See How She Falls (21 page)

I
opened my eyes to a bright world. The running was over, the fight had finally
reached my door. Inhaling slowly, I tried to focus not on what was just around
the corner, but what was here and now. I looked over to find Kennan staring at
me, a thousand feelings passed between us, but none were said. I couldn’t do
what needed to be done if I kept saying goodbye. Time was up, and we needed to
formulate a plan.

“It’s
done," I whispered.

“I
know.” Kennan’s strained reply threatened to tear me apart.

“We
need to make a plan. Find somewhere that we can fight. I don’t know how much
time it will take for Sonneillon to get here. For all I know, he could show up
at any moment.” I moved toward my bag, trying to keep myself in motion. If I
stopped, I would never be able to face it. Just looking at Kennan was painful.
How could I ever leave him?

“Let’s
get dressed and find Eleanor and Mona. Perhaps they will have a better idea of
what we should expect.” Kennan’s subdued tone told me that I wasn’t alone. His
feelings mirrored my own.

“What
about last time? How long was it after Cait’s last mark appeared that the demon
came crashing onto this plane?”

“We
had a day. Just a day.” Kennan rubbed his hand down his face. We were both
reluctant to leave the room, knowing that it was probably the last time we would
have alone together.

“Then
we don’t have any time to waste. We have to get moving," I choked out.
Tears threatened to drown me as I dug through my bag, trying to find something
to wear.

“I
know.” Kennan pulled me close, kissing the top of my head as he did. “But
before we do, I need you to know that no matter what happens, no matter the
outcome of the next few days, I love you. Just try to remember that.”

“I’ve
never doubted it.” I breathed him in, relishing in the comfort of his scent. It
would all be over soon. I just hoped that someday we would be together again.
Surely God wasn’t so cruel as to keep us apart for the rest of time.

“Time’s
up," he muttered, moving away from me to get up and put some clothes on.

I
felt my throat tighten as tears threatened to fall. It was all too much. I
couldn’t understand what kind of cruel world would give me such happiness only to
snatch it away. I suppose it wouldn’t really be a sacrifice if I didn’t have so
much to lose. No matter how I looked at it, this whole situation sucked.

“Can
you ask Eleanor and Mona to meet us downstairs?” I asked.
[N1]
 
Kennan had managed to get dressed already and I needed
some time away from him if I had any hope of keeping myself together.

“I
can.” Kennan moved to the door, looking back at me for a moment. The look in
his eyes ripped my heart out. There was nothing I could do to ease the pain.

I
smiled warmly as he left the room. I had to be strong. I couldn’t falter now,
when my actions mattered the most. It was time I faced the music, got everyone
ready, and ended this darkness. I slowly combed through my meager clothing
choices and picked out the most comfortable thing I could find. Screw going out
in style, I was exhausted and I would be doing good to even put the durn
clothes on.

I
pulled my pants up slowly over the cauterized runes, careful to avoid the
sensitive skin. I did have to give it to them though, whatever they had done
had given me more energy. I didn’t feel like a big wind could blow me over any
longer. When I came to my shirt, I paused to look at the ugly mark in the
mirror. It covered my entire chest, a large glowing symbol of my imminent
destruction. I could feel the pull of the darkness, the temptation to submit as
I looked into the mirror.

“I
will not falter.” I told my reflection, causing my eyes to spark blue. I looked
more closely and found that the hazel of my eyes was almost completely faded.
In its place was the glowing blue I’d seen in Aberto’s eyes and, come to think
of it, Uriel’s eyes. I wondered when the glowing eyes had faded from our DNA.
What an odd thought to have at a time like this. I shook myself from my
ridiculous thoughts and sought to refocus my attention on what was really
important.

I
pulled on my shirt and headed out into the hall, carefully ignoring every one
of the Guardians waiting there. I walked with purpose down the stairs. I needed
goals, I needed something to focus on. If I didn’t keep moving forward, I would
never move at all. I would stay rooted in place, perpetually frozen in this
moment with Kennan. But we weren’t made to stay still, nor were we made to move
backward. The only way for me to go was toward my destiny.

“Izzy?”
Aberto’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.

“Yeah?”
I looked up at him, an empty shell of myself.

“What
has transpired?” Concern etched his features as he pulled me to a stop.

“What’s
happened? You should say that instead.” I paused for a second before moving on,
no stopping for me.

“What’s
happened? Izzy, stop and look at me. Tell me what you know," Aberto
pleaded.

“It’s
time. I know that Uriel is the one that has been talking to me. I know that the
heavens knew of Emmanuel’s plans for as long as he has been in existence. I
know that I only have one day left on this earth. I know that this
predestination stuff sucks. Mostly, I know that I’ve been living on borrowed
time, and it is time to repay that debt.” I rushed through everything, hoping
that if I just kept going, I would find a way to make it.

“You
owe nothing.” Aberto’s eyes flamed.

“I
owe everything.” I reached up and touched his face the way he had mine a
thousand time throughout my life. “Please don’t make this any harder on me than
it already is.” 

“What
would you have me do?” His voice came out strained.

“Help
me. Help Kennan and Conall, even Ian when I’m gone. Help them to keep
fighting.”

“Izzy,
there is something I feel I should tell you.” Aberto looked pained, as if the
words were stuck.

“Nothing
you can say will make this any different. This is the end, and I’ve accepted
that. There is no sense in dwelling on it. So promise me, promise you will help
them.”

“I
will do your bidding until the end of my days, Izzy.” Aberto pulled me closely
against his skin. It was the first time he’d embraced me when I wasn’t in the
process of trying to die. It was strangely comforting.

“We
need to get moving. We don’t have much more time.” I pulled away from him and
moved the rest of the way towards the sitting room where everyone was waiting.

I
walked in and everyone’s eyes shifted toward me. I knew it was time to put on
my leader pants and be strong. If I failed now, everyone in this room would
eventually fall. Personally, I felt that one person’s fall was more than
enough.

“We
need to find a place to make a stand. Somewhere in the open that will be easy
to defend. I will need help getting close to the demon, which means that any of
you Guardians with extra talents will have to transform, morph, suit-up,
whatever you call it. In my vision, it always happens somewhere near an
abandoned church. It is crumbling in the background and the gravestones are
worn from years of exposure. Do any of you know where this might be?”

“The
church, on the edge of the swamp. No one has been there in years. It’s super
creepy," Sena supplied. Everyone turned toward her at her last remark.
“What? It is," she huffed.

“Okay,
well that is where we need to be. So, what can we do to make that happen? Do
y’all have a pontoon boat hanging around somewhere? Is there a trail we can
take? How long will it take to get there?” I needed to keep moving, it was
working. No stopping now.

“Slow
down, Izzy. We will figure this all out. First, we must prepare the Guardians.”
My aunt reached for my hand.

“I
don’t have time to slow down and neither do any of you. It is coming, I can
feel it move closer with every breath I take. If we do nothing, if we do not
act soon, all of this struggle will be for nothing. Don’t make everything I’ve
gone through over the past few years be for nothing. Y’all have an hour to get
marked and then we are moving. I’m tired of waiting for my destiny to catch up
with me. I would rather go out and face it head on.”

“I
will do the markings," Aberto said, slipping out of existence only to pop
back in moments later with his tattooing implements.

“Izzy,
can I talk to you for a moment?” Kennan pulled me to the side of the room, away
from everyone’s prying eyes.

“What
is it?” I asked, afraid to truly look him in the eyes.

“When
this change comes, I won’t be myself. I don’t remember who I truly am. The rage
takes over, and all I can see is destruction. I don’t want your last memories
of me to be that.” Kennan looked pained. I knew how much he hated turning into
the beasty, but I also knew that we needed him.

“We
need you, Kennan. I know who you are. I know what you really are. In all of
your many forms, I know that you love me. I know that you will do what needs to
be done to help stop this. So, please, for me, do this," I begged.

“Just
remember, this is not who I truly am.”

“I
know, Kennan. Just like Conall isn’t really a wolf.” I looked up into his eyes,
trying to convey that I understood.

“Well,
he is kind of like a wild animal.” Kennan smiled in Conall’s direction. Aberto
was working on his mark as we watched.

“It’s
time, Kennan. We can’t keep delaying. I’m ready. You have to let me go," I
whispered so that only Kennan could hear.

“I
will never be able to let you go, but I will let you do what you feel you must.
I’m not going to hold you back, not anymore," Kennan promised, pulling me
close.

“I
love you, big guy.” I breathed in the smell of him, letting it soothe my
anxious soul.

“Love
you more, Red," he muttered, hugging me tightly. He placed a gentle kiss
on the top of my head, bringing back a thousand memories in the process.

I
pulled away, turning my back toward Kennan as I moved out of the room. Staying
there would weaken my resolve. They didn’t need me for the markings, so I
sought the comfort of the swamp. I walked towards the doors, thinking back on
the past few years and wondering at how much my life had changed. The dense
swamp air greeted me like a wet blanket as I moved outside. I walked to the
edge of the water and stared down, wondering at how easy it would be to end
everything now. I wouldn’t have to suffer any longer.

“Do
not let the darkness win.” My aunt’s voice drew me from my thoughts. “You are too
strong to let that happen.”

“I’m
not strong at all," I replied honestly.

“You
were chosen for a reason.” I turned toward my aunt, and I realized she was
channeling someone else.

“Uriel?” 

“You
are quite astute. The time is coming. You must be there," the angel’s
voice called out.

“How
will I know what to do?” I was terrified that I wouldn’t be enough. That when
the time came, I would fail.

“Things
will unfold as they must, and you will react. Do not think about what you must
do, for you will know when the time comes. Be brave, Izzy. The world needs you
in these coming hours.” Uriel seemed to believe in me, which made me all the
more nervous.

“No
pressure," I muttered.

“All
of the pressure. If you fail, so fails the world.” The jerky angel didn’t seem
to understand sarcasm at all.

“Sarcasm,
Uriel. Surely you’ve heard of it?”

“I
have.” Uriel’s voice began to fade, to be replaced by my aunt. “So, that’s who
that voice belongs to? Huh. Not at all who I would’ve guessed.”

My
aunt approached me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and pulling me close.
We stayed like that for what felt like a small eternity. Just breathing in the
thick air, listening to the sounds of the swamp.

“You
are a very brave girl, Izzy. Your mother would be very proud of you," Mona
said quietly.

“I
don’t feel brave. I feel selfish. I keep thinking of everything I don’t want to
leave. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to end my life. I don’t want to
die," I sobbed into her shoulder.

“Do
we ever really die? No, we live on in those we love. You will never truly die,
Izzy. What you do in the next hours will live on for an eternity.” My aunt held
me close, stroking my hair as my mother had done when I was young.

“But
I won’t be here. I won’t be able to marry Kennan. I won’t have children. I
won’t ever grow old. I won’t ever reach thirty. There is so much that I will
miss out on. I know I must do this. Ultimately, there is no other way. I just
wish that I’d had more time.” Every thought I’d kept to myself came rushing
out. I confessed to my aunt what I’d been afraid to tell anyone else.

“None
of us are ever guaranteed any amount of time. At least you know your day and
you can face it bravely. All will not be lost, Izzy. You will be reunited with
him one day," she promised.