Semper Fidelis (14 page)

A few minutes later, he drifted off, Cary a solid reality against him.

I’m the luckiest man in the world.

Chapter Four

The knock at the door came, and Cary grinned as he jumped to his feet and rushed across the room. Owen was there at last. He couldn’t wait to see his face, to reassure himself that he was okay.

Cary yanked the door open and froze. A state trooper stood there instead of Owen, hat tucked under his arm.

“Mr. Barrientos?”

“Yes?”
No. No no no no no… This isn’t happening
.

“I’m sorry.” The trooper had somehow changed into a Navy chaplain. He held out his hand and Cary looked down to see the dog tags on his palm. As he watched, they slipped through his fingers. He tried to catch them but missed, then he was falling…

“Owen!”

“Cary!”

Cary snapped awake and struggled for a moment against the firm grip on his upper arms. Then he blinked. “Owen.” He lunged upward, and Owen pulled him against his muscular, sleep-warm chest.

God, the fucking dreams still.
He’d thought they’d be over now that Owen was back in the States.

“Are you okay? You were tossing around then you yelled my name. Scared the crap out of me.”

He drew in a deep breath then exhaled hard, trying to let go of the tension. “Sorry. Must’ve been a bad dream.”

Owen reached behind him and turned off the light that he must have switched on when Cary had woken him up. “What was it about?”

“I…” About to say he didn’t remember, he found he couldn’t lie to Owen. “It was just another dream.” He winced. Hopefully Owen hadn’t caught his slip.

“Care…”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Just want to go back to sleep.”

Owen rolled him onto his side then curled up behind him as the big spoon. “Yes, well, if that was ‘another dream’, that means you’ve been having them before this. Talk to me,” he whispered, running his hand along Cary’s thigh then up his hip to his side.

“I said no!” That came out much sharper than Cary had intended.

Owen didn’t move, but Cary sensed his withdrawal.
Fuck
. He didn’t know what to do. He did
not
want to talk about his nightmares because saying them out loud, especially to Owen, felt as though it would somehow give them weight.

Worse than that, though, was the unfamiliar tension crowding them out of the bed at the moment. They had very seldom fought before and never over anything important. Cary had always considered them lucky and figured it was because they had so little time together and petty things didn’t seem to matter. So this felt horrible, especially on Owen’s first night home…

Cary groaned and turned over.

Damn it. He’s home, safe, and there are no guarantees in life. But he’s here, dumbass, and you’re ruining it
, he scolded himself.

“I’m sorry.” He ran a hand along Owen’s stubbled cheek. In the ambient light from the window, Owen’s expression looked more concerned than angry, and that gave him the courage to continue. “I
have
been having bad dreams,” he admitted. “Quite a few.”

Owen made a slight hum Cary took as encouragement to continue. It only made him feel guiltier.

No kidding. Why would he want to ask any questions after you yelled at him? Let’s get this over with so the poor guy can go back to sleep.

“I mean, they’re probably nothing different than anyone with a loved one serving overseas has.” He shrugged. “You know—the bad outcome kind.”

He could see Owen deciding what to say next. “How long have these been happening?” he finally asked.

Cary blew out a breath. “Almost since you deployed the first time.”

Owen’s eyebrows drew together. “Jesus, Care. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What purpose would that have served? ‘Hi—good to hear your voice, especially since I dreamed you died last night.’ Not exactly a great conversation for someone in the war zone.”

“Well, I’m not there anymore. I’m right here.”

“Yeah. I know that, but apparently my subconscious doesn’t because…” He trailed off. “I really thought they’d stop once you were home.” His voice was a whisper of emotion.

“Shh.” Owen gathered him in again. “I’m glad you told me. I kept thinking there was something bothering you, and if it was bad dreams…well, that’s better than some of the causes
my
mind conjured up.” He gave a light laugh then smoothed Cary’s hair. “They’ll go away. That busy brain of yours will catch on soon.” He ruffled what he’d just fixed. “And speaking of busy, we have a lot to do tomorrow. Morning sex, marriage license, couch sex, get pizza, meet with the chaplain, blow jobs…” Despite his graphic to-do list, he kissed Cary with a tenderness that made his breath short.

“Yeah. Though if you want me to go to sleep, you should stop talking about sex.”

“All right, fine. Go to sleep. And no more dreams.”

Owen’s words were firm and comforting. Cary only hoped it would be that easy.

* * * *

As long as Owen was there, Cary was trying to take advantage of his presence, from helping make the myriad wedding planning decisions, to straddling him on the couch and teasing until Owen demonstrated his strength by carrying him off to bed. It was after that bout that they lay back out in the living room on the couch, one at each end with their legs entwined as they went over details.

“Why do we have to do this pre-marital test thing again?” Owen grumbled. “I probably know you better than ninety percent of couples that this chaplain has married. Even if you don’t count the fact that we’ve made a long distance relationship work for almost five damn years, we lived together for four years before
that
.”

Cary laughed and rubbed at Owen’s shoulder with his sock-encased foot. “It’s supposed to show us areas that we need to discuss. Considering how relatively last minute everything has come together and how accommodating the chaplain has been for us, I don’t mind indulging him. He didn’t make us do counseling, and he’s not going to even look at this. It’s for us to use.”

Owen sat up, dislodging Cary’s foot. “He’s not? Well, why the hell are we doing it then?”

“So I can tell him we completed it when he asks. And before you say it”—Cary held up a hand—“no, I’m not going to lie to a chaplain.”

Owen lay back down. “I wasn’t going to say we should lie to him.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Hey.” Owen gave him a quelling look then theatrically searched the paper in his hand. “Hmm, where was that question about whether it’s acceptable to lie to your spouse?”

“Page four,” Cary played along, enjoying the teasing back-and-forth. It was one of the things he missed the most when Owen was gone. He sighed. And soon he’d be gone again. Only for a couple of weeks, but still.

“What was the big sigh for?” Owen sat up then snatched Cary’s papers and pen from his hand and set them all aside. “Let’s finish this on the phone some night.”

Cary debated for all of a second. “Okay, but we do need to talk about a few more things.” He grabbed his cell phone and opened up the app he’d been using to keep track of all the details.

“Jesus. You’re not turning into Groomzilla, are you?”

“How do you even know about that? And no—most of it’s either done or not gonna get done.” They’d had to keep some things very simple to fit the time crunch—no flowers, a basic cake, phone and email invitations instead of engraved—but other things had gotten exponentially bigger…like the guest list. With Owen’s unit a short distance away and the wedding right at the start of their leave, many of his friends wanted to come up. And of course, Cary’s squadron was right here in town, so a lot of the officers and a few of the enlisted flight crew men and women he was closest to had gotten invites, along with both of their commanding officers. Then there was Owen’s huge, local family—that was double digits just for them.

“Now that the date is set, do you want to call Mike and Jared, or should I?” Their two closest friends from the Academy were stationed in Florida and California, respectively. It was very possible they wouldn’t be able to make it, but Cary wouldn’t feel right not at least putting the option out there.

Owen thought for a few seconds. “I can call them. I have less to do than you once I get back down to Lejeune.”

“Okay, cool. And we’ve been telling people service dress blues. Or I guess for you guys it would be blue dress.”

“Ha ha. Yeah. You’re getting mine pressed, right?”

“Yes, I’ll take it in with mine.” Owen had left it with Cary before his last deployment, and had arranged for Cary to get his new rank insignia after his promotion to Captain earlier this year. He hadn’t dreamt at the time that Owen would be wearing it to their wedding. “If I don’t get the swords and shoes polished ahead of time, we can do them together after you get here. It’ll be like old times.”

“Oh!”

The sudden exclamation was so out of character for Owen that Cary’s jaw dropped. “What?”

To Cary’s shock, Owen flushed. “Um, well, you mentioned swords and that reminded me of something I thought of while I was still overseas. Something I want for the wedding.”

Cary stared at Owen. He couldn’t possibly be thinking…

“I’d really like to walk under an arch of sabers with you after the ceremony. I just…really like the tradition and it’s…it’s…” Owen looked everywhere but at Cary.

“It’s pretty romantic.”

“Shut up.”

“It is. You’ve been thinking about this for—what?—a month now?” He would never have thought Owen would even go along with something so splashy and visible, much less be the one to suggest it. Owen was nearly brick red and not speaking, so Cary decided to give him a break. He touched his upper leg. “I think it’s a great idea. We’ll have to tell some of the guys to bring their swords. How many make up an arch, anyway?”

Owen searched his face as though to check if he was teasing, then answered, “Six or eight are okay, I think. Even numbers, of course.”

“So who were you thinking? Besides Jare and Mike, if they can make it.”

As they settled back, discussing the logistics, Cary couldn’t stop looking at Owen’s face, eating up every moment together before they were separated again.

Chapter Five

The sunrise on the day of their wedding was beautiful, and Owen knew that because he couldn’t sleep. He’d eased from the warmth of Cary’s side, not wanting his tossing and turning to wake him, and sat looking over the dunes to the ocean, sipping coffee on the deck of the beachfront vacation rental his parents had surprised them with for part of their wedding gift. They’d booked it for the week, starting the day before yesterday. So they’d hosted an impromptu almost all-night poker party two nights ago in lieu of a bachelor party and had let most of the out-of-town guys crash there since there were five bedrooms.

Last night had been the rehearsal and dinner, which Cary’s mom had arranged at a local restaurant. Thankfully, they’d had a much earlier night and everyone had returned to their own hotels and homes at a reasonable time.

Owen smiled into his mug as he thought back to the night before. Some wedding traditions he enjoyed, but he was fervently glad that he and Cary were in agreement that being separate the night before the wedding ceremony was a stupid one. They’d made slow love into the night and relished every moment together before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

Perfect start to the most important day of their lives.

“More coffee?”

Owen turned and raised his eyebrows at the sight of Cary, wrapped in a blanket and carrying the carafe of coffee. “Good morning. You’re up early. Sure—I’ll take some more.” He held out a hand to take the carafe and grinned when he saw that Cary also had an empty mug for himself hooked on his pinkie finger. He took that too then set them down on the table before tugging Cary into his arms, sprawling partially on his lap. “Couldn’t sleep? You didn’t have one of your nightmares, did you?”

“No, thank God. Just a lot going through my head,” Cary admitted and shifted around until he was leaning against Owen with the blanket over both of them.

“Don’t worry about today. We have a kazillion people on our side who will help the day go smoothly. Besides—I’m kind of hoping something goes wrong.”

Cary stared at him, mouth agape. “What the hell is wrong with you? You’re tempting fate and you’re going to jinx us! Why would you say that?”

Owen laughed. “It’s the little hiccups that you remember, not everything being perfect. I mean, I don’t want the roof to collapse or a SWAT raid on the reception or anything, but a couple memorable mistakes would be cool.”

“You are so weird,” Cary muttered as he topped off Owen’s mug and filled his own. “I can’t believe I’m marrying you.”

“Me either,” Owen said softly and bent to kiss him.

* * * *

“Oh.” The feminine gasp came from behind Cary and he grinned as he turned around, arms spread.

“Well? How do I look?”

His mom crossed the room to him and unnecessarily fussed with his jacket before smoothing a hand along his fresh haircut. “So handsome—and so happy.” Tears welled in her eyes and he gave her a big hug.

“You look beautiful.” He looked her up and down. The light green dress and matching jacket she wore perfectly suited her strawberry-blonde coloring. “Thanks for the nice dinner last night, by the way. Everyone had a great time.” He turned back to the mirror and studied his uniform again. “Where’s Jia?”

“She’s over on Owen’s side taking some pictures with her good camera.”

Cary rolled his eyes. “We hired a photographer to do that sort of thing.”

“Well, you know your sister. I’m sure she’ll be in here soon to do the same with y—” The door opened. “Oh, here she is now.”

The shutter clicked at a crazy speed about a dozen times before Jia appeared from behind the lens. “Okay, Mom—go look like you’re helping with his jacket or something. Fix his collar. Oh! I know. Hand him his hat. Slowly.”