Shattered (Shattered #1) (6 page)

When she came to a stop, she picked up her t-shirt, clip board, what
looked like a whistle off the ground, and began heading in my direction.
Knowing that I was spying, and she’d kill me if she knew I was here, I turned,
and jogged back to where I had come from. I wanted to get back into my office
as fast as I could. How would I ever explain why I was out here if she caught
me?

ooooooooo

Leah

As I made my way back toward the gym, my ankle was on fire. It was
pulsing in pain at this point, and I was just hoping no one would be in the
trainer’s room right now. I knew what they had in there, and I knew how to use
it. I had broken this same ankle my sophomore year, and had used the ice baths
many times that season. I had some of my best times that year running on a
broken ankle of all things.

Shaking my head as I stopped by my office, tossed my whistle and clip
board on my desk, I turned, and made my way down to the trainer’s room before I
released the sob that I was holding in. It hurt like a bitch, and I didn’t
really want a lecture right now from anyone. No one would understand why I did
it. Why I would push myself that hard. Coach Stallings was the only one who
ever got the fact that I would run injured. For an athlete, competing with an
injury is nothing as long as you’re not doing permanent damage.

After letting the door close behind me, I went over to where the freezer
was and started scooping ice into the tub. After filling it halfway, I turned
the water on and let it begin to fill. Memories of the last time I’d been in
here tried to surface, but I pushed them down. Nick had occupied enough of my
time the last two days.

Once the tub was filled enough that I could submerge my foot completely,
I stripped off the stretch pants I was wearing. As I stood there in only a
sports bra and bike shorts, I hobbled up to the tub and placed my foot in the
slurry of ice water. A yelp escaped me as the cold clashed with the heat of my sore
muscles. It had been a while since I’d had to do this. A chair was pushed up
against the wall near me, and I reached for it so I could sit. No telling how
long I would need to be in here. I had planned to go home right after practice.
Avery and I were going to hang out and talk about my first day. Too bad my
stubborn pride had other plans.

As the ice bath began to numb the pain, I closed my eyes and let my chin
rest on my chest. I was just about to nod off when the creaking of the door
jolted me awake. I glanced up wide-eyed. It was Nick, standing there in all his
glory. A pair of mesh shorts hung on his hips and a black tank top stretched
across his chest. I swallowed as I scanned his form. He looked good enough to
eat. Heat pooled in my belly and I felt my nipples tighten behind the fabric of
my sports bra.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you’d
left.”

“What are you doing here?” I stammered.

“I was coming in to get some tape for my wrists. I was working out in
the weight room,” he shrugged as he turned and began rummaging through a
drawer. “I’ll leave you alone.”

“You don’t have to go,” the words were out before I could stop them.

Nick turned and squeezed his eyes shut like he was fighting an internal
battle, “Yeah…I think I do.”

I pulled my foot from the ice bath and hobbled over to the table on the
other side of the room. I knew I needed to give my foot a rub down and then
wrap it before I headed home. I knew the routine, I’d done more times than I
cared to admit.

“Can you hand me that?” I pointed to an Ace bandage that was on the
counter near where Nick was standing.

He nodded, grabbed it, and turned in my direction. When he reached the
table where I was sitting, he placed the wrap in my hand and quickly jerked
back like I’d burned him. I averted my eyes from him as I began to massage my
ankle. The jagged scar that ran across the top of my foot was still quite
sensitive.

“Looks like it still hurts,” he mumbled.

“Yeah…it does,” I muttered. “It’s nothing in comparison to other injuries
though.” My broken heart was by far the most painful injury I’d had to date.

I continued to work the muscles loose and avoid making eye contact. I
could feel Nick’s eyes on me, but fear of what he’d see in mine kept me staring
at the floor. I moved so I could wrap the bandage around my ankle, but it kept
slipping. I fought an aggravated sigh as I tried for the third time to get it
right.

“Let me help you,” Nick sighed as he squatted in front of me.

I glanced up at him before relenting and placing my ankle in his lap.
His fingers feathered across it almost reverently as he traced the scars from
the accident along with all the surgeries I’d had. Pain marred his face when
his eyes darted up to meet mine.

“I’m sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve to go out like
this,” his voice wavered as if he was trying to hold his emotions in check.

I nodded in understanding. I didn’t think I could respond verbally
without breaking down. When Nick finished wrapping the bandage and secured it
in place, he released my foot and stood in front of me. He nodded in acceptance
and started to turn and walk away.

“Wait!” I called.

He turned with a pained look of his face as he watched me stand and limp
over to him.

“Thank you,” I whispered as I rose up on my toes and placed a light kiss
to his cheek.

The moment I made contact, I felt him stiffen. It was as if we were
complete strangers and didn’t know each other’s bodies at all anymore. I began
to lower myself back down, but Nick suddenly turned his head and crashed his
mouth into mine.

As his lips moved across mine, it was as if the last five years had
never happened. His tongue snaked out and ran along the seam of my mouth
forcing it open. The kiss grew urgent as if he was afraid I’d suddenly
disappear. Our tongues battled one another as he reached down and grabbed me
behind my thighs, lifting me up, and spinning us so my back was to the wall. He
leaned in with this hips and pinned me there as he continued to ravage my
mouth. My head spun out of control with lust and desire for this man. Just as I
reached down to pull his tank up his abs, he wretched his mouth away, released
me, and took several staggering steps back. I stood there in a haze fighting to
find my equilibrium. What had just happened?

“I’m sorry,” he panted as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“I’m sorry,” he tugged at his hair and turned his back to me. He yanked the
door to the trainer’s room open and stepped through it before uttering the
words that would break my heart all over again, “I can’t do this.”

Pain, confusion, and utter disbelief surged through me. What had just
happened and how had I let it? I reached out and fumbled towards a chair as I
clumsily sat. I leaned forward placing my elbows on my knees as I let go for
the first time today. My body rocked back and forth as the sobs rolled out if
me. I could not go through losing him again. I was not going to let Nick Sutter
break my heart for the second time.

Chapter 6

Nick

I can’t believe I just did that. What is wrong with me? Kissing her? Was
that the best idea? No, of course not. Leah had shown me five years ago that I
was not her top priority. She’d agreed to go to Atlanta without even thinking
about how it would affect us. What it would mean to me. Now she seemed to be
working her way back into my system slowly one day at a time. I needed to stay
away. I could not go through that again.

As I added more weight to the bar, I continued to berate myself, and
laid back down on the bench. I’d already done more bench presses than I should have,
but I needed to get her out of my system. The more I thought about her, the
angrier I was getting. How dare she kiss me like that. How dare she come back
here and think that she can just pretend like nothing happened.
 

I lifted the bar off its supports and released a hiss, “one” I need to
stay away. “Two,” maybe I just need to give in. “Three,” she looked so good in
those shorts. “Four,” her legs wrapped around me were definitely my undoing.
“Five,” I need to get her out of my system. “Six,” this is going to kill me…
The more lifting I did, the more worked up I was getting. Anger and desire were
fighting back and forth. One voice telling me to find her, push her up against
the wall again, and make her beg me to take her. The other voice telling me that
nothing but pain was going to come from this, she didn’t care about me, and I
was wasting my time.

After several hours in the weight room, I finally had worked out most of
the anger that I’d harbored toward her. If I was being honest, I still loved
her. It was fear that was keeping me away. Fear that if I let her in, she’d
break me all over again. I knew I sounded like a pussy, but I didn’t care.

After placing the free weights back in their spots, I grabbed a towel
and began rubbing the sweat off my face. It had been a long day, and all I
wanted to do was go home, and take a nice hot shower.

As I began walking down the hall heading in the direction of my office,
I noticed the lights to the trainer’s room were turned off. I released a sigh
of relief knowing that Leah had left. At least I hoped she had left. When I got
to my office door, it was cracked open. I didn’t remember leaving it that way,
but sometimes players would come by and forget to close the door when they
left. I figured someone brought me something, and just didn’t pull the door
closed when they came back out.

As I approached my desk, I saw a small piece of paper taped to computer
screen. Upon closer inspection I recognized the hand writing. I would never
forget the way she wrote my name.

Nicky,

I’m sorry. I don’t know
what else to say. Can we talk? I mean really talk? Meet me at our old spot at
7? I’ll be waiting…

L

I held the paper out in front of me again as my hand trembled. She was
the only person I let call me Nicky, and she knew that was what she needed to
do to get to me. This day just kept getting even more stress-filled as it went
on. What could she possibly want to talk about, and was I dumb enough to go?
The answer was easy, yes. I needed to find out what she wanted and close the door
on this uncomfortable reunion as quickly as possible.

ooooooooo

Leah

Was I crazy? After what just happened in the trainer’s room, was I crazy
to try to get him alone again? I want, no I need to fix this. He’s still
attracted to me that much is obvious, but for some reason he won’t give in to
it. “Lay it out there for him Leah,” I mumbled to myself as I walked into the
front door of my house and headed for the bathroom.

Once inside the bathroom, I began stripping off my sweaty clothes and
tossing them into a pile. After turning on the water, and stepping into the
spray, I began to relax for the first time all day.

“Knock, knock,” came Avery’s voice as she barged in.

“I was hoping to get some quiet time,” I sighed as I began washing my
hair.

“Yeah…ok,” Avery snickered. “If you think I’m going to leave you alone
after you spent the day with Nick, you’re crazier than I thought.”

“I didn’t spend the day with him,” I rolled my eyes. “We work in the
same building, that’s all.”

“Yeah, you work ten feet from each other, and you used to sleep
together,” Avery giggled. “You can’t tell me that it was a normal day.”

“Can I get like five minutes alone?” I groaned.

“No…what do you need five minutes for? You thinking about him and need
to take care of something?”

“Avery! No!” I shrieked. “Get out! Please!”

“I want deets girl. Did you see him?” she continued to push the issue.

I knew that if I didn’t give her what she wanted, she would never let
up. Sighing I relented, “He kissed me.”

“What?” she squealed.

“You heard me.”

“It sounded like you said he kissed you. Did you kiss him back?”

“Um hmmm,” I grumbled. “He kissed me…like he used to. Then he ran in the
other direction as fast as he could.”

“He still loves you,” Avery got a wistful sound to her voice. “He’s
afraid you’re going to hurt him again.”

As I stood under the water letting the soap run down my body, I couldn’t
help but let Avery’s words soak in. He loved me? Could she be right? The Nick I
knew would never let someone get to him like that. That was what had kept me
from dating in him the first time around. He had been such a player. If Cam
hadn’t convinced me to give him a chance, we probably would have never gotten
together.

“You should talk to him,” Avery broke into my thoughts. “Tell him you’re
here for good. That you want to fix things. Start over…” she trailed off.

“I’m trying,” I let it escape before I could stop it. I slapped my hand
over my mouth as a blush spread across my cheeks.

Before I could react, Avery jumped up and yanked back the shower
curtain, “How?” she grinned mischievously. “What have you got up your sleeve?”