Shameless (27 page)

“I didn’t want anything to change, Sierra. I was happy with the way things were.”

She sat perched on the edge of an oversized chair that had once been her favorite reading chair. “I said I’m sorry, Trey. I was wrong. I know that now.” She pulled her jacket tighter around her midsection. “I don’t expect you to understand or forgive me...”

“Is that what you want, for me to forgive you? You came here today because you want closure so you can move on with your life?” She was crazy if she thought he was going to make this easy for her. She may choose to walk out on him again, but he intended to make sure it was the hardest thing she’d ever done.

She frowned, looking confused. “No, I came here because I wanted to apologize again and...”

He crossed the room toward the mini-bar. His hand shook as he picked up the coffee carafe and poured two cups of strong, black coffee. He handed her one of the cups.

“No, thanks. I don’t drink coffee anymore. It’s not good for the—it’s not good for me.”

He set the second cup on the low table between them. “Since when did you give up caffeine? I remember a time when you couldn’t haul your butt out of bed until you had your first cup of coffee.”

They looked at each other and smiled at the memory.

“I didn’t say I didn’t miss it.”

“Guess we all have to make sacrifices for the greater good, don’t we?” He would rather be having this conversation with a stiff drink in his hand, but coffee would have to do.

“Where’s Val?” she asked, looking out into the hall.

“She’s running a few errands.”

“Have you started interviewing other housekeepers?”

“Let’s cut to the chase, Sierra. Tell me why you’re really here.”

She got up and crossed the room. She stood in front of him, close enough to reach out and touch him, but she didn’t. “Were you disappointed when you found out Megan wasn’t pregnant?”

Of all the things he’d expected her to say, he hadn’t expected that. “Why?”

“I guess I want to know how you feel about the possibility of being a father again.”

His heart started beating faster. He had thought about little else over the past several days and he realized how much he wanted the chance to be a father, but he couldn’t imagine sharing a baby with any other woman. Whenever he thought about it, Sierra was holding the baby, rocking her and singing a lullaby as she fell asleep.

If he admitted as much to Sierra, she would always question whether he was satisfied with a child who wasn’t biologically his. He knew it wouldn’t matter as long as they were a family, but he didn’t know how to make her believe that. “I’m not going to lie to you; I do want a family, Sierra. But there are a lot of ways to make that happen.”

The tears fell unchecked down her cheeks and she tentatively raised her hands, flattening them on his chest. “How would you feel about having a baby with me, Trey?”

He closed his eyes and imagined what it would be like to share a beautiful, happy, healthy baby with the love of his life. “It would make me the happiest man alive.”

“You still feel that way, even after I left because of...”

“Sssh.” He touched his fingertips against her lips. “That’s forgiven and forgotten, sweetheart. Lord knows I’ve made my fair share of mistakes. You’ve made a few too. I guess that makes us human, doesn’t it?”

She smiled through her tears. “I do forgive you, but I may need a little help forgiving myself,” she whispered.

He touched his lips against hers and smiled. “I can help you with that. Wait right here, I have something for you.” He set his mug down and walked toward the writing desk. He withdrew a small velvet box from a locked drawer. “I bought this before I left for Oklahoma. I wanted to give it to you then, but I made the mistake of getting caught up in the past instead of concentrating on the future.”

She put her hand over her mouth, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

“It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, Sierra. What matters is that we won’t make the same mistakes again. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work, honey. I love you. I had no idea how much until I’d lost you. I can’t stand the thought of losing you again.” He opened the box to reveal a flawless three-carat, marquis-cut diamond on a narrow, white gold band. “Please, say you’ll marry me.”

She shook her head. “I can’t, not yet.”

He felt the tension coiling in his gut. This was his worst nightmare; she was turning him down. “Are you saying you don’t love me or you’re not ready to marry me?”

She grabbed his hand. “Trey, I do love you. I want to marry you, but first, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“I’m pregnant.”

The words echoed in his head. Logically, he understood what they meant, but he couldn’t allow himself to believe them. “How is that possible? I thought you said...”

She shook her head. “That’s what the doctors thought, Trey. I was so sure it wasn’t possible that I thought it was safe to make love without birth control. I’m sorry; I know this must come as a shock to you.”

He threw his head back and laughed. “You’re sorry? Are you serious? You’re carrying my baby and you’re sorry?”

She still looked scared, uncertain. “I didn’t want you to think that I’d tricked you or that I’d gotten pregnant on purpose. The odds of me getting pregnant were slim to none, or so I thought.”

He smiled, cupping her face in his hands. “Then I guess we got our miracle, didn’t we?”

She looked into his eyes, smiling. “I think so too.” Her smile faded. “But I’m not out of the woods yet. I haven’t passed the three month mark and the doctor said bed rest may be required at some point.”

“Then I’ll just have to wait on you day and night until our beautiful baby is born.” He kissed her lips gently.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that, Trey.”

He kissed her again. “You didn’t ask. I offered.”

“What about the album, the tour?”

“Maybe it’s time I thought about taking a hiatus.”

She looked at him, wide-eyed. “What are you talking about? Why?”

“Because I’ve realized some things are more important than my career. Namely, you and this sweet baby you’re carrying.” He placed his palm over her stomach. “Nothing means more to me than that, sweetheart.”

She stood on her tippy-toes to wrap her arms around his neck. She kissed him repeatedly, giggling between kisses. “I love you so much.”

He laughed and held up the ring box. “Does that mean you’ll agree to be my wife again?”

She laughed and held her left hand out. “Yes, yes, yes.”

He noticed the slight tremor in her hand as he slid it on. “It’s a perfect fit. That’s the ring you deserved the first time around.”

“Sssh. I don’t want to think about the past anymore. I want to think about today and tomorrow, and every day after that.” She grabbed his left hand. “In fact, I think it’s time we took this off.”

She looked at him as she slipped the diamond-encrusted wedding band off his finger.

His first impulse was to stop her. He hadn’t taken that ring off since the day she put it on.

“Why do you want me to take it off?”

“It represents our past, Trey. I want to give you a ring that represents our future.” She held up her own left hand. “Just like this ring does.”

He smiled. “Whatever you want, baby. As long as I get to make you my wife, I’ll tattoo a wedding ring on my finger if that’s what makes you happy.”

She grinned, tugging on the front of his shirt. “I like the sound of that.” 

He seized her hand, leading her back through the foyer down a long hallway toward the master suite. She paused at the double door entry to the room. He knew what she was thinking, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to make love to another woman in their home, much less their bed. “I haven’t been with another woman in this bed, Sierra.”

She looked up at him, surprised. “How did you know what I was thinking?”

He chuckled. “I know you better than anyone, sweetheart.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. “I’m not going to pretend I’ve been a saint, but some things are sacred to me. Like our home and our bed.”

She looked around the room. “I’m glad you didn’t erase all of our memories. I’ve always loved this house.”

He tipped her chin with his finger. “So do I, now that you’re back. The last few years it’s seemed like more of a mausoleum than a home.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Let’s start making new memories here.” She kissed him deeply, thoroughly, until he kicked the door closed with his boot and backed her up against it. She shed her coat and let it fall to the floor at their feet as he tangled his hands in her hair.

“I need you,” he whispered, grinding his arousal into her stomach. He pulled back suddenly. “Wait, is this safe? I mean, we’re not going to hurt the baby, are we?” Even if he had to take a dozen cold showers every day for the next seven months, he would do anything to keep his baby safe.

She smiled and stroked his cheek. “The doctor assured me it’s perfectly safe, don’t worry.”

He picked her up and carried her across the room, setting her down gently in the middle of the king-sized bed. He leaned over her, bracing his weight on his hands. “It’s feels like I’ve been waiting for this forever, having you here, back in our bed.”

She stroked his shoulders and tried to draw him closer.

“Wait,” he said, stepping back. His fingers flew over the buttons of his shirt, anxious to shed the obstacles between them. Once he was rid of his shirt, he reached down and began to unbutton hers, slowly, reverently. He wanted to enjoy every second of their reunion. He watched her closely as her eyes drifted closed.

Her tongue peeked out, moistening her bottom lip.

He bit back a groan as he spread her shirt open. She had gorgeous breasts, even fuller now than they had been the last time. His trembling fingers worked the front closure of her black, lacy bra until it fell open, revealing a delicacy he was desperate to feast on. He lowered his head and drew a taut, rosy nipple into his mouth.

She moaned and threaded her hands in his hair. “Ah, yes, Trey.”

He squeezed her breasts together so he could give both equal attention. He laved and sucked her nipples in a lazy circle until she was thrusting her hips off the bed, begging for more. Releasing her button and zipper, he slid her pants down her toned legs. He paused at the end of the bed, indulging in the image of her nearly naked, aroused, and begging him to make love to her. 

“Trey, please,” she whispered, spreading her legs.

He slipped her black, lacy thong off and let it fall to the floor. He slid her down to the edge of the bed and wrapped his hands around her thighs, spreading her legs as he knelt down in front of her. “I need to taste you, sweetheart,” he whispered. The first touch of his breath teasing her intimate flesh set her off like a volcanic eruption of hot lava pouring over his tongue and into his mouth. He continued to stroke and probe her until she was throbbing and begging him for mercy.

He stood and quickly discarded the rest of his clothes. Easing his body over hers, he was careful to support his weight on his forearms. As he lifted her hair away from her neck, he sought the sensitive spot at the base of her throat. Drawing the sensitive flesh into his mouth gently, he caressed it with his tongue until she began torturing him by rubbing her nipples against his chest. He devoured her mouth, intent on punishing her for stripping him of his hard-fought control, but as soon as he penetrated the warm cavern of her mouth and felt her tongue stroking his, he forgot about the need for revenge and focused solely on his need to pleasure her. He made love to her with his mouth, slowly and thoroughly as she matched him stroke for stroke. When he knew she was on the verge of coming again, he slid into her gently until he filled her to the hilt.

He pulled away to look into her eyes. “You okay, baby?”

She shook her head furiously. “I’m better than okay. Make love to me, please. I need you, now.”

He smiled as he met her demands. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to get lost in her. He felt every stroke of her hand, heard every moan, sensed every thrust as her hips rotated to mimic his body’s rising need for release. His sole purpose in that moment was to give her as much pleasure as possible, to make up for all the time they’d lost.