She's Only Seventeen: A Novel of Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll (13 page)

Shane

October 1986

I was nervous to sleep with Kat again. We hadn’t had any sexual contact in almost three months. We planned to do it the night before we left to go on tour. Our first stop would be London and after that, time would be less and less. We needed to take our time and have a night for ourselves. She seemed excited, sort of reminded me of the first time we had slept together. How we had anticipated the night. I did too, my cock was hardening at the thought of it. It had been too long.
Too long
.

Thomas

October 1986

“We’re doing it tonight.”

“Doing what?” I asked her.

We had just finished up practice and it was just Kat and I down in the studio in my basement.

“You know… sex…”

“Oh, oh Jesus, Kat, I don’t want to know that.”

“Well who else am I supposed to talk about this with?”

She was right, she really didn’t have any other female friends with the exception of Tammy who I still had my doubts that they were really friends. I still wasn’t happy with her for marrying Shane when I fully knew she had felt something when I had kissed her.

“I’m scared,” she admitted

I sighed, “Why are you scared?”

“It’s been so long.”

“It’s only been three months, Kat.”

“I…” she paused; she had tears in her eyes.

I went over to her and put my arms around her, using her tears as an excuse to touch her. I felt almost pathetic.

“God Thomas, you have no idea what it was like… giving birth… it was horrible. I felt like I was in between life and death.”

She began to sob.

She wouldn’t stop; I took her face in my hand and pressed my lips to hers, grasping the opportunity. She tilted her head back, taking me in, still sniffling. Her arms went around me as she and I continued, more passionately. Her hands began lifting up my t-shirt.

I pulled away, “Kat” we can’t.

“Please? I want it to be you.”

God did I want it to also!
It had been what I had been waiting for, what was stopping me?

“No, I can’t Kat, I’m sorry.”

She shut her eyes and looked down.

“What’s wrong with me?” she asked

“Nothing is, Kat. You just gave birth it was traumatic, I get it, your heads all over the place.”

“But you’re the one that kissed me!”

I had been yes, but she was Shane’s now.

“Yes I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry.”

“Whatever, Tom,” she said pushing past me, leaving.

I felt like punching something, the tension and frustration rising. I’d never be content as long as she stayed in my life.

Kat

October 1986 Later that day

Shane was surprised when I went to the bedroom and laid down next to him. As he took me in his arms I rose up to kiss him. His eyes widened as he pulled away a bit from me when I started to rub his crotch where he was hardening at my touch.

He started to relax but his voice stuttered a bit when he asked “if I was sure I wanted to do this”

I replied with a kiss. He let me pull him closer and as I kissed him harder and groped at him more urgently, he became bolder, climbing atop me and pushing his body against mine. His weight hurt me bit I didn’t say anything. I needed this to happen. He pulled down his boxers and pressed his cock against my soft spot. I felt pain and I knew that this would not be easy. I had been able to give birth so I knew I could be strong enough to do this through the pain. I also knew that the more I prolonged it, the more it could possibly hurt in the long run. I felt like a virgin again. When he finally pushed himself inside of me I tried my hardest not to cry out in pain, instead I dug my fingernails into his back. I squeezed my eyes shut as he moved inside of me. I felt him stop and he sighed.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Kat?”

I replied with a nod of the head. Slowly I opened my eyes and he kissed me. I felt my pain subsiding as Shane kissed me softly again. I shut my eyes and saw Thomas, I quickly opened them, meeting Shane’s dark eyes. He kept eye contact with me as I felt him coming. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to just yet, but I wasn’t bothered at all by his lack of stamina. After he came, he lingered inside of me for a moment then went off to the side. He lay on his back next to me as I did the same a few inches away. His left hand reached towards my body and he found my small nub that soon had me moaning with pleasure. I should have known that he wouldn’t have left me unsatisfied. I felt a lot better now that I was able to actually sleep with Shane. The next day I felt more of a spring in my step and knew I was one step back to being myself again. Leaving Darla with Tammy, I tearfully began my first tour as a married woman.

Nick

November 1986

“Everyone ready?” Shane asked

We had all boarded the plane and all I wanted was a drink.

The past couple years had been so chaotic; first it was Kat and Drew, then Kat and Shane, now Kat and Shane
and
Darla.

I watched Kat as she sat with Thomas discussing what they would be doing that week, her eyes flirting with him and him choosing to ignore her. Like we all couldn’t tell the little fucker wanted her.

We arrived in London and did our show. I roomed with Brian this time around which was not the best idea I had ever come up with.

Our next stop was Russia. Kat had begun coughing on the plane and by the time we got to the hotel room, she had a full blown fever. Her fever seemed to worsen after two day. We were stuck in the hotel, completely snowed in, and severely intoxicated.

“I think we need to get her a doctor,” Thomas said to Shane and me.

“Is she that bad?” I asked.

“Yeah, but I don’t see anyone coming in or out in this storm,” he responded, his words slurred.

“She needs that fever to break, it’s really high,” Ian stated as he walked out of Kat’s room.

“Why don’t you fuck her?” Brian said yelled to Shane from across the room as he knocked over a glass.

Shane glared at him. “You’ve got to be joking, why would I do that?”

“Raises body temp and breaks the fever. It’s an old trick I know. Whenever I was sick, id just jerk off and get my heart rate up, you know start sweating?”, he laughed, his voice wobbly with drink, “seriously it works.”

Shane looked at the others. “Should I?” he asked

He was willing to do anything at that point.

Kat

November 1986

“I could feel myself going in and out of consciousness, hardly knowing what was going on at times. After three days of my fever rising, the guys didn’t know what to do. I was freezing. The heat at the hotel had been shut off due to the storm, and of course there would be a blizzard which would prevent us from going anywhere.

I just wanted to go home, I kept telling Shane that. It was a tough position to put Shane in because the blizzard going on outside had gradually been getting worse. Shane really tried his best to keep me warm and try to break my fever but his efforts went to nothing. Brian then suggested that Shane should just try to have sex with me to try to get my blood moving. Shane decided to try the idea against his better judgment. Shane couldn’t get perform. He had never had a problem before but maybe because of the intensity of the situation, he just could not.

Before I knew it he had left the room. I could hear the guys arguing outside the door. Nick came into the room slamming the door. Nick rubbed his body against me, I felt my body tingling. He entered me as I tried not to go fall asleep or pass out. Like I said, I had I’d been going in and out of consciousness, so when he was pumping in and out. I hardly noticed, but my body did. I knew that Shane wouldn’t have let this happen if he didn’t honestly believe this was a life or death situation. I didn’t know how serious my illness was at the time till afterwards.

Shane

November 1986

“I can’t believe this is happening,” I said to Thomas as I reached for the bottle of gin. I needed something, anything to get my mind off everything going on around me.

“Just relax,” he stated, probably as angry and upset as he was.

I pulled my hair back, tears rimming in my eyes.

“Why couldn’t I do it? Why couldn’t I, Tom? And now… now Nick is in there… fucking my wife!”

“You told him too!”

“I had too!”

The rest of the group watched us argue.

“You should have just let me do it,” Tom whispered to me.

I felt anger rise up in me, but before I could answer, Nick appeared.

“She’s sleeping,” he stated

“Did you do it?” I asked

“Yes,” he replied before turning away and going into his own room.

I sat down, breathing heavy. Thomas put his hand on my shoulder.

“You did what you had to do.”

“Do you think she will forgive me?”

“Honestly she probably had no idea what was going on,” he said.

I went to see her.

She was asleep, Sweat glued to her forehead like a glass with ice melting on a warm summer day.

Was her fever breaking?

It was too soon to tell. I prayed my sacrifice had some fruit to it.

Kat

November 1986

Apparently I had been passed out for almost two days before I finally came to it. When I awoke, I was sticky with sweat. My fever had broken. I don’t know if Brian’s idea had worked or maybe my fever had been at its end, but I was no longer sick to everyone’s relief. We were still snowed in so there was no way of getting out for at least another couple days. Shane was distant from me and I could sense a tension between Nick and him. Alex kept joking that we should sue. I knew that Shane would make the decision that
Arctic Circle
would never stay or tour in any part of Russia ever again. Nick also acted awkward around me. We both laughed it off because, although I was still mildly sick, I was much better than I had been forty eight hours prior. We left Russia for South America as soon as we could. The change in climates did wonders for my illness and I was fully recovered in no time.

Thomas and I finally about what had happened. He said that the guys were arguing after Shane came out. Shane had told the guys that he could not do it and that he didn’t know what to do. He said that some of the guys volunteered but Shane wouldn’t consent to any of that. Finally Nick had just gotten fed up with the argument and took matters into his own hands. I wondered secretly if Thomas had been one of those guys that had volunteered. I wouldn’t have minded him. We were able to perform a show when we got to South America. I was relieved to be back in action and stronger than ever. Shane and I were acting weird towards each other. It was more on his part than mine because I felt like he was embarrassed about the whole situation this resulted in the whole week that we were in South America, Shane and I did not sleep together.

Shane

December 1986

“It’s not my fault.” Kat said

“Not this time, sure, but you have fucked other guy, that’s two that I know of since we have been together!”

“You act like it was my fault I got sick and you had someone fuck me,” she said softy. She was twirling her thumbs on the edge of our bed in the hotel room.

“Kat, no, I…” I didn’t know what to say to her.

“I don’t get it; I’ve been faithful to you since… since you know…”

“I know you have,” I said as I got down on one knee in front of her.

She looked down at me. “Tom wants to write new songs for the album.”

“Do you have a title for that one yet?” I asked

“We’re toying with a few; one of the songs I wrote is probably going to be the first single.”

“Thanks great, Kat!” I exclaimed as I got up and sat beside her, putting an arm around her.

She smiled her face so close to mine, her smell, I wanted to taste her…

She leaned in to kiss me; I tentatively put my lips to hers. She pushed me back on the bed, her leg coming around the other side of my body.
Oh god she’s going to do it
I thought.

Her breasts pressed against me as she went to undo my belt.

“Kat,” I stopped her

“What?” she asked concerned

“Not right now please.” I said as I sat up, she fell to the side.

“Why?”

“You gotta go practice, I need to… I probably should to.”

She sat stony, then shrugged and got up. “Fine” she said grabbing her shawl and leaving without looking back.

I let out a sigh,
what was wrong with me

Kat

December 1986

“He won’t do it.” I complained to Thomas

“Do you blame him?” he responded

“You act like it was my fault!” I cried, “I literally had no control over what happened.”

“Just do it yourself, Kat and get it over with,” Ian suggested.