Skulduggery Pleasant: Kingdom of the Wicked (47 page)

“We’ve faced Vengeous and Vile before,” said Skulduggery. “We’ll do OK. As for Mevolent, we’re going to hope that he’s sleeping. It’s not a perfect plan, but it’ll do.”

Valkyrie nodded. “It’s really not a perfect plan.”

“But you can’t use the Sceptre,” China said. “While Mevolent lives, it will only work in his hands.”

“Not once we bring it home with us. We can use it to save our world and, more importantly for you, Mevolent won’t have his most powerful weapon any more.”

China observed them for a long, drawn-out moment. Then she picked up her scalpel case. “I will arrange for a guide to escort you beyond the wall,” she said. “I assume time is of the essence?”

“When is it not?”

“Indeed,” she said. “Indeed. You’ll need this.” She held up the black disc that had been attached to the arm of the man she’d been working on. Skulduggery gestured, and it floated into his hand. “If you’re captured,” she continued, “I would appreciate it if you would kindly die before they interrogate you. This town is very important to the Resistance. We can’t afford to lose it.”

“We’ll do our best to go down fighting.”

“That’s all I ask. Wait here, and I’ll send someone to take you to your guide. Valkyrie, it was lovely seeing you again. Skulduggery...” She didn’t bother finishing the sentence, she just bowed to them both, and glided out of the door.

Valkyrie looked at the black disc. “What’s that?”

“It’s a pain regulator,” he said, fiddling around with the back of it. “It’s used to either subdue pain, or inflict it.” He slid a piece of the underside into his hand. It was a small, flat piece of slate with a symbol printed on it in white. He pocketed both.

A girl in her twenties came to take them to a nearby building. Her name was Harmony. She was pale and pretty, and had a scar that curled from the corner of her eye to the corner of her mouth. She held a torch as she led them down old stone steps.

“Our guide lives down here?” Valkyrie asked, a little dubious.

“His movements here are restricted,” Harmony told her. “He’s not what you might call trustworthy.”

Skulduggery said, “And yet you trust him to lead us into the Palace?”

“Oh, yes,” said Harmony. “Absolutely. It’s what he does
after
he’s led you in where things could get tricky. But you should be fine. Years ago, Mevolent issued an order that he be killed on sight, so I don’t think he’d try to betray you like he betrayed them.”

“He betrayed them?” said Valkyrie. Then, “Wait, he was on their side?”

“One of Mevolent’s top men, so he was. One of his Three Generals.” Harmony slammed her fist against the door and pushed it open without waiting for a reply. Inside, Nefarian Serpine lay on a bunk, naked but for a towel covering his privates. He scratched his beard as he looked up at them with glittering emerald eyes.

“Yeah?” he said. “What the hell do you want?”

hose eyes of his, those bright green eyes, latched on to Skulduggery and an eyebrow slowly rose. “There you are,” he said. “After all these years... What, did you get lost on your way to kill me or something?”

Serpine sat up. His black hair was long and his beard was straggly. He wore a clunky metal glove on his right hand, and his ribs showed. “Are you at least going to give me a fighting chance?” he asked, easing himself off the bed. “This fancy glove they make me wear binds my magic, so it’ll have to be fisticuffs. You prepared for that, skeleton? Ready to finish this once and for all?”

“He isn’t here to kill you,” said Harmony. “We’re loaning you to him.”

“That doesn’t sound very sporting.”

“You know a secret way into the City,” Skulduggery said. “You’re going to take us in, as far as the Palace. Tonight. If you try anything sneaky, I’ll take great pleasure in killing you.”

Serpine smiled. “If I’m seen inside the City, there are many people who will take great pleasure in killing me. I think I’ll stay here, thank you very much.”

“This isn’t a request,” Harmony said. “Miss Sorrows has made her decision.”

“Well, she can unmake it,” Serpine replied, sneering slightly. “I’m not setting foot inside that wall, and if you had any sense, skeleton, you wouldn’t, either.”

Skulduggery looked at Harmony. “Could you excuse me for a moment? We’d like to talk with Nefarian alone.”

Harmony shrugged. “I’ll be outside,” she said, and closed the door behind her.

Skulduggery and Valkyrie looked at him, standing there.

“What do you think?” Skulduggery asked.

“He’s not very impressive,” Valkyrie said. “I don’t like the beard. And the towel doesn’t exactly cover a whole lot.”

“He’s fallen on hard times,” Skulduggery said. “He needs goals in his life. He needs a future to look forward to. Nefarian, we are here to offer you both of these things.” He took the pain regulator from his pocket. The air shifted and the disc shot from Skulduggery’s hand into Serpine’s belly. He grunted, frowned, tried to peel it away from his skin.

“Don’t bother,” Skulduggery said. “Only we can remove it, and we have no plans to do that until we get what we want.” He held the black slate in one hand. His thumb tapped it lightly and Serpine’s eyes bulged and he fell to his knees. His body shook. His muscles stood out, straining, like they wanted to burst free from his body. Valkyrie could tell that he wanted to scream but couldn’t.

Skulduggery deactivated the disc, and Serpine fell forward, gasping.

“The goal in your life that we are offering you,” Skulduggery said, “is the chance to rid yourself of that little device. The future you can look forward to is a future where you don’t have to suffer white-hot agony whenever we get bored. Two rather healthy aspirations, are they not?”

Serpine snapped his head up, glared at them. “I go free,” he said. “After I lead you in, after you take this thing off me, I go free.”

“You aren’t free now?”

“They say I am, but everywhere I go I have an armed escort. I’ve proved myself to Sorrows, I supplied her with names and locations and some of Mevolent’s best-kept secrets, and what do I get in return? A small bed in a cold room and my powers bound. If you get her to agree to set me free, I’ll take you.”

“She’ll never agree to that,” Skulduggery said. “She’s not going to just loan you to us and then let you run off. What does she gain from that deal?”

“Then we don’t tell her. We agree, the three of us, here and now, that you let me go when we’re done. I’ll take my chances on my own.”

“If we’re going to set you free, we need more than just a guide into the City. You have to take us into the Palace itself, to the Sceptre.”

“You’re insane.”

“That’s the deal.”

Serpine hesitated. “Very well. I take you to the Sceptre, you take this disc off me and unlock this glove and let me go.”

“Agreed. How long will it take to get into the City?”

“What time is it now?”

“Around three.”

“Afternoon or morning, skeleton? You lose track when you don’t have windows.”

“Afternoon.”

Serpine nodded. “The best time to sneak in will be at the end of the working day. We need to be outside the wall at six. Before then I’ll need clothes. My own clothes. And tell them to send a barber. If I go in looking like this, we’ll be arrested on the spot. I assume you have some sort of disguise, skeleton? I’d wear it if I were you. The people of the City are cultured and elegant, not like the grim and shabby specimens who trudge around this place. You, girl,” he said to Valkyrie, and threw her the towel from around his waist. “Run me a bath.”

Using her thumb and forefinger, Valkyrie pulled the towel from her head and dropped it on the floor. “Gross,” she whimpered.

They spoke to Harmony and she arranged the barber and the bath, then they found his clothes. Valkyrie was outside with Skulduggery, sitting on the horse they’d given her, when a Cleaver escorted Serpine out into the sunlight.

The beard was gone and the hair was short. His clothes were old and worn, but still elegant. He blinked against the light, shielding his eyes with the iron glove. She saw for the first time how pale he was.

He saw them and smiled as he came over.

“There,” he said. “So much better. If one is rushing into certain death, one had better look one’s best, don’t you think? I almost feel like my old self again.” He looked at Skulduggery. “You know, the old self who killed your family.”

“Oh, yes,” Skulduggery said, “him.”

Serpine swung his leg up on to his horse, and looked down at Harmony. “Do try not to miss me too much while I’m gone,” he said. “If you find yourself inconsolable, feel free to lie down in your favourite spot on my bunk.”

Harmony’s face got suddenly warmer, Serpine laughed, and turned to Skulduggery. “Shall we go?”

They left the village at a canter. Valkyrie hadn’t ridden a horse in years and it took her a while to ease into the rhythm. She soon found herself enjoying it. And soon after that, she began to ache.

They saw the wall in the distance before they saw Dublin, but soon they were making their way through the narrow streets of the mortals, who hurried from their path even though they had slowed the pace to a brisk walk. They had journeyed mostly in silence, but the closer they got to their destination, the chattier Serpine became.

“It seems the years have mellowed you, skeleton,” he said. “Where is that old anger I used to know? Where is all that fury? All that hatred? Have you changed? Have you become, for want of a better word, a different man?”

“A lot of things have happened since you saw me last,” Skulduggery said. “I’ve already had my revenge, for a start.”

“Oh? How so?”

“The how, where and when don’t concern you, Nefarian.”

“Very well.” Serpine smiled. “But was it everything you had hoped it would be?”

“Oh, it was,” said Skulduggery. “Except that it was over far too quickly.”

“Well, I’m right here if you feel there is blood left unspilled.”

Skulduggery didn’t respond right away, and Valkyrie started to get worried. But then his head tilted in that way of his. “A tempting offer, and much appreciated. It is a rare occasion indeed when I am invited to inflict vast amounts of damage upon a person. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear you wanted me to kill you here and now instead of risk Mevolent getting his hands on you.”

Serpine laughed. “Actually, I’d rather skip my untimely demise
completely
if it’s all the same to you.”

“Naturally. But if you were going to die on this little mission of ours, and it looks like that’s a distinct possibility, then I’m sure you’d prefer a quick neck-break to a prolonged torture session – which is undoubtedly what Mevolent has in mind for you.”

“Oh, you don’t know Mevolent like I know him. He’s a forgiving fellow, all things considered. If I were captured, I’m sure he’d be quite understanding.”

“In that case, if we are outnumbered, we’ll happily leave you behind, yes?”

Serpine smiled, but the smile was tight. “Please do,” he said. “I haven’t seen my old friends in years. We have so much to catch up on.”

hastly stood in front of the mirror wearing his Elder’s robes. He hated them. He hated them so much he wanted to cut them up, fashion them into something new, something worthwhile or, at the very least, something extravagantly stylish. He took them off, threw them over his desk, and rubbed his eyes. Grand Mage Strom was in a detention cell, Skulduggery and Valkyrie were off having a transdimensional adventure, Kitana and her friends were still causing havoc, and an entire section of the Sanctuary was sealed off thanks to Lament and his sorcerers.