Shades of Sydney (Sydney West #1) (7 page)

Chapter Eight

The sky was blood red and the fluffy white clouds mocked me. A salty ocean breeze coated the air. Inhaling it should’ve been a sweet treat, but it sickened me. I was mad at the world, or maybe I was having a midlife crisis. Never thought I could have one of those in my early twenties.

The mark on my cheek faded a couple days after that prick slapped me. Knowing I put myself in a bad situation didn’t sit well with me, so I was avoiding the parties for a while and gathering my bearings again.

For the past couple weeks, I drank alone and hung out with Amelia when her lips weren’t sewn to Hunter’s. The calendar said it was mid-June and my best friend and Hunter were still a couple, despite my distaste. I knew it wasn’t my place to judge, but it bothered me. Maybe because I was nursing my ego as she laughed and cuddled with her
man
. That was what she was calling him lately. Gag me with a spoon, please.

I was sitting on the couch and had the intent to remain there until I became part of the black stripe pattern on the gray fabric. My well-thought-out plan was shattered by the doorbell.

“Can you get that?” Amelia yelled from upstairs. She was getting ready and wanted me, the girl who wanted to fade away, to move and open the freaking door. Didn’t she know the pain that caused me?

I shuffled to the door. I knew it would be Hunter and he’d be dressed up like he was going to some damn wedding or classy school dance. My heart jumped into my throat when I realized someone was tagging along with him. It happened to be Jason.

“Hey Syd,” Hunter said as he passed by me into the house. I didn’t reply. Instead I stared at Jason like he was a serial killer who was standing over me in my pitch-black bedroom. I hadn’t seen him since I fled that party with Derek.

“What do you want?” I managed to ask. My voice sounded annoyed, and I was glad.

“Can’t I hang with my best bud and see how you’re doing as well?”

“I see no point in killing two birds with one stone when I’m nothing to you.” I stood my ground in the doorway, not letting him pass.

He ran his hands through his thick hair. I kept my hands at my sides, resisting the urge to slip my hands into his hair to see how soft it was.

“I see you as a friend,” he said simply.

“Why? Because your
bud
and my best friend are fuck buddies?”

“What’s wrong with you? They’re together. Don’t you think about anything else besides sex and parties?”

I grabbed a strand of my dirty blonde hair, finding the spilt ends fascinating. “Don’t know. If I did, I still wouldn’t tell you.”

He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes for a moment, clearly upset. “I don’t have time for this. If you want to wallow in your self-pity and drink to the bottom of liquor bottles, be my guest.” He turned to leave and I was going to let him.

“Wait!” Amelia shouted. She was behind me, pushing me out of the way.

Her face said it all: deep lines in her forehead, pinched lips, and her hazel eyes were glassy. For a heartbeat I thought a tear was going to run down her cheek. She was worried about me. Looking behind her to my mess of fast food wrappers and empty bottles, I could see why she’d want someone to watch over me.

Jason stopped, turning back as if in slow motion. He stood there, waiting. Amelia looked at me with wild eyes, as if
I
seemed crazed. “Don’t let him go, Syd.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m afraid of leaving you alone. You’re spiraling.”

I crossed by arms over my chest and felt like a child whose mother wouldn’t buy her a toy at the store. “You really feel like I need a babysitter?”

Her face softened, as if she was trying to reason with a toddler. “Humor me, okay?”

I ran my left hand up and down my right arm. “Fine.”

She waved Jason inside. His face twisted in distaste. He wasn’t pleased about staying at the house of a girl who was on the edge and loathed him. Couldn’t blame him.

Amelia hugged me. My bare legs were lost in the folds of her skirt as she wrapped her arms around me. She had on a long white gown. I think they were going to a fancy restaurant on Sunset and it required black tie attire.

With Hunter and Amelia out of the picture, that left Jason and me standing in my living room like fools. Embarrassed by how dirty I let my house get, I went to clean up. As I gathered liquor bottles and trash in my arms, Jason watched me. Ignoring the burn on my skin, I went to the kitchen to toss away the debris.

“How are we spending this night?”

I looked over my shoulder to see him standing by my kitchen table.

“Excuse me?” I asked, tilting my head to the side.

“I was wondering if I had to prepare myself for watching you sulk all night.”

I ran my fingertips over my right eyebrow. “I don’t sulk. You can do whatever.”

“So I can pirate music using your Wi-Fi?”

The paper in my hand floated to the ground. I picked it up and said, “What? No, don’t do that.”

“Then don’t say I can do whatever,” he said, flashing a smile.

I shook my head as I tossed the piece of paper into the trashcan. “I found no humor in that.”

“What bit you and turned you into a crazed bitch?”

“Nothing,” I said sharply. My words were dagger sharp.

He held up his hands in defeat. I rolled my eyes and went to retire to my room. As I passed by him, he reached out and gingerly touched my arm. It felt like hot bristles were stabbing my heart. Jason was trying to be nice, but I could never trust a man like that. They looked for holes to take advantage of.

“I heard about what happened to you…”

I jerked my arm back, saving it from hungry flames. “I don’t need your pity or you lecturing me about how to live my life.”

“I wasn’t going to…I want to be a friend…”

“You, a hot guy, wants to be my friend?” I crossed my arms over my chest and watched him. Deep in my gut, I winced about admitting he was attractive, but my angry front covered it up, at least I hoped it did.

Jason picked up an empty bottle of whiskey I missed and threw it away. When he turned to look at me, he was moving in slow motion again. I shook my head to erase the daze clouding my thoughts. What game was he playing?

He said, “We can talk or watch a movie, whichever you prefer.”

“Honestly, I’m about to lose my mind in this house. I’ve been its prisoner forever, it seems.”

“You wanna go out? We could go to a quiet place to eat. A diner, maybe? As friends, of course.”

I wrinkled my nose at the idea. “No, I’m not that type of girl. I know now what to watch out for. I’m prepared to get back on the horse and not be some girl worried she’s going to be a victim for the rest of her born days. I’m the kind of girl who kicks ass.”

The smile on my face felt real. I wanted to go back into the world and face down the dragons who thought they could vanquish me. It was time to show them who had control of the sword.

The look on Jason’s face suggested he didn’t seem to believe me. He rubbed his jaw and said, “Okay, so you wanna hit a club? That’s fine, but don’t ditch me if you find someone
worthy
.”

The insult hit me hard. I scratched my arm, leaving red lines on my skin so I didn’t lash out with sharp words. “
Worthy?
You make me sound like an upper class slut.”

“What I meant was, don’t ditch me for someone like you did at the last party.”

“In my defense, I didn’t come with you then.”

He gave me a long, knowing look.

I gave him a smirk and smacked his upper arm. “Fine, I won’t ditch you, but the same goes for you too.”

The smile that made my stomach twist in lust was painted on his face again. “It’s a date. Shall we or do you want to change first?”

I looked down at my pink Eeyore shorts and matching shirt. “Maybe I want to go clubbing in this. Imagine all the envious looks I’d get,” I joked, tugging on the hem of the shirt.

He laughed. It was warm, like cookies fresh from the oven. “You would be quite the eye catcher, the crème de la crème of the club.”

“You bet,” I said with a wink. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

I ran up the stairs and tore my closet apart to find something suitable to wear. My heart settled on a hip hugging leather skirt with a lace top. It showed off my shoulders, but not my chest. There was no time for a movie star makeover, but some eyeliner and red lipstick can go pretty far. I slipped on some five inch heels and threw on a pair of peace sign earrings before going back down.

Jason’s eyes widened at the sight of me. He tried to cover it up by fake coughing. I grabbed my clutch purse and made my way out the door. “Are we going or what?”

“Yes,” he said, jogging to catch up. I locked the door and trailed behind him. He stood between our two vehicles. “Wanna take my Jeep?”

I couldn’t help but look at my Charger and wish to drive it. Something in me felt better when I was in my car. Maybe it was because I had the control. On the other hand, I didn’t want to drive my car while drunk. Let Jason deal with the ticket if we got pulled over.

“Sure,” I replied.

Jason took us to a high roller club called Revolution of the Dead. Usually you’d have to be a movie star, singer, or model to be in that world. Jason walked right up to the big, tall bouncer and said his name. To my surprise, he was let him in automatically and I was his plus one. Turned out Jason’s uncle owned the joint.

The music pounded into my head, trying to find the weak spot in my ear drums so they’d burst. Body heat hit me in smelly waves. We pressed our way to the bar. Some girl in a bikini top and jean shorts pushed me after I accidently bumped into her. She thought it was a punishment, but actually she helped me get to the bar faster.

A guy sat next to me and looked my body over. I recoiled from him and crossed my legs. He looked over his shoulder. Someone caught his eye and he was gone.

Jason ordered our drinks. We sat and sipped them, scanning the crowd. A few drinks later I allowed Jason to lead me to the dance floor. My hair whipped around my sweaty body as I circled Jason like a shark on the hunt. I found myself wanting more of him. If only he’d lose some of his clothes in the chaotic crowd.

During a slow song, if that existed in a dance club, Jason whispered into my ear, “You know, I like you.” I felt that was the invitation I’d been waiting for. He’d be my summer boy soon.

My lips attached to his, but didn’t seal. He pushed me away and looked at me like I grew a second head.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, shouting over the music.

The rainbow colored lights above reflected in his eyes. “Why are you kissing me?”

“Because you like me and I like you.”

How dim was he?

His gaze held some kind of sorrow. I felt his body slow down and then stop altogether. He refused to dance again. Instead, he abandoned the dance floor. Confused and frustrated, I followed him.

Once outside in the warm and quiet night, I hissed, “What’s your problem?”

“Why do you want to sleep with every guy who takes an interest in you?”

I licked my lips. I didn’t know how to answer such a question. “Guys are all the same. They think with what’s in their damn pants and I twist it around—”

Blood rushed to his face in anger and his hands kept clenching and unclenching at his sides. “Don’t you group me into the likes of guys who take advantage of drunk girls!”

I was taken aback. “Whoa, calm down.”

“Let’s go,” he said.

I followed behind him and we got into his Jeep. We were in a cone of silence. To ease my troubled mind, I looked out the window. The city’s lights whizzed by like fireflies. A light sprinkling of rain dusted the vehicle in droplets. I watched them race each other to the edge of the window.

What’s his problem, anyway? Guys love a girl who wants to give them kisses. Let him think he has control and turn it around. Be the one on top.

I kept looking out, staring at the line of palm trees in the distance, highlighted by the moon. “I’m sorry. I thought…”

He inhaled deeply, then exhaled, and finally said, “I like you, but that doesn’t mean all I want to do is screw you. Haven’t you seen any romantic movies?”

I touched the glass, following a raindrop down the window with my finger. “Not into romance. More of an action fan myself.”

“I can tell.” His voice became soft, toasty. When I was this close to a guy I felt lust, but with Jason the lust turned into feeling safe. It was new. I didn’t know what to do with myself.

I turned my head to look at him. His jaw was clenched, like he was holding back more things he wanted to say.

“Thanks for trying to cheer me up,” I said. “Would’ve worked like a charm if I didn’t think you wanted to sleep with me.”