Shameless (17 page)

“No, it’s simple. Either you’re in love with him or you aren’t.”

“I am,” she said softly.

He looked across the dance floor at his wife, now dancing in the arms of her son. “If you’re lucky, you find the love of your life. I know some people who never get that lucky.” He smiled at Sierra. “I met mine when I was seventeen and I’ve thanked God for her every day since. Hell, I don’t know what I’d do without that little lady; she’s my rock.”

She struggled to swallow the lump of emotion in her throat. That’s the kind of love she wanted, a love like Trey’s parents had: devotion and commitment that spanned a lifetime.

He looked her in the eye again. “This man you’re marrying, Eric, is he the one? Is he the love of your life, darlin’?”

“I, uh...”

“Not a difficult question, Sierra. If he is, you’d be able to tell me right away. If he isn’t, well, I’d sure hate to see you make another mistake.”

“Meaning you think I made a mistake when I married your son?”

He smiled, the light never reaching his eyes. “No, I think you made the mistake when you divorced him.”

Chapter Thirteen

“What’s wrong, Trey?” Elaine Turner asked as they twirled around the dance floor.

He smiled down at his mother, trying to put her mind at ease. She had spent the better part of his life worrying about him. It was time for her to slow down, relax, and enjoy life. He hoped the three-month world cruise he was giving his father for his birthday would be a good start.

“Nothing, Ma. Everything’s fine.”

She scoffed, her brows drawn together in a deep line. “Don’t lie to me, Trey Turner. I can see right through you.”

He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “Okay, I’ve completely screwed up my life. Is that better?”

She laughed, sweeping a hand over her stylishly cropped salt and pepper hair. “At least you’re being honest; that’s a start. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

“Why don’t you start by telling me what’s going on between you and my daughter-in-law?”

Trey laughed. “She’s not your daughter-in-law anymore, Ma.”

She waved a manicured hand in the air. “That’s merely a technicality. A piece of paper doesn’t change the way you feel about someone.” She looked at him pointedly. “In my heart, she’ll always be my daughter.”

He looked into his mother’s clear green eyes, thinking how much he admired her loyalty. She was a kind, gentle woman, but a force to be reckoned with if crossed. “I’m sorry. I never thought about how my actions must have hurt you and Dad.”

“You mean the divorce?” she asked, glancing at Sierra.

He shook his head. He hated that word, hated the finality it represented. “I didn’t think about anyone but myself back then.”

She patted his shoulder. “You were grieving, son. Everyone grieves in their own way.”

He dropped his head, feeling ashamed to be admitting to the mistakes that his mother tried to prevent him from making. “You tried to warn me. You told me if I left Sierra to go on tour, she may not be there when I got back. She was there physically, but she’d already checked out emotionally.”

His mother pinned him with the intensity of a stare that still made him squirm. “Can you blame her?” 

“No, of course I don’t blame her. It was my fault. I own that.”

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

“I’m going to do everything in my power to regain her trust. I still love her; hell, I still want to spend the rest of my life with her.”

She smiled. “Then don’t give up, Trey. I have a feeling Sierra may want the same thing.”    

Sierra woke up the morning after the birthday party cursing the ringing phone on her bedside table. She tried to focus on the bright red numbers on the digital alarm clock: 6:32 a.m.

She picked up the phone, mumbling a barely audible, “Hello.”

“Would you care to explain what the hell you were doing screwing your ex-husband last night?”

Sierra shot up in bed. “Eric, what are you talking about?”

“The pictures are all over the internet, Sierra. You had sex with that man last night, didn’t you?”

She thought about trying to defend herself, but was too ashamed. It didn’t matter whether they had engaged in sex or not; the truth was, she had been unfaithful. “I’m sorry, Eric,” she whispered. “I was going to tell you what happened.”

“That’s mighty big of you. Do you have any idea how this makes me look? I have a reputation to consider, you little twit.”

She bristled at his words, but her own actions prevented her from turning this around on him.

She needed to take responsibility for what happened last night. She pulled her fingers through her tousled hair, considering her words carefully. “I’m sorry, Eric. I made a...” She hesitated to call it a mistake. How could something that felt so good, so right, have been a mistake?

“I should have known this would happen. That man is a no good, lying, cheating scumbag. He has no morals, no conscience...”

“Eric, please stop. This isn’t Trey’s fault. I was a willing participant.” She closed her eyes, remembering just how willing she had been.

“Is he with you now?” he demanded, his voice shaky.

“What? No, Marisa and Josh dropped me off at my hotel room last night.”
In spite of Trey’s vehement protests
, she thought.

“We need to talk face-to-face and I want to have a word with that ex of yours. No one is going to take what’s mine without a fight. I’ll clear the docket and...”

“Eric, wait.” She took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to say what he needed to hear. “I hate that I hurt you, but...”

“It’s okay, Sierra. I’ll admit I’m furious, but I don’t blame you. You were a victim in all of this, star-struck by some jackass who enjoys using women to make himself feel like more of a man.”

Star struck? She rarely thought of Trey’s notoriety. To her, he was the man who ran out to get her ice cream in the middle of the night, rubbed her feet at the end of a long day, gave her a massage to relieve tension before an exam, bought her stuffed teddy bears because she’d never had any growing up, paid her father’s funeral expenses, and held her when she cried. He was the love of her life. She sat in the middle of the bed staring at the phone, stunned. How could she have been so blind? She was so fixated on everything Trey had done wrong that she forgot about all the things he had done right. She had allowed a few bad months to erase eleven amazing years. Trey was right; they did deserve a second chance.

“I don’t want to have this conversation over the phone, but I don’t see that we have a choice. I can’t marry you, Eric. I’m sorry.”

There was a long pause. “I know you feel guilty about what happened, but that’s no reason to call off our engagement. You agreed to marry me and I trust you’ll honor that commitment. Now, if you don’t want me to come there, then you should come home. We’ll sort out this mess when you get here.”

He hadn’t heard a word she said. “Eric, I can’t marry you. I’m still in love with Trey.”

“That’s nonsense. How can you be in love with a man who abandoned you when you needed him?”

“Maybe he didn’t abandon me. Maybe I abandoned him. He was going through hell after Callie died, and instead of trying to help him through it, I left him. Maybe it’s just as much my fault as it is his.”

“Quite frankly, I’m sick and tired of hearing about this great tragedy you suffered. I see people using their sad stories as an excuse for abhorrent behaviour every day in my courtroom. I’m going to tell you what I tell them: get over it.”

She stared at the receiver in her hand, the dial tone the only sound in the still room. Had she been so desperate to have someone in her life, someone she could count on, that she would have married someone so callous and insensitive?

Was that the reason she wanted Trey back, because she was afraid of being alone? Was she making excuses for him, rewriting history because she couldn’t stand the thought of living and dying alone, as her father had? She walked numbly toward the shower, trying to sort out the riot of her emotions tumbling around in her head.

Trey was on hold, waiting to ream out the hotel manager when his doorbell rang. Not that it was the hotel manager’s fault, but Trey was furious and he needed someone to blame. He knew better; he should have been more careful. He knew there were photographers at his father’s birthday last night. He should have made sure the blinds were completely closed and the room secure. Hell, he should have brought Sierra back to his house, to their house, to make love to her instead of taking her on a desk during his father’s birthday party.

He stalked across the room when the doorbell rang. He swung the door open, expecting to see Val with an armful of groceries. Instead, Megan sauntered in wearing low-slung Juicy sweatpants, a cropped hoodie, and flip-flops. Her hair was twisted and secured in a metal claw and her face was scrubbed free of make-up. Worse, it looked like she’d been crying.

His gut twisted; something was wrong. Either she had bad news, or she was crossing the line from disgruntled girlfriend to psycho stalker. Either way, it couldn’t be good.

“How did you get past the guard at the gatehouse?” he demanded. He pushed the button to disconnect his call. Blaming the hotel manager for his stupid mistakes wouldn’t make him feel better, though it may help to relieve some stress.

“The guard was distracted with the paparazzi swarming out there so he just waved me through.”

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “This day just keeps getter better.” He glared at her, challenging her to make it worse. “What can I do for you, Megan?”

She looked at the ground, refusing to meet his eyes. “We have a problem.”

Great. That’s just what he needed, another problem. “What is it?”

She pulled a stick out of her over-sized handbag.

The room started to spin and he felt the beads of perspiration forming on his hairline. He had only seen a stick like that once before, but he knew what it meant. “You’re pregnant?” He sank down on a bench in the foyer, not trusting his legs to support his weight. “That’s not possible. We were so careful. I’m always so damned careful.”

She knelt in front of him, her eyes swimming with tears. “I know; I’m sorry.” She shrugged her shoulders, looking away. “I guess it broke. They’re not 100%, you know.”

He dropped his head in his hands. “This cannot be happening, not now.”

She jumped up, pacing back and forth on the Persian rug. “Why? Because you think you have a chance with your precious Sierra?”

Sierra. How was he going to tell her that he had fathered another woman’s child? Especially after their argument last night? Any chance he may have had to reconcile with Sierra was slowly slipping away. God help him, he needed a stiff drink.

“How do you know the baby is mine?” He felt a moment’s remorse when her bottom lip began to tremble, but he wasn’t about to sacrifice another chance with the woman he loved based on false assumptions.

She stopped and stared at him, hands on hips. “How can you even ask me that? I was faithful to you, Trey. Can you say the same?”

If this was a bad dream, now would be a good time to wake up. “We weren’t exclusive, Megan. You know that.”

The tears began to flow freely, falling in a steady stream down her cheeks. “Then you were sleeping with other women while we were together?”

Pleading the fifth didn’t seem like a good idea, so he opted to deflect the question instead. “I don’t see how that’s relevant. The fact is that you appear to be pregnant and we have some decisions to make.”

She narrowed her puffy eyes at him. “What do you mean? Are you suggesting...”

He held his hands up. “No, I’d never suggest that.” After the way he lost Callie, he couldn’t imagine losing another baby under any circumstances, even if that baby’s mother wasn’t Sierra.

“Then what are you suggesting?”

He sighed, trying to clear his head so he could think logically. But he kept hearing Sierra’s voice, seeing her face. This was one mistake she would never be able to forgive. “Have you seen a doctor?”