Shadowborn (17 page)

I gaped at him, squinted at features that didn’t reveal anything about what was going on within him. “But … don’t you want to talk about this? I mean, we …” I choked on ‘that we might have done the deed before Neasa had walked in’ thought. My little voice shouted at me for being a hypocrite—lying to Liam by omission was still lying. At that moment, I realized I wanted Nix to yell and scream at me. I felt like a lousy shit and wanted him to treat me as such.

I shook my head at my idiocy.

“I’ll always be here for you, in whatever role you need me to be.” Arms straight down, hands in his pockets, he motioned with his head. “We need to go.”

The shake I’d drunk squished around in my stomach. “Uh … okay. Yeah, I guess we should.” Without a clue what to say to take the hurt out of his eyes, I turned to find my father and Cas standing with Liam, who wore only his shredded pants.

I walked beside Nix toward the group, the tension between us thick enough for a gorilla to swing on.

Donovan took me in his arms when I came within reach and held longer than I expected him to. “I wish I could go with you,” he said when he finally released me. “The elves have agreed to allow Liam inside Freymoor with you, but he’ll not be permitted to be with you during your training. The rest of us must stay away.”

“Why an Unseelie and not one of Lila’s own guards?” Nix jabbed an angry finger toward Liam, his face twisted up in a scowl.

Liam, still expressionless, kept his distance. “They know she feels safe with me, and I can fly her directly to the place where we picked up the medallions. That way none of us is exposed to the Shadowborn longer than necessary.”

Pride swelled in my chest as I grinned at Liam. “Was that your idea? It’s actually really smart.”

“You look surprised.” Liam tried to frown, but his lips curved up. “Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.”

Heat swept up my face when I realized my insult. “Wait, I didn’t mean—”

“I know.” Liam winked and walked a little way into the clearing, his globe of Light driving back the darkness as he went. “We won’t be able to talk once I shift.” Sadness tugged his voice into a lower tone. “Now that we’re not bonded.”

I nodded, uncertain what to say to that. He wasn’t the only one who mourned the loss of our Goddess-given bond. The bond allowed us to talk telepathically and also to experience what the other did. Pain, joy, even orgasm, which made for an intense bedroom experience. Parthalan had forced me to sever the connection, and if I didn’t, he’d have killed Liam.

I hated Parthalan for a lot of reasons, but that one sat high on the list, right after the murder of my family. No way would I ever want Parthalan the way I wanted Liam. Despite the way I’d reacted to Parthalan right after the bond, I wouldn’t allow some metaphysical rubber band to let me forget what the psycho prick had done to me.

Stifling a shudder, I went to Liam. His bones cracked and shifted, white feathers sprouting as his body elongated. Talons grew where his feet had been, and I watched in wonder, astounded he wasn’t hollering with the pain of it. He’d told me the first shift had been painful, but his body had learned and no longer registered the hurt that accompanied it. I wasn’t sure if I believed him. Maybe he was being his typical macho self. Either way, it impressed the hell out of me.

Not that I’d tell him. If his head swelled any bigger, he might topple over.

Before me stood a snowy owl with large, yellow eyes. They twinkled as if he found something funny—probably the stupid expression I was sure must have been on my face.
I climbed his back and looked back at a scowling Nix, a grinning Cas, and my father who stared at me as if it would be the last time. My wave didn’t seem to reassure him, but at least he returned it.

As Liam extended his wings and launched us into the air, I tried not to think about Brígh’s words—
tonight will be a bitch for you
. She’d never been the bravest soul, so if she’d seen me battling some beastie or getting hurt, it would have freaked her out.

If only I could convince the prickles wandering my spine that’s what she’d seen.

14

The darkness turned the forest into a still painting of triangular shapes and layered shadows beyond the Light I emitted. Liam and I stood in front of two amulets hanging in midair, but neither of us reached for them. One had the same eye shape carved into it, and the other sported a curved feather, the same two we’d chosen for ourselves the first time.

“You look scared.” Liam stared at me until I squirmed. Despite the cold and his complete lack of clothes, he didn’t seem the slightest bit uncomfortable. I hoped the elves didn’t have issues with nudity. “The only other time I’ve seen you look this way was when I smashed into the Unseelie Court when Parthalan was about to take you as his mate.”

“I’m not …” I heaved out a sigh. He knew me better than anyone, and telling him I wasn’t scared skinny would only have made him pry harder. I didn’t have the strength to fight the truth to save face. For once, I wasn’t sure I cared if he saw my weakness. “Brígh saw something.” My fingers worried over one another as I told him what she’d said about my date with the elves.

“She’s not exactly the bravest of your crew, Lila.” His brow arched, and he scrutinized my face as if looking for a reason why I might have put so much weight into her words. “She could have seen an earthworm crawl on you, and she’d run screaming.”

“She’s been off training with someone, and … she’s different now, more mature, more … worldly.” I grunted and tugged at the collar of my sweater, hot and cold at once. “I don’t know, but the way she said it … I know there’s more to it than what she could tell me. The way she looked at me …” I shrugged and turned my attention back to the amulets. “What do you suppose the eye means? It looks different than the one on the door the first time we went to Dun Bray.”

“Maybe it references your Sight of the Goddess?”

“Maybe.” My feet shifted back and forth.

Liam slipped his fingers over mine and brought them to his mouth, pressing his lips against them. “You’re the strongest person I know. Whatever this is, you’ll overcome.”

My lips crooked up in an uncontainable grin. Everyone else, Gallagher, Nix, even my father still treated me like an alien child who’d landed on a foreign planet. Liam’s confidence in me drove back some of my doubt.

I planted a peck on his cheek. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

Instead of grabbing his own necklace, Liam grasped the leather rope of mine. I took his, and together we slung them over each other’s heads.

The world rippled and faded, and although I expected to be attacked by the spins, they didn’t come. The iron leached energy out of me. My eyelids drooped. Instead of landing on the hilltop where we ended up the last time, Liam and I blinked into existence beside the fountain.

“That was different.” He rubbed his temple as he gazed around the empty town square.

“At least I don’t feel like barfing this time.” I scrubbed my forehead, trying to get at the squeeze on my brain. “Where do you suppose everyone is? I expected Galati at least.” I had to admit I wasn’t looking forward to getting Liam together with her again—especially with his wonderland on display. I stilled my body, listening, smelling. Watching.

Clouds obscured most of the giant moons. Not a whisper of a breeze disturbed the forest. No animals made sounds of any kind; no footsteps disturbed the silence, not even a faint murmur of voices. No light shone out from around the doors in the overgrown trees. “I think my training has started. I think I’m supposed to find them.”

“How are you supposed to do that wearing iron?” Liam gestured to my amulet.

“Crap. I guess that means I can’t use my Sight, not that I think it would work here, anyway. Wherever ‘here’ is.” I met his gaze—one that reflected the unease stomping around inside me. “I’ll start doing it the old fashioned way, and hopefully something will come to me.”

“I’ll—”

“No.” I held my hand up to stop the step he was poised to take. “I need to do this alone. You know that.”

He offered an indulgent smile. “I was going to say, I’ll wait here and keep watch.”

“Oh.” As I stared at the king, at his pensive expression, and lower along his tight body, I began to wonder if someone had given him advice the way Brígh had done for me. “You’re different.”

“I’m trying to be what
you
need instead of what I
think
you need.” He gave a quick shrug as if doubting himself. That sounded like Cas talking. “And you’re stalling.”

I sighed, glowing inside at his change and longing to keep him with me, to rub my body all over his nakedness. “You’re right, I am. I’m going now.”

Wide tree trunks and multicolored foliage jutted out from branches several stories up. I looked for the best place to start a game of hide and seek. Although I knew it wouldn’t work, I closed my eyes and summoned my Sight. My energy sparked and fizzled, giving me only a blank canvas with dim outlines. I’d have to do it the hard way.
Perfect.

As I walked along the stone path between the trees, I tuned in with my ears. Upon passing the fifth tree, one with shining, silver bark, a scuffling sound from within halted my progress. Instead of a door handle, a chrome sun sat in the middle of the entrance. A glance back showed Liam eying me from where he’d perched on the fountain ledge, his posture as rigid as the stone beneath his ass.

Here goes nothing.

I grasped the sun. A twist and a push opened the door to a pool of inky darkness that the bit of moonlight seeping past the clouds didn’t penetrate. Groping, my hands in front of me, I shuffled into the murky void. “Laerni?”

Once I cleared the frame, the door slammed behind me. My muscles leapt so hard, pain shouted from every corner of my body. The only sounds rising and falling in the silence were my raspy breaths and the thundering of my heart. “Alogason?”

A tiny, clacking sound rattled in the distance
. How big is this place?
The sudden echo disoriented me. I hadn’t heard it when I’d shouted for the elf mistress, but a little tick bounced back and forth, far enough away it could have been miles.

The clack came again. Closer. Louder. I held my breath and pushed out my Sight on instinct, but the Goddess had no life inside the cave. Still, I sensed something nearing me—a pressure on my mind like the onset of a wicked storm. My pulse jumped out of my neck as I oriented myself to the direction of the noise, crouching, clenching my fists. Because of the amulet, I couldn’t summon my Light, either.

Another sound came from my right. The shifting of dirt. I groped back the way I’d come in and walked several yards before I became hopelessly lost. Had the door vanished? With nothing left to do, I gave myself over to my senses, let them control me as I had during my training with Nix. The next shift at my rear snapped me around.

Screeching a battle cry, I struck out and made contact with something solid. It squealed and hissed in protest. “Shit!” Hyperventilating, I ran, blind to the room, using only my senses to guide me. Was it Alastair? Fucking elves set me up!

Against my better judgment, I screamed, “Liam!” I called multiple times, but only my echo returned. Scenarios scrambled through my mind, each one worse than the last.
Oh, Goddess, Liam! Was he dead? Had the Shadowborn snatched my soul away, and my brain hadn’t caught on yet? Were all the elves dead, too? What would happen to Brígh if I died?
I ran for a small eternity, unbecoming sounds trickling from my lips as I worked to control my breathing so I wouldn’t pass out. Shuffling approached from behind. Tired of running, I stopped and listened until I pinpointed the direction and struck out with everything I had.

Whatever my foot made contact with hissed and whined. Glowing ice-blue eyes appeared before me, hovering in the darkness.

“Hello, Princess.” Parthalan’s smooth voice slithered into the room like a seductive melody.

“No,” I whispered as I turned and ran. Every tendon in my legs grew taut and pumped like pistons to propel me away from my worst nightmare. No matter how far I went, his laughter remained right behind me.

“You can’t run from me. You don’t want to,” he said. “You feel me inside you still. You want to regain our united power, the ecstasy we shared as a bonded pair.”

“The hell I do.” I stopped and hugged myself, my extremities quaking. No amount of willing it so took the shake out of my voice. A glance over my shoulder brought Parthalan’s face into view, as pale and beautiful as ever, illuminated by a bright source from somewhere above. “I don’t want you.”

“Are you sure?” Liam appeared beside him, his eyes narrowed, and his voice crackling with rage. “That’s why you hold part of yourself back from me, isn’t it? You want him, not me.”

“No, Liam, I—”

“Tell him, Princess,” Parthalan cooed. “Tell him how you felt when we were together, the force of our mingled energy, the raw passion we shared. And I’m sure Nix would like to know who your father is.”

The captain of my guard came from behind me, his face aglow like the others. “Have you lied to me, Lila? Are you a filthy half-breed like the Unseelie king?” He gestured to Liam with a flick of his hand.

Acid boiled in my stomach, twisting it into knots. “I tried to tell you—”

“And you wanted to make a baby with him. Half-breeds can’t bear children, didn’t you know that?” His perfect lips curled into a sneer, and his deep blue eyes turned hard as ice. “They’re abominations, just like you.”

This isn’t real. This can’t be real.
“Why are you saying this?” The words blurted out, mixed up with a wail.

More footsteps approached from the darkness, and Donovan’s face emerged, his goatee appearing much darker and his expression more sinister than he’d ever looked. “What can you expect from a female who caused the destruction of an entire family?” He pounded his chest with his fist, his voice rising to a roar. “My family!”

“You killed me, Lila,” Garret whispered from right beside me.

From my other ear, my mother’s voice breathed, “You’ll never be fit to be queen.”