Shameless (22 page)

“I’m aware of your medical diagnosis and I have to say that I concur, but obviously this is one of those rare instances where medical science cannot explain why you were able to conceive naturally.” She closed the file. “I assume this is good news?”

“Yes,” Sierra whispered, still unable to believe her good fortune. She was going to have a baby of her own.

“This pregnancy may prove to be difficult for you. May I ask if you have the support of the father?” 

How was she going to tell Trey about this? Would he think she’d gotten pregnant on purpose after she assured him they wouldn’t have to worry about the risk of pregnancy? “I’m sure he’ll be surprised. We’re divorced, Dr. Lloyd. This pregnancy wasn’t planned.”

The doctor removed her glasses and leaned forward. “I’m not here to pass judgment, Sierra. Normally I wouldn’t ask, but your former husband is Trey Turner, correct?”

Sierra felt her cheeks grow warm under the scrutiny. “Yes.”

“I thought I’d heard of your recent involvement on one of those entertainment shows. I hope he’ll be there to offer his support should you need it.”

Sierra felt uneasy. “Is there something you’re not telling me, Dr. Lloyd? Is my pregnancy at risk?”

“In cases such as yours, it’s often difficult for women to deliver full-term babies. Given your history, we may need to put you on bed rest at some point. We’ll monitor the situation closely.” She withdrew several small booklets from her desk drawer and handed them to Sierra. 

“For now, the best thing you can do for yourself and your baby is to minimize stress, get plenty of rest, maintain a healthy diet, limit weight gain to no more than eight to ten pounds per trimester, and take your pre-natal vitamins. The nurse will schedule your first ultrasound appointment at the desk. Do you have any further questions for me?”

Sierra shook her head numbly. She had just been given the best news she could have hoped for; she was going to get a second chance to be a mother. But how would she survive if she lost this baby too?

She shook the doctor’s hand, thanked her for her time, and stepped out of the office. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She said a silent prayer that her baby would remain safe and protected for the next nine months. 

Chapter Seventeen

Trey leaned back in his chair, feeling a sense of satisfaction that had eluded him since before the accident. He was finally able to write music again, and if his instincts were correct, he had the makings of another platinum-selling album, thanks to Sierra. Ever since the day they spent together in the studio, talking, laughing, and writing, it had been like he found the key to the vault where his creativity had been hiding. The emotion that had been stored away for years came pouring out in the form of lyrics he was finally ready to share with the world. For years, the thought of sharing his personal pain seemed unbearable, but now he could see that sharing his trials had the power to help him heal the past and move forward.

“Knock, knock,” Marisa said, sticking her head in the door. “Can I come in?”

He closed his laptop and gestured to the seat across from him. “Sure, take a load off.”

That was another change that taken place in recent weeks: he no longer felt the need to shut himself off from the rest of the world. He was starting to spend more time with friends and family, spending time in the studio with his band, and even granting a few interviews. The life he had known behind the walls of his studio the past year had gradually started to open up and make way for the world he had cut himself off from. He felt like he was finally starting to forgive himself for the past and accept the fact that he had the potential to be a good father. If only he could share the experience with Sierra instead of Megan.

Marisa snagged a bottle of water from the mini-fridge and sank into the armchair with a deep sigh. “What a day. I went dress shopping with Val.” She winked. “I finally talked her into wearing white.”

Val’s wedding made him think of her departure, something he wasn’t ready to face just yet. It was hard to imagine his house could still feel like a home without her.

The wedding planner he hired had dropped by earlier to share her vision for the grounds, thousands of flowers and sparkling lights, hundreds of yards of imported silk, and impressive tents and botanical arches coming together to create every bride’s fantasy wedding. He couldn’t help but remember another wedding: his and Sierra’s. But there was no sense dwelling on the past; she had made her feelings clear and there was nothing he could do now but respect her wishes and give her the time and space she needed to move on with her life. A life that clearly didn’t include him.

“Val told me about the wedding present you gave them, a Caribbean cruise. That’s so sweet.” 

“She deserves it after putting up with me all these years. I’m glad she’s happy, but I’m not gonna lie to you, Marisa. I’m going to miss her.”

She reached across the desk to grab his hand. “I know you will, but it was time for her to move on. I guess it’s time for you to make some tough decisions too, isn’t it?”

He had been putting off the inevitable for weeks, hoping something would happen to change his circumstances. After a lot of soul searching, he realized he was ready to be a husband and father again, but not like this. Not when he didn’t even like, much less love, the mother of his child.

He thought about what Sierra said about giving his baby a home with two parents, but he couldn’t imagine how sharing a home with Megan would make him or his baby happy. “I’ve already decided I’m not going to marry Megan.”

She sat back and stared at him. “Good for you. I think you’re making the right decision, Trey.”

“You do? I’m surprised to hear you say that. Our parents seem to share Sierra’s opinion about what I should do. I thought you’d agree with them.”

She crossed her ankles and leaned her head against the chair frame. “Honestly, the idea of having Megan as a sister-in-law doesn’t give me a warm and fuzzy feeling, but it’s more than that. I stood by and watched you make a mistake with Sierra. I don’t want to see that happen again.” 

“You think marrying Sierra was a mistake?”

She shook her head. “No, dummy, I think divorcing her was a mistake.”

He chuckled at his sister’s
candor
. He could always count on her to be honest with him. “It’s not like I had a choice. She told me she wanted a divorce and there was nothing I could say or do to change her mind, so there was no point fighting it. I’d already hurt her enough. If she wanted to leave me, I had no choice but to let her go.”

“Ever wonder why she was so adamant about it?”

Trey took a sip from the bottle of water in front of him. He had begun to replace alcohol with water and found he was feeling better, both physically and mentally. There was no more dehydration, headaches, hangovers, or dizzy spells. Things had definitely begun to come into clear focus since he stopped using alcohol as a tonic to heal all that ailed him.

“Of course I’ve wondered why Sierra insisted on a divorce instead of a trial separation. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve wasted trying to figure out where it all went wrong, how I could have done things differently.”

“It’s just not like Sierra to give up on something without a fight, you know? I know you guys were in a bad place after Callie died. You were on the road, drinking, partying, but why didn’t she ever try to reach you, to force you to go into marriage counseling?”

“She mentioned that to me recently. She said maybe we should have tried harder to make our marriage work.” 

Marisa worked at peeling the label off the plastic bottle. “That’s what I mean. Something doesn’t make sense. If there’s one thing I’ve never doubted, it’s how you two feel about each other. Why would she be willing to just walk away from that?”

He propped his elbows on the desk, dropping his face into his hands. He was tired, tired of trying to make sense of a situation that didn’t make sense. There was no logical reason for two people who loved each other as much as they did to walk away without a fight, then or now. He looked across the desk at his sister. “You’re right; it doesn’t make sense to just walk away.”

She frowned. “Isn’t that the point I was making?”

“I’m not talking about what happened back then. I’m talking about now.”

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“I’ve respected Sierra’s wishes for the past couple of months. I’ve kept my distance, haven’t contacted her, though Lord knows I’ve wanted to at least a thousand times.”

Marisa smiled. “I’ll bet you did.”

“I’m allowing her to push me away again, even though that’s not what I want. I need her in my life and I think she needs me too.”

“Agreed. So what are you going to do to convince her to give you another chance?”

“I don’t know yet. I’m going to see Megan today. She has a doctor’s appointment and I’m going with her. Maybe we can talk, agree to some kind of arrangement. I could certainly make it worth her while to be reasonable about this. If I can work this out, maybe Sierra could find a way to accept this baby as part of her life.”

“You know how much Sierra loves children, Trey. I don’t think that would be as much of an issue as some of the other things she’s concerned about. Namely your career, the travel schedule, not to mention the drinking.”

He reached into the desk and pulled out a small, circular chip. He slid it across the desk. “Sixty days sober. I know this is a battle I’ll have to fight every day for the rest of my life, but I feel like I’m in a good place now. I’m thinking clearly and I know what I want.”

She grinned at him. “I’m so proud of you. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy.”

He smiled back. “As for my career, I don’t know how that’s going to play out. God knows I’ve made enough money to quit whenever I feel like it, but I’m not sure that I’m there yet, you know? I feel like I’ve still got a lot of good years left to make music. But if I had to choose between Sierra and my career, I’d choose Sierra.”

Marisa smiled. “Seriously? You’d give up everything just to be with her again?”

He didn’t even have to think about it. “I’d give it up in a heartbeat, sis.”

“Maybe you won’t have to. Maybe you guys could find a way to have it all. She could tour with you, collaborate with you. You could bring her into your world instead of trying to keep her out.”

He looked at his sister intently. “You think I did that last time, tried to shut her out?”

“Yeah, you did. But I trust you’ve learned your lesson?”

“Oh yeah, I can guarantee I’ll never be repeating those mistakes again. That is, if I can find a way to convince her to give me another chance.”

Marisa smiled, looking wistful. “I hope she does. She’s lucky to have a man who loves her as much you do. What I wouldn’t give to have someone like that in my life.”

“What about Josh? Things not working out?”

She sighed. “He’s a great guy, but we’ve decided we’re better off as friends.”

“Why’s that?”

She rolled her eyes. “I think you know why.”

“Luc?”

“Hasn’t it always been about Luc?”

“I think it’s time that guy got his shit together. Doesn’t he realize that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him?”

She came around the desk to give him a hug. “Thanks for saying that. I needed a shot of self-confidence today.” 

Trey eased his Porsche into a parking space in the visitor’s lot of the newer apartment building complex and cut the engine. He stared up at the nondescript windows, wondering whether he was ready to have this conversation. He had rehearsed it in his mind dozens of times, consulted his legal team about the offer he planned to make, and prayed that he would be able to help Megan see reason. Everything was riding on this; he had to make her understand that this arrangement would benefit everyone involved.

He got out of the car and pulled his cowboy hat down so it was covering his eyes. The press hadn’t been as relentless lately, but if they found out about this appointment, he was sure to have unwanted company. His security team wanted to accompany him, but he had insisted on doing this alone. An entourage would only draw attention to him and he needed to preserve his privacy now more than ever.

He turned his back to the security cameras and used the wall phone to call up to her apartment. It was a nice enough building, he noted, but it didn’t compare to the luxurious penthouse suite she would be able to afford with his generous settlement offer.