Shades of Sydney (Sydney West #1) (8 page)

His Adam apple moved as he swallowed. “I do…”

My eyebrows met in confusion. “Excuse me?”

For a moment, all I could hear was the engine and the gentle rhythm of the rain. I watched him and kept a firm grip on the seatbelt. The road was getting bumpy.

His lips revealed a smile. His teeth were glossy with the moonlight. “We’re doing this wrong. Yelling at each other, not knowing one another, and now tonight.”

I looked out to the road. A red Viper passed us, going the opposite way. I glanced down at my nails. The headlights of the next car were too bright. “What do you mean?”

Jason was quiet. When I peeked up through my hair, he was holding the steering wheel tightly, like he was about to confess something. “We fight like cats and dogs, yet I feel something strong for you.”

“I feel it too,” I said, picking at my skirt to hide my smile.

“I don’t live far from you. Want to hang out at my place? Hunter and Amelia might need their space.”

My body cringed at the idea of Hunter making love to my best friend, but she was an adult. Jason seemed like a gentleman, and if I didn’t drink too much tonight, I wouldn’t act like an idiot.

“Sure, your house was the setting of that party, right?” I asked, biting my lip.

“No, that was Hunter’s house, but he doesn’t live that far away either.”

Jason turned off the main road and entered a neighborhood. The houses were all well-kept and all looked the same. They were two-story with drab front yards and windows lit by TVs.

He pulled into a driveway to a house with a single porch light on. In the pool of light was a small statue of a dog holding a welcome sign.

It stopped raining, but its scent lingered in the night air. Jason was unlocking the front door when another wave came. Sprinkles of rain fell, kissing the earth. Soon, sheets of enraged water poured from the sky and pounded the ground.

The heat between Jason and me increased in the house. We attempted to watch a movie, but the cable went out. The lights dimmed a few times before turning off altogether. Jason found a bunch of candles and we put them around us. We sat in a circle of firelight and the air filled with vanilla.

“So…how were you as a kid? Getting into trouble like you do now?” Jason asked. The candles made shadows dance on his face, making him handsomer in some way.

“I was not trouble,” I said, curling a piece of hair around my finger. “It was nothing to complain about, I guess. You know the house Amelia and I are staying in…”

Jason nodded.

“It belonged to my grandmother. She let us stay there whenever we wanted and left it to us when she died.”

Jason picked at a hole in his jeans. “When you say ‘we’…”

I looked down at the dancing shadows of the flames on the carpet. “I mean my parents and me.”

Jason tilted his head. “No siblings?”

The piece of hair around my finger became tighter, making the finger go numb. I hated talking about being an only child. People either pitied me for it or claimed I was lucky. It was how my childhood was and the question tired me.

“No. When I was younger, I used to beg my mom for a baby sister. I wanted someone to play dolls with, but the older I got, I forgot about it.”

He leaned in closer. It seemed like he wanted to touch me, but thought better of it. “You’re okay being alone now?”

I looked at the candles. Some were growing dim, drowning in a pool of white wax. “It has its pluses and minuses, you know, but so does having siblings.”

“I agree. I have an older sister. We used to fight when we were younger, but today we’re friends.”

A ping of envy hit my gut. I clenched my teeth and said, “That’s good.”

The whole get-to-know-you-and-your-childhood was getting boring. I didn’t want to tell him about my life and it was uncomfortable getting to know someone. Maybe my routine of fucking and running ruined my communication skills.

We sat quietly for a beat. The only sound to be heard came from the weeping rain.

Jason sat across from me, staring at a candle to his right. The candles’ smoke reached for us like long, thin fingers. I folded my legs and kept winding and unwinding my finger from my hair. It couldn’t feel much anymore.

Jason’s golden locks shined in the dim light. Half his face was in darkness, the other half highlighted by candlelight. His jaw was tense and his lips looked so soft, so sweet to taste. I pictured rain drops dripping from his hot, naked body. Those thoughts made my stomach do somersaults.

I wanted him. I wanted him now. But did he want me?

Jason met my gaze and his eyes told me yes. I leaned into him, almost to his lips, leaving the last inch to him to close. I sat there, waiting. After a heartbeat, I tasted his lips. He tasted sweet and forbidden.

Soon our hands were involved, pawing at our clothes. They were stripped off in a matter of a few heartbeats. We tossed our clothes over the candles.

I finally was able to run my hand through his hair and it was softer than I ever imagined, like velvet and satin made love and created his hair.

Jason crawled on top of me and licked a wet line down my nude stomach. My nipples hardened and in that moment, I needed Jason inside me.

He moved his hands down my spine and up my ribcage. His touch made my skin feel like it was a bundle of livewires about to ignite into flame. Most of the candles burnt out, but enough gave us light to see.

I traced his jawline with my fingertips, then sat up to kiss the corner of his mouth. I moved down to the column of his neck and nibbled on his shoulder. A sharp moan came from his throat. I heard the foil of a condom and closed my eyes. Everything in me was tingling.

The tip of him bumped against my entrance. He whispered, “You want this?”

“Yes,” I breathed.

His silver eyes flashed with the dim flames. Desire made them sinful. I felt him plunge himself into me, gentle at first, but he grew harder when I didn’t protest. His hands made my thighs widen so he could ride me faster, longer.

Jason’s hands were gentle when they massaged my breasts. My fingertips memorized every dent and curve of his collarbones. I finally got to trace those eagle wings on his back. He gingerly bit my nipple, causing me to throw my head back in pleasure. Every touch breathed life into me. Every caress brought us in deeper.

When he touched my skin, running his palms up and down my sides, I became someone else. I was desired, lusted after. I was a woman who was safe and protected. What Jason and I were doing was of beauty. We were making love, not just fucking.

When I awoke, the world had plunged into darkness. My body overheated. I was intertwined in Jason’s arms. I wiggled free and stepped on a melted candle. It was burned all the way through to the metal bottom.

Where was the light switch? I needed to get out. I needed to go home.

I found a table lamp and flicked it on. A pool of light revealed the crime scene. I gathered my clothes and got dressed. Outside on the front porch, I called a cab.

Jason finally got to have sex with me. He shouldn’t be bothering me anymore. We were only having a one-night stand. That’s what I did with my summer boys, so why did leaving Jason hurt my heart so much?

Chapter Nine

As the cab pulled away from Jason’s place, I felt a touch of regret. Some part of me wanted to remain at his side and wake up with him, maybe share breakfast too. I couldn’t remember the last time I woke up with a guy.

Amelia was asleep when I came home. She snored with a stupid grin plastered on her face. She muttered Hunter’s name and rolled over. The love bug got her bad. I shut her door and went into my room.

I hugged myself. I still felt Jason’s touch. Hell, I smelled him all over me. My heart ached at the thought of him waking up in a circle of dead candles alone. I rubbed my temples and undressed. Maybe a warm shower would help me get myself under control.

When I got out of the shower, I checked my phone. I had two missed calls, both from Jason. He finally knew I took off.

I tossed my phone onto my chair and put a black nightgown on. My body was tired, but my heart felt like a giant hand was squeezing it.

I crawled under my blanket and closed my eyes. Sleep didn’t take me. I laid there awake, replaying Jason kissing my lips, licking my chest. He was one of my top five best fucks, but I couldn’t tell him. He didn’t need his ego stroked.

Jason called on the hour for four hours all afternoon. I didn’t want to talk to him. No, I couldn’t. What would I say?
Thanks for fucking me. It was fun.
That was ridiculous. It puzzled me that he kept calling. Shouldn’t he be satisfied and move on?

***

Another club opened on Sunset, like they needed another one. It was said to have a huge aquarium with exotic fish and actresses suited up as mermaids. They cleverly called the place The Heart of the Ocean. I was flying solo, thanks to Amelia having a date with, gasp, Hunter.
How did I lose my best friend again? Don’t answer that, I don’t want to remember.

Eleven o’clock and the club was booming with life. It was like a hive of intoxicated bees. Strippers did their routine on stage, grinding and shaking their bodies for money. The air shimmered with glitter and the floor was covered in sparkles. Sweat formed a puddle between my breasts, a small pool thanks to my tight bra. I wore a shirt that hung low, showing off my laced bra. The shirt’s hem was long, like a dress. Underneath was a pair of black denim shorts. I could see over the crowd thanks to my sky-high heels. I felt confident and ready to mingle.

In the corner was a herd of people passing joints. By the back wall was a booth packed with people bumping cocaine using a vial and a spoon. I could see their mirrored table’s reflection of the neon lights above.

I stood taking in the scene. With my third martini in hand, I went down to the dance floor. The tempo was loud, pounding into my skull. It was like having my head slammed into a brick wall and wanting to release all my agony. I downed what was left of my drink and abandoned it on a table.

As I danced alone, I watched people. A girl with long blonde hair had a shiny body. Looking closer, she had on a dress that was silver and reflective, like fish scales. It was tight, appearing like a second skin. Her heels were pencil thin and at least seven inches high. Her face was thick with makeup, a combination of a hooker and a clown.

After watching how she danced on the table with her thin brunette friend, I recognized her. She was a famous rock star. I think her name was something like Trinity. I wasn’t a fan, but I’ve seen her enough on infamous media shows.
TNZ
seemed to be obsessed with her.

You knew you were at a hot club when rock stars got messed up and danced like common strippers. It meant they were comfortable. I never understood that. The media could come in, and believe me, they do. Plus, everyone has a camera phone these days. If I cared, I’d tape her and post the video online. I had more important things to do than be starstruck by stuck up musicians.

I got another drink from the bar and went over to stand by the aquarium. Two women swam around with their legs transformed into magnificent mermaid tails. One had raven black hair and rather small breasts. Her tail was light blue and her top matched. The other was a red head. She had a green tail and a purple seashell bikini. I think she was mirroring a certain Disney princess. They circled the seaweed, coral, and the stone castle in the tank for a few minutes before going up for air. The real fish inside were all different shades of colors and sizes.

As I stood there, one small clown fish decided to befriend me. It chased my finger as I slid it along the glass. A laugh bubbled out of me. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was amused by the fish or because I was drunk. Probably both. I was content with playing with Nemo and ignoring the mob dancing. That was until someone thought I needed company.

“How you doin’?” a husky voice asked.

I turned away from Nemo and frowned at the voice. My face went blank when I saw who it belonged to. He was tall, had piercing gray eyes, and a lot of tattoos. It was none other than Brad Penn, rock god from the band Death Wish. He was always on-again-off-again with his drop dead sexy, rock goddess girlfriend, Lacey Moore. But tonight he only had eyes for me.

“I’m fine, how about yourself?” I asked lamely. He was going to turn me down now.

His gaze slid down my body. “I’ll be good once I get a hit. You wanna come?”

“Sure?” I made it a question.

He nodded me to follow him. We passed the VIP ropes and went into a suite decked out in red velvet and black leather furniture. A group of people cluttered together were doing coke. They waved us over and shared. This summer was about risk and what was more thrilling than a rock legend handing you a mirror with a line of coke and a hundred dollar bill rolled up?

Brad leaned back on the couch and chatted with a fellow band member. Another musician walked by and sat next to me.

“Hey,” he said.

I passed on the mirror and rubbed my nose. “Hey.”

The guy next to me was none other than Nikki Keys, bass player for the up-and-coming rock band Dark Temptress. He was wearing ripped jeans and a leather jacket. His chest was exposed and I imagined myself licking a line up his abs.

“I gotta get goin’ soon, gig in Seattle day after tomorrow. But I’ll be back in town soon. I’d like to meet up with you when I return.” His blue eyes fell from my gaze and settled on my breasts.

“Sure. Wanna exchange numbers?” I asked, smiling like a girl who got a wish granted by a genie.

“Cool. Give me yours and I’ll shoot you a text.”

I told him my number and he sent me a generic “hello” text so I’d have his number. Nikki got up and winked at me. “See you soon.”

To ease the burning between my thighs, I crossed my legs and snorted another white line. Brad put an arm around me and pulled me close. He had broad shoulders and my stomach did a flip knowing someone who’s won a Grammy had his sights on me. I couldn’t believe I might be able to add him to my list of summer boys.

“I talk to Jared for five minutes and you got another guy tryin’ to steal ya. You’re mine tonight.”

A wicked smile curled my lips. I ran my fingers along his jawbone and held his chin with my fingertips. “What if I was in control of you?”

For a second, I felt guilty flirting with the man who was with a singer I liked, but Lacey and Brad were always fighting. The tabloids claimed they were cheating on each other every other week. I shook off the feeling and welcomed the warmth of lust.

He gave me a heated look. People broke away in pairs. Brad squeezed my thigh and licked his lips. “You wanna go somewhere private?” he whispered into my ear.

“Yes. Where?”

He grinned, taking my hand. I was led up a spiral staircase that was hidden by a wall with tiger fur pinned to it. I prayed the fur wasn’t real. Up the stairs was an ill-lit bedroom. The carpet was thick, causing my heels to sink in. Brad flicked on the light. I had to squint at the sudden brightness. He turned the dial, dimming the lights.

All that was in the room was a four-poster king sized bed. “You like?” he asked, purring.

“Umm…yeah.”

Shock hit me. I’d never screwed someone famous before and didn’t know it was possible until that moment.

I looked up and saw myself. A ceiling made of mirrors.
Lovely
. All the place was missing was a film crew and chains and it would be a cheap porno set. Fear ran down my spine, like ice melting. What if he had a secret video camera pointing at the bed?

I let the thought go. After all, I was no one. What would he gain if he leaked a sex tape with me in it? It would only embarrass me. It could ruin him. I felt safe and decided I was buzzed enough to sleep with him.

“Good,” he said, walking toward the bed. I followed him, feeling fortunate to be invited into a rock star’s bed.

He was fast at undressing. Within a heartbeat, all he had on was a condom. His rough hands pulled and tugged off my clothes. My fingers got lost in his long dark hair. I was experiencing the ride of a lifetime. A rock god wanted to have sex with me. How was I worthy?

The answer was easy and not glamorous. He was drunk and seemed heartbroken. Perhaps he’d had a fight with Lacey and wanted to forget about it. Then there was me—a girl who was cradling her drink and playing with a fish. But I wouldn’t think about that now, not when someone who was always on TV, on top of music charts, and on the tip of people’s tongues was inside me, making me come. Not when his lips were at my neck.

I forced myself on top of him and we used each other to feel closer to heaven, a place neither of us would probably see, being the delicious sinners that we were.

***

Brad fell asleep, snoring and mumbling something about Lacey. I gathered my clothes and got dressed as fast as I could. My body felt sore and numb, but Brad Penn was now a summer boy of mine.

Downstairs, the party was still in full swing, as if I never left. A girl in a barely-there dress waved me over. I did another line of coke and felt like I was on top of the world. My heart sped up and the colors around me seemed to come alive. My head was tingling. The coke was laced with something else, making it stronger. I knew I should’ve been worried, but the buzz was taking over, and I let it.

With my new high came some lows, like a horrible congested nose. I stumbled to the restroom. A few girls cursed at me as I passed them up in line. Their shouts rolled off my shoulders. I used paper towels instead of toilet paper, mainly because all the stalls were occupied.

The paper towel was brown and rough, making my nose feel raw. I caught my reflection in the mirror. I was a mess. My dirty blonde hair in knots, nose beat red, and my eyes bloodshot. Grabbing an extra piece of paper towel, I stormed out of the bathroom. I had one person to blame—Jason.

I searched for my cell in my purse, finding it under everything else. Once I took it out, I found a new text. It was from Jason. Was he becoming a stalker?

Jason: Why won’t you answer me?

Desperate much?
I thought of texting him, but I was seeing two of my screen. A better idea hit me. Call him.

I found his number and hit call. The phone rang in my ear. I had to plug my finger into my right ear to hear anything at all. Finally, he answered. “Sydney?”

My tongue felt thick in my mouth. “Ja-son, w—why are y—ou texting m—e?” I dragged out my words. Whatever spiked the coke was fucking me up.

“I wanted to know why you left…Where are you?”

“Somewhere,” I said, giggling like a little girl.

“You don’t sound right. What’s wrong?” His voice grew urgent, like an angry father.

“No—thing.”

“There’s something. You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“Or high, can’t tell,” I replied, laughing. The music grew louder. A man skinnier than a rail bumped into me. I cursed at him before going back to Jason. “What we—re talking ab—out again?”

“Where are you? I’m coming to get you,” he said crisply.

“No, I’m fi—ne.”

“I’ve heard that before, remember?”

My mind was hazy. The fog lifted a bit as I thought about the last time I was at a party and brushed off Jason. An asshole took me home and assaulted me on my front porch. I was forced to fight for my life to get away. What was wrong with me?

“I’m watching…for me be—tter.”

“Did you hear what you just said? You’re not making any sense. How can you think ahead and make good choices? Please, tell me where you fucking are,” he said, sounding firm and worried.

Voices were loud in my head, all pounding like feet at a football game when their team made a touchdown. It was hard to breathe through my nose and my stomach ached. Somewhere in my subconscious, I knew Jason made sense. I wasn’t capable of protecting myself. Hell, I couldn’t even drive myself home in my condition.

My stomach twisted in anguish. I didn’t drive here. I took a cab, knowing I was going to get shitfaced. I probably couldn’t walk out of here by myself to the taxi either.