Shackled: A Stepbrother Romance Novel (8 page)

Once I finally came down from my post-orgasm high, the realization that we had sex without a condom finally hit me. Jonathan eased my legs down and flopped onto the bed beside me while I silently chided myself for my stupidity. I was still on the pill and he thankfully had the presence of mind to pull out, but this was just another shining example of how blinded I was when it came to Jonathan.

“Shit. That was even better than I thought it’d be,” he said wistfully, ending with a low chuckle before he rolled on his side to face me. His fingers stroked my cheek while I stared blankly up at the ceiling, trying to sort through my tangled emotions. “Fiona?”

“Hmm?”

When I refused to look at him, he moved again, propping himself on an elbow and hovering over me. He frowned down at me questioningly, still softly stroking my cheek.

“Hey. You all right?”

“Never better,” I lied.

Well, it wasn’t
entirely
a lie. My body was more satisfied than it had ever been and there were still pleasant tingles of aftershocks running through my veins. But emotionally?

I was a total fucking wreck.

The soft strokes of his thumb along my cheek stopped and he turned my chin to face him. There was something in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before and it took a long moment before I finally figured out what it was. Apprehension.

Uh-oh.

“I’ve been waiting for the right moment to tell you something, and I don’t know if I’ll get a better one than this before we leave,” he said softly, gazing into my eyes so lovingly that I could already feel the dread coiling in my stomach.

I opened my mouth to interrupt him, but he placed a finger over my lips, effectively silencing me.

“I know there’s nothing I can say that will change what I did, but you deserve to know that I do love you. Always have, always will. So if you think there’s even a chance that you might be able to forgive me... then I’ll wait for as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

There they were. The words I had been
desperate
to hear come out of his mouth only a few short months ago, laid out on the line right after I had decided to fuck my feelings for him out of my system.

To call this a backfire would be the biggest understatement of my life.

A
fter telling
Fiona that I loved her, I watched in horror as the entire spark drained from her eyes before she abruptly slammed them closed and turned away. There was a long,
painful
moment of silence that was only broken when she quietly asked me to leave.

I obliged her request without protest. Not because I was willing to give up yet, but because I was smart enough to realize that she needed space. Even
I
knew that pushing her now would do more harm than good.

When Fiona started warming up to me today, I had been desperately hoping that she’d been making an effort to forgive me. But now, after gauging her reactions both during and after sex, I finally figured out exactly what she had been trying to accomplish.

She’d thought that fucking me would provide the final piece of closure she needed to move on. From the very first smile she gave me this morning, every move she made had been calculated—just a part of her plan for a quick fuck before she took off. A one time deal to get me to unlock the shackle and let her go.

And it hurt like a bitch.

Especially since I hadn’t figured it out until
after
I’d laid my heart on the line.

“
Fuck
,” I hissed, running my hands through my hair as I paced back and forth in the living room.

Nothing about this weekend was going right. I was
supposed
to chain us together and wear down her resistance, waiting until she finally realized that regardless of how badly I’d fucked up, we were still a perfect match. Then she’d forgive me and we’d spend the rest of the weekend naked, fucking on every available surface in this cabin.

I was
not
supposed to unchain her and make love to her. I was
not
supposed to lay it all on the line like that unless I was damn sure that she was going to reciprocate.

Playing dumb wouldn’t take back what I’d said. Even though I’d meant every word of it, I felt like a total fucking idiot for admitting my feelings only to watch her turn away from me moments later.

Now I really do know how she felt.

I growled at my own thoughts and began to pull harshly at my hair.
No.
It wasn’t supposed to play out like this. She was supposed to say the words back, say she forgave me, and then we’d make love again. I’d be slower—more tender—try to show her with my body how much I had missed her. How much I needed her here with me.

But that option wasn’t on the table anymore. Now I needed a new plan.

A
better
plan, because my first one was obviously shit.

I plopped down on the couch as I started mulling through my options, trying to figure out the best way to proceed. Regardless of how badly I wanted to rectify my mistake, I knew it likely wasn’t going to happen here at the cabin. We only had one more day and night together before Dad and Leslie came out to take us back to the house.

The only option I really had at this point was to go along with however she wanted to play this. If she wanted nothing to do with me, I’d leave her alone. If she wanted to pretend like it had never happened, I’d go with it.

But I needed to make some sort of grand gesture before she went back to college. Otherwise, I’d be stuck back home at the shop, constantly wondering whether I could have fixed things if I had tried just a little harder.

I would have preferred to fix things at the cabin where we had some privacy, but if she needed the space, I’d just have to find some way to show her what she meant to me with our parents lurking around. It’d be tricky, but I would find a way. I was fucking determined.

Regrets weren’t something I was fond of having. So I promised myself not to let her slip away again without a fight.

T
he next day
passed easily enough thanks to Jonathan allowing me to remain unchained and alone. The only time he bothered me was to ask if I was hungry, and he let me be without argument every time I shook my head while steadfastly refusing to look at him.

I should have been relieved to be left alone and called Brenda to come pick me up. After all, it’s not like I was doing anything productive with my time here by avoiding Jonathan.

But I couldn’t bring myself to dial her number. I was too caught up in everything that had happened since we arrived. Jonathan had not only said he was sorry—words I’d never heard him say to anyone—but also confessed to loving me.

Why couldn’t he have figured that out months ago? Before everything between us had been so completely shattered.

After hours of thinking back on everything that we’d gone through since arriving at the cabin, along with our history together—both the good and the bad—I was still no closer to figuring out whether or not I honestly believed I could ever forgive him for so thoroughly breaking my heart.

When the sun started to set and it was time for dinner, he came into the room to ask if I wanted to eat. I could sense his frustration from being avoided for the entire day and a small part of me took a bit of pleasure from his sour mood.

“Hungry yet?”

“Nope.”

But my stomach called my bluff, choosing that moment to let out an embarrassingly loud rumble. I glanced over at his face just in time to catch the annoyed eye roll.

“Just eat with me, Fiona. One meal in my presence won’t fucking kill you.”

I begged to differ, but my hunger won out over my pride. I reluctantly followed him into the kitchen and sat down at the table, digging into the stack of pancakes he placed in front of me a moment later.

Even though I didn’t want to talk to him, the politeness my mother instilled in me demanded that I at least thank him for making dinner.

“I didn’t know you could make pancakes,” I said between bites, wincing a little as my attempt at thanking him came out a whole lot harsher than intended.

Jonathan laughed it off though, uncaring about the sarcastic tone lacing my words. “The box just said to add water. It was easy enough.”

“Oh. Well, I’m surprised you didn’t burn any.”

I sensed him lean forward over the table and looked up out of habit, gulping when I saw the playful grin on his face. The movement of his hands drew my attention down to his plate, where he was lifting a pancake up to show me the nearly blackened one beneath it.

“Took me a few tries to get it right. Don’t worry though, I let you have the pretty ones,” he admitted with an easygoing smile as he reached for the syrup. “Do you want a drink? There’s juice in the fridge.”

I opened my mouth to decline, but he was already standing up and moving to get us both glasses. When he held up a carton of apple juice in one hand and orange in the other, I sighed in resignation and said, “Apple.”

“That’s my girl.” Jonathan said with a grin before shoving the orange juice back into the fridge with a grunt of distaste.

I let the comment slide, but my pulse still quickened. It was something he said even when we were just friends—something that always made me melt. Did he have any idea what I would have given back then to actually
be
his girl? I would’ve done anything he asked for. Given him
everything
.

Now the question that was begging to be answered was—Did I
still
want to be his girl? Past mistakes and all the bullshit drama be damned?

He gently placed the juice in front of me on the table before looking up, his smile melting into a look of concern as he asked, “Are you all right?”

When I dared a look into his eyes and saw how genuinely worried he was, I realized that—yes. On some level, I
did
want to be his girl. I wanted his apologies and the declarations of love. I wanted to allow him to make amends and eventually forgive him. Or at least try to.

“I’m fine,” I whispered when I noticed that he was moving around the table to my side, still waiting for a response.

He crouched down in front of me and reached a hand up to touch my cheek. I couldn’t hold back my slight wince and I immediately regretted it once the pain flashed across his face.

“You look a little pale, I was just checking to see if you were warm,” he explained as he raised both palms in the air and started to stand back up.

Without thinking about my actions or the consequences, I hopped up and slung my arms around his shoulders. His eyes widened with surprise even as his own arms went around my waist to steady me. I hooked a leg over his hip and he caught on immediately, letting a palm slide beneath my ass so he could lift me up and place me on the table.

His lips began to form a question—one I was sure I didn’t want to answer yet—so I covered his mouth with my palm and whispered, “I missed you.”

Jonathan’s eyes drifted shut for a brief moment and I could feel his lips curving into a smile beneath my hand. I removed my palm and returned his happy grin, already beginning to feel a new sense of lightness as I let go of some of my anger.

That’s when I realized that forgiveness was something we
both
needed for very different reasons. He needed a second chance and I needed to let go of the past before I let it run my entire life. It might take some time, but I was willing to try. For him, for me—for
us
.

“Jonathan?”

“Yes, baby?”

I arched my body as close to him as I could get without falling off the table and craned my head up to whisper against his lips.

“
Make me forget.
”

“
M
ake me forget
.
”

I kissed her then—hell bent on doing exactly as she asked. Logically, I knew using sex as a distraction wasn’t going to be a viable long-term solution, but I wasn’t going to pass an opportunity like this up. Not when she was so hungry for me. There’d be plenty of time for talking after.

“I’ll make you forget,” I panted after I pulled away for air. I reached down and yanked her top up, throwing it somewhere behind me before doing the same thing with her bra. “I’ll make you
mine
.”

She gasped my name when I bent down and sucked hard on one of her nipples, arching her back in a vain attempt to get more of my mouth on her. I groaned and lifted my hand to the other side, twisting and pinching the stiff peak nearly hard enough to hurt. When she cried out, I pulled away and used my tongue to soothe the ache, smiling against her when she let out a soft mewl of pleasure.

I looked up at her flushed face and smiled, silently wishing that this wouldn’t be the last time I got the chance to see her like this.

But just in case it was—I decided to make it memorable. For both of us.

“My gorgeous girl,” I murmured as I ran my hands up the soft skin of her body until I reached her cheeks. I gripped them tightly when she tried to look away, forcing her to look into my eyes. Once her gaze was locked with mine, I heatedly whispered, “
I love you.
”

Then I clashed our lips together, effectively cutting off whatever response she was going to give. How she felt about me loving her didn’t matter at the moment. All that mattered was that she wanted me.

Desperately
, if I had to guess by the way her hands started harshly pulling at the waistband of my jeans.

I broke the kiss to tug off her pajama bottoms as she continued to work on my jeans, easily undoing the zipper and setting my cock free. I pushed them the rest of the way down my hips and kicked them off, sending them sliding against the hardwood floor. After pulling my shirt over my head, I retook my place between her legs.

With a cocky grin, I gripped her hips and pulled her ass to the edge of the table before holding her thighs at my hips. She hooked her ankles together behind my back and leaned back on one elbow, using her other hand to reach between us and guide the swollen head of my cock to her pussy.

When I felt the wet heat brush against me, I couldn’t fight the need to thrust any longer. I pushed forward—burying myself to the hilt immediately. Fiona’s head fell back as she propped herself up on the table with both elbows, bracing herself while I pulled out and slammed back in.

“Oh my
god
,” she groaned, her chest rising and falling heavily. “Jonathan!”

My eyes were locked on her tits and the way they bounced as I pumped harder and faster into her—completely lost in the sensation and unable to focus on anything except for her body and the delicious noises she made while I pounded her.

In her bed the night before, I had made love to her. It was sweet and loving and truly incredible.

But this? This was a
fuck
. And she
loved
it.

“Harder, harder!” she begged, digging her heels into the small of my back in an attempt to force me back into her tight heat.

In the back of my mind, I knew that the grip I had on her hips must have been hurting her. But she continued to edge me on and I thrusted harder and faster until I could feel the tension beginning to coil at the base of my spine. I gritted my teeth together and tried to block out the sounds of her breathless voice begging for more—begging to make her come—the noises only pulling me closer to bliss far more quickly than I wanted.

The harder I went, the louder she got. I let go of her hips to pull her up and bring her lips to mine. I sucked on her tongue each time I thrust inside her, although trying to focus on the kiss made the speed of my hips slow. By the time we broke apart, she brokenly begged me to speed back up again.

My cock was beginning to throb with the need to come and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold back. I pulled out and tightly gripped the head to stave it off, smiling in spite of the slight pain when Fiona made the sweetest sound of disappointment before she looked at me questioningly.

“Get off the table,” I demanded, lifting her off the table and spinning her around before she even had a chance to voice a protest. “Bend over for me, baby.”

She made a small noise of surprise when I pushed her over, pressing her breasts hard against the wooden table before I pulled at her hips and lifted her ass to my gaze. I dropped to my knees and pushed my mouth to her core—grinning when she let out a loud shout of surprise.

“What—
Oh my god
, what are you doing? Fuck me!” she breathlessly demanded.

Even though my cock throbbed at her words, I wasn’t going to give in to her. Not yet at least. I was determined to have a few minutes outside the ecstasy of her walls, ensuring that I’d be able to make her come before I did.

Because
fuck
—being inside her was already mind-blowing and taking her from behind was just going to make it even harder for me to last.

So I buried my tongue into her pussy, groaning at the taste of her. If I hadn’t already known it before, it would have become clear to me right then. I’d
never
get enough of her, no matter how many times I had her.

Her hips shifted around aimlessly, pushing her ass back in a blatant attempt to get more of the pleasure I was giving her. With my other hand, I reached around her thigh until I got a good angle on her clitoris and began to rub it in quick, hard circles.

“
Yes!
” she cried, followed by a loud thump as her forehead hit the table. “Don’t stop, don’t stop. It’s so good.”

I moaned against her core in agreement, keeping up the attention on her clit while I thrust my tongue in and out. I kept going until I could see her legs start to shake, signaling just how close to the edge she was.

Then I abruptly pulled back, stood up, and slammed myself back inside before she even had the chance to look back at me.

Home sweet home
, I thought as her warmth enveloped me.

Fiona cried out in ecstasy when I started to fuck her again, pumping into her so hard that the kitchen table started sliding across the floor. I took a slight step forward to regain leverage and tipped my head back, allowing my eyes to fall shut as I concentrated on nothing but the sensations.

I must have been hitting her g-spot perfectly, if the scream of satisfaction as she came was any indication. I ground my teeth together as I fought to fuck her through her orgasm while holding off my own, wanting to get every last bit of pleasure out of her body before I ultimately had to stop.

Lasting through the milking sensation of her pussy around my cock was both heaven and hell and when the pulses of her walls finally started to die down, I pulled out and worked my hand frantically over my cock. I leaned forward to brace myself up on the table as I spilled on her ass and back, a guttural groan rising from my throat when I looked down to watch as I coated her flawless skin with my cum.

“Fuck.
Fuckkkk
,” I groaned when my dick finally stopped spurting. When the last of the pulses subsided, I let go of my cock and backed up until I found the chair that had been hastily shoved away when we started and flopped down. Fiona was still leaning over the table and trying to get her breathing under control when I breathed out, “You’re amazing.”

Without so much as a glance back at me, she straightened herself and dryly stated, “I’m also filthy. I’m going to take a shower.”

I frowned as she started to leave, not even bothering to pick up her discarded clothes. Had I done something wrong?
She
was the one who instigated this. Just as I was about to open my mouth and demand an explanation, she stopped at the doorway of the kitchen.

“And thanks. For the pancakes,” she quickly added, then paused as a blush crept onto her cheeks. “And everything else.”

Then she was gone.

By the time the water turned on, I was still sitting butt ass naked in the chair, puzzled over her abrupt departure. I could only guess that she was embarrassed by the way she had acted and while I could certainly understand that, I completely disagreed with it. She had no reason to be shy or embarrassed around me.
Ever.

Then again, maybe she just felt like she needed the shower. I
had
made quite a mess of her backside.

Just the thought of how her ass looked when I covered her made my cock twitch against my thigh and I wondered how Fiona would react if I joined her in the shower for round two. At least I’d be able to clean up any mess I made right away.

But the wiser part of me knew she wouldn’t appreciate it. Even though we had obviously made some kind of breakthrough, I didn’t want to push my luck. Yet.

So I forced myself to get out of the chair and pick up all of our clothing, opting only to put on my boxers and throw the rest of the lot into the laundry bag that we kept by the front door. When I came back into the kitchen and glanced around, I realized that fucking her on the kitchen table while it was full of food wasn’t the brightest idea I’d ever had.

I rolled my eyes at myself as I cleaned up the juice that I hadn’t even noticed we spilled, then removed the rest of the food and took it to the sink. After shoving down a few pancakes and trashing the ruined bits, I loaded the plates into the dishwasher and paused to listen for the sound of running water.

When I didn’t hear anything, I realized that she must have gotten out at some point while I was cleaning up. My body instantly began to move towards her bedroom, but I stopped myself at the last second. Since I wasn’t sure how long she’d been out of the shower, I figured I could at least give her a few more moments of privacy.

Even though that was the last thing I really wanted to do.

I resigned myself to cleaning off the table with a rag and tidying up the room just to keep myself from running to her. Besides, it was probably a good idea to do this now. Leslie and Dad would be arriving in the morning and I really didn’t feel like getting up early to clean up the mess I’d made.

After everything was cleaned up and I twisted the knob to start running the dishwasher, there was nothing left to stop me from joining Fiona. I moved quietly down the hall, noting that her bedroom door was left ajar. Was that done for my benefit? Was it an invitation?

I didn’t know, so I pushed the door open further to look inside.

Fiona was curled up on one side of the bed, almost as if she had purposely kept the other side open for me. I still wasn’t sure if she did it on purpose or not, but I hesitated in the doorway for a long moment before I took a deep breath and walked in.

If she asked me to go, I would go.

But as I slid beneath the covers and gently wrapped my arms around her frame, I found myself silently praying that she would let me stay.