Sidelined (8 page)

What did Kayla and I enjoy? Clothes and make-up! I understood more than most that material things don’t bring happiness, but they can provide a great distraction. A plan formed in my head. All I needed to do was get Mr and Mrs Shaw’s approval.

Chapter
7 - Storm

I stayed on the beach for more than an hour before heading home. I needed the time to think. Partly to keep mulling over my plan to give Kayla and me something fun to look forward to, and partly to stare out at the waves and try to figure out my next move with Jude, and work, and… Jesse. I couldn’t stop thinking about Jesse. Was Taylor right? Did I have options I hadn’t considered? I didn’t want to not be with Jude anymore, but Jesse was so much more on my level. He understood me. Didn’t judge. Didn’t look at me like I was crazy for wanting to stand on my own two feet. Jesse was kind, caring, gorgeous. And his family? Man, I loved them. Jude’s family accepted me and they were never rude to me but they weren’t warm like Jesse’s family. Like my family used to be, back when I had one.

As I walked through the door, the sound of the television greeted me. From my position in the hallway, I saw Jude’s feet hanging over the edge of the sofa in the living room, and I was tempted to walk straight on upstairs without saying anything. In fact, I’d already edged towards the staircase when he called my name.

With a sigh, I went to the living room just as Jude peeled himself from the sofa. His hair was messy and his clothes crumpled where he’d been lying down. My heart did a little flutter at the sight of him before I remembered how pissed I was at him and Will, and everyone for trying to control me. My defences shot up, then slowly fell away when Jude said nothing.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” I asked. “I thought you’d… never mind.” I shook my head. “I’m going to bed.”

“It’s only nine o’clock, Bree.”

Great. It’s still early enough to call Jesse.
I forced myself to stop doing that. To stop thinking of Jesse that way, but what was wrong with calling him? We were friends. I needed my friends when my husband was being an ass.

“Fine. Then I’m going to take a bath.”

Jude reached for me before I could turn away, his touch gentle as always as his fingers closed around mine. “Look at me.”

I didn’t want to. I wasn’t sure what I’d find. Would I see the man I married or the man who was so intent on questioning my every move?

“Jude, please. I just want to take a bath, and sleep. I had a busy day.”

Honestly, it wasn’t work that had tired me out, it was the arguing and the emotion. Even I couldn’t stay positive when the life was being sucked out of me.

“I don’t understand why you’re so mad at me. Why would you even want Taylor here?”

He couldn’t even see the real issue.

“If you can’t understand why I’m mad at you, I don’t see any point in talking.”

I pulled my hand away, and walked out of the room and up the stairs.

Jude didn’t attempt to talk to me again that night.

I didn’t call Jesse but I did call his mom about my plan to give Kayla and me a cool day out. It took a little persuading, but eventually, Mrs Shaw agreed. Yay!

Late Saturday morning, I arrived at the Shaw household, completely buzzing, even though it was pouring with rain. I should have listened better to those weather warnings I heard about the other night on the television. Storms were predicted but so far, all I saw was rain clouds. Besides, we would be inside, how bad could it be?

Mrs Shaw greeted me with a nervous smile as I shook off my umbrella and left it outside on the front step before stepping into their hallway. I didn’t need to look around for Jesse since I knew he had to go out early for a hospital appointment. I was too pumped to be disappointed. Besides, I’d see him later when I dropped Kayla back to the house.

“I think I’d better stay here.” I kept my feet planted firmly on the doormat. “I don’t want to drip all over your floor.”

Leaning forward to peer out of the small window beside the door, Mrs Shaw gave a small sigh. “You will drive carefully, won’t you? I’m probably worrying over nothing but the weather reports-”

I placed my hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. We’ll only be a couple of hours and if the weather looks like it’s going to get too bad I’ll bring Kayla right home.”

Before she could say anything else, Kayla bounded down the stairs carrying a backpack which looked pretty heavily stuffed.

“Morning!” She skipped over to me with a huge grin on her face. She raised her arms to give me a hug, then stopped, noting how wet I was. “I’ll hug you later.”

“Kayla, what have you got in that bag?”

Kayla fluttered her eyelids at her mother. “Clothes.”

“And make-up?”

“A little make-up. You said I could!”

That was the point I’d had to work real hard on to convince her that my plan for the day was a good one. What’s the fun of a photo shoot if you don’t get to dress up a little? Nick said I could bring Kayla to the studio to play around with make-up and have a few photos taken. Saturdays were usually busy but a few people had cancelled their shoots because of the weather reports. Seemed a little crazy to me. Why would rain interfere with a photos hoot? It wasn’t treacherous, and even though I agreed it was better to be safe than sorry –
I
would have cancelled if the rain was too crazy – it was a waste to back out of an appointment “just in case”.

Anyway, I’d had to beg because I knew Kayla would love the experience and I wanted her to feel good about herself instead of driving herself crazy by telling herself she was a loser for not blowing that guy.

“A little make-up,” Mrs Shaw agreed. “Bree, I’m trusting you not to make my daughter resemble a hooker, okay?”

“Mom!”

Laughing I said, “I promise. I’ll go easy on the make-up.”

Kayla rolled her eyes then gave me a cheeky wink while her mom took another glance out the window.

“Mrs Shaw, I swear I will keep a close watch on the weather. It’ll take us just under an hour to get back from the studio so the second things start to look bad, I’ll bring Kayla home. I’ll keep her safe.”

Mrs Shaw nodded, giving me a more confident smile. “I know you will. Okay, you two go have fun, and give me a call when you’re on your way home, okay? I’ll have dinner waiting for you. Well, my husband will.”

Kayla and I giggled. Aside from cakes and biscuits, Mrs Shaw was known for her terrible cooking, and Mr Shaw, Jesse and Kayla took turns to make the family meals. Jesse once told me it wasn’t worth the indigestion to eat anything his mom made. A little shiver slid down my spine when I thought of him. He’d be home when we got back and I really hoped he’d have some time to talk to me. I needed him so much after the last few days with Jude, plus, I hadn’t had a chance to tell him how cool work was. I’d pushed aside the fact I betrayed him by hanging out with his ex, but hopefully I could explain when we were face to face… but what if he already knew? Oh God, what if Taylor
told
him? I wouldn’t put it past her. She loved telling other people’s secrets, and… oh, even worse. What if she told him everything I said? What if he knew I had feelings for him, and she-

“Hey, Bree!” Kayla waved her hand in front of my face, and I blinked, trying to get a grip on my racing thoughts. In the time I’d been panicking, she’d put her coat and shoes on and slung her backpack over her shoulder.

“Sorry,” I said. “I’m ready to go now.”

Not gonna lie, the drive to the studio was a little rougher than I expected. As always, the traffic was slow and the whole way rain hammered against the windows forcing me to keep my wipers on at the highest speed. However, by the time we arrived, the rain wasn’t quite as heavy as before and I hoped the weather reports were wrong, and it wouldn’t ruin our day.

After introducing Kayla to Tanya and Nick, Tanya and I took Kayla through to the make-up room.

“Okay, missy. Let’s have a peek inside that backpack!”

Kayla grinned. She was already dressed in a cute outfit; blue jeans, a close fitting black sweater, and a cream, silk scarf with giraffes printed on it.

“Hey, I totally want that scarf,” I said. “It’s adorable.”

“It was a Christmas gift from Jesse. You should ask him where he got it.”

“I am
so
doing that,” I told her, making a mental note to remember when I saw him later.

Rummaging through Kayla’s clothes lifted my mood and it only took a short time for us to decide which outfits she’d wear for the shoot. We had the whole morning but we had to factor in make-up time, plus time to actually take the photos, so we picked three outfits. Two casual, one dressy. Because I was such a huge fan of it not to mention a little jealous of Kayla’s style at such a young age, we started with the dressy outfit. Luckily, the studio was warm, because the dress was pretty short. It was made up of black and hot pick lace flowers, and of course it had lining underneath so she didn’t look like a hooker. This dress was mom approved. Tanya let me get to work on the make-up. Challenging because I wanted to go crazy with it but as promised, I kept it fairly low key.

When Kayla was ready, Nick was in position, so Kayla took her place in front of the white screen that had already been lit. I could feel the heat from behind the camera.

“Okay, Kayla, let’s start with a few basic shots. Just smile for me.”

She shuffled her feet for a second like she couldn’t decide how to stand.

“Relax,” Nick told her. “We’re gonna keep it simple. Pretend like it’s picture day at school.”

“Okay,” she mumbled.

What happened to my girl? She’d been confident and excited seconds ago. With the camera pointed at her she’d fallen apart a little.

“Are you okay, honey?” I asked.

“Yeah, I just… I’m not a model. This feels weird.”
I honestly didn’t see this coming. I wasn’t sure if this was part of her feeling down on herself after what happened with that guy but she looked so uncomfortable, I had to go give her a hug.

“Hey,” I said, as I embraced her. “You still wanna do this? I can take you home if you want?”

“No, I do want to. I don’t know how.”

I’m no model either but as soon as I’m wearing great clothes I can’t help getting a little… posey. All I had to do was channel that feeling, and put Kayla at ease.

I turned to the camera, dramatically flicking my hair over my shoulder. “Well, it’s like this.” I raised my chin like a diva. “You gotta think you’re the most awesome person in the world.”

Kayla giggled and I stuck my hip out to one side, leaning forward slightly and doing an over-the-top pout towards the lens. Nick snapped a photo of me, and I spun around so my back was to him then looked over my shoulder, giving it the teenage girl duck face. He snapped another photo, and I faced him again, blowing him a kiss.

Beside me, Kayla laughed her ass off and I pulled her into a one-armed hug. “Say cheese!”

She was laughing so hard, I started to laugh too, and as the two of us messed around together, Nick kept on snapping away and she began to forget her nerves. I didn’t care that I wasn’t perfectly dressed or made up, it wasn’t about me. As soon as Kayla relaxed, I stepped away and let her do her own thing for a while.

Two hours passed, and one outfit change and a make-up update later, Kayla had really found her groove. I had to keep her in check any time she got carried away, and attempted something her mother would consider whore-ish, but for the most part, she just looked like a teenage girl having fun.

“Hey, Bree. Can we do some photos together? Proper ones, not like when we were messing around before.”

I combed my fingers through my hair. “I don’t know. I’m not wearing great clothes, or make-up for that matter.”

“You look beautiful! You always do. Go throw on some lipstick and mascara and get over here!”

How could I possibly say no? As I made a quick trip to the make-up room to touch up, I felt a swell of pride. Not just for making her happy with the photo shoot. Because I saw how special she was. So young, and still learning about who she wanted to be but she wasn’t afraid to let go of her fears and try something different, something that made her feel good. She really was becoming the little sister I’d always wanted. I wished we could do this every weekend.

Jesse flashed into my mind. If I was with him, Kayla would be my sister for real. I wouldn’t dread going home because I knew he’d listen to me no matter what I wanted to talk about. And I’d listen to him, too. I was used to soccer talk, and with Jesse it would be
different
soccer talk.

I knew I was getting carried away when I lost concentration and poked myself in the eye with my mascara wand.

Truthfully, I didn’t know if any of that was what I wanted. But I knew I felt things for Jesse I probably shouldn’t.

Knowing Kayla was waiting, I quit daydreaming and hurried back to her where she waited, chatting easily to Nick and Tanya as if she’d known them forever.

“I’m back,” I said. “Let’s-”

My sentence got cut short as a bright flash of lightning lit up the sky – and the room – before the lights flickered off, plunging us into darkness.

Kayla screamed and grabbed hold of my arm. “What just happened?”

Panic crept into my gut. I promised Mrs Shaw I’d keep watch on the weather, but we’d been having so much fun, I totally forgot about the storm. Rain battered the windows behind the closed blinds.