Shifting Gears (5 page)

“Can I help you with those?” He points
to the beer bottles in my arms.

I glare at him for a moment, a wave of
heat mixed with anger and lust blowing through me. “No thanks.” I
grit my teeth and push past him.

I can’t do the pretend game right now.
Holt in my face like this out of nowhere. What a stupid idea. No
way in hell can I hide that I know who he is, or how I feel, or
what I want to do to him. Not again. Not seeing him looking as hot
as he always did.

I walk away, trying to maintain my
composure, while I’m exploding on the inside. What the hell is he
doing? Damn it. When I reach our table, my friends are staring at
something behind me, looking as if they’ve seen a ghost. Holt. He
followed me. I don’t turn around, setting the beers on the table
instead.

As I start to sit down, Holt says,
“Can I talk to you, Nicolette?”

Shit...there it is again. My name.
From his lips. A shiver makes its way down my back.

Cass whispers something to Clay, which
makes him jump up from his stool and come to stand beside me. He
squeezes my hand. “She doesn’t have anything to say to you and
doesn’t need to hear anything you have to say to her. Am I right,
Niki?”

My cheeks burn at being put on the
spot, and I’ve lost my words again. I manage to slowly nod in
agreement. So much for pretending not to know who he is.

“You see? So keep it moving, bud,”
Clay shouts at him, making people turn and look in our
direction.

Holt glares at him, his jaw tight. “I
don’t know who the fuck you are, if you’re her man or not, but I
intend to take that place, so I am not, nor will I ever be, your
fucking bud.”

Oh my God. Did he really just say
that? Oh my God. I can’t breathe. I must look like an idiot,
standing there, staring, with my jaw dropped. Yet again.

Clay finally breaks the silence. “Good
luck with that,” he says scornfully as he puts his arm around my
waist.

I tilt my head to look at him, and he
winks, obviously not intending to correct Holt about us being a
couple. Smart. Plus, I like Holt thinking Clay’s my man. No way in
hell do I want him to know what my life has really been like since
he left.

Holt focuses his attention back on me
again, and I lock eyes with him, unable to look away. Those eyes.
God. “A moment, Nicolette?”

Thankfully, my liquid courage seems to
have kicked in. “I have nothing to say to you, Holt.” I slam my
hand down on the table, causing the bottles to rattle. “I don’t
know how you can just show up after all this time and think I would
want to listen to you. It’s been three fucking years, Holt. I got
nothing. No phone call, no letter, not one fucking
thing.”

I don’t normally have such a foul
mouth, but talking to Holt, being so caught up in anger and the
reminder of what his leaving did to me, the words are coming
out.

“I don’t know how long you’re staying,
but I hope it’s not long.” It hurts to hear myself say those words.
They’re so far from the truth—but I suck in my tears and hope he
doesn’t see. “If you plan on bringing Kilo back to the clinic, I’ll
recommend you to one of my colleagues. I’m certain they’ll meet
your needs satisfactorily.” I let out a deep sigh, hoping he didn’t
hear the frustration hidden within it. “So no, Holt, I don’t have a
moment.” I’m almost breathless, my whole body shaking from
confronting him.

He stands silent, and there’s anger
mixed with that all-too-familiar look of lust in his eyes. He
doesn’t speak, and I begin to think he won’t, that the encounter is
finally over.

“No other doctor will meet my needs
satisfactorily,
Nicolette.”

My breath hitches at those words, at
their double meaning. Does he notice?

“I intend on staying however long I
need to, and, as far as Kilo goes, he likes his new doctor, so I
have no intention of changing.” Before I can respond, he inches
closer to me, closing in on me.

Clay tightens his hold and
instinctively tries to pull me away.

Cass, still sitting, puts a hand on
Clay’s forearm. We both look down at her. She gives Clay a strange
look, her face relaxed, as if she’s trying to calm Clay
down.

I turn my attention back to Holt, not
understanding Cass’s reaction.

He leans into my ear, and his hot
breath tickles my skin, almost making my body abandon its senses.
He whispers to me. “We’ll talk when you’re ready, Nicolette, and
you
are
going to hear what I have to say to you. I’ll
wait.”

He walks away.

What the hell? My words had no effect
on him whatsoever.

No way I’m going home now. I’m not
ready for my dreams to be controlled by those words, those
eyes...those lips so close to my skin.

I’m dancing with Clay, swaying my hips
in sync with his. He knows me well enough to know I’m only this
brave when I’m smashed, which I am, terribly. He’s taking advantage
of the moment because it’s such a rarity for me.

While Clay moves slowly with me, I can
sense someone watching us. My skin is almost burning from the
glare. I hope it’s Holt. I want him to see that I’m happy, living
my life without him. That his presence has no effect on me at all.
That he’s nothing but a distant memory. If only any of that were
true. I tighten my arms around Clay and throw my head back,
laughing as if he’s told me a joke.

I didn’t notice them come up, but two
guys are now dancing with us. The one with the sexy green eyes and
shaggy blond hair grabs my waist and pulls me away from Clay. I
pull away from him for a second, but then I let my body take over.
Let myself feel him, his closeness. The ridges of his chest are
crushing my breasts.

He’s seriously hot, and I’m sure he
knows it. My overanalyzing mind tries to butt in for a moment,
wondering why the hell he’s dancing with me, but the I-don’t-give-a
shit side of me wins out. We dance for a while, and I’m laughing
with Clay beside me, as he dances with the other hot guy. He’s
looking at Clay in such a suggestive way, like he wants to take him
right there on the dance floor. They slowly inch themselves away
from us, further into the shadows.

My senses come back to me a little,
now that I’m alone with my hot guy. He strokes my ass and lifts me
toward his hips, pulling my body into his.

I laugh, and try to play it cool. “I
think I need to get off my feet a bit, but more, like, in a
chair.”

He ignores me, and continues to grope
my ass, smiling seductively at me.

“Really, I need a break.” I try to
push myself away from him.

Hot Guy is suddenly yanked off me and
gone. In a flash. Gone. My eyes follow his body as it’s thrown
across the room, and standing over him is Holt.

He was watching.

I can’t hear what Holt is saying to
him, but it’s clear he isn’t giving Hot Guy an opportunity to
speak. Or get up.

Hot Guy, who suddenly doesn’t look
very hot anymore, staggers up, glaring at Holt and looking as if
he’s about to go at it with him. Instead, he walks away but then
jerks back to Holt. “Fuck you, man. The bitch was having a good
time.” His voice is loud—I can hear it across the room and over the
music. He has the attention of the crowd.

Holt charges him, grabs his shirt, and
raises him
off the fucking floor
. He rams his fist into Hot
Guy’s face, and a gush of blood sprays in the air. After Holt
releases him, Hot Guy falls to the floor. Knocked out cold. From
one punch. Oh my God.

Hot Guy’s friend shows up out of the
shadows along with Clay and takes a long look at what’s going on.
“Fuck. Not again.” He walks over to Not So Hot Guy, pulls him up
off the floor, and drags him in the direction of the
door.

Clay walks toward me, his face white
as a ghost. From the corner of my eye, I see Holt approaching me
even faster with sheer rage all over his. He makes it to me first.
I’m still shocked by what went down, so all I do is stand there, my
heart racing, and stare. Seems that’s all I can do when Holt is
around. Shit.

He grabs my arm and yanks me to his
side.

When he roughly forces me into a walk,
I try to pull away from him. “What are you doing? Let me go, damn
it.”

Clay immediately rushes up behind us.
“What the hell? Let her go, man.”

That intense feeling of heat returns,
sending chills down my back. Holt jerks his head at Clay and
growls, “Back the fuck up. Since you weren’t watching out for your
woman and doing whatever the fuck it was you were doing over in the
corner, I stepped in. That shit back there could’ve gotten a lot
uglier. I stopped it before it did, so now I’m taking her
home.”

Even in my state of drunkenness, I
stop fighting and let Holt pull me along. His anger is pouring off
him, and it scares the shit out of me. I’m afraid he may do to Clay
what he did to Hot Guy on the dance floor, so I let him lead me
out, past the open mouths of Cass and Ang.

“Fuck, Niki, come on.” Clay dodges in
front of us. He pulls on my arm, and Holt tightens. His whole
goddamn body tightens.

Think, Niki. Think fast.
He’s going to hurt Clay.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m all right.
I’ll handle it,” I say, even though I don’t know how the hell I
really am.

Clay looks at me with confusion in his
eyes.

I give him a reassuring nod, trying to
convince him.

He slowly backs off to join Cass and
Ang. They whisper to one another, watching us as we walk out.
Together.

Outside, alone with Holt, I panic. I
need to find a way to break away from him, get back inside, where
it’s safe. He’s directing me to his car, his hand still on my arm,
burning it with his touch. I see it from the distance, the street
light shining down on it, and my heart skips a beat. I’d be lying
if I said I wasn’t excited to see her again.
Her
because, in
my mind, nothing that beautiful, and with those sexy curves, could
be anything but a woman. She’s gentle, yet fierce, and I loved
every inch of her.

She’s a 1967 Buick Special, and I’m
elated to see that she’s still in the same condition as the last
time I saw her. Not that it’s a shock—Holt takes painstaking care
of her. With her cobalt blue and chrome exterior and her sleek
alluring body, she’s pure muscle car. Sex on wheels. To this day
when I hear “Radar Love” by Golden Earring, I think of her, with
her speed and badass look.

Okay, so I’ll at least walk to his
car, just so I can touch her. I can’t resist the urge. To be in the
presence of her beauty again and not acknowledge her would be an
insult. At least that’s what I’m convincing myself. I glide my hand
along her fender, caressing her with the tips of my fingers. Just
touching her excites me. It’s crazy how much I can get affected by
a car.

“You always loved this car, didn’t
you?” Holt whispers in my ear.

I jump at his sudden
closeness.

“Get in.” He’s standing at the
now-open door. Waiting.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” My
liquid courage has returned.

“Get in the fucking car,
Niki.”

This is the first time he’s called me
Niki, and, honestly, I’m disappointed. I start walking away, back
toward The Rox. He yanks my body to him, my back against his chest,
and puts his hands tightly around my waist. My heart is in my
throat.

He doesn’t speak; he just stands there
with his arms around me, not allowing me to move. He leans in and
puts his face in my hair, lifting one hand to slide strands between
his fingers. I hold my breath. Is he shaking? No. That’s got to be
me.

“Get in the fucking car.” He abruptly
pulls his face away from me but doesn’t release his
hold.

I raise my face to him, and the rage
is there, in his eyes. I can’t control my shiver.

The words are about to boil over. I
can feel them making their way up my throat, teasing my lips apart
to scream at him, give him what he deserves. The words that are
etched in the deepest parts of my soul, where they have lain
dormant, like a festering disease. Waiting to rear up and show
their ugly face like they always do at any sign of happiness. Such
is my history with men after Holt.

“Nicolette, please get in the
car.”

Though I’m taken aback at the sudden
change in his temper, I see my opportunity to escape. “I’m going
back to my friends and trying to pretend I didn’t see your face
again. You can’t show up after three years of disappearing and
think you can just tell me what to do. How could you seriously even
think that, Holt? After how you left?

“I appreciate you stepping in and
getting rid of that jerk in there, but I didn’t ask for it. Nor do
I want to be out here with you right now. I only went with you to
get you away from my friends, because I was scared you’d do the
same to them as you did to him. Clay doesn’t deserve that. He was
only looking out for me, and the thought of you hurting him had me
in a panic.” I close my eyes and suck in a breath. “I don’t know
you. I never did really, so I don’t know what you’re capable
of.”