Signs of Life (12 page)

Jeremy had no idea if Craig was gay or not, and it didn’t matter. The kid obviously had to endure an insensitive bully of a father, and how could Jeremy possibly live with himself if he sent that boy to jail to further endure Christ only knew what? The boys deserved to be punished, but like Kai said, they didn’t deserve to have their lives ruined in the process. They weren’t hardened criminals; they were kids who’d made a mistake. Jeremy knew what he had to do: approve of the community service, let those boys… and Kai… into his home, his sanctuary.

Jeremy felt raw and exposed from all the unaccustomed emotion, the dam he’d carefully built around the charred remains of his heart threatening to crack open and spill grief and bitter anguish out, and so he did what he taught himself to do. He pushed his body to the point of exhaustion, to where nothing could possibly exist except the need for another breath, the need to get above physical pain into quiet. The illusion of peace.

So Jeremy just ran.

“SHAUNA, PLEASE
stay after class for a moment.”

“Mr. D, I gotta get going. My mama got Dante and—”

“It’ll just take a few minutes.” Kai’s voice was gentle but implacable, and Shauna bowed her head but remained in her seat until the other students had filed out. Kai knelt down next to her desk, and she partially turned away from him, whispering, “Did I make a mistake on somethin’? I know I didn’t get all the copying done, but I—”

“Shauna, move your hair away from your face, please.” Kai was careful to keep his distance from the girl and not touch her, but he wasn’t going to let her leave the room until he confirmed what he suspected the moment she walked into class.

Shauna’s hands were shaking, and Kai’s heart broke as she tucked her hair behind her ear to reveal a large puffy bruise that extended along one smooth cheek, the injury reddish purple and angry. It must be throbbing painfully, and Kai couldn’t stop the breath that hissed out through his teeth. She flinched, and he made a concerted effort to keep his voice soft.

“Who did this to you, Shauna? Your mom?”

“No! She would never—”

“Who, then? Your boyfriend?”

“My boyfriend hauled ass when I found out I was expectin’ Dante,” Shauna said, her voice bitter. “He ain’t never even seen him.” Kai waited until she sighed and said, “It was my mama’s boyfriend. He mad because Dante was cryin’ and woke him up. He works all night,” she added hastily. “I shoulda kept the baby more quiet.”

“Shauna, there’s no excuse for a grown man to lay his hands on you this way in anger. I think you should report it. If you were under eighteen, I would have to do it under the law.”

“No!” Her normally quiet voice was almost a shout, panic threading through it. “I can’t! He might—”

“Has he ever hit you before?”

Her silence spoke volumes. Kai tried to tamp down the rage surging through him, and he asked a question he was dreading knowing the answer to. “Has he ever abused you in ways other than hitting you?”

Shauna flinched again. “You mean—”

When Kai nodded, she said, “No way. He helps my mama pay the bills, and I shoulda kept the baby quiet so he can sleep. That’s all.”

Something in the way she carefully wouldn’t meet his eyes told Kai she wasn’t telling the whole truth, that if sexual abuse hadn’t happened yet, it eventually would. He stood up and walked back toward his desk, leaning against it and crossing his arms, watching as Shauna arranged her hair to cover her bruised cheek.

“I’m starting a self-defense class one afternoon a week after school, and I’d like you to come, Shauna. Every woman needs to know basic ways to defend herself.”

“I can’t beat up my mama’s boyfriend,” she said doubtfully, and Kai interrupted her.

“You can if he’s trying to force his way into your bedroom,” he said bluntly. “And I don’t care if the baby is screaming loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood, he doesn’t get to hit you. I want you to be able to defend yourself.”

She stood up and gathered her things, not able to hide a wince as she slung her book bag over one shoulder, making Kai think there were other bruises she could more easily hide than the one on her face.

His jaw clenched and he took a deep breath to try to keep the rage from his voice as he said, “And it’ll be something you can teach your mama too.”

His suspicions were confirmed as tears filled her eyes, and she whispered, “Yeah, okay, then. That would be good. I need to go, Mr. D.”

She walked out, and Kai clenched his fists in helpless anger. God, he’d love to have that woman-beating asshole in front of him right now, make the guy pick on someone his own size, someone who’d learned how to fight back.

He spent the next hour on classroom prep for the following day and then made his way out the door, still seething and worried sick. He’d talk to the people he needed to talk to and get that self-defense class started ASAP. It wasn’t much—he wanted to do more—but it was something.

As Kai headed toward the school parking lot, he saw a flash of color out of the corner of his eye and he swung around to see Jeremy, dressed in black running tights and a neon green Gore-Tex windbreaker, using the back of a bench in the student pickup area to stretch out his hamstrings. Then he stood up straight and raised his arms over his head, twisting from side to side, doing what were obviously cooldown stretches after a run.

Kai walked over to him. “What are you doing here?” He heard the belligerence in his own tone but didn’t back down. He’d had a shitty day and this was all he fucking needed, to be reminded of his own foolishness, and he really hadn’t anticipated seeing Jeremy anywhere except at the community service.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Jeremy said, dropping his arms to his sides and bouncing loosely on the balls of his feet, keeping himself warmed up.

Kai was absolutely not interested in anything this man had to say, and he let his expression speak volumes, holding Jeremy’s gray gaze with his own.

Finally Jeremy broke the stare-down and glanced away. “I made a decision on the community service.” Kai said nothing and Jeremy went on, “I don’t want those boys in my home around my personal things, but they’ll be allowed to work outside on my property, cutting down encroaching vegetation, raking leaves, whatever.”

“What about the home gym? They could clean—”

“I already had the debris hauled away and the structure torn down,” Jeremy said quietly. “I know that the weather is getting cold and wet, and it won’t be feasible to work outside for much longer. I just purchased an old Victorian in town that I’ll be turning into my law offices, and it needs lots of work inside, stripping wallpaper, sanding floors, painting. I’m willing to have them work there when the outside work at the cabin is finished. I hope that will be sufficient.”

“This isn’t anything you needed to tell me in person,” Kai said flatly. “Liliana or Andrew would have called me once you informed them of your decision. What do you
really
want, man? I don’t got time for this.” Jeremy didn’t say anything, and Kai blew out a disgusted breath, muttering, “Whatever,” as he turned to walk away.

“Why did you pretend you didn’t know me at that meeting?”

Kai threw him a withering look over his shoulder and kept walking.

“I came here because I wanted to talk to you about that night.”

Kai froze midstride, then stopped, keeping his back to Jeremy.

“I ain’t interested in hearin’ anything you got to say about that night,” he growled, deliberately letting his accent thicken and the street cant he’d worked so hard to banish from his speech creep back in, hoping to intimidate.

“Please. Let me—let me at least apologize.”

Kai turned and stared Jeremy down once again. “Apologize for what? Gettin’ me off? Gettin’
yourself
off on a hot piece of ass? That’s what people do at clubs like that,
homes
. Ain’t no fuckin’ apology needed.”

“Can we not talk about this here?” Jeremy hissed, glancing around, even though there wasn’t anyone else in sight.

“You can walk me to my car, so that means you got three minutes,” Kai said flatly. “Talk fast.” He turned and stalked off toward the parking lot once again. Jeremy kept pace with him easily, his stride graceful and athletic. Kai hated himself for stealing glances at Jeremy’s skintight running pants, a flash of heat going through him at the way they molded to his lean muscular legs, the substantial bulge between them.

“I wanted to apologize for how I left—left things with you, you know, after,” Jeremy said with difficulty. Kai flashed him a look and Jeremy flinched slightly, to Kai’s intense satisfaction. “I was a douche, but I had reasons—”

“I don’t care about your fuckin’ reasons. That night wasn’t anything more than two horny guys usin’ each other to get off, man. And also, are you apologizing ’cause you’re really sorry about it, or is it all about making yourself more comfortable?”

“Listen,” Jeremy said, stepping in front of Kai, forcing him to stop if he didn’t want to smash into Jeremy’s broad chest. “It’s also everything that came before, the way I was so rough with you, holding you down, making you—I’m sorry, I didn’t know—”

Kai advanced on Jeremy, who retreated until his back was up against an oversized pickup truck. Kai pressed close until their bodies were only inches apart, and he stared deep into Jeremy’s eyes.

“Ain’t nobody
makes
me do anything, not like that, not anymore. What you did to me I wanted, make no mistake,” he breathed, watching with satisfaction as Jeremy dropped his eyes helplessly to his lips. “So no apology necessary.”

Feeling more in control now that he’d knocked Jeremy off balance, Kai backed off, smirked at Jeremy insolently, and walked away.

JEREMY STARED
after Kai, feeling totally and completely out of his depth. He didn’t know what he expected to accomplish by showing up at Kai’s school like this, but what he definitely didn’t expect was to be tingling with arousal after just five minutes alone with him. When he first thought of coming here, it sounded like a fucking awesome idea: clear the air before the community service so there wouldn’t be any—well, at least not
as much
—awkwardness when they were thrown together again. Jeremy just didn’t want to deal with that. All of this was distasteful enough as it was, and having a guilty conscience too was the last thing he needed.

Kai could choose what he wanted to do with Jeremy’s apology, accept it or not, but at least his conscience would be clear and he could sleep at night. But Kai saw right through Jeremy’s shallow intentions and called him on it, and instead of being angry or defensive, Jeremy got turned on. Go figure.

A big reason he was so attracted to Kai at that stupid club was Kai’s air of self-confidence, of self-possession. It wasn’t cockiness but an awareness of who he was. It was in the way he held himself, the way he moved. When he backed Jeremy against that truck just now, got in his face, his husky, accented voice deepening to almost a growl, Jeremy was breathless. Kai seemed dangerous, unpredictable, the gangster he once was evident in his speech, his stance. He wasn’t going to put up with Jeremy’s shit, and God, it revved Jeremy’s engine.

Jeremy watched as Kai’s battered yellow Jeep pulled out of the parking lot, and then he took off in the opposite direction, running slow and easy, letting his stiffening muscles warm up again until he reached his full stride, heading toward home. An hour later he stood in the shower, letting the spray beat down on his shoulders, his body thrumming with a pleasant combination of physical exhaustion and low-grade arousal.

Jeremy soaped up his hands and ran them leisurely over himself, enjoying the sensation, taking pleasure in his own touch. He circled his nipples with his thumbs, slowly, tweaking the hardened tips, his breath catching on a gasp. Jeremy leaned back against the tiled shower wall, widening his stance and starting a slow stroke of his cock, base to tip, the fingers of one hand still pinching a nipple. He remembered how he’d tugged on Kai’s piercing with his teeth, being rewarded with a guttural moan and the way Kai arched up into Jeremy’s mouth.

He wanted to feel Kai’s mouth on
him
like that, kissing him, sucking his neck, his nipples. Jeremy would put his hands on Kai’s shoulders and push him to his knees, grip his cock by the base and tell him to open up and suck. He would hold Kai’s head still and push in until he hit the back of Kai’s throat, those sensual lips stretching wide as he took Jeremy deep. He’d look up at Jeremy with those beautiful eyes—

Jeremy closed his own eyes and let a long, low moan escape as he jacked himself slowly, his body feeling more alive than he could remember in a long time. He wasn’t just going through the motions, looking for a mechanical release; he was fully engaged, pleasure burning through his body like the sweetest fire. He slowed his strokes even more, rolling his tight, heavy balls in one palm. He’d hold Kai by the hair, and Kai would swallow every drop of what Jeremy had to give. He would stand and spin Jeremy around, slam his belly up against the tile wall and—

Jeremy groaned as his hole pulsed, pushing out against that imaginary intrusion, and he reached behind himself and let one soap-slick fingertip massage his puckered entrance. He widened his legs further and slid his finger inside, hissing at the stretch and burn, the sight of his cock thrusting through the tunnel of his own fist and the thought of Kai inside him making him come hard, his hoarse cry of Kai’s name ringing off the shower walls. He fucked himself through it, feeling the way his hole greedily sucked on his finger, his dick throbbing as the hot come filled his palm.

Gasping for breath, Jeremy sagged back against the wall, his knees shaking, his heart thundering. As he recovered, he wondered if there was any way he could get Kai into his bed the way he’d wanted to that night at the gay club before Jeremy fucked it up so royally. They could enjoy each other, take advantage of the obvious chemistry they had, screw each other mindless, and then when the community service ended, they could go their separate ways, no hard feelings. Jeremy rinsed off and got out of the shower, pleasantly enveloped in a postorgasm haze and the anticipation of seeing Kai again.