Shameless (20 page)

“You never get over having the kind of father I did.” She fought back the tears. No matter how many years had passed, she still longed for the childhood she never had. “Don’t be the kind of man my father was; be someone your son or daughter can count on.”

He stared at her. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you enough to let you go, Trey.”

Chapter Fifteen

Sierra had made the rounds and said her good-byes to Marisa and Josh, Jared, Elaine, and Val.

Her last stop was Jimmy’s. She wandered in with a heavy heart. They had gone to great lengths to help her and Trey find their way back to each other. It wasn’t going to be easy to tell them their efforts were in vain.

“There she is,” Edna said, with a smile and wave from behind the bar. “We wondered when you’d get here.” She looked toward the front door. “Where’s your stuff, honey?”

Sierra settled on a bar stool in front of Edna, trying to decide where to begin.

“Looks like you could use a drink. What’ll it be?”

Alcohol wasn’t going to solve her problems. Nothing would. “I’ll just have a ginger ale, thanks.”

“Comin’ right up, sugar.”

Sierra watched her, trying to find the right words to explain her decision.

“There you go,” she said, setting the tall glass in front of her. “Now why don’t you tell me what’s got you so down?”

She took a sip of the cool liquid to coat her dry throat. “Guess you haven’t heard the news?”

She wiped her hands on the apron tied around her midsection. “If it’s bad, I don’t want to hear it.”

“I guess that depends on who you ask. Trey’s gonna be a daddy.”

Her head shot up. “Are you tellin’ me you and Trey...”

“No, Trey and Megan are going to have a baby, Edna.”

Edna frowned. “Megan? Isn’t she that redhead from last night? Wasn’t she Luc’s date?”

Sierra nodded. “Apparently, she and Trey have been seeing each other for a couple of months.”

Edna swiped a damp cloth across the bar top, scowling. “That damn fool. He should know better than to...”

Sierra interrupted. She hated to even think about it, much less discuss it. “He said he took the necessary precautions, but it wasn’t enough.”

“Well ain’t that a kick in the pants?” She put her hand over Sierra’s. “I’m sorry, honey.”

She tried to smile, but her lip trembled instead. “Thanks, Edna. Hey, it is what it is, right? I’m sure Trey will be a great daddy. That baby is going to be lucky to have him.”

Edna nodded, agreeing. “What about the mama?”

“I don’t know what Trey is going to do.” She looked at Edna. “I told him I thought he should marry her.”

“You know I’m of a different generation, honey. We believed a baby needed a mama and daddy livin’ under one roof, but times have changed. There are lots of babies who do just fine with one parent.”

She wrapped her hands around the glass, needing something solid to hold on to. “Depending on the parent, I guess. I know what it was like in my house after Mama died. Daddy was drunk all the time. I had to practically raise my little sister by myself. It wasn’t easy.”

“No child should have to go through that.”

“No, every child deserves to know they have two parents who loved them enough to at least try to give them the home they deserved. That’s why I told Trey to marry Megan. Maybe it’ll work. Maybe it won’t, but they won’t know unless they try.”

“What about you? What are you gonna do, honey?”

“About the job offer...”

“You’re not gonna stay, are you?”

She tried to blink the tears away. “I can’t, Edna. Is that going to be a problem for you and Jimmy?”

She smiled, patting her head. “Don’t you worry about us; we’ll be fine. You just do what you need to do.”

She propped her elbows on the bar, chin in her hands. “That’s just it, Edna. I don’t know what to do. I ended things with Eric.”

“Can’t say that I’m sorry to hear that, if you wanna know the truth.”

Sierra chuckled. “Now you sound like my sister.”

“Smart girl, that one.”

“Yeah, well, now I have to figure out where to go from here.”

“Nashville has always been your home, honey. Why don’t you stay?”

“I can’t, Edna. It’ll be hard enough to see Trey’s picture splashed all over the newsstands. Living here, we’d be bound to run into each other. I don’t think I could deal with that.”

“So you’re going back to Oklahoma?”

“For now, at least. Lexi is living in Arkansas; I might go out there and stay with her for a while, see if I like it. I’ve got a lot going on with the foundation, which should help to keep my mind off things.” 

“You’re gonna find your place, girl. I know it.”

“I thought I had, Edna. I thought my place was here, with all of you, but I guess that wasn’t meant to be.”

“Hey, I don’t want to hear you talk like that. We’ll always be here for you, darlin’. As far as Jim and I are concerned, you’re family.”

“Thanks. That means a lot.”

“You’re gonna find that man. The one who wants what you want: a simple life, a house full of babies, and...”

Sierra started to cry in earnest. She dropped her head into her hands, ashamed of her outburst.

Edna came around the bar and drew her into her arms. “Hey, what did I say, sugar?”

“I can’t have any more babies.” She allowed the tears to fall unchecked. Eric was the only other person she had ever told. Given his age and condition, it was a given they would never have children. Sierra suspected that was the reason she had agreed to marry him when he asked. She would have the support of a life partner without having to feel as though she were cheating someone else out of their dreams of having a family.

Edna stroked her hair. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. When did you find out?”

“I found out after Callie died.” She sniffled. “Trey was on the road and by the time he got back, I knew our marriage was over, so I didn’t see any point telling him.”

Edna held her at arm’s length. “He was still your husband, Sierra. You should have told him.” She looked at her carefully. “Did that figure into your decision to divorce him?”

Sierra looked away. “I knew how much he wanted a baby. Our marriage was already falling apart. If he had learned about my condition, he would have stayed because he felt guilty, but eventually he would have come to resent the fact that I couldn’t give him the family he wanted.” She eased out of Edna’s arms, settling back on the stool. “Now, he’s getting what he’s always wanted, a baby and a family of his own.”

Edna sat on the stool beside her, grabbing her hands. “Trey loves you, girl. Don’t ever doubt that. You’re the one he wants, the one he’s always wanted. If you hadn’t been able to have a baby the old-fashioned way, you would have found a way to make it happen another way. That was no reason to give up on your marriage.”

She suddenly felt bone tired. It had been a
grueling
few days and she just wanted to fall into bed and sleep for a week. “Is that why you lured me back here? You thought Trey and I might be able to work out our differences?”

Edna sighed, not looking the least bit contrite about being ousted. “I knew his family was worried sick about him and I knew you weren’t happy, no matter how hard you tried to pretend you were.”

“I’m glad I came back. Thank you, Edna.”

She snorted. “Hell, I don’t know why you’re thankin’ me. I’m surprised you’re still speakin’ to me.”

Sierra leaned over and gave her friend a quick hug. “I know you were meddling because you care.”

“I love you both,” she said, seizing Sierra’s chin in her hand. “I just want you kids to be happy.”

“We will find a way to be happy, just not together.”

Trey walked in the door and the familiar scent of cinnamon rolls assailed him, Sierra’s favorite. He followed the scent toward the kitchen and saw Val with her back turned to him, looking out the kitchen window. “You haven’t made those in years. What’s the occasion?”

She turned to face him, tears in her eyes. “Sierra was here to say good-bye.”

He felt the news physically, like a fist to the gut. “So she really is leaving? I was hoping she’d reconsider.”

Val pulled out a chair at the kitchen table. “Sit down, Trey. We need to talk.”

He knew Val well and could always tell when something was wrong. He straddled the chair next to her so he could look her directly in the eye. “What is it? What’s wrong? You’re not sick, are you?”

She smiled and touched his cheek. “No, I’m fine. Better than fine.”

He frowned, puzzled. She didn’t look fine. She looked distraught. “Are you sure?”

She withdrew a tissue from the pocket of her apron and dabbed at her nose. “Trey, I’ve made a decision.”

He braced his hands against the chair, trying to prepare himself for the news. “Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to be happy about this?”

“I hope you’ll be happy for me.”  She looked at him, her eyes filling with unshed tears. “I’m getting married.”

He got up and knelt down at her side, pulling her into his arms. “Congratulations, Val. I’m thrilled for you, really.”

She hugged him back, hard. “Sit down. There’s more.”

He reclaimed his chair, waiting for her to continue.

“Terrance and I are moving to Florida, honey.”

He felt the room shift almost as though a tremor had moved through and once again rocked his world. “Are you serious? Why Florida? Why not stay here with the people who love you?”

She smiled, touching his forearm. “I never thought I’d fall in love again after George died. We had twenty-five wonderful years together, and when I lost him, there was a huge void in my life. That’s when I came here to work for you and Sierra. You two became like family to me, the children I never had.” She wiped at the tears sliding down her cheeks. “It was hard to watch you two drift apart, and after Callie died, well, nothing was ever the same, was it?”

He tried to swallow the lump threatening to choke him. It was hard enough to think about losing Sierra, but it was nearly impossible to think about the baby they’d lost.

“I’d never seen two people more in love than you and Sierra.” She smiled wistfully. “Reminded me of George and me when we were young.”

He gripped her shoulder, understanding the pain she must have endured when she lost the love of her life.

“This house was a home then, Trey. You were both so happy, excited about the future, planning a wonderful life together. Then she left. This home that you two built together became an empty shell, sort of like you.”

He knew Val was right. He felt empty and hollow inside and his house definitely wasn’t a home anymore. It was a museum, a sad tribute to the life they’d once shared. “You’re right about everything. I’m sorry; I guess I was so wrapped up in my own grief I didn’t think about what that must have been like for you, how difficult it must have been for you to live in a place that didn’t feel like home anymore.”

“I’d like to make a new home with Terrence, Trey. I hope I have your blessing.”

He reached over to kiss her tear-stained cheek. “You know you do, but does it have to be in Florida?”

“He has family there, two children and four grandchildren. He bought a little house there a few years back and that’s where he wants to retire.”

“What about you? Is that what you want, Val?”

She shook her head. “It is, honey. I’ve thought about this for a long time. Leaving you will be the hardest part; you’re like family.”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you,” he admitted, drawing a deep breath. Just when he thought he had nothing else to lose, he learned he did. 

“You have some difficult decisions to make, young man. Have you decided what you’re going to do?”

“Sierra told you about the baby?”