Shadowborn (15 page)

All doubt forgotten, I needed to touch more of him.

My palms explored the flat planes of his chest, trailed up the back of his neck until my fingers tangled in his wet hair. Pleasure spiraled through me. I wanted more, but I couldn’t think well enough to form words—only clutched him tighter and climbed him like a jungle gym until my legs wrapped around his hips.

His arms encircled me and pulled me hard against him.

“Ahem.”

Neasa
.

The dainty, yet acid-laced voice snapped all of my muscles taut.
Mother loving hell!
I disentangled myself from Nix and ended up flat on my ass on my bedroom floor. His dagger stare suggested he wasn’t pleased about her intrusion either.

“What are you doing in my room, Neasa?” I sounded winded, like a runner trying to talk after a marathon.
Yeah, a marathon session of sucking face with my fucking guard.
I couldn’t help the fire blazing up my face. What would I have done if she hadn’t entered?

“I came to tell you a session of Court has been scheduled for tomorrow to decide who will go to the Black City for the ceremony. They’ll be pleased to know you’ve taken a consort, my queen.” The way she smiled sent a jolt through my core. “The Unseelie king, most of all.”

Rage tinged my vision red as I launched at her. Nix’s arms around my waist stopped me short of reaching her scrawny neck. “He’s not my fucking consort, you evil hag! If you thought my last punishment was bad, just wait and see what I’ll do to you if you speak a word of this to another, especially Liam.” My voice didn’t sound like mine—more like a hungry wolf speaking through a mouth full of fangs.

Neasa gave me a little curtsy and backed toward the door, the devilish smile never leaving her nasty face. “It’ll be worth it to see the look on his half-breed face.”

Nix grunted, containing me as the silver bitch disappeared out my door.

I roared and shoved him away from me, panting, bewildered by the urge to beat the hell out of something. The wheeze in my lungs made me think I’d suffocate as if my need were a physical withdrawal from an addiction. I’d come so close to that intoxicating high I got when I hurt someone and been denied.

Again, Parthalan’s presence permeated my mind, all of his fear crashing upon me like the surf against the rocks. This time, it was me who scared him with my power and rage. I ate it up and begged him for more. He complied, his scream echoing in my ears.

Nix faced me in a crouch by the exit. Seeing terror adding a shine to his eyes brought me back into my own mind. With hands over my ears, I walked off the rage in front of my fireplace. A herculean effort forced Parthalan into the background of my mind again.

Neasa would tell the Court. And Liam. Images of his angry face, of the hurt in his eyes, haunted me. I bent over and retched. My voice of reason piped up and told me what I didn’t want to hear. If I let him believe I’d taken Nix as my consort, Liam would be angry enough to let me go without a fight.

“What’s better this way?” Nix shouted loud enough I halted and turned to him.

“What did you say?”

“You’ve been muttering the same thing over and over. You said it’s better this way.”

I stared through Nix, unwilling to listen to anything that might sway my decision. “Let them believe it. The Court, and … Liam. It’ll solve a lot of problems.”

“But—”

“I need some time alone.” I started for the gaping hole that once housed my bathroom door before Nix destroyed it, counting on the water to drown out my mind for a while.

“I’m sorry, Li,” Nix said in a soft, apologetic tone. “I didn’t mean for anyone to see. Least of all her.”

I nodded without turning. “I know.”

Once in the shower, I turned on the water as hot as I could take it and stood there, letting it scald me.

By the time I’d dressed in faded jeans and a white cashmere sweater, I still had an hour before I had to leave for Freymoor. In need of something other than thinking to occupy my time, I took the transport down and made my way to the garden in the middle of Dun Bray, the heart of the city. I didn’t meet the eyes of a single fae I passed. The Seelie considered it rude not to acknowledge another’s presence, but at that moment, I didn’t care.

The garden sat atop a hill, a short way from the castle, with a clear view of most of the city. Trees with black, gnarled trunks and pink, feathery foliage encircled the space carpeted with velvet-like grass. Tiny, white, star-shaped flowers dotted the emerald canvas and cast up a fresh scent I couldn’t help but inhale deep into my lungs.

I moved to the edge of the oasis and gazed out over the sea of shifter-houses and cobblestone streets, the first thorough look I’d taken since most of the Seelie had closed up their homes in the human world and returned. Most had removed the vines from their houses, and the general vibe I received from the ancient creatures seemed a happier one. Dun Bray no longer lay dormant but alive with fae performing one task or another in every direction I looked. At least something had improved since I’d taken the throne.

I stared up at the souls of my family, swirling yellow and white in the sky, too numb to feel much of anything. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Mother. I thought this would get easier after we killed Parthalan, but … I’m lost again.”

A tendril of mist spiraled down and enveloped me. I caught an echo of laughter, my mother’s and Garret’s, along with a sense of the peace and joy they’d found in their reunion.

Could I find that contentment with Nix? My head said yes, that it would be simple to keep my heritage secret from him and have our union accepted by our people, but my heart still clung to Liam with a death grip. Not to mention the niggle in my mind that wondered about Nix’s intentions toward me.
I asked for this assignment.
His words rattled through my mind. Why would he have asked to be my captain before even meeting me?

“Are you sure you want to leave us?”

I whirled with a start to find Brígh standing a few feet away in cut-off shorts and a white T-shirt. Light pink hair the color of predawn hung loose around narrow shoulders. She smiled that innocent way she always did, with pouty, pink, glossed lips. I couldn’t help but return the grin.

“You scared the hell out of me.” I looked back at the sky as the mist retreated, before turning back to Brígh. “What do you mean, am I sure I want to leave you?”

“I had a vision where you said you would leave us once this shit with the Shadowborn is over.” Her gaze held sadness and more worldly darkness than I’d ever seen in her as if she’d seen something that had stolen her innocence. Maybe part of it was that Garret had slipped away from Dun Bray when she’d been told to watch him, and his death haunted her as much as it did me.

“I …” My fingers massaged my temples. “I said it when I was pissed off. I didn’t mean it.” As I stared at the young fae before me, I knew I spoke the truth. I would never leave Dun Bray, not because it felt like home, but because of fae like her who looked to me to make the world safer for them, to ensure a future better than the one she faced if I left and did nothing.

Her smile changed back into the pure one I’d grown fond of. “I hear the truth in your words.”

I laughed. “You’re starting to sound like Gallagher. Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Pfft.” Brígh rolled her eyes, and in an instant, that air of youth and innocence returned to her lightly freckled, ivory cheeks. “Gallagher has me training with Tameryn. I heard she was a whiny priss, but shit!”

That’s my girl.
Tameryn wasn’t a name I recognized from the Court. “I’m not sure who that is.”

“She’s the oldest Seer in the city, even older than Neasa, twice as crabby, and also one of the Overseers who polices those with the gift of foresight.” Brígh brushed her fingers through the feathery foliage of the tree beside us with a childlike wonder. “She has taught me how to control my gift better, I suppose.” The young fae stared as if she’d never seen me before. “I’m actually glad I found you before you went to Freymoor tonight. There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

I opened my mouth to ask her how she knew where I was going, but her finger tapping against her temple let me know she’d seen it.
Duh
.

My stomach announced its annoyance at being empty with a roll of thunder. “I still have about a half hour to kill. Can we talk in the kitchen? I just realized I’m starving.”

“I can make you one of my special shakes you like so much.” She beamed and bounced as if she’d take flight.

“Oh yeah, that sounds good.”

I walked beside Brígh back to the castle, up the long flight of stone steps and into the main hall while she chatted about the days of meditating that Tameryn had insisted she endure. Although I tried to keep my focus on the story that continuously spilled from her mouth, my grumbling stomach divided my attention.

The girl beside me induced a sense of calm I didn’t understand. She’d chased away my dark thoughts about Liam and Nix, and although I was grateful, I needed to dissect the reason for it.

Did I consider her a friend? Did I trust her not to make my life harder in any way, like suggesting we have babies together? I’d never had a friend before—not a real one. Liam was my lover, and Nix took care of me in a way no one ever had, but nothing about those relationships was easy.

Brígh was a simple girl. Like me, she swore like a trucker in a traffic jam, and she hated Neasa, too. Brígh made no demands of me. I didn’t need to worry about protocol or offense when she and I were together, and I liked that.

As she pushed open the arched, wooden door to the ballpark sized kitchen, Brígh gnawed on her lower lip. “There are actually two things I want to talk to you about.” Pink circles decorated her high cheekbones, and instead of continuing what she was about to say, she spun fast enough her hair flared out like a hula skirt. Silence settled into the empty room other than the plunk of containers she took from the oak cupboards and set on the grey, granite countertop. The surfaces, along with the stainless steel, restaurant-style fridges and stoves that lined the far wall, gleamed as if polished recently.

“Spill it, Brígh.” I pulled up a stool across the center island from where she worked, and sat down.

She poured some red liquid into a blender, dumped in some cherries and strawberries before she turned and leaned against the counter. Her deep blue eyes darted around the brightly lit space, their ivory starbursts pulsing. “I’ve seen visions of a … fae.” Brígh spun again, her hands grasping items from the cupboard as if I timed her.

“Can you be more specific?” A smile grew on my face. “Is this someone you’re interested in dating?”

A snort blurted out of her. “Dating. Goddess, you sound like a human.” She sighed, running the blender for a few seconds, the whir of the motor dominating the room. After pouring the pink concoction into a tall glass, she placed it in front of me and pulled up a stool across the counter. “Even seeing him in my visions makes my knees all wobbly. I think—I think he’s supposed to be my mate, now that I’m old enough.” Her lashes lowered, and she drew her lip between her teeth.

Before asking the deluge of questions I had for her, I had to know. “How old are you?”

“Eighteen.”

Young, especially for a fae. “And you’re asking me about him, why?” I chuckled. “I’m the last person you should be talking to about your love life. Hell, I can’t even manage my own without causing one disaster or another.”

“I’ve seen you and Liam together in a vision.” Brígh’s focus settled back on me while I cringed on the inside. “The way you two look at one another is almost painful to watch, it’s so intense.” Her fingers stroked the edge of the countertop. “The one I keep seeing is Unseelie, too.”

I had a sneaking suspicion. “Is he young, with long hair, kind of purplish?”

She nodded and wiggled with enthusiasm enough to send her halfway across the counter. “Yes, and eyes and an ass to die for.”

I hung my head, suspicion confirmed. I knew what Gallagher would say about our young Seer dating someone from the other Court. I sighed and sipped the fruity drink, pausing to savor the explosion of flavors and silky texture across my tongue. “His name is Cas, and he’s very sweet, but … you have to know Gallagher would burst a lung if he finds out you have your eye on the captain of the king’s guard.”

“Captain? Really?” Her upper half moved farther across the surface until we were almost nose to nose. “I can shield better than anyone here.” Her eyes took on a devious glint that had never been there before. “Good thing, too, because if Gallagher saw the fantasies I ha—”

“Whoa!” I held my hand up, downed my drink and stood. “I don’t need the details.” My hands propped on my hips, and against my better judgment, I said, “The next time Cas is outside the portal, I’ll introduce you.” Who was I to stand between new love if he’d even return the attraction? When she giggled like a deranged monkey, I waved my hand to stop her. “If—and only if—Gallagher isn’t there. You’d better hope he doesn’t pick it out of my head.” I didn’t need my royal aide pissed off at me, too.

With both dainty hands folded over her mouth, she nodded, her excitement shining out from her gaze like a smitten schoolgirl. Except for the pink hair and Seelie sapphire eyes, she could have passed for human.

“Do you know why our eyes are different from the Unseelie?” I asked.

Liam had once told me the division had happened after the war separated our people centuries before, and all who went to the Black City gained ice-blue eyes, and the Seelie got the dark blue. He didn’t seem to know why.

Brígh lifted her shoulders and slid back onto her stool. “I don’t know, sorry. Dun Bray is all I’ve ever known.” Her gaze fell to the granite. “I know someone you can ask, though. You’re going to see her tonight, in fact.”

My eyebrow quirked up. “You mean the elves? Laerni?”

A cringe screwed up Brígh’s face. “I have to be careful what I say, Lila. If I break the rules of the timeline, the consequences can be brutal.” She blew away a strand of her pink hair that had fallen across her lips. “So I’ve heard from Tameryn, anyway.” She snorted. “She’s such a drama queen.”