Signs of Life (24 page)

Jeremy turned his head on the pillow, looking away, as he said, “It was never an issue for some reason. We used them in the beginning, of course, and neither of us ever mentioned
not
using them, so we just kept on.”

Kai brushed Jeremy’s hair off his forehead, combing his fingers through the thick strands, waiting. Jeremy took a deep breath, then turned his head again and looked straight into Kai’s eyes.

“I want to experience something with you that I’ve never experienced with anyone before. It’s scaring me a little, but it—but it feels right.” When Kai leaned down to kiss him again, Jeremy held up his hand and stopped him, but gently, tracing his thumb over Kai’s lips.

“Kai, I can’t make you any promises right now, but I—I want to try. And trying is more than I ever thought I’d want again. Is that going to be enough for you? Tell me if it’s not, because I’ll understand.”

Kai kissed Jeremy’s thumb, then nipped it softly, his eyes holding his. “It’s enough, Jere. It’s more than enough.”

The next several weeks flew by. Kai’s weekdays were busy so Jeremy didn’t see him much Monday through Friday, but they texted every day and talked most every night. Jeremy cherished those late-night conversations with his new boyfriend, finding him easy to talk to, and in return wanting to know everything about him.

“Tell me how you ended up being a teacher,” Jeremy requested one night, propping himself up on some pillows and getting comfortable. He could hear the rustling of Kai’s sheets through the phone as he did the same, and then Kai blew out a breath.

“Remember meeting Dave that night at the pub? He’s the one I said was the assistant principal.”

Jeremy thought back to the night at the pub where he’d met some of Kai’s coworkers, recalling a balding older man who appeared to be in his late fifties.

“Yeah, I remember him.”

“Well, when I first got out of detention, I was a mess psychologically, emotionally, physically. My older brother was incarcerated in federal prison for his role in the drug ring, my father was dead, and I hadn’t seen my mother in years. So I was sent to a halfway house and then placed with a foster family for the remaining year and a half until I turned eighteen and aged out.

“I got lucky with my foster family, Jeremy. They got permission from my Portland probation officer and moved us here, got me totally away from my old life. My PO here enrolled me in an alternative high school, threatened my ass with more detention if I didn’t attend, and without the temptation of my old gang, my old way of life, I was able to actually focus on getting an education. Dave was one of my teachers.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Kai chuckled. “From the first he didn’t let me get away with any shit. If I ditched class, he called my house to find out where I was. When I told him that I worked the closing shift at a fast-food restaurant and sometimes I was too tired to get up in time for first period, he showed up there one day and talked to the manager. I don’t know exactly what he said to him, but the guy changed my shift so that I never had to close again.”

“There went your excuse,” Jeremy teased, and Kai snorted, but when he spoke again his voice was serious.

“No one had ever—I don’t know,
believed
in me before, you know? He made it clear that he had certain expectations of me, and I found myself wanting to live up to them. He saw something in me that I never in a million years would have seen in myself.”

Jeremy just listened, moved at the quiet emotion in Kai’s voice.

“I worked really hard those couple of years, and with his help got a scholarship to the local community college. My grades there led to almost a full ride at Oregon State, and once there I decided that I wanted to be just like Mr. Murphy.”

Every time Jeremy learned these bits and pieces of Kai’s past, the more his awe grew at what he had overcome and accomplished.

“What about you, Jeremy? Why a lawyer?”

“Family business,” Jeremy said simply. “My father was a named partner in one of the biggest law firms in South Florida, and after I graduated from Harvard, I went to work with him. When he died suddenly of a heart attack, I inherited his share of the firm. I worked my ass off for a couple of years, trying to deserve the name on the letterhead, putting in eighty-hour weeks. Then I met Brent, and—well, my priorities shifted. Growing up I hardly ever saw my dad, and I didn’t want that for my relationship.”

“What about your mom?” Kai asked softly.

“I hardly ever saw her either,” Jeremy replied, his tone dry. “She was busy with her charity work and fundraising, was one of those stereotypical ‘ladies who lunch.’ When my father died, she decided to travel, would spend months at a time in Europe, the Caribbean. We talk on Christmas and my birthday, and that’s about it.”

Kai hummed in understanding, and Jeremy continued. “I approached the other partners about buying out my share of the firm, and after a month or so of negotiation, they agreed. It left me—well, let’s just say I’m ‘comfortable.’”

Kai snorted but didn’t ask, and Jeremy wondered what he would say if he knew Jeremy was rich enough as a result of the buy-out that he didn’t need to work again a day in his life if he didn’t want to.

“Brent wanted a fresh start, and so did I, so we decided to move to California and build our life together there. I’m not the type to sit around or play golf all day, so I ended up taking the California bar and working part-time in a firm there. I was happy enough doing that I didn’t need to play in the big leagues.”

Kai was silent for a minute, and Jeremy just listened to him breathe.

“You think you can be happy again someday, Jeremy?” Kai asked finally, his voice soft.

Jeremy smiled, even knowing he couldn’t see him, as he whispered, “You know something, Kai? I already am.”

“WHOA, THIS
place is
sick
!”

Jeremy blinked a couple of times and Kai leaned in close, suppressed laughter in his voice as he muttered, “It’s a compliment, trust me.”

Jeremy still looked dubious, but he nodded at Craig and sort of shrugged. “It needs a lot of work, and I’m counting on you guys to make it even more… er, sick.”

Kai couldn’t help but snort at that, and Loren laughed outright. An electrical wiring problem that had to be resolved delayed their start for several weeks longer than anticipated, and the community service crew had just gotten to Jeremy’s Victorian for their first Saturday shift there. The boys immediately scattered, looking around, shouted comments coming from all directions. Kai had just called them back in, and Craig’s enthusiastic observation was echoed by the others, their excited voices ringing through the empty rooms.

Loren held up his hands and boomed for them to “Chill out.”

“Has anybody ever stripped wallpaper before?” Jeremy asked when they subsided.

Feet shuffled as all four muttered, “No, sir.”

“Well, neither have I,” Jeremy said. “So I’ve asked Mr. Clark, my general contractor, to bring a couple of guys over today to show us all how to do it. I want you to listen closely to them because these are all skills that, if you learn them and learn them well, you can use to maybe start your own handyman business someday. While we work on this house, you’ll not only be learning how to strip wallpaper, but to sand and refinish floors, hang drywall, many other things that you can probably make a decent living at someday if you pay attention and learn how to do them right.”

The boys were quiet as they processed this, and Jeremy went on, “College isn’t for everyone, but everyone needs to learn a trade that they can use to support themselves and maybe a family someday.”

Kai was struck speechless, and he stood there blinking, his heart so full he thought it would burst out of his chest. Even Loren’s voice was a little hoarse as he said, “Wow. Take advantage of this awesome opportunity, guys. Mr. Speer did
not
have to do this. You know it, and I know it. So don’t fuck it up.” The boys’ eyes all widened at the profanity, but Loren’s words struck home, and they nodded earnestly.

“Okay, Mr. Clark and his crew will be here in around fifteen minutes, so go change into your coveralls and be ready for a hard day’s work.” Jeremy waved his hand at the stack of freshly laundered coveralls sitting on the mahogany counter, and the boys whooped, grabbing them up and dispersing, chattering excitedly.

Loren wandered after them, supervising, and Kai turned to Jeremy, murmuring, “I need to see a room with a locking door. Now.”

Jeremy’s eyes flared, and he led Kai into his office, pulling the pocket doors shut and locking them. Kai moved into his arms and Jeremy pulled him close. They kissed leisurely but deeply until Kai finally pulled back, bringing one hand up to caress Jeremy’s cheek.

“You have any idea how fucking awesome I think you are?” Kai whispered, feathering his thumb over Jeremy’s lips. “What you’re doing for these boys, I don’t even have the words. None of them, not one, are college material, and—”

Jeremy shushed him with another warm brush of his mouth. “They’re decent kids, Kai. They’ve all stepped up and worked hard these past few weeks, and—well, everyone deserves a chance.”

Kai pulled him close and kissed him roughly until they were both gasping for air and aching with need.

“Tonight,” Kai promised, giving Jeremy’s ass a two-handed squeeze before he reluctantly pulled away, adjusting himself with a grimace.

Jeremy’s eyes were glazed with desire and heat, his lips swollen. He looked so sexy Kai almost forgot he was supposed to be in charge of a bunch of punk kids, and had to fight not to drop to his knees for him right then. He groaned in frustration, and Jeremy ran his fingertips down Kai’s cheek, his own face yearning.

“Tonight,” he said hoarsely, then unlocked the doors and strode from the room.

Kai stood there breathing deeply, getting his body under control before going in search of Loren and the boys. He found them upstairs milling around, looking through the rooms, exclaiming over the ugly wallpaper and the damaged floors.

Loren sidled up to him and murmured wickedly, “You have a little something on your mouth.” He stroked the corner of his own lips with his thumb as if wiping something away, and Kai elbowed him so hard Loren’s air whooshed out and he almost doubled over, laughing uproariously. The boys’ heads swiveled curiously toward them, and Kai was saved by the slamming of vehicle doors outside. The kids promptly forgot about what Loren was laughing at and rushed downstairs en masse, sounding like a stampeding herd of elephants.

“We didn’t do anything, you prick,” Kai muttered, elbowing Loren again as he stood there grinning like a fool.

“Why not? Hell, even I wanted to blow him after that little announcement he made.” Loren waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“In your dreams, and believe me, I’ll be showing my—appreciation tonight.”

Loren’s face grew wistful, and he sighed before saying, “He’s a lucky guy. I personally love how you—appreciate things.” Kai felt himself blushing for some reason, and Loren clapped him on the shoulder before giving him another wicked grin and disappearing downstairs too.

Kai stood there for a minute longer, breathing deeply.
I’m the lucky one,
he thought, finally making his way slowly out of the room and down the stairs. Jeremy was passionate and attentive, as well as intelligent and kind and now had proven without a doubt he was also compassionate… and forgiving.

There was a large group assembled in the foyer where a tall, broad man was shaking hands all around, introducing himself as Douglas Clark, “but you can call me DC.” Jeremy was leaning against the mahogany counter, his arms and ankles crossed, a faint smile on his face as he watched the goings-on.

I love you,
Kai thought achingly, and Jeremy’s head swiveled toward him. For one scary moment Kai was afraid he’d spoken aloud, but Jeremy just winked at him before turning his attention back to DC.

“Okay, little dudes,” DC boomed. “Me and my guys are gonna whip this place into shape, and Mr. Speer tells me y’all are good guys and good helpers. Just so you know, I don’t take no crap off of punks, and as long as you listen and learn, we’ll get along fine. Aiight?”

The boys nodded, wide-eyed, and DC introduced his own crew, a motley group of sunburned, weathered men who nodded in return and murmured greetings.

“If everybody’s all set, let’s get to work! I wanna start in this little dining room area here. I’m gonna show you the best way to take old ugly wallpaper off, and then we’re gonna prime the walls and paint. Prob’ly won’t get it all done today, but from what I understand, y’all owe Mr. Speer a huge chunk of your life, so we’re gonna take it slow and learn how to do it right. Let’s go!”

DC and his crew shepherded the boys into an adjoining room, and soon Kai could hear his deep voice giving instruction. Despite his hard-ass words of a few minutes ago about “punks,” Kai could tell immediately he would be easygoing and patient with mistakes.

He and Loren headed into the room to supervise and keep an eye on things, and Jeremy took Kai’s arm as he passed.

“I’m going to run errands for a couple of hours, but I’ll see you around four? Come out to my place?”

Kai nodded, and Jeremy reached into his pocket, pulling something out and then pressing it into Kai’s hand. Kai opened his palm and looked down at a metal key. A door key.

“Actually come over anytime you want, okay? Anytime.”

Kai could only nod again, his mind almost unable to process this monumental step forward in their relationship.

Jeremy wasn’t done. “I cleared out a drawer for you in my dresser, so go ahead and bring whatever you think you’ll need for the weekends and just leave it there. I don’t want you to always have to run by your house to pack a bag if you don’t need to?” Kai was still speechless, and Jeremy winked at him before squeezing his arm lightly, saying, “Text me when you’re ready to head over, and be careful driving out, okay? It might snow tonight.”

Then he was gone. Jeremy did that often, admonished Kai to be careful driving and insisted Kai text or call him the minute he arrived at his myriad destinations, but whenever any of it started to annoy him, Kai forced himself to remember the man’s husband died in a car accident. It was evidence Jeremy cared about him, Kai told himself, and even though he sometimes gritted his teeth at having to check in like an unruly teenager, Kai was willing to humor him.