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And, almost like I had no say in it, like something was pulling me there, I turned and started heading for the ocean.

I expected to feel the old panic lifting up inside me the moment my shoes hit the sand. The last time I’d been on the beach was the night Lachlan and I were searching for
Katie. Although I’d been nervous then, it wasn’t hard to block out the ocean – probably because it was dark and I had a task to focus on. I wasn’t alone, either. But this
time the sky was still glowing from the setting sun, so the water – the waves – were bright, sparkly. There was no task, and no other person, to distract me.

Still, the calmness stayed and I walked along the sand until it stopped being powdery dry and began to squelch beneath my shoes. That’s where I stopped. I couldn’t seem to move
– forward or backwards. So I just stood there, watching and listening.

A woman jogged past with her dog. The dog’s paws were kicking up great chunks of sand as it galloped along and it looked at me as it passed, smiling in that crazy-happy way that dogs do.
And I started laughing. I mean, how can you
not
laugh at a dog running on the beach? But I was also kind of crying, too. Laughing and crying simultaneously hurts. It hurts and it’s
confusing.

I turned to watch the dog run off down the beach. That was when I saw Lachlan, walking towards me in that casual, unhurried way of his, a towel slung over his shoulders, hands in his pockets and
his hair gently blowing in the breeze.

If he was surprised to see me there he didn’t let it show. Instead he just lifted his hand and waved, happy to see me.
Me
. The girl who was standing there on her own with a blotchy
face.

‘Hey,’ he said. ‘How are things?’

‘Right now things are a little rough,’ I admitted, knowing that my eyes must have looked like cherry tomatoes.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Just … nothing. Really,’ I said.

Of course I longed to tell him everything. I wished I could just bury my head into his chest and let it all out. But I didn’t.
People don’t want to hear that stuff
.

Lachlan looked at me, but didn’t push it. ‘Come for a stroll?’ he said after a moment.

The answer blurted out of me. ‘
Yes
.’

Lachlan smiled. ‘I like the way you made that yes sound
exactly
like a yes.’

To anyone watching we probably looked very peaceful, walking along like that in silence. And I suppose I did feel peaceful, but it was an exhausted kind of peace. The sort that
comes from being so empty that you can’t feel anything at all.

‘You promised me something,’ said Lachlan after we’d been walking for a while.

‘What?’ I said, thinking back over our conversations. ‘I didn’t promise anything.’

‘Well, it was almost a promise,’ said Lachlan. ‘You said you’d swim with me in the ocean one day. So how about it?’

‘You’re joking, right?’ I said.

‘Nope.’ Lachlan held out his hand. ‘Come on.’

‘I can’t.’ My voice had begun to rise. ‘I can’t.’

If I went into the water all those horrible feelings would swirl up from below, pulling me down, pulling me back to where I began. I was supposed to be taking
baby steps
, not great big
freakin giant leaps into the deep end.

‘Nothing will happen to you,’ said Lachlan, those brown eyes looking at me steadily. ‘I won’t let it.’

‘No bathers,’ I croaked.

Wordlessly, Lachlan put his towel on the ground. He unzipped his jacket, kicked off his shoes and started striding towards the ocean.

‘Lachlan!’ I was laughing then, but it was a nervous kind of laugh. ‘Stop!’

But Lachlan kept going – fully clothed, just like I had that morning after Dad left. It was only when he was waist-high in the water that he finally stopped and turned around. He cupped
his hands around his mouth. ‘Come on, Olive,’ he called. ‘Come and keep me company out here.’

The ocean is not to be trusted. It’s dark and cold with a treacherous current that pulls you whichever way it wants. It can drown you or it can refuse to drown you. I looked out at Lachlan
as he reached his hand towards me. You’d feel pretty safe, I decided, having those hands holding onto yours. I unlaced my shoes and I began to walk towards the water, one tiny step after
another.

When I knew I was nearing the edge I kept my eyes up. The water was cold and as I kept going I felt it seep into my jeans, making them as heavy as cement. The sand began to sink away beneath my
feet. Lachlan didn’t say anything, but kept his eyes on me, nodding, his arm still outstretched. When I finally reached the spot where Lachlan was standing I seized hold of his hand. And even
though he’d been standing all that time in this freezing water, his hand was still warm.

‘So glad you could make it,’ he said, bowing his head and smiling like we were at some glamorous party instead of standing fully dressed in the middle of the ocean.

The water rose and pushed, nearly making me lose my balance. ‘OK, I’m getting out now,’ I said nervously, and pulled away from Lachlan. But his fingers curled around my wrist,
holding me tight. My heart hammered. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Now’s not a good time to go,’ he said quietly. ‘There’s a wave coming.’

I turned my head to see a wave swelling in the distance – a really
big
wave – rising up like something from a horror movie. I felt the current begin to pull us out and towards
it. ‘Let me go!’

But Lachlan held on. ‘You can’t outswim it,’ he said. ‘We’ll have to ride it out. Together.’

‘Ride it out?’ I said hysterically. ‘This is not a
horse,
Lachlan. It’s a freakin huge wave.’ One that was looming up, larger and closer.

Lachlan wrapped one arm and then the other around me, pressing my chest tightly against his and holding me there. I was so surprised that for a moment I forgot my panic. Forgot to struggle. And
when he spoke again I could not only hear his words but feel them, passing from his body directly into mine. ‘When I say
now,
I want you to close your eyes and hold your breath. And
then just trust me, OK?’

‘I really don’t –’

But Lachlan’s arms pulled me in even more securely. ‘
Now
.’ Then together we plunged down into the water and under the wave. Me and Lachlan.

I kept my eyes screwed tightly closed, feeling the water dragging at my hair and clothes. Strange thoughts darted around my head.

Are we sinking or rising?

Maybe we were suspended in the same spot, going nowhere at all.

I’m drowning.

Maybe I was dead already.

Things slowed down. My fingers uncurled and my pulse steadied. Bubbles tickled my skin like the nibbling of tiny fish and I became aware of a sound – slow and rhythmic. Lachlan’s
heart, beating against my chest.

Then Lachlan started kicking and we began moving up, up, up.

We broke the surface and I gasped. The air felt strange as it filled my lungs, like it was my first ever breath. I gazed around, amazed at how different everything looked. I
mean, the sand and the car park and the houses that lined the beach road – they were all still there, exactly as they had been just a minute ago. But they looked different somehow. Brighter,
and cleaner. My head felt like this too, like someone had opened it up and scrubbed off the barnacles. I started to laugh.

Lachlan still had his arms around me, even though the wave had gone and we’d been carried almost to the shore. ‘Are you OK?’

‘I’m fine,’ I said.

But
fine
didn’t begin to describe it. I looked up at Lachlan, grinning like an imbecile. ‘It’s probably safe to let go of me now.’

Lachlan’s eyebrows lifted. ‘Now why would I go and throw away an opportunity like this?’

And he leant in and kissed me.

As we stood there, chest high in water, I felt like I was in the middle of my own romance novel. Those amazingly beautiful arms of his wrapped around me, those hands pressed against my sides.
His lips were ridiculously soft and delicious, and I even felt fluttering butterflies, all wonderful and tingly. Another massive wave could have dragged me all the way to the South Pole and I
wouldn’t have noticed.

Lachlan pulled back and looked at me, head tilted, smiling a little nervously. ‘Was that OK?’ he said. ‘I mean, was it OK for me to do that?’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘That was very OK.’

I rested my head against his chest and listened to the rhythm of his heart beating in his chest – that strong, unwavering pulse. Then I felt the rumble of laughter.

‘What?’ I said, looking up at him.

‘I just can’t believe it,’ he said. ‘I mean, I finally got near you without you-know-who jumping out and stopping me.’

‘You mean Miranda?’

‘She’s like a bodyguard,’ said Lachlan darkly. ‘Except that she’s not trying to protect you.’

Overhead, seagulls screamed and wheeled. I nodded. For the first time in weeks, my head felt clear and unmuddled. ‘Miranda’s trying to hurt me,’ I said. ‘The way she hurt
Katie.’

‘Yes,’ said Lachlan quietly. ‘She is.’

The words hung there for a while.

‘Do you believe that weird things can happen?’ I said. ‘You know – the kind of things that you shouldn’t really believe in if you’re a normal, sensible
person?’ I was speaking quickly, before I could change my mind.

The water lapped around us as Lachlan mulled this over. ‘I guess I believe in grey,’ he said eventually.

‘What does that mean?’

‘It’s something my grandpa used to say,’ said Lachlan. ‘Some things aren’t straightforward. Not everything is true or false, real or imaginary, black or white.
It’s not that simple.’ He looked at me, a shy smile on his face. ‘Does that make any sense at all?’

‘It makes a lot of sense to me,’ I told him.

Then Lachlan kissed me for the second time and the butterflies were set in motion all over again – looping, swirling, twirling.

When we stopped Lachlan held me a little way away from him, his face serious. ‘Olive, I need you to promise me something.’

My heart jumped. ‘What?’

‘That from now on you let me help you. Don’t go doing anything about Miranda without me. Don’t even go near her. Whatever we do we’ll do together, OK?’

I squinted up at him. ‘Are you ever off-duty, Mr Lifesaver Guy?’ I said, smiling.

Lachlan shook his head. ‘Not when I’m around you,’ he said.

This time it was
me
who kissed Lachlan.

When we finally got cold and began to walk back to shore, I felt like a superhero – strong and invincible – ready to save the entire world.