She Comes First (14 page)

Clitoral-Cluster Squeeze

Perineal Pinch

• Having lavished attention on both the vaginal ceiling and floor, use the come-hither finger curl to graze her sensitive vaginal walls, both left and right, especially the areas that are closest to the entrance.

• Be sure to complement this manual tour of her vaginal walls with the tongue strokes described in previous chapters (vertical strokes will be the easiest and most natural). If it’s too difficult to focus on performing hand
and
tongue gestures simultaneously, then simply press a flat still tongue against her clitoral head and focus on the manual stimulation.

In this chapter we redubbed the G-spot the clitoral cluster, expanded our definition of this important erogenous zone, and learned how to stimulate it manually with a series of finger positions.

N
OW THAT YOU
have exploited a single finger to its full potential, it’s time to introduce a second finger, your middle one. Think of your index and middle fingers as a single finger and let them work in unison.

• First, simply insert both fingers inside her vaginal canal (palm up) and maintain a still position. Take a moment to feel her pelvic muscles contract against the sides of your fingers; notice the further tightening of her vaginal entrance (the clitoral cuff) around your fingers.

• As you did earlier with a single finger, use both fingers—side by side—to graze the ceiling, floor, and walls of her vagina with come-hither gestures. When grazing her vaginal ceiling, feel your fingertips pass over the spongy tissue of the clitoral cluster.

• Flatten your fingers and press them into her vaginal ceiling. Push up against the spongy tissue. Apply firm pressure. With your other hand, press down against her pubic mound.

• Use both hands to massage her from above and below.

• Continue to apply your tongue to her clitoral head—either with small vertical strokes or simply with a flat, still tongue. At this point the application of steady pressure against her clitoral head is just as important as, if not more important than, tongue strokes.

• In using both fingers and tongue, you are simultaneously engaging her clitoral cluster and clitoral head. Note that you are applying a gentle pressure to the latter and a deeper pressure to the former. The pleasure she experiences is a blend of these two types of stimulation.

• Now hook your fingertips just inside her vaginal entrance and push up against her vaginal ceiling/clitoral cluster with the tops of your fingers. Get a good firm grasp. Press your fingertips into the spongy tissue atop of her vaginal entrance, and raise the tops of your finger—through to the knuckle (or as much as comfortably possible)—against her vaginal ceiling.

• Maintain this position; apply fingertip pressure.

• Since you should still be licking her clitoral head from the outside (while stimulating it with your fingers from within), your chin should fit comfortably into the palm of your hand. Your fingertips should be pressing into the area just behind the head (only a thin layer of tissue and pelvic bone separates your fingertips and tongue).

Come-Hither with Tongue

The come-hither clasp is an important position for stimulating the full expanse of her clitoral cluster as well as maintaining the position of her vulva against your mouth—it’s very likely the position your fingers will be in when she reaches orgasm, with the possible addition of a third finger to round out the team and enhance the throbbing of her pelvic contractions.

In addition to introducing a second finger, we also illuminated the importance of the come-hither clasp—a position that enables your finger to straddle the full expanse of her clitoral cluster. At this point in the process, use your fingers to find a position and then maintain steady pressure.

Q
UESTION:
“My girlfriend loves oral sex, but sometimes she complains about being lonely when I’m doing it. Is that weird?” (Rob, 29)

ANSWER:
No, her sense of loneliness is not entirely uncommon. Even though cunnilingus is an intense physical experience, it’s possible that she may feel a bit disconnected from you. Try straddling one of her legs so that your penis rests against her inner thigh. Stroke her stomach with your free hand. Connect more of your bodies to each other. And even though you’re focused on her vulva, keep in mind that there’s a whole woman up there, so make an extra effort to verbalize and stay connected.

The come-hither clasp described in the previous chapter provides an ideal opportunity to take a quick intermission from cunnilingus and focus on other types of stimulation—assuming she’ll let you.

• Still stimulating her “clitoral cluster,” get up on your knees, come around to one side of her, and kiss her stomach and breasts; you can also kiss her mouth if she doesn’t object, but take heed: just as the average guy doesn’t always relish the idea of kissing a woman after she’s gone down on him, many women would rather not kiss a wet face that has just come up from below.

• When enjoying an entr’acte, keep a small towel handy and use your free hand to give your face a quick wipe-down. You might also want to pat down her inner thighs and lightly dab her vulva.

A time-out also presents an opportunity to have a swish or two of wine to refresh your palate. As noted in Part I, the pH level of her vulva is remarkably similar to that of wine, so cunnilingus and the fruit of the vine are the perfect pairing. Try a dry white, or a red Zinfandel—wines that are a little more on the acidic side will add some zing to your tongue.

If you’re willing to indulge your senses as well as your wallet, pick up a good bottle of Viognier from the Condrieu region in France; it possesses a rich perfume that’s redolent of apricot, peaches, and honey, and, when combined with the sweet nectar of her vulva, is the closest you’ll ever come to tasting ambrosia, the food of the gods. Whatever your choice, make sure you offer her a sip before going
back to your tongue strokes. But remember: during this interlude, try not to remove your fingers from their come-hither clasp. Maintain a good firm grip on her clitoral cluster and enjoy your libations—all of them.

A come-hither clasp is an ideal way to take a short interlude from cunnilingus, reconnect with her upper body, and enjoy other forms of stimulation before returning to your session.

I
T ’S TIME
to start applying more clitoral pressure with your mouth—
much
more. At this point in the process of sexual response, stimulation in the form of persistent pressure against the area of her clitoral head is probably the single most important element in helping her reach orgasm. The other three elements fundamental to her orgasm are:

• The rhythm of your tongue against her clitoral head

• The firm position of your fingers against her clitoral cluster

• The support of your hand under her buttocks

Taken together, these four elements enable the oral inducement of the female orgasm.

• Apply pressure with a flat, still tongue. Make your tongue as firm as possible and then press it against her clitoral head. Like a reflex, she will press her vulva into your tongue.

Now it’s time to introduce a key component of oral stimulation, the “gum-press.”

• Raise your upper lip by making an “Elvis Presley” snarl and press your gum against her front commissure, the sensitive area just above the head. (If you’re having a problem getting the hang of exposing your gum in this manner, use your upper lip instead.)

• Start with a light pressure and adjust it accordingly to her comfort. While not as sensitive to touch as the actual clitoral head, the front commissure nevertheless abounds in nerve fibers as the clitoral shaft runs beneath it. The virtue of the gum-press is that while you apply pressure to her front commissure, you’re in perfect position to easily, and skillfully, lick her head, frenulum, hood, and inner labia with your tongue.

• Similar to the flat, still tongue, let her take the lead in setting pace and rhythm. Let her use your gum as a source of resistance in order to build up the friction necessary for orgasm.

When performing a gum-press, know that the pressure against your gum, at times, may prove formidable—you may even experience a slight ache—especially as she approaches orgasm.

If you feel like you need a break from the gum-press (a top-down approach), try applying pressure against her frenulum, the area just below her clitoral head. Fortunately, the frenulum, like other sensitive parts of the clitoral network, is rife with nerve endings, and you can easily apply pressure against it while still engaging the glans with tongue strokes.