
he stepped in to save Izzy and the demon ripped him to pieces as if he were
made of mere parchment. Sonneillon threw him to the side like refuse. Something
in her changed. She broke when she saw him die. After the demon was gone, she
tried to piece Kennan back together. I had to make her sleep. When she finally
awoke back at the Order, she was gone. She isn’t Izzy any longer. She cares not
what becomes of this world. I’ve taken everything from her, and given her
nothing but an accursed existence in return.”

“Where
is she?” Ian wrapped a hand in Aberto’s shirt, pulling him to his feet.

“I
know not.” Aberto had been broken right along with Izzy. Nothing would ever be
the same again if we didn’t find her and bring her home.

“Right,
well then, we need to have a talk, you and me," I said to Ian. “And you,
stop being a sad sack of suckage and go find our girl. I don’t care how long it
takes you. Something isn’t right, and if Izzy needs help, then we are going to
help her. She has lost everything to this world, we can’t let her spend the
rest of her eternity alone. So go, get moving, find her!” I shooed Aberto,
hoping to scoot him off to the plane of the dreaming.

“I
do not know where to find her.” Aberto seemed wholly broken.

“You
know her. Probably better than anyone else does. Try to think like her, where
she might go, who she might reach out to. Get the Old Man gang together if you
have to, but you find her. Don’t come back until you’ve at least figured out
where she might be. She needs you now, more than ever. She might not know it
yet, but it is true. Stop standing here getting your sad all over the place and
go.” I gave his shoulder a nudge causing him to nod in ascent.

As
he faded from the room I turned my attention toward Ian. The next bit wasn’t
going to be easy.

“I
know," he said before I could even get the words out of my mouth.

“You
know what?” I asked, annoyed at his tone.

“We
have to go to the Order. Just so you know, things are different there,"
Ian sighed, running a hand over his head.

“Ian,
I grew up inside of the Corporation, my mother is completely psychotic, and
I’ve just been bounced from the Council. I am in no position to judge. Besides,
I’ve been in your closet. That much plaid could
not
have come from
anywhere normal," I smiled, hoping to pull Ian from his misery.

“How
are you so upbeat right now? Kennan’s dead and Izzy is missing.” Ian seemed
perplexed by my attitude. I’d be the first to admit, optimism wasn’t typically
my jig.

“I’m
channeling Izzy, okay? She wouldn’t let the circumstances stop her, and neither
will I. Not until we get her back and she can take over being Suzie Optimist
again. Until then, I’m going to keep plowing ahead. If I stop and let the
sadness take me down I won’t be any good to her. I’m not letting that girl
down! Do you understand me?” I leveled Ian with a steady, unrelenting gaze. It
was time we got cracking.

“Okay,
fine, but I need to make some calls before I am even able to return. This isn’t
going to be as easy as you hope," Ian sighed, pulling out his phone.

“We
have to try. If there is anything we can do to find her, we have to. She would
do it for us.” I paused for a moment, letting reality sink in. Izzy was gone.
Well and truly gone from this world. She’d been like the sister I’d never
wanted, but was super happy to have. I couldn’t lose her, not after everything
we’d been through. It wasn’t fair for it to end this way. It couldn’t end like
this, with her gone and Kennan dead. If I had any say in the matter, it
wouldn’t. Damn it.

Chapter
Thirty One

Molly 

Running
up to my room to throw a bag together, I tried to formulate a plan. Sure we
should go to the Order to be with everyone, but what then? I had a terrible
feeling about what was going on. It felt unresolved, like this wasn’t the end
of the story. Prophecy or no prophecy, something was off. Shaking it off, I ran
into what used to be Izzy’s room to put the last touches on my bounce bag. I
hadn’t gotten out of the habit of keeping one packed, and the last few months
had taught me more than anything that it was a worthwhile practice.