Authors: DelSheree Gladden
Tags: #destiny, #myth, #gods, #native american, #legend, #fate, #mythology, #new mexico, #native american mythology, #claire, #twin souls, #tewa indian, #matwau, #uriah
“Jonny didn’t even realize where we were, but
as soon as we got to the pullout I jammed my foot on the break and
jumped out, still screaming at him. Uriah heard us fighting,
stopped Jonny from punching me, and you know the rest,” I said. “I
guess I should thank Johnny for what he said, now that I think
about it.”
“I guess so,” Lina said. Her laugh made me
smile.
Since Lina was getting the chance to ask
questions she had always wanted the answers to, I thought I should
be able to do the same. I was unsure about asking her again about
the questions highest on my list, so I settled for another. “Did
you know he was planning to propose after graduation?”
Lina erupted with laughter. “Of course I
did,” she said.
I frowned, hoping that it really had been
Uriah’s secret. Lina patted my leg with sympathy.
“I wasn’t meant to know, though. Uriah just
isn’t very good at hiding his feelings, or the ring for that
matter. He carried that ring around in his pocket for two weeks
before he gave it to you.
“The day he came home from Santa Fe with it,
he rushed off to his room so fast I barely realized he was home.
When I tried to go in and see if he was alright, the door was
locked, which it never is, and I had a sneaking suspicion about the
reason for his trip to Santa Fe. San Juan really doesn’t have a
decent jeweler,” she said. “Did you know he got your ring from the
same place Notah bought mine?”
Glancing down at my ring, I wasn’t surprised.
“No, I didn’t know that.”
Uriah had been following in his father’s
footsteps once again. It made me love the ring even more. I
couldn’t wait to be married to him and start our life and family
together. I knew that he would be a good father to our children. A
stab of jealousy streaked through my mind, but it didn’t belong to
me. I had to close my eyes, wincing at the sudden pain. The bond to
Daniel fought me every time I thought of my future with Uriah.
With my eyes still closed tight, I pictured
what our children would be like. Our sons would have their father’s
build and kind eyes. Our daughters would have his warm smile and
thoughtful heart. We would raise them with the love they deserved.
The strength of my thoughts slowly pushed away everything else.
“He did a good job picking it out, didn’t he?
It really suits you,” Lina said, watching me with concern in her
eyes. Her words brought me back to the conversation.
My ring was white gold with a single half
carat, princess cut diamond adorning it. It was simple and
tasteful, exactly what I would have picked out myself. “He knows
what I like,” I said.
“What kind of dress do you want?” Lina asked.
I relished the question. There was no “if Uriah comes back”
attached to it, only pure faith that everything would work out
exactly as she hoped it would.
I couldn’t keep the smile from my lips as I
began. “I want a strapless dress with a tight bodice that laces up
the back. My skirt will be white satin with a sheer layer over it.
My aunt will do some beadwork on the overskirt, but no lace or
puffy sleeves. I don’t want to look like some glamour rock star
from the eighties. My mom thinks I should put my hair up in some
kind of French twist, but I’ll wear it down. Uriah loves my hair. I
don’t want to hide it. Maybe I’ll try out some curls though. I
think he would like that. ”
“You have certainly put a little thought into
it, haven’t you,” Lina said. Her smile threatened to wrap all the
way around her head.
“I’ve had years to think about it,” I said.
My smile was equally big.
Calming herself, Lina took her happiness down
a few notches. She asked, “How long have you known that Uriah was
who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?”
I wanted to say that I had known since the
first day I saw him, but that was probably when I was about six
months old. The truth wasn’t that far from it, though. “It will
sound really silly,” I said.
“No it won’t,” Lina said.
“One time when I was ten years old, I was
walking to school and I saw Uriah sitting on the sidewalk just
outside of the building. At first I thought he was just sitting
there, but when I got closer I heard someone crying. I knew it
wasn’t Uriah. It sounded like a little kid. I walked a little
closer without letting him see me, and I realized there was a
little boy who must have been in kindergarten sitting next to
him
“I felt bad eavesdropping, but I was curious
about what had happened to the boy. The poor kid was crying because
a couple of older kids had knocked him down and taken his lunch.
Uriah sat with him until he stopped crying and then gave him his
own lunch and told him to hurry to class.”
Lina’s eyes were shining with pride.
“At lunch, I looked for Uriah,” I said, “but
I didn’t see him anywhere. When I went outside, I saw him by the
fence with two of my classmates. A few seconds later, the two boys
walked over to the little kindergartener that had been crying, and
apologized. I adored Uriah before then, but that was the day I knew
he would be the man I’d marry someday.” And I still will, I said
defiantly to the jealousy of the bond that was trying to edge back
in.
“Twin Souls or not, I can’t think of a more
perfect couple than you and Uriah,” Lina said.
“Do you really think that?” I asked.
“Of course, I do, Claire. Why would you even
ask that?” Her voice was sweet and innocent, but the fear edging
its way into her stance proved she knew exactly why I would ask her
that.
“My dad said Uriah was going to go places I
shouldn’t. He didn’t want me to be with Uriah because he thought I
would be hurt. Is that true, Lina?”
“Claire…I don’t know what you’re talking
about. Uriah is…his path is his own. I can’t tell you what that
will be.”
“But you know something, don’t you?” I asked.
“Why won’t anyone talk to me about this? Do you even know
everything he can do?”
She shook her head stubbornly. “Uriah is…he’s
a wonderful boy.”
“You know he can make people do what he wants
just by asking them. You know because you saw him do it to my dad
when we argued about us getting married. You can’t tell me you
never noticed how animals calm for him when they won’t for anyone
else. You’ve seen him do it too many times to deny it. And did you
know that it hurts him every time we touch? He says it’s gotten
better over time, but it still causes him pain every time he holds
me.”
The first two I knew she was already aware
of, she had to be, but the last truly seemed to startle her. She
was about to say something in response when the phone rang.
The sound brought my heart to a stop. The
bond started shoving Daniel down my throat as soon as my mind even
considered it might be Uriah. I shuddered under the blatant
assault, but Lina was too wrapped up in her own emotions to notice.
Her hands gripped mine tightly. The phone sat next to her on a
small table. The ring sounded again, drawing both of our eyes to
it. Slowly Lina let go of my hands and picked up the phone.
“Hello?” Her breath released in a rush.
“Uriah, honey, how are you? Where are you? When will you be home?
Are you alright?”
Her questions tumbled out, and I was aching
to hear the answers. A quick sigh of relief from Lina was the only
response I received.
“”I’m glad you’re okay,” Lina said. “Yes,
she’s here.” Another pause. “Of course dear, here she is.”
I very nearly ripped the phone out of Lina’s
hand. Pain sprouted in my chest and I had to dig my nails into my
leg to force it down. Pressing the phone to my ear hard, my heart
raced while the part of my mind yearning for Daniel screamed at me
to put the phone down. Squeezing the phone, I refused to listen to
anything but his voice. “Uriah?” I asked.
“Claire?” His voice questioned me, as if he
didn’t believe I was really there.
“Yes, where are you?” I asked.
“How are you feeling?” Uriah asked.
“I’m fine,” I said quickly. I didn’t want to
talk about me. “Sophia says I’m good as new. Where are you?”
“Is Daniel gone?”
“Yeah, Cole took him home yesterday. He
should be getting back tonight. Cole, not Daniel, thank goodness.
He is not coming back.” I was babbling like an idiot. “Where are
you? Are you coming home soon?”
“I should be home in a few days if everything
goes okay,” Uriah said.
That was the third time he hadn’t told me
where he was. Was he purposely avoiding the question? I couldn’t
understand why he was being so secretive about what he was doing. I
was afraid that whatever he had gone to do was dangerous, and he
didn’t want to tell me what it was. Shaking my head, I pushed my
dark thoughts away. He must have a good reason, I told myself.
“I miss you,” I said softly.
“You do?”
Turning away from Lina so she wouldn’t see
the tears in my eyes, I pressed the phone closer to my mouth. “I
miss you so badly, Uriah.”
“What about Daniel?” His voice was throaty
and unsure. I hated hearing him like that. If I were stronger, he
wouldn’t be wherever he was. He would be by my side with his arms
around me, singing me his lullaby.
“I’m fighting it, Uriah, I promise,” I
whispered. He sighed, but it was hard to tell if it was out of
relief or resignation. “I’m staying at your mom’s right now. It
helps me to be surrounded by all the things that remind me of you.
I stayed in your room last night. I hope you don’t mind.”
“You stayed in my room, in my bed?” Uriah
asked.
The tone of his voice was filled with an
emotion I couldn’t quite name. Even without a name, it tore at me.
I was causing him so much pain. I couldn’t stand the thought. My
body shook as I gripped the phone even tighter. It was my only line
to him.
“I wish I had been there,” Uriah whispered.
It was so quiet, I wasn’t sure whether I was meant to hear it or
not.
“Me too,” I said.
“I love you, Claire. I’ll be home soon,” he
promised.
“I love you too,” I said. And then he was
gone.
Claire had slept in my bed, without me. I set
the phone down gently, though I wanted to hurl it across the room.
I should have been there. How many nights had I lain awake wishing
Claire was beside me? The one night she was actually in my bed, I
was four hundred miles away. I tried not to think of what I wanted
to do to Thomas Brant the next time I saw him.
“Uriah, is everything okay?” Kaya asked. She
stood in the kitchen doorway, her mouth turned down with
concern.
I struggled to regain my calm. “Yeah,
everything is fine,” I said. “It’s just hard being away from
Claire.”
Kaya’s face melted. “It will only be a few
more days,” she said, patting my shoulder. “You’ll be back together
soon.”
Back together, we should never have been
parted. That was my decision, though. I left. I ran my hand through
my hair with a sigh. “I’m starting to regret leaving Claire
behind.”
“Of course you are,” Kaya said. “You should
regret it. You shouldn’t have left her.”
My eyes widened at her blunt appraisal.
Kaya’s expression softened. “Uriah, I
understand how hurt you were when Claire said she might not be able
to resist the bond, but killing yourself was
not
the answer.
You blame Quaile for not trusting you more, but you didn’t trust
Claire, either.”
Not trust Claire? I trusted Claire
completely. I stood while Kaya’s word sunk deep into my heart. I
had raced off to find my death, ignoring Claire’s pleas for me to
stay with her. She needed to move on without me and be happy, I had
thought. I had made the choice for her. Trust had not been
involved.
“I thought I was doing what was right for
her,” I said.
“Quaile and Claire’s father thought the same
thing when they said you couldn’t, or shouldn’t, marry Claire. You
have to let people make their own choices,” Kaya said. Reaching up,
Kaya placed her hand on my shoulder. “You know, even if Claire had
given into the Twin Soul bond right away, you would have been okay
in time.”
“No.” I couldn’t stand to even think about
living a life that did not include Claire. The past year and a half
had been the best of my life. Every memory I had of us together was
laced with joy and the sweet promise of an eternity of happiness.
As I thought of those memories, I realized they would always be
there, no matter what else happened.
Slowly, my tense shoulders relaxed. It was
not the most pleasing thought I could think of, but perhaps Kaya
was right. Kaya watched me, taking in my changed stance with a
confident smile.
“No matter what happens, Uriah, you’ll be
alright. With or without Claire,” she said.
Despite my realization, I did not want to
talk about “without Claire” anymore. I needed something to distract
me, anything. “Did you still want to talk about the dreams?”
Kaya brightened instantly, her curiosity
overriding her pity. “Yes, please. Let’s sit down on the couch. Oh,
I forgot,” she said. Kaya ran out of the room. She was back quickly
with two plates piled high with steaming tamales. “We’ll eat while
we talk.”
Finding myself starving, I dug into the soft
meat and masa. “So where do you want to start?” I asked after
swallowing my first bite.
“Quaile’s dreams, tell me every detail,” Kaya
said. Stuffing another bite into her mouth, she grabbed a pencil
and notepad. Her curiosity was also one of her many jobs. She was a
very good shaman.
“Well, she said the first time she had the
dream, or vision, was when I was born,” I began. “She said she
tries to attend every birth. Do you do that?”
Kaya nodded.
“Then the day we went to the elders to ask
permission to marry, she said she had it again, with one important
difference. She said she saw that something would happen to Claire,
and me deciding to help her would set me on the path she had seen
in her dream.”