Single Wide Female: The Bucket List Mega Bundle - 24 Books (Books #1-24) (79 page)

“What is it, Samantha?” She picked up her purse from an overstuffed chair. “I was just headed out.”

“I’m sorry to bother you, but it just didn’t feel right to mail this.” I held out the envelope.

Patricia looked at the envelope and then up at me. “What’s this?”

“Patricia, I think it’s time that I moved on.” Saying those words had to be one of the most difficult things I’d ever done. But once they were said, a flood of relief washed over me, as if I’d just let go of something very heavy.

“Huh?” Patricia stared at me with genuine confusion, then she shook her head. “You mean, you’re quitting?”

“Yes.” I braced myself for the tears or for her to beg me to stay.

“Well, it’s about time.” She smiled at me.

She smiled
. I was shocked.

“What do you mean?”

“You know I love you, Samantha, but there is more to your life than folding laundry. You have so much potential. I’m glad to hear that you finally see that.”

I felt awkward. Sure, her words were kind, but they were also unexpected. I had no idea that she had thought of me that way for so long.

“Well, I can give you two weeks, of course, so that you can find someone.”

“Don’t worry, one week will be enough.” She waved her hand. “Now I really do have to go. Can we talk about this later?”

“Sure.” I nodded. I followed her out the door.

On the porch she paused and turned to look at me. She patted my cheek with the warm palm of her hand.

“I’m proud of you, Samantha. It’s time for you to see what life has in store for you.”

I smiled, but as I walked away from Patricia’s house, I felt a sense of emptiness. Had all my years of dedication to Fluff and Stuff really been nothing more than wasted time? It was hard for me to think of it that way.

Chapter 2

As I drove back toward my apartment, I continued to sink lower and lower. On a day that was supposed to be about liberation I felt as if I’d just had all of the air let out of me. At the last minute I decided to drive in a different direction.

I needed some support to get through the day. Instead of making the turn toward my apartment, I headed toward Max’s house.

It wasn’t very often that I went to his place. Even though he had a key to my apartment and was welcome to come and go as he pleased, it felt different for me to go to his place. There was always some concern that I might be walking in on something I didn’t want to see. It wasn’t an unfounded concern, considering that Max was a bit of a ladies’ man and very rarely spent a weekend night alone.

At least, that’s what I imagined. He was kind enough not to go into too much detail about his love life.

When I knocked on the door I heard a rummaging sound. Right away I wondered if I’d really interrupted something. A moment later the door swung open. He wore his running gear, and the sweat on his brow made me think he had just come in from a run.

“Sammy!” His eyes widened with surprise. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I know. I should have called. I’m sorry.”

“No, absolutely not. You don’t have to call. Ever.” He grabbed me by the hand and tugged me inside.

Max kept a neat house but it was also very plain. He didn’t have much color in his decor and even less in personal touches. “What’s going on?” He grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge.

“I just did something I never thought I would do. I just needed to get my head on straight.” I met his eyes and took the bottle of water.

“What did you do?” He raised an eyebrow. “Not skydiving, I hope.”

Max had witnessed the majority of my adventures since I’d started my bucket list. “No, not that. I quit my job.”

Max spit out the sip of water he had just taken. I ducked out of the way just in time to avoid the spray.

“Oh, God, I’m sorry.” He handed me a napkin.

“It’s okay, you missed me.” I was a little amused that such embarrassing things happened to other people and not just me.

“I thought you said you quit your job.” He shook his head. “I must have heard you wrong.”

“No. You didn’t hear me wrong. That’s what I did. I just gave my two weeks’ notice. Actually, Patricia cut it down to a week.” I frowned. “I guess it’s not going to be that difficult to replace me.”

Max’s lips curved into a soft frown. “That’s not true, Sammy. You know that.” He reached out and took my hand again but this time he held it. His warmth surrounding my hand felt both comforting and electrifying.

“Do I?” I pursed my lips to hold back the chaos that was swirling inside of me. “I mean, how hard is it to replace the manager of a laundromat? That’s all I’ve been.”

“Sammy!” Max tightened his grasp on my hand. “You’ve been much more than that. For one, you’re a great friend and mentor to all the employees you’ve worked with. Not to mention that everyone in the neighborhood knows you and can rely on you when they have a problem.”

“Sure—if you got your favorite shirt messy at wing night, go see Sammy.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s not exactly world-changing stuff.”

Max looked into my eyes. “It can be for one person at a time. You’re always so kind and ready to help. That makes a bigger difference than you realize.”

“I guess.” I looked down at my feet. “I know it’s the right thing to do, but I’m going to miss it.”

“Of course. You just have to get excited about the new job.” He paused a moment. “What is the new job?”

“I don’t really have one.”

“Huh?” Max narrowed his eyes.

“I mean, it’s going to be writing. That’s how I’m going to make my income from now on.” He was silent as he stared at me. I tried to figure out what he was thinking but it was impossible to read his expression.

“I think it’s the right thing to do.” I shook my head. “I guess you don’t agree.”

“It’s not like I don’t think you’re an amazing writer, because I do. I guess this was just so unexpected. Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“I didn’t want to lose my nerve.” I rolled my eyes and sighed. “I know it sounds silly, but I needed to be able to do it because I wanted to do it, not because of anyone else’s advice. Do you think it was a mistake?”

Max smiled and I noticed his facial muscles relaxing. “Not at all.” He brushed his fingertips across the back of my hand. “If this is your true passion, then it is what you should be doing. It’s been a long time coming, and I’m happy that you’re ready to start changing things.”

“I have been in a bit of a holding pattern.” I smiled a little. “I guess I just expected the entire world to stop spinning or something. I mean, this is probably one of the biggest changes I’ve made in my life since college.”

“I’m sure it is. But you deserve to be happy, Sammy. If this is what is going to give you that satisfaction then I fully support you. Besides, now I’ll be able to drop in on you any time.” He grinned.

“You already did that at Fluff and Stuff. I intend to hole myself up in my apartment and write, write, write.”

“Oh no, none of that.” He shook his head.

“Why not?”

“I’d miss you.” His lips pushed out in a playful pout. “Besides, the world needs you. If you’re not going to be spreading your good will at Fluff and Stuff, then you have to be out in the world in other ways.”

“I’ll have to come out once in a while to buy groceries.” I grinned.

“I’m going to hold you to that.” He hugged me.

Chapter 3

With Max’s arms tight around me, I thought I could melt right into the floor. I rested my head on his shoulder and hoped that he would not let go. When he finally did pull away I realized I had let the hug get long and awkward.

“Thanks for your support.” I looked away from him as my shyness reared its ugly head.

“Sammy, you always have my support. Always.” He waited until I looked up at him and then smiled. “I can’t wait to read what you’re writing.”

My heart skipped a beat at that idea. I wasn’t sure that I was going to live up to his expectations.

“Oh, you probably wouldn’t find it very interesting.”

“I am interested in anything you do.” He ruffled my hair.

“Stop that!” I swatted at his hand.

“Seriously, I’m happy for you.” He tilted his head toward his bedroom. “But I need to take a shower.”

My throat went dry at the thought of Max standing in the shower with droplets of water striking his delicious skin.

“Sammy? Are you okay?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yes, uh, huh, I’m fine.” I nearly walked into the wall as I turned toward the door.

“Are you sure?” He laughed and placed his hand on my back to help guide me away from further injury. “That looks like it could use some ice.”

“No, I’m fine. Enjoy our shower.” I gulped the moment I heard my own words. “I mean, your shower.”

“Okay.” He waved to me as I hurried out the door. Luckily Max was so used to my strange behavior that I was sure he wouldn’t think twice about my antics. Still, that slip of the tongue was a little too close to the truth.

I did feel a lot better as I drove back to my apartment. I wasn’t sure if there was ever going to be a time that I didn’t get distracted by my crush on Max, but his support meant so much to me, regardless of whether he would ever return my romantic interest.

When I got back to my apartment I dropped my purse by the door. I made my way to the computer. My mind was occupied by the hope that Blue might have sent me a message. I knew that it was a little much to expect, as it had only been about an hour since I posted the new entry. But I still couldn’t wait to see if he had written.

Right away I noticed that there was an e-mail from him. I opened it up, full of anticipation. The words that filled the screen brought tears to my eyes.

SWF,

I can see that your journey over the past few months has led you to a new chapter in your life. I think it’s amazing that you are willing to be so brave, to step out from your comfort zone. I hope that you realize the future you will have. There are no limits. Just hold your head high and keep on going. This might sound funny to say, but I’m proud of you, and I can’t wait to see where this new path in your life leads.

Blue

It meant so much to me that Blue was as happy about my choice as I’d thought I would be. With both Max and Blue offering their support, the meeting with Patricia began to fade away. I was making the right choice. It was just going to take a little time for me to get used to it.

When I showed up at Fluff and Stuff for my shift later that day, my chest tightened at the thought of my routine’s changing. It wasn’t grief that I was feeling as much as it was anxiety.

What if I couldn’t write a word? What if I ended up hanging out in my room eating snacks and regaining all of the weight that I’d lost?

As customers came and went I felt the push and pull of my choice. I was sure that Patricia would accept it if I told her that I’d made a mistake. But was it? I stared at a load of clothes that was spinning around in one of the dryers. That was how my heart felt as I muddled through my thoughts. I wanted more. I wanted to devote my life to my writing, but I also didn’t want to end up with nothing. I had no husband and no prospects—which meant I might not have any children—which meant I could end up locked away in some old folk’s home without a penny to my name.

“No I don’t want to watch ‘Wheel of Fortune’!”

My random outburst drew the attention of Anisa, who was folding clothes. Anisa was fairly new but she had the skills to be able to take over my position.

“Okay.” Anisa stared at me. “You don’t have to, I guess.”

I blushed and looked away from her. Anisa was petite in a way that put supermodels to shame. She had long thick dark hair and bright almond eyes. She was, in my opinion, drop dead gorgeous. She was also well aware of it.

“I’m sorry. I was just thinking.”

“About ‘Wheel of Fortune’?” She laughed. “You need to get out more, Samantha.”

“I know, I know.” I sighed. “But no. That’s not really what I was thinking about.”

“Then what?” Anisa folded the last pair of jeans in her pile.

“I’ve turned in my notice.”

“Notice of what?”

“That I’ll be quitting.”

“Huh?” Anisa’s eyes widened. “Why? Is something wrong?”

“No. I just want to try my hand at being a writer.” I cringed as I looked at her. “Do you think that’s crazy?”

“No, not crazy at all. I mean, there’s a lot of people out there that want to be writers. That doesn’t mean that you won’t do well.” She shrugged. “If that’s what your heart wants you to do, then do it.”

“But what about bills and the future and retirement?” I shook my head.

“Listen, Samantha, all of that is in the future. Sure, it’s a risk to try to make a living as a writer, but if it’s what you want you should go for it. Life is short and not to be wasted on fear. I always tell myself, Anisa, if that’s what you want, you go and get it. If I don’t, I only have myself to blame.”

“Don’t you ever worry?” I frowned. “I feel like I spend ninety percent of my time worrying.”

“That’s a problem, girl. You’ll die from it.” Anisa clucked her tongue.

“What?” I laughed. “I don’t think it’s going to kill me.”

“Oh, yes it will. The number one killer in America is stress.”

Chapter 4

Anisa nodded with all of the confidence of an expert. “Most of the diseases and health problems that people have are related to stress. And think about it, when it comes to diet, what do you do when you’re really stressed or worried?”

I clenched my teeth for a moment. I didn’t know if I felt comfortable admitting the truth to Anisa, who was so tiny. I was sure she would find my stress behavior repulsive.

“Well, I’ve gotten a lot better about it, but yes, I still have the urge to consume comfort food when I’m stressed.” I cleared my throat.

“Comfort food?” Anisa raised an eyebrow. “Samantha, I’m talking about grease-loaded, sugar-coated, salt-drenched, cheese-saturated sweet relief!” She shook her head. “I used to scarf down a pizza like it was an appetizer, all because I was so worried about life.”

“You?” I laughed a little. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Do you?” Anisa shook her head. “You know, I guess I can be straight with you since you’re quitting. I get a little weary of bigger women looking at me like it’s so easy to be this size. If I gain ten pounds I look huge. There’s no extra room on this body. To maintain this weight I have to watch every little thing I eat. I have to exercise all of the time, and even then when I look in the mirror there’s always something that doesn’t look right. At least if you go out and eat a carton of ice cream, no one’s going to notice.”