Shatter Me (8 page)

             
“Brunch with her folks.”
He wasn’t a big fan of Bianca’s family just as they weren’t fans of his. The Carrington’s wanted Bianca to settle down, marry and give them lots of grandchildren. Christian, while completely faithful to her was not the settling down type. To be honest I was surprised that the relationship between him and Bianca had lasted this long.

             
“Oh yeah, and Blake called last night. He said that he will pick you up around six.”

             
I blinked completely confused. “What are you talking about?”

             
“You asked Blake to go with you to that dinner thing tonight
at the party the other day.” Christian reminded her. “His
family are
big contributors to the hospital. Remember?”

             
I blow out a frustrated sigh. “Yes, I remember now.” I mumble as I toss my keys and my wallet into my purse and sling it over my shoulder.
“God!”

             
My life was so complicated today! I had a feeling the Blake thought I was interested in him. I had been half drunk and vulnerable when I had issued that invitation, and now I had to spend an evening with a guy I wasn’t sure I would even like without the aid of alcohol.

             
The Charity Din
n
er is held in one of Manhattan’s most raved about new restaurants.
The entire place has been rented out and the chef has prepared a surprise menu. At fifteen hundred dollars a plate and with the place brimming with supporters the Children’s
W
ing at the hospital was going to get an overhaul and then some.

             
I sit with Blake Avery and two other couples. I have found that
yes,
I do enjoy the big muscle man without the aid of alcohol but that I am no more attracted to him than I was drunk. He is a nice man, and I
want to like him as more than
a new friend, but it just isn’t going to happen.

             
Thankfully he seems to u
nderstand this as the night goes
on. After dessert there is dancing and I let my date pull me onto the dance floor as a local Jazz band starts playing softly in the background. I am happy because the dinner along with the silent auction has raised more money than expected and I smile warmly up at Blake.

             
“You know, I think we could have been really good for each other.” He tells me.

             
“I know.” And I do. If I had felt even the smallest spark of attraction for him I would have jumped head first into a relationship with him. “But we both deserve better than what I can offer.”

             
He inclines his head in acceptance. “
You are already in love. I think I knew that at your birthday party.”

             
I bite my lip, hating that I had been so obvious in my feelings for Keith that even this man that I barely know had seen it. “I don’t want to love him.” I mutter.

             
Blake laughs. “Like that is it?”

             
I lift a shoulder in a half shrug. “Yes.
Just like that.”
The music ends and everyone turns to applaud the band.

             
As I do I catch sight of a tall
,
dark haired man who is winding his way through the
crowd.
My heart skips a beat.
No!
Why would he come here? He never comes to any of the Winthrop Charities’ benefits.

             
Hard green eyes capture mine and I stand there frozen as Keith’s long strides eat up the distance between us.
He is spectacular in his simple black tux with his hair in need of a trimming. Every other man in the room dims in comparison to him in my eyes.
Blake shifts beside of me and those green eyes darken with something dangerous when Keith notices the other man.

             
“I think I will make myself scarce.” My date murmurs before Keith reaches us. “Call me, okay Kari?”

             
I can only nod. The sight of Keith has locked up my vocal cords. Blake discreetly disappears just as the music starts again. Without a word Keith pulls me into his arms and we begin to dance.

             
My heart is going crazy in my chest and I know that he can feel every frantic beat with my chest pressed so closely to his own. The hand on my waist is skimming over the shimmering material of my new dress, while the other is locked with my own. My breath catches as we continue to dance and the rest of the world seems to disappear.

             
“Where have you been hiding?” He asks quietly.

             
“My father’s house.”
My answer is just as quiet.

             
“I went there.” He informs me. “No one had seen you.”

             
“No, the house in the Hamptons.”
I explain and he grimaces.

             
“Of course!
I had forgotten about that one.” His fingers are tormenting me with their caresses up and down my side. His thumb grazes the underside of my breast each time and it is all I can do not to moan at the exquisite contact. “Didn’t you like the flowers?”

             
“They were beautiful. You must have bought every rose and tulip in the city.”

             
“So why weren’t they in your office when I stopped by yesterday?” He asks.
“Or in the apartment when I went there?”

             
“Because I was overwhelmed and angry.
I had the tulips sent to a local nursing home.” I shrug. “And I have no idea what Bianca did with all of the roses.”

             
“And the caramels
?”

             
I bite the inside of my jaw. “I gave them to the girls at the office. I probably have an entire building full of new friends now.”

             
His jaw clenches but I think that I see just a hint of amusement in his eyes. “I have never done anything like that before.” He confesses. “Buying flowers and candy like that. I guess I did get a little carried away.”

             
I cannot help the grin that caresses my lips. “Well, I’m sure the old
ladies at the nursing home really appreciates
the thought.”

             
“The only lady I want to appreciate it is you!” He growls low in his throat and I cannot hide my shiver.

             
“I appreciated it a lot more once I had time to calm down.” And I had. Once I had gotten most of my feelings straightened out I had realized that
I was
incredibly touched by his gestures.

             
“I meant what I said on the card, Kari.” He pulls me a little closer. “I can’t stop thinking about you, baby.”

             
“Keith…” I breathe his name.

             
“I know you have wanted me
,
Kari.
That you care about me.
And I have wanted and cared just as long.”

             
“No!” I deny it. “You have never let me get close. Every time I try you always push me away.”

             
“I had to. When I first met you…I promised your mother that I wouldn’t touch you.
That I would leav
e you alone.”
His hand tightens
on my waist. “And then later, when she saw that you cared about me too…She asked me to wait Kari. To give you time to grow up a little more. She made me promise to wait until you were twenty one.”

             
My mouth opened and closed like a fish.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing from him. It was just so…So…So incredible.

             
“Mindy told me that she wanted you to experience life more. You were only eighteen, the same age she was when she had you. She didn’t want things to get serious between us when you were
still
so young.” He doesn’t seem to notice that we have stopped dancing. His eyes, those green beloved eyes look tormented. “It has taken a lot to keep the promises I made to your mother, Kari.”

             
“Why wasn’t I given a say?” I ask, peeved that they had decided something this huge for me without even consulting me. “What about what I wanted?”

             
“You didn’t know what you wanted.” He tried to reason with me. “You were just eighteen.”

             
“And now I’m twenty one. My feelings haven’t changed, except that now they are stronger. I still ache to be with you.
To be yours.”
I pull away from him, hurt and angry. “I have been put through so much pain and misery watching you with all of your girlfriends. And now you tell me that all this time you wanted me too?” I shake my head. “I don’t believe you.
How can you say you care about me when you have done nothing but hurt me for nearly three years?”

             
“I…” He frowns. “I don’t know.” Keith grimaces. “I always thought of it as protecting you.
And maybe of protecting me too.”

             
My laugh is anything but humorous. “Well if that was you protecting me please don’t ever
try
to hurt me. I doubt I will survive it.” I take a few steps back, realize that everyone is shooting us interested glances and laugh again. “I’m going home.”

             
“Kari!” He comes after me but doesn’t attempt to stop me until we are outside. It is only as I ask the valet to get me a cab that he grasps my wrist and pulls me around to face him. “Don’t go home. Come with me and let’s talk about this.”

             
“Keith…” I blow out a long frustrated sigh. “Just give me a few days. I need to think about all of this. You just told me that the entire time I thought my feelings for you were one sided they weren’t.
And that hurts me just as much as thinking that you never cared at all.” I toss my tangled blond hair out of my eyes.
“Back at Christmas, watching
you with Eliza…Trying to make you see how much I care, only to have you say those terrible things to me?”

             
“I’m sorry
,
baby.” He raises his big, long fingered hand and traces the lines around my eyes. “It was never Eliza that I wanted. God, couldn’t you see that she was just a poor substitute for you? Didn’t you notice how I never really paid her any attention?”

             
“No. Because I was too busy trying to keep my jealousy from showing so much.”

             
A small smile teases the corners of his sinfully sexy mouth. “And I loved every minute of it. May fifteenth couldn’t come fast enough.”

             
I feel myself starting to melt a little. I want to be in his arms and, yes, in his bed. But sanity is still holding on, if only by its finger nails
,
as I step back away from him. “Give me a few days. Then we can talk about this again.”

             
Reluctantly he nods and opens the door of the taxi as it pulls up to the curb.
“A few days.”
He promises. “I’ll call you.”


      
 

             
It is Sunday evening. My apartment is spotless. I have scrubbed every surface, mopped, vacuumed
and
steamed ever room.
Even Bianca’s room, which my friend had been thrilled about because she never wants to clean her floors.
All three toilets are sparkling. Even the windows are gleaming from the inside out.

             
When I have something big on my mind I tend to go on cleaning sprees. For some reason it helps me to think better.

             
But this time the issue must be too big, because I was no closer to deciding where I wanted things to go with Keith. With a tired sigh I toss my cleaning supplies into the little closet in the kitchen and take a long hot shower. When I get back to my room with just a tee shirt and a pair of panties on it is nearly seven and I am ready to call it a night.

             
Bianca has gone to Christian’s house for the night because…Well because they have a lot of things to ‘discuss’ before
Christian
leav
es for Japan the next morning. He
is going to be gone two weeks and since he and Bianca started officially dating six months ago there wasn’t very many nights that they spent apart. So the next two weeks were going to be difficult for them.

             
Honestly I was kind of envious of my bestie. She had a decent man who enjoyed being with her. True the couple had been up and down for the last few years because Christian was so…Well Christian. But I felt that given time the guy could maybe really settle down and make an honest woman out of Bianca.