Self Destruct (16 page)

Rebecca

“Hey girls.  Can I help?” I asked Toni and Kate, who were frantically preparing Thanksgiving dinner.  “Yeah, can you check to see if the turkey timer has popped?” Kate asked.  I grabbed the nearest potholder, and opened the oven.  The smell of roasting meat hit me, and I raced to bathroom to throw-up. 

Kate entered the bathroom behind me, and gently rubbed my back.  “How ya feelin’?”  I rinsed my mouth out and brushed my teeth.  “Uhh, I’ve been better.  Shouldn’t I be
better by now?” I asked. 

“Yeah," Kate looked down at her feet.
  "When was your last period?”  I thought for a second.  Shit, when was my last period?  “I guess it was three weeks ago.”  “You guess it was?” she pushed.  “It was, but it was really short,” I clarified.

She pursed her lips and tapped her finger against them, like she always did when she was working through a complicated problem.  “You have been through a lot of stress, and you haven’t been eating very well. 
You could be anemic.  I would like for you to get checked out to be sure.  Maybe we should go get a pregnancy test just to rule it out,” she suggested. 

“I suppose that would be a good idea.  But I’m on the pill and I'
ve taken it faithfully."  She patted me on the hand.  I knew she was humoring me, but I was glad she was taking charge and helping me figure out what was wrong with me.

“Hey Toni,” Kate shouted, “how long do we have until dinner is ready?”  “Probably another
two hours,” Toni hollered back. “Becca and I are going to make a run to the store.  Do you need anything?”  “Yeah, get some more wine,” Toni shouted back. 

"Wait we have everything we need," Toni said coming into the bathroom.  One look at my pale skin, and she came to the same conclusion Kate had.  "I'll get my coat."

The first few stores we tried to go to were closed.  I don’t know what we expected, since it was Thanksgiving.  We finally found a drug store that was open.  Kate started to drag me off to the family planning isle, when we saw Jake looking at condoms.  Looks like he moved on, thank God, now if he would just move along so I could die of embarrassment. 

“Hi Becca,” Jake greeted, and then realized what we were looking at.  Kate was holding two different brands of pregnancy tests
, and Toni was reading the back of another.  Jake’s brows drew together, and he stared at me like he could see a fetus growing in my stomach.  “So, uh, how are things?” he asked awkwardly. 

Kill me, kill me now.  Kate realized that I was getting embarrassed looking at pregnancy tests near someone I knew. 
Hell, if I see someone I know when I go to buy tampons I ditch them and come back later. 

Toni noticed the awkward silence, and saved Kate and me from our social unease. 
“Oh, uh these are mine.  Yep, Becca is a great friend.  I just have no idea which one to buy.  Not that she has experience with this.  No, not her, I mean she was a vir…” I pinched her to shut her up.  Mean I know, but it had to be done.

“Sorry,” she muttered.  “Aren’t you a nurse?” Jake asked
Kate.  "Couldn't you have taught your friends about birth control?"  He looked directly and me and gave me a sad smile. 

Bastard couldn’t
let me believe he bought Toni's horrible attempt at lying.  “I sure am.  And as a nurse I have to applaud your efforts to have safe sex,” she said, gesturing with a pregnancy test toward his box of condoms. 

Jake’s face turned red, and he laughed slightly.  “If only these were for me.  My dad started seeing a much younger woman, and I really don’t want any siblings that could be my children.”  “Oh no,” Kate gasped and giggled.  “Please tell me you aren’t buying rubbers for your dad!” 

They were both blushing and dragging out this humiliating encounter.  Hell’s bells they were hitting it off.  “So, Jake, if things get too uncomfortable you are welcome to join us for dessert.  Kate is off from the hospital tonight,” I hinted, and not very subtly.  “My younger brother is in town.  I wouldn’t want to leave him with the old man and the gold digger,” he declined.

“How much younger?”  I asked.  “He’s twenty-two.”  “Is he gay?”
Toni asked.  Finally she was picking up on my scheming.  “No,” Jake answered.  “Hey you never know,” I shrugged.

"Well, I have to get back to finish cooking.  Yep, it is just Kate, Becca, and me.  No single men to entertain me," Toni hinted strongly. 
“Ah I see.  So If I were to get fed up watching my dad mac on a thirty-year-old woman I should come over, and bring my brother?” Jake asked for clarification. 

“Now he gets it.  Kate, give the man your number while
we go pay for this,” Toni ordered.  I grabbed one of the boxes from her hands and left her to set a date.

Back in the car Kate shook her head, but I could tell she was happy.  “You
two are very proud of yourselves right now, aren’t you?” Kate scolded.  “Mmhmm, I boldly purchased a pregnancy test, and set you up with a very attractive and very sweet guy.”  Then it hit me again, I bought a pregnancy test.  Shit, I needed a pregnancy test.  Kate saw my face pale, and patted my shoulder reassuringly.

“
You wouldn’t mind if I went out with him?” Kate asked tentatively.  “No, I really wouldn’t.  He's a great guy. He just wasn’t the guy for me.  Maybe the two of you will hit it off.  We might have went out a few times, but there was never anything between us,” I assured.  “Really, nothing?  I mean look at him,” she sighed.  I chuckled. “We never even kissed.”

Kate
ran in and hid my pregnancy test, while Toni rushed to finish dinner.  I made it as far as the table, where Toni pointed for me to sit.

Kate opened a can of ginger ale and pushed it toward me.  I lifted an eyebrow at her, but took a drink without arguing. 

Toni, Kate and I suggested the guys go play football while we finished cooking.  Aiden’s dad showed up, as they were getting ready to leave.  I knew he was invited, but I didn’t expect he would actually leave Nadine to spend the holiday with us.

"The men are gone, time to go find out if you have a bun in the oven," Toni shooed me toward the bathroom.  "Really?  Cooking analogies?" Kate asked.  "Hush you.  Becca go, while we have the house to ourselves," Toni ordered. 

"I want to wait until later," I procrastinated.  "Why not now?" Kate asked, in agreement with Toni.  "I want to talk to Aiden, and have him there with me," I explained. 

Kate shrugged.  "Makes sense to me," she said.  "Fine, but you are doing this today," Toni said, pointing her finger at me emphatically.  She stuck the test back in its hiding spot in the linen closet, and we went back to pretending nothing was wrong.

Just before dinner was ready four very sweaty men came back from the park.  “Did you have fun?” I asked Aiden.  “This is the best Thanksgiving I have ever had,” Aiden professed. 

“We haven’t even eaten yet,” I pointed out.  He kissed me, once softly on the lips.  “Doesn’t matter,” he muttered, against my mouth.  “I have you, which makes
this the best Thanksgiving ever.” 

“Have you eaten today?” he inquired.  I nodded.  “Were you able to keep anything down?” he pressed.  I stared at him in shock.  What did he know?  I shook my head no.  Aiden pressed his forehead into my neck and took a deep breath.  “You aren’t making yourself sick are you?” he asked, with his lips vibrating against my skin. 

“What?  You think I’m making myself sick?  I take it you haven’t imagined any other alternative?” I fumed.  “Like what?” he asked.  I reached into Kate’s bag and pulled out the second pregnancy test.  You know, in case the first turned purple instead of blue or pink. 

Aiden exhaled like he was relieved. 
Weird.  “Oh thank God!” he exclaimed.  I reached my hand out and touched his forehead.  “I was afraid you were coming down with some horrible disease, or…” he trailed off. 

“Or I was purposefully hurting myself?” I challenged.  “Sorry Red.  I know I’ve been driving you crazy, but I just can’
t imagine living without you.”

We hid the box in our room and had dinner. 
As soon as everyone else slipped into a food coma, Aiden and I disappeared into our room so that I take the pregnancy test. 

We talked about everything and nothing waiting the endless three minutes for the test results.  His cell timer went off, and I went to look at the test.  I went for the easiest test to read
of the two kinds I bought.  It would read “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant,” pretty simple.  I looked over and it said “Not Pregnant.” 

I showed it to Aiden.  “That’s good right?” I asked.  He shrugged.  “Yeah, except, if you aren’t pregnant what has been making you so sick?”

“I’ll schedule a doctor’s appointment on Monday,” I promised.  “I love you Becca.  I’m probably going to annoy the shit out of you until we know what is making you sick.” 

“You're sweet, not annoying,” I said and yawned.  “Go to sleep, you might not be pregnant, but you have been sick.  You need rest.”  He kissed me on the head, and snuggled me next to his side until I fell asleep.

Aiden

I rubbed Becca's arm. 
“Wake up Red.  Time to get ready for class.” “I hate Mondays,” she whined.  “I know Becca, but you have class, and you need to make a doctor’s appointment before you go.” 

She started moaning.  Suddenly she jerked upright, threw the covers off, and ran for the bathroom.  I pulled her hair away from her face, and slowly rubbed a circle on her back.  “Maybe you should stay home today,” I suggested.  “Can’t, quiz,” she replied, swallowing hard trying to stop puking. 

I scooped her up and gently placed her back in the middle of our bed.  I went and brought her more ginger ale, and carefully sat down next to her.  I grabbed my phone off of my nightstand, and dialed campus directory. 

Becca’s insurance was barely better than the state policy, and we had a really good school clinic.  I called the front desk, and thankfully they allowed me to make her an appointment.

I really wanted to talk her out of going to class, but she was too stubborn to see reason.  “At least stay home from work,” I argued.  “If the doctor tells me I need to stay in and rest, I will.  Promise,” she conceded.  “If that is the best deal I’m gonna get, I’ll take it,” I agreed.

I leaned against the car drinking a cup of coffee waiting for her to step outside.  “Aiden you
don’t have to take me to school,” she said.  I opened the passenger door to my car.  “Just get in stubborn.”

I expected an argument.  I was learning Becca liked to take care of herself.  As much as I wanted to look after her, spoil her, and protect her
, Becca was determined to stand on her own.  It was extremely frustrating, but I also loved that about her.

“What are you going to do while I’m in class?  You only have one clas
s today, and it isn’t for hours,” Becca asked.  I tipped her face up with my index finger and gave her a gentle kiss.  “I’d wait forever for you.  One hour is nothing,” I answered.

Jake was waiting for Becca when we walked up to the Language and Literature building.  My jaw clenched, but Jake didn’t seem to notice my irr
itation, probably because it disappeared almost as soon as he started talking.

“Hey Becca, do you know when Kate’s day off is?  I called her the other day and left a message, but I haven’t heard f
rom her.”  Before I was with Becca, I might have laughed, and called him a pussy.  Looking down at the fiery temptress standing next to me I could understand the desperation to see, touch, or just talk to one particular girl. 

B
ecca laughed lightly. “She works nights. She's on almost every weekend, and Monday nights too.  She will be off the rest of the week, but she will be tired and trying to catch up on homework tomorrow.”  Jake nodded, seemingly relieved.

“I like him with Kate.  He'
s a nice guy,” I said when he entered the building.  “It doesn’t have anything to do with the fact he is no longer interested in me, does it?” Becca teased.  “It sure as hell doesn’t hurt,” I answered honestly.

Waiting
an hour for Becca wasn’t hard.  I went next door to the library and got quite a bit of reading done. I made it back a few minutes early to sneak a cigarette.  I had mostly quit the habit, but stress made me relapse.  The last few weeks with my family, former friend, ex-girlfriend, and Becca being sick were wearing me thin.  If I hadn’t felt the need to grab a smoke I might have missed what happened next.

I saw two men in department store suits, trying to figure out which door to enter in the ground floor courtyard of
the Language building.  I’m from Seattle, and I don’t usually approach strangers.  Something about these two though made me anxious enough to check them out.  “Can I help you?” I asked.  “Uh, do you know where we might find the English Department?” one of the men asked. 

“Yeah, it'
s upstairs.  Which professor are you looking for?” I pushed.  “We are trying to locate a student actually.  We only know she attends this university, and is an English major,” the other suit answered. 

“I know a lot of English majors.  Maybe I can help,” I offered.  Inside
, my mind was screaming that they were looking for Becca.  I intended to find out why before they found her.

“We are looking for a junior,
Rebecca Scott, do you know her?” one of the men asked.  “I do actually,” I said without giving them any information. 

Shit!  “What did you want with her?” I asked, fighting my unease.  “That is information we are only authorized to discuss with Miss Scott,” suit number two huffed.  “Well, too bad.  You see
Miss Scott
is my fiancée and I’m not very inclined to letting you near her unless you tell me what the fuck you want,” I seethed.

The first suit, obviously sent to play good cop, answered me.  “Miss Scott has been listed as a witness for the prosecution in criminal case against Dr. Vincent James in Pueblo, Colorado.  We need to interview her to prepare our defense strategy.”

“Thank you for your honesty.  Give me your card, and I will talk to her.  I’ll be honest with you in return.  If there is any legal way to prevent her from talking to you I am going to help her find it,” I told him.  Suit number two’s head snapped up.  I’d pissed him off.  Good, because I was going to protect Becca from every hurt I could, even old ones.

“Listen here, our client has a legal right to address his accusers.  Miss Scott will make herself available to answer our questions, and we expect her to do so today.  Why don’t you do her a favor and just give us her number?”
suit number two bullied.

I laughed.  “You two must think I’m fucking stupid.  No
, I’m not going to give you her number.  We will contact the prosecutor and get instructions from her.” 

“Mr… I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name,” suit one said.  “I didn’t give it,” I answered simply.  Suit two opened his mouth to spew more bullshit, and I raised my hands to stop him. 

“As nice as this chat has been I have an appointment with my professor.  If you aren’t going to give me your contact information then I don’t have anything else to say.” 

I
ran up the stairs.  I wanted to intercept Becca before she came down.  I planned to take her out the opposite wing to keep her away from those two parasites. 

On my way up the stairs I stopped into the History Department and reported two suspicious men loitering in the courtyard.  I was prepared to tell Becca a small part of the truth, lying
to her was out of the question. But I wouldn't tell her anything until after her doctor’s appointment. 

When she came out the classroom she
looked pale and tired.  I didn’t have to use an excuse to lead her the direction I wanted her to go.  I was getting pissed she kept fighting me about going to school and work.  She was obviously too sick to even sit through one class.  I didn’t want to piss her off, but I wanted to make sure the doctor knew how sick she had been lately.

“Can I come in to your appointment with you?” I asked.  She nodded weakly.  “As long as the doctor doesn’t stop you.”  “Are you ok?” I asked concerned.  “I’m so tired I don’t know how I’m even moving,” she admitted. 

When we got to the edge of the parking lot I swept her up into my arms.  “Aiden,” she protested feebly.  “Red, for once just let me take care of you,” I demanded.  “Ok,” she gave in. 

S
he was letting me take care of her.  She would probably still fight me about going to class and work.  I didn't expect her to give in completely, but it was a compromise that could work for us.