Shift (28 page)

Miranda’s energy was endless. ‘Come
on
!’ she’d say, sometimes only minutes after arriving somewhere. ‘It’s dead here.’
Dead, dead,
dead.

At first I felt like a little kid on a massive sugar high at a fun park. I wanted it to go on forever. But after a few months I started to droop. Sometimes, as we sped from one venue to the next
I would nod off in the taxi.

Miranda always shook me awake. ‘Don’t sleep,’ she’d say. ‘You’ll miss out.’ But she never explained exactly
what
I was missing out on.

By the time I arrived home I would be shattered, but sleep was hard to get. There were mornings when I crawled in through my window moments before Mum called me for breakfast.

During the day I felt like a zombie, struggling through my classes, constantly fighting fatigue. Sometimes I’d get the feeling in class that Lachlan was looking over at me. But I felt too
tired to think about what this meant. Besides, I didn’t want Miranda to catch me looking at him.

I limped through my evenings at the Mercury or, when I just couldn’t face working, I’d call in sick and tell Mum my shift had been cancelled. But the moment I climbed into
Dallas’s car or the taxi again, I’d have a sudden, sharp surge of energy that would keep me going – for a little while at least.

Sometimes we went to parties that Miranda claimed she’d been invited to, and often people did come up and greet her warmly. But they almost always called her by the wrong name. I
didn’t like the party nights much. Miranda and Dallas would disappear off into some dark corner together and I would be left, awkwardly alone in a room full of strangers acting like maniacs.
When Dallas and Miranda returned their eyes would look different and they’d giggle together about private jokes as if I wasn’t there at all.

It was at these parties that I most often found myself thinking about Lachlan. I’d even fantasise about him turning up out of the blue – walking in and giving me the hugest, goofiest
grin.
Hey, Olive! You’re here too.
Sometimes while I was doing this, I’d spot someone through the crowd that looked like him. But then he’d be gone. Lachlan hadn’t
been out with us since that first time, and I knew Miranda had made it clear to Dallas that his brother wasn’t welcome.

One night at a party I sat alone on a saggy couch. The urge to sleep was overwhelming – and even though I knew I’d be in big trouble if Miranda caught me, I started to nod off. I was
almost asleep when I felt the couch sink a little further. Someone had sat down beside me. This sometimes happened – a stranger would take pity on me sitting alone or even try to chat me up.
But this time my sleep-dazed eyes tricked me into thinking that it was Lachlan sitting there.

‘Hey, Olive.’

I sat up, my tiredness evaporating instantly. It
was
Lachlan – smiling, but also looking a little strained.

‘What are you doing here?’ I asked.

‘I followed you,’ Lachlan admitted. ‘In a taxi. I’ve done it a couple of times, actually. You know – since you three started going out all the time.’ He
rubbed his chin. ‘That sounds pretty creepy, doesn’t it?’

‘That depends,’ I said, ‘on why you’re doing it.’ My heart was jumping around like a loon, but I managed to keep my voice calm.

Lachlan leant forward in the couch. ‘I’m worried about Dallas,’ he said. ‘Really worried.’

‘Oh,’ I said.
Don’t you dare feel disappointed, Olive.
‘Why?’

‘He’s a mess,’ said Lachlan. ‘Going hard every night, staying in bed during the day. Not eating. I don’t even know what’s happening with Luxe.’ Lachlan
shook his head. ‘He reckons he’s working on some songs, but I don’t think he is.’

I hadn’t known that.

Someone turned up the music then, and even more people crowded into the space in front of the couch. Lachlan inched a little closer to me. ‘Dallas says he’s in love with Miranda. And
he thinks she’s in love with him.’ Lachlan was looking at me intently. ‘Do
you
think she is?’

It seemed like a crazy question – of
course
Miranda was in love with Dallas. But then I found myself thinking about the way she talked about him. What an amazing catch he was. How
lucky she was, and how many girls wished they were her. And how whenever Miranda flung her arms around Dallas and smothered him with kisses, she always seemed to have one eye on me waiting for my
reaction.

‘Sometimes –’ I stopped, feeling stupid. Arrogant. But I couldn’t back out now, so I shut my eyes and let it blurt out. ‘Sometimes it’s like she’s just
pretending to be in love with him to make me jealous.’

Lachlan didn’t laugh, or look at me like I was a nut. Instead he nodded grimly. ‘Exactly.’ He looked angry then – the angriest I’d ever seen him – hunched
over, fists clenched. When he looked at me again he was calm, but I could tell the rage was still simmering not far below. ‘I promised myself I wouldn’t interfere with your life,
Olive,’ he said. ‘I know that you’ve got stuff going on, and I’ve tried to leave you alone. But I can’t stop watching out for you, even though I’ve tried.’
He gave a half-laugh. ‘I’ve really, really tried.’

It made me ache to hear that. And it was confusing too. ‘Why are you watching out for me?’

Lachlan looked at me strangely. Like the reason should’ve been obvious. ‘Olive. Haven’t you noticed what’s happening to you?’

‘What are you talking about?’ I said, genuinely startled. ‘I’m a little tired, but everything is fine otherwise.’ I was having fun, wasn’t I? Getting tired
was part of that.

Lachlan was quiet for a moment. Then he got up. ‘Follow me,’ he said. ‘I want to show you something.’

He pushed past the drunken dancers, leading me to a bathroom. Lachlan flicked on the light – stark and bright. There, on the wall opposite, was a full-length mirror. Reflected in it was
someone I didn’t recognise. Someone thin and pale, with lank hair, sunken cheeks and dark smudges under her eyes. My reflection and I stared at each other and we both inhaled sharply.
No.

‘I’ll call a taxi,’ said Lachlan, pulling out his phone. ‘You should go. Now.’

Before Miranda finds us.
He didn’t say it, but I knew it was what he meant. And I realised that this was my only chance to speak. Maybe the only one I’d get.

I turned away from my reflection and towards him. ‘You know what I said before, about Miranda trying to make me jealous?’ I spoke quickly, before I could change my mind. ‘By
constantly trying to show me how she and Dallas are in love?’

Lachlan flinched. ‘Yes.’

‘Well, it doesn’t work on me,’ I said. ‘It can’t.’

‘Why not?’ said Lachlan cautiously.

‘Because I’m not in love with Dallas,’ I said, the words tumbling out. ‘And I haven’t been since that gig at the Rainbow.’

We just kind of stared at each other then, Lachlan looking like he wasn’t quite sure what I’d said and me not quite sure if I’d actually said it. And then, before either of us
could say anything else, the door swung open and Miranda barged in, her face creased with irritation.

‘What are you doing in here?’ she snapped, and without waiting for an answer she pushed past Lachlan and muscled her way over to me.

‘Olive’s going home,’ said Lachlan, trying to block her way. ‘She needs to sleep.’

Miranda looked like she might bite him. ‘No, she doesn’t. She just needs you to piss off.’

‘That’s up to Olive to say, not you,’ replied Lachlan steadily.

Both of them turned to me then, but I was too exhausted to deal with the situation. All I wanted was to crawl into my bed and sleep.

Miranda took my silence as a victory. ‘Let’s go,’ she said, grabbing my arm. ‘Dallas is already waiting in the taxi outside. This party is dead.’

As she marched me out of the room, I glanced back at Lachlan. I had no idea if he understood what I’d been trying to tell him before Miranda barged in. Or if he believed me. But when
Lachlan caught my eye there was something in his face – underneath the worry and stress – that gave me a flicker of hope.

Maybe he hasn’t given up on me after all.

‘God, what a
loser,
’ seethed Miranda. She still had me tightly in her grip and I kept stumbling over shrubs and rocks as she pulled me across the front lawn to the waiting
taxi. ‘Those sporty types are all the same, assuming everyone is adoring them from the sidelines, cheering them on.’

I didn’t reply and Miranda suddenly stopped, her eyes boring into me. ‘You
don’t
care what he thinks, do you?’

I remember Dad explaining to me once that sometimes the body moves instinctively – without you having to think about it – to protect itself from harm. A reflex. Like ducking when a
rock’s been thrown at your head, or pulling away from something hot. I felt my head shake from side to side. ‘No,’ I said. ‘Of course I don’t.’

‘Good,’ said Miranda. ‘A guy like that is totally wrong for you. You get that, don’t you? It would never, ever work.’

‘You’re right,’ I said, hoping that I sounded like I meant it. ‘Of course it wouldn’t work.’

I spent most of the next day, Saturday, in bed, and when I woke up around 3p.m. I knew there was no way I could go out that night. I could barely move. But when I went to text
Miranda, my phone was missing. I could’ve called from the phone in the kitchen but there were two problems with that. There was a good chance Mum would overhear me, for one thing. And it also
involved me getting up. As the day passed, I felt a creeping sense of panic as I tried to figure out what to do. Just not show up and explain I was sick when I saw her next? Most people would
accept that. But not Miranda. It was totally possible that she would march up to our front door and demand to know where I was. Gradually it dawned on me. I would have to go out.

So just before 10p.m. I dragged myself out of bed, threw on some clothes and headed out the window as usual. But when I turned the corner there was no taxi waiting. Just Miranda standing alone,
straight and still under the streetlight.

‘I’m not in the mood for crowds tonight,’ she said. ‘Let’s walk instead.’

She started heading off down the street before I even had a chance to reply. But of course it hadn’t been a question.

We walked through the quiet suburban streets, not speaking. Occasionally there’d be the barking of a dog in someone’s yard, or I’d glimpse the flicker of a TV but otherwise
there was little sign of life. Miranda’s silence was fine by me. I didn’t feel much like talking. I ambled along a few steps behind her, not really paying attention, letting her lead
the way. It was only when we came to the main road that I understood where we were going. To the forest.

Miranda’s quietness became even denser once we were surrounded by trees. I almost forgot she was there and when she did finally speak it made me jump. She’d stopped just up ahead,
near where the path forked into two. The wider trail led through the woods and eventually back to the main road – I’d walked Ralph along it heaps of times. The other one was narrower
and more overgrown and it headed up the hill. It was this path Miranda pointed to.

‘This leads up to the back of Oona’s place,’ she said. ‘If we go this way she won’t spot us.’

‘But why are we going there?’ My voice seemed so tiny in that big forest.

Miranda smiled. ‘There’s a game I want to teach you.’