Shades of Sydney (Sydney West #1) (9 page)

I drew in a sharp breath and let it go. “New club on Sun—set.”

“The Heart of the Ocean?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said dryly.

“I’ll be there soon. Make your way to the exit, but don’t leave the building.”

“Okay...” I hung up and dropped the phone into my purse.

I stumbled and leaned against the cool glass of the aquarium. My fish found me again, but he wasn’t fun anymore. I used the glass to help me through the crowd. I foggily saw a sign in the distance that had red letters spelling out
‘EXIT’
. I needed to reach it, but the sign seemed far away.

With my purse hugged to my chest, I made my way there. Bodies pressed together, trying to be joined. I parted them slowly, like cutting into leather. A stranger hit me and I fell onto a man. He smiled and cupped my breasts. I fell back and somehow found an escape from the creep. I collapsed into a booth near the exit and laid my head on the table. My thoughts were spinning. The music danced on my skin, piercing my nerves. I was on edge.

A hand touched my shoulder, causing me to jump. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m going to take you home.”

I looked up to see who was speaking. Jason was smiling down at me. My hero, yet I fled from him like the plague twenty-four hours ago.

He took me in his arms, helping me walk. I wanted to fight and argue, but my body gave up. It was no use. I had worn myself down. At that point, I could’ve belonged to anyone and done anything. I wasn’t myself.

Jason put me in his Jeep and clicked my seatbelt on. He got in and automatically turned the radio off, as if knowing the music would’ve made my ears want to bleed. Part of me was waiting for his lecture, to tell me what a fool I was and how much trouble I could’ve been in if he didn’t come to save me. But he remained silent, staring ahead at the never-ending road.

I licked my dry lips, staring out the window. Houses, a handful of cars, the black surface of the ocean, and fields of grass passed by. Maybe I was seeing things. People seemed to change shape and colors were blurred. A unicorn was in a field of blue.

I closed my eyes. They couldn’t be trusted. My life was in Jason’s hands. If it wasn’t for him, I didn’t know where I’d be.

Chapter Ten

“You don’t need…to help me inside,” I said firmly. My voice sounded better, a little less slurry.

“Yes, I do.” Jason stood at my side, trying to guide me to my front door.

“No!” I pulled away from him and fell on my ass. The world seemed to be moving too fast, as if I was on a cruise ship rocked by waves and not solid earth. I tried to get up, but couldn’t. It was no use. I couldn’t stand on my own.

“Would you like help or would you rather crawl?”

Jason looked down at me. At first I thought he was enraged, but his face was pained in the attempt of hiding his smile. The bastard wanted to laugh.

I sighed, looking at the distance from where I was to the door. It was at least nine yards, too far to crawl. Plus I didn’t want to drag my body up the steps to the front door. No way could I deal with any more bruises.

“Fine, you can help me,” I said bitterly.

“Thank you, your royal highness. It’s such a great honor.” He gave me his hands and helped me to my feet.

I wrapped one arm around his broad shoulders to keep from falling again. “I sense sarcasm,” I breathed as we moved closer to my house.

He made a noise that sounded like a muffled laugh. “Maybe a bit.”

His left arm was around my hips. I could feel his fingers brushing my skin. Images of Jason naked crossed my mind. They wouldn’t vamoose, no matter how hard I closed my eyes and willed them away.

We made it to the door. I reached for my keys, dropping them to the deck as soon as I touched them. Jason bent down to get them, unlocking the door for me.

To my surprise, he not only walked me inside, but carried me upstairs to my bedroom. It was strange having a guy in my room. I never had them in my personal space. Sure, I’d sleep with them, but never in my own bed.

I had rules. They were few and simple. One, only have sex with men you think are worth it. Two, have sex anywhere safe and comfortable, but never in your own bed. Three, never give up your heart, conceal it. Sex was an action, something to do with two horny beings. It was meant as nothing afterwards, just a memory that would dim over time. Those were my rules.

I wanted to cuddle with Jason and sleep, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t because he was in my room. No, it was because my stomach felt sick. My throat burned, and I knew something atrocious was about to wash over me.

Automatically I sat up on my pillows, trying to swallow the urge to throw up. It wasn’t working. My mouth watered. It was coming.

“Are you all r—?”

I flew out of bed and to my wastebasket near the desk. On my knees, I hugged the basket to my chest and hurled.

“For fuck’s sake,” Jason said. I had disgusted him. He was going to leave me alone with my sickness and ridicule me for it later.

Closing my eyes, I felt another wave of nausea hit me. Warm hands touched me, brushing my skin. My hair was gathered and held at my back.

“You’re going to be okay,” Jason said softly.

“Why are you still here?” I asked, taking deep breaths to calm myself.

He gingerly touched my cheek, brushing back a stray hair. “Someone needs to watch over you.”

I wanted to respond, but my last meal wanted to come out more.

After what seemed like forever, I started to dry heave. Everything in my stomach was lying in the wastebasket. My body was shaky. All that and I wasn’t even at the hangover stage. Just what I needed.

Jason grabbed the trashcan from my hands, taking it out of the room. When he returned, he gathered me in his arms and laid me in bed once more.

I laid there like a doll for a moment. My stomach was sore and my throat felt like it was on fire. I hugged the pillows close to me. Inhaling their familiar lavender scent made me sleepy. As my eyes began to close, I realized Jason was still in my room, watching me.

I forced myself awake. “Aren’t you leaving?”

“No, someone needs to take care of you. I don’t think you know how to take care of yourself.”

I wanted to yell at him, convince him I knew how to take care of myself, but my voice faded and dreamland called my name. I’d note it and tell him some other time.

Chapter Eleven

I lazily opened my eyes. When did they close? I looked around the room. Jason was gone. What kind of guy claimed he’d take care of a girl, then vanish?

Mentally, I shrugged. My body was too tired to do the actual movement. I rolled over, trying to find the perfect spot to sleep in. That was when I heard footsteps coming closer.

“Care for some water? I bet your throat hurts.”

Jason handed me a glass of ice water. That was why he left. I didn’t want him to take care of me, but I was thirsty. I sat up and gave him a sideways glance before taking the glass in my hands. After a few long sips, I fell back to the fluffy pillows. Jason took the glass, placing it on the desk.

“I changed your trash bag so it’s clean and ready in case you feel sick again. I’ll set it over here by your head, okay?”

I looked over my shoulder, nodding to show I understood. Why was he being gentle and kind? He had his fun with me. What was with Hunter and Jason being such gentlemen? If they were in fact knights in shining amour, I wasn’t capable of handling it. I was no fucking Guinevere. Never in my life have I had a real boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, and I never planned on having one.

Jason was still in my room. I could feel him there. I wanted to kick him out, but my body wouldn’t move. I wanted to yell at him, but my words were lost. Dreams took me over. I gave into them. No point in fighting.

***

A rock was trying to crack my skull, I knew it. It wasn’t visible, but it was heavy and determined to be the end of me. My eyes were going to burst in their sockets. My whole being was about to explode. I loathed hangovers. They were hell. I used my fingers to rub circles into my temples, trying to ease the pain. A snore to my left broke the thoughts about myself. Who the fuck was in my room?

I sat up, regretting it the instant I did. A whoosh went through my ears. My heart was pounding too damn loudly. The room was in shadows. Faint light streamed through my curtains. A groan came from my parted lips. It was followed by another snore.

“Who’s in my room?” I asked aloud.

No response.

Swallowing my fear, I spoke louder. “Who the hell is in my room?”

I saw a figure move out of the corner of my eye. I wasn’t deranged. Someone was in my room.

My heart leaped into my throat. “Amelia? Is that you?” I asked softly.

A moan drifted through the air. It sounded masculine. Fear froze my body, forcing my heart into overdrive.

“Sydney?” a voice asked.

“Yes?” I breathed, afraid to move.

The man yawned and asked, “What time is it?”

I clenched my fists, wishing I kept a pocket knife by my bed. “Umm…I don’t know. Who the fuck are you?”

He laughed. “You don’t remember last night, do you?”

“No…”

Wait, I did. I got wasted and couldn’t walk straight. Jason brought me home. I got sick, and it was Jason who nursed me at my bedside. Jason had stayed over in
my
room without having sex with me. What the fuck was going on?

“I remember now. Why are you still here?”

“Nice way to thank someone for watching your back.”

He groaned while stretching his arms. I could see him now. He was in the corner of my room in the office chair that belonged to the desk. I never sat there because it was too painful for my lower back. I wondered how much Jason’s back hurt this morning. Maybe I could rub oil on his naked body and take away his agony. Why did my mind always go somewhere dirty?

I bowed my head and stared at my blanket. “I’m sorry. I’ve never woken up to—”

“The way you left after we had sex, I’m guessing you never stay to morning.”

His words tasted bitter, like vinegar.

He couldn’t know the truth about me. I bit my lip, searching for the right thing to say. I gave up on perfect and said, “I was going to say I’m not used to people in my room. No one is allowed in my room.”

His eyebrows knitted together. Those silver eyes pierced me, like storm clouds about to burst with rain. I forced my gaze to the curtains, glowing with morning light. “What do you mean?” he asked.

Great, he wanted to chat, just what I wanted to do with a hangover.

I looked at him, willing him to go with my eyes. He misunderstood my message and came to sit at the edge of my bed. If he got any closer, all bets were off. I was going to touch him. I knew it down to my bones. Jason was like a first hit of a powerful drug, leaving its user to crave more.

His eyes pulled me in, trying to drown me in emotions. I dropped my eyes to my lap. “I’m the only one who enters my room. Amelia comes in to bother me, but she doesn’t stay. I never have
sleepovers
here.”

Jason looked even more confused. He tilted his head like a lost puppy. “Sleepovers?”

I rubbed my forehead. “That’s code for sex. I never have sex in my bed.”

His silver eyes felt like hot metal trying to scorch me. “What? Why?”

“Personal reasons,” I said, trying to be vague.

“Oh—
oh
. I get it now,” he said dryly.

His tone threw me. I rubbed my pounding temple and asked, “You get what?”

Jason stood and paced in front of me, waving his arms in the air as he talked. “You don’t have sex here because you can’t escape.”

I felt my face fall. Was I that easily readable? “Something like that, I guess.”

He stopped and gave me a cold look, but his mouth pulled down into a pout, like someone stabbed him in the heart. “No, that’s it. You’re into one-night stands.”

I tried to wave him off. No need to dig into my baggage. “Doesn’t matter. Right now I want to take some pain pills and loathe life.”

He went to the window, but continued facing me. “Why?”

“Hangover. When I feel better, I’ll drink wine and start planning my next move.” Why was I explaining myself?

Jason ran his hand down his face, pulling down his left eye for a second. “You’re strange.”

I arched my back, stretching my bones. “You have no idea.”

“When are we going to talk?” he asked, looking down at his hands. He was a man who towered over me, but this moment he seemed like a little boy who wanted his mother to repeat for the hundredth time she loved him.

“About what?” I dreaded the answer.

“Us…”

My mouth went dry. “There’s an ‘us’?”

He ran his fingers through his hair and pulled at the ends. “I…err…never mind.”

Before I could form a sentence, he was gone. I was alone in my room and felt like I’d done something horribly wrong.

I wanted it all to be a dream that I’d wake up from soon. The desire to make Jason fiction was so strong, my migraine caused my head to thrash with new torment. I needed pain pills or I was going to lose my mind.

Passing Amelia’s room, I opened the door, finding it vacant. She was gone, probably with her beloved Hunter.

I thought Jason had left, but I could see his Jeep from the arched window in the hallway. He was still in my house, somewhere.

After taking a deep breath, I went into the bathroom. My reflection revealed what a wild night I had. Hair in tangles, makeup smudged, and bloodshot eyes. Ignoring the mirror, I opened the machine cabinet and grabbed the Advil bottle. I opened the bottle, poured three pills into my palm, and tossed them into my mouth. I washed them down with a glass of water from the tap.

Looking down at myself, I noticed I was still in the same clothes from last night. I straightened my top before closing the medicine cabinet. Jason had already seen me like this, so I wasn’t going to make myself pretty. I wanted him to leave. Maybe I could scare him away.

My legs carried me down the stairs without issue. I turned into the kitchen and found Jason. He was seated at my kitchen table, staring at his cup of steaming coffee.

“What are you doing?” I walked to the cabinet to grab a mug.

“Drinking coffee,” he said matter of fact.

The cabinet was open a little. I nudged it more and grabbed a mug. “Why does it look like you’re trying to figure out if the chicken came before the egg or vice versa?” I closed the cabinet and moved toward the coffee pot.

“Don’t know.” He sounded like a boy who’d lost his best friend.

I poured myself a cup of delicious coffee and turned around to face him. “You sound like someone disemboweled your cat.”

Jason’s mouth twitched as he grabbed his mug, picking it up. “You feeling any better?” He looked at me while taking a sip of coffee.

He avoided my statement. It wasn’t important anyway. I was just trying to fill in the silence between us.

I looked down at the black coffee, watching the steam raise. “Not this very moment, but soon. Just took some Advil.”

He nodded. I sat down across from him, studying his face. His jaw was clenched tight, but his eyes searched his coffee as if he was looking for an answer. I didn’t know what to do with him in my kitchen. It wasn’t like we were a couple. Hell, we weren’t even friends.

“So…” I said, letting the word hang in the air.

His fingers drummed on the table and stopped as soon as they started. “I know you don’t want me here, but I need some answers first.”

I took a gulp of my coffee, letting it burn its way down. “What kind of answers?”

He met my eyes. Those silver orbs were like glass, fragile and elegant. “You really feel nothing for me?”

I bit my lip. A guy never questioned me before. They didn’t care I left before dawn. We were both satisfied and didn’t have to do the morning dance of awkwardness. Neither of us wanted to lie and say we’d call. We knew it was a one-time deal. Why was Jason making it hard?

“I find you attractive. Does that mean anything?” His words were soft, as if they were difficult to say.

All I could do was chew on my bottom lip and avoid his searching gaze.

He continued on, adding heat to his words. “Do you have empty sex with all types of guys, like some kind of…?”

“Like some kind of what?” I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest. I didn’t want to hear the word, but my anger was getting out of hand. When that happened, I didn’t know what was going to come out of my mouth.

“Never mind. I’ve never met a girl who was so cold.”

“I’m a winter-hearted bitch. Who gives a damn?” I placed my elbows on the table and rubbed my temples. Pain meds sucked. “I learned how to deal with the punches.” Words were falling out.

Jason sat up and blinked a few times. “What?”

I downed the rest of my coffee and got up, putting the mug in the sink. “Never mind. I don’t have to explain my life story to you,” I said, keeping my back to him.

“You probably have daddy issues,” he said under his breath.

It felt like he slapped me across the face. I spun around and glared at him. “Excuse me? Are you my therapist?”

Jason’s eyes widened. He held up his palms. “No…It’s just—”

I put my hand out like a stop sign. I’d heard enough. “Get out. Get the fuck out of my house.”

He sat his mug on the counter and tried to close the distance between us. I think he wanted to prove he wanted peace, but I craved war.

“Don’t touch me.” I brushed past him. “I have nothing left to say.”

Jason stood there for a heartbeat. Maybe he thought I’d calm down and retreat back to him. I would, once hell froze over. Until then, I stormed up the stairs to my room. For a moment, I paused, looking over my shoulder. Jason looked dumbstruck. He ran his fingers through his hair as he went for the door.

“For what it’s worth, thanks for helping me during my drunken haze.”

With that said, I raced away before he could reply. I was a bitch, but I wasn’t made of ice. Not all of me, just my heart.