Skulduggery Pleasant: Kingdom of the Wicked (49 page)

“Where does he live?”

The man took a moment, then smiled again. “Found it. He lives at number eighteen Mount Temple Place. That’s all the way on the other side of the City. I don’t think you’d be able to walk there.” He chuckled. “Do you want to get a taxi?”

Valkyrie nodded, started walking away. “That sounds like a good idea.”

“Do you have any money?”

She stopped.
Dammit
.

She turned and he gave her a few coins. “There. That should get you to your Uncle Walden and you’ll have enough left over for an ice cream. Do you like ice cream?”

Valkyrie muttered under her breath.

He beamed, and waved down a passing carriage. The driver diverted from the airstream, and set down beside them. “Eighteen Mount Temple Place,” the man instructed as she got in. “You say hi to your uncle for me, won’t you? And thank him for doing such a wonderful job with the sewage!”

“I will,” Valkyrie murmured, and sat back as the carriage lifted off the ground and rejoined the stream. It flew round the corner, where she leaned forward and tapped the driver. “Pull over for a second, would you?”

He did as she told him, and a moment later, the door opened and Skulduggery and Serpine climbed in. When they were moving again, she looked at Serpine. “Why couldn’t you use the Well to find out where he is?”

“I’d be detected immediately,” he said. “Things like the World Well, everyone thinks it’s about sharing information, but it’s just another tool for Mevolent to keep track of you.”

“The Well?” asked Skulduggery.

“Magical Internet,” said Valkyrie.

“Ah.”

They got to 18 Mount Temple Place. It was a two-storey house on a rising hill, its architecture identical to the buildings around it. They did a quick sweep of the area.

“D’Essai’s security system is a good deal more elaborate than any of his neighbours’,” Skulduggery said. “We’d need a few hours to break in, but if he’s on his way home with everyone else, we probably only have minutes.”

“It will deactivate when he enters,” said Serpine. “If one of us distracts him immediately upon opening this door, the other two can use the opportunity to sneak in through the back. Seeing as how I have a recognisable face, it can’t be me.”

“I’ll do it,” Valkyrie said.

They went round the back and Valkyrie hung around on the street, doing her best to look inconspicuous. No one gave her a second look. She saw Walden D’Essai coming up the hill, and gave the signal to get ready by running a hand through her hair. Walden passed her, opened his front door and Valkyrie said, “Mr D’Essai?”

He turned. “Yes, hello. Can I help you?”

“I hope so,” she said, and smiled. “My name is Valkyrie Cain. Could I speak with you for a moment?”

“Regarding?”

“Your work.”

He smiled. “And why would a young lady like yourself be interested in Sewage Maintenance?”

“Honestly? The glamour.”

The smile turned to a laugh. “Do you mind telling me what you really want to talk about?”

“It’s of... a personal nature.”

He looked at her, and took a moment. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I can help you.”

“You’re the only one who can.”

“Then you have me mixed up with someone else. I’m sorry.”

He stepped inside and closed the door. Valkyrie stayed where she was. A few seconds later, the door opened, and Serpine beckoned her inside.

It was a tastefully decorated interior, and would probably have been neat and tidy were it not filled with books and notepads. Walden sat stiffly in what looked like his favourite armchair. He looked around, scared. “Take what you want. It’s not worth much but I won’t call the authorities, you have my word.”

“We’re not here to rob you,” Skulduggery said, and the face he was wearing smiled gently.

Valkyrie picked up a few of the books, flicked through them. “Heavy reading for a Sewage Maintenance Engineer,” she said. “
Realms of Magic. The Existence Equation. Philosophy and Sorcery. Between Gods and Man: The Next Stages of Human Evolution
.”

“It looks like you have an interesting hobby,” said Skulduggery. “So how does someone who clearly wants to explore magic, and where magic comes from, find himself working in the sewers?”

“It’s nothing,” Walden said. “Just a few books. It means nothing. Please. If you don’t want to rob me, why are you here? What do you want with me?”

“I’ve been asking them the same question,” Serpine said.

“Walden,” said Skulduggery, sitting on the couch opposite him, “we’re not from here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’re not from this world.”

“I don’t... I don’t understand...”

Serpine shrugged. “It’s true. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. They’re not from here.”

Walden blinked at Skulduggery. “Then... then you’re... you’re
aliens
?”

Before Skulduggery could reply, words spilled from Walden’s mouth. “Oh, I knew it! I knew it! I knew we couldn’t be alone in the universe! When I was a kid, they laughed at me but I knew there was something more to life, more than this world and this level of magic and the day-to-day grind of living, and here you are, sitting across from me, a real-live alien being! Do you have a flying saucer? Could you take me up in it?”

Skulduggery didn’t answer right away. “Uh...” he said.

Valkyrie stepped forward. “We’re not aliens. We’re from a parallel dimension.”

Walden’s face fell. “Oh.”

“But look,” Skulduggery said. He tapped his collarbones and his face flowed away. “I’m a skeleton.”

Walden nodded, unimpressed. “Right. So why are you here, then? I have a lot of work to do.”

“We need your help.”

“Why?”

“We can’t tell you.”

“Well, that’s just wonderful.”

“Will you help us?”

“If I help you, will you leave?”

“Yes.”

“Then I would really like to help you. But I won’t if it’s going to get me into trouble.”

“There’ll be no trouble.”

“But you answer me a question first. Who is that?”

Serpine arched an eyebrow. “Me?”

Walden nodded. “I know you from somewhere. I know your face. But I’m not good with faces. Who are you?”

“They’ve called me a great many things over the years, but my name is Nefarian Serpine.”

Walden’s face went slack. “The traitor.”

“Yep, that’s one of the things they called me.”

Walden stood up so quickly he knocked his chair over. His voice rose in volume. “I can’t talk to you. I can’t talk to
him
. I can’t associate with him. Do you know what would happen to me if the Sense-Wardens found this moment in my mind? I’d be arrested. I’d be tortured!”

“That’s not going to happen,” Skulduggery said calmly.

“You don’t know that!” Walden said, panicking. “I’m doomed. I’m dead. They’re going to arrest me!”

“Walden,” Skulduggery said, “sit down. Take a deep breath.”

“I can’t! I can’t breathe!”

“There’s no need to panic. The sooner you help us, the sooner we’ll be out of here.”

“Go!” he shouted. “Leave! Leave before I call the City Mages!”

“First we need to talk.”

Walden covered his face with his hands. “Please,” he said. “Please leave me alone.”

“In a minute. Walden, we have an emergency back in our dimension, and you’re the only one who can help us.”

“Why me?”

“I’ll be honest with you – it would probably be best if you didn’t know. We’re trying to minimise the effect this will have on you.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Just remember. We need you to remember a moment in your life. It’s not a happy memory, Walden. It was the day your mother was killed.”

“What? What has that got to do with anything?”

“It would take too long to explain. The man who killed her, he said something to you, didn’t he? After he’d done it?”

Walden stared. “How did you know?”

“You need to tell us what he said.”

“But I don’t understand what—”

There was a loud knocking on the door. “Walden D’Essai,” came the voice. “Open up immediately. Open up in the name of Mevolent.”

Walden went pale. “Oh, no,” he whispered.

alkyrie pressed her back to the wall. She took slow, quiet breaths. Shadows coiled round her right hand. Serpine was on the other side of the room, crouching behind a chair. She peered out, watched Walden walk to the door. Skulduggery went with him, gun in hand. He nodded, and stood behind the door as Walden opened it. Two Redhoods stood on the step behind a City Mage.

“Hello,” Walden said. “Is something wrong?”

“Reports of a disturbance,” the City Mage said. “Shouts, and whatnot.”

“Coming from here? Really? I... I’m sorry, Mage, I don’t know what to say. I haven’t heard anything.”

“A man shouting,” the City Mage said. He looked bored. “Were you shouting, sir?”

“Shouting?”

“Shouting. Did you raise your voice, sir? Did you cry out in alarm? Were you shouting?”

“Shouting,” Walden said, considering the word. “No, I’m sorry. It wasn’t me. It might have been the wind.”

“You’re saying the wind was shouting, sir? Why would the wind shout? What would it have to shout about?”

“I’m not really sure...”

“Me neither, sir, but it was your suggestion. Up until you suggested it, the thought had never entered my mind that it might have been the wind that was shouting instead of a person. Instead of a person like you, sir.”

“Well, I just meant the wind may have sounded like it was shouting.”

“Oh, I see, sir. Well, that is infinitely more plausible, I’ll admit. Do you have anyone in the house with you? Maybe someone who can corroborate what you’re saying?”

“No, I’m sorry. I live alone.”

“So do I, sir, but you don’t hear me shouting about it, now do you?”

“No, City Mage.”

The conversation lulled. Behind the door, Skulduggery adjusted his position slightly.

“Sir,” the City Mage said, “I could call in the Sense-Wardens and I could get them to rummage around in your brain to find out if you were shouting or if it was, as you say, the wind. Do you think I should do that?”

“It... It’s up to you, City Mage.”

“That’s right. It is indeed up to me, thank you very much. I could call them in, go through official channels, follow the rulebook to the letter... or I could let this one slide. If you were to give me your word, say, that there wouldn’t be any more shouting coming from this particular area, I could continue on with my patrol, and trust that you, or the wind, won’t be disturbing your neighbours any further. You have quiet neighbours. They notice things like loud noises.”

“I... I’ll not be shouting, City Mage. You have my word on that.”

“And the wind?”

“I don’t think it’ll be shouting, either.”

The City Mage examined him for a long time. “Have a good evening, sir,” he said, and moved down off the step.

“Thank you,” Walden said as he was closing the door. “Thank you very much.”

Skulduggery accompanied him back to the living room. He put away his gun as Serpine stood.

“Why didn’t you turn us in?” Valkyrie asked.

Walden looked at her. He was pale, but his gaze was strong. “What do you mean? Why would I turn you in? Quickly now, we don’t have much time. What do you need?”

“I told you what we need,” Skulduggery said.

“That’s it? You just want to know what the man said when he killed my mother? He said he was sorry, and then he ran off.”

“That’s all?”

“Yes. He said,
I’m sorry
, and then off he went.”

“You don’t seem particularly traumatised by the words.”

“People say
I’m sorry
every day. The words had no effect on me. Him killing my mother, on the other hand...”

“Maybe it’s different,” Skulduggery said. “Maybe the killer in our reality said something else.”

“Listen, I don’t understand any of this, but I was assured that no one from the Resistance would ever contact me. You could get me killed.”

“You work with the Resistance?” Valkyrie asked. “Doing what?”

“I don’t understand. Did China Sorrows send you or didn’t she?”

“She helped us get into the City,” Skulduggery said, “but she didn’t know we were coming to see you. What do you do for them?”