Skulduggery Pleasant: Kingdom of the Wicked (46 page)

“We don’t want any trouble,” he said.

“That’s not why we’re here,” she told him. “The village up the road there – do you know what happened?”

The farmer looked at her, looked at Skulduggery behind her, and nodded.

“We’re not from the City,” she said. “We don’t work for Mevolent.”

“We don’t want any trouble,” the farmer repeated.

“Please, we need to get in touch with the Resistance.”

The farmer shook his head. “Don’t know anything about them. Please leave.”

“I understand that you’re scared...”

“Can’t help you.”

“Do you know anyone who could?”

“No. No one. Don’t know anything.”

“Sir, we don’t have a lot of time.”

“Please go.”

Skulduggery touched her elbow and she sighed. “OK. I’m sorry for disturbing you.” The farmer’s sons stepped out from behind their dad as Skulduggery and Valkyrie lifted into the air. She gave them a goodbye wave that they didn’t return.

“That was horrible,” she said as they flew. “Did you see how scared those kids were?”

“They can’t really be blamed,” Skulduggery responded. “They’ve just buried their mother.”

Valkyrie frowned. “How do you know?”

“There was a dress on the clothes line, but the father didn’t send the kids into the house so there’s no one in there to keep them safe. The cart had a blanket on it.”

Valkyrie closed her eyes. “She’d been in the village. They used the cart to bring her body home. Oh, God, and then we fly in, the exact kind of people they don’t want anything to do with...”

“This is some world you’ve found.”

“Where are we going now? Off to find another family to traumatise?”

“Actually, I’ve worked out where we are, and back in our reality, the nearest town is Ratoath. Hopefully, they have a corresponding town here.”

“So we’re going to traumatise a whole town now? Oh, goody. They’re going to love us.”

Ratoath turned out to be a fair-sized town, the buildings a little bigger and a little sturdier than the villages they’d passed over to get there. Some of the houses were even nice, with gardens in the back, and there was a market and a pleasing bustle to the people. They still wore the dull browns that identified them as lowly mortals, but their backs were straight and their heads were up. These people had a confidence that others lacked.

They landed unseen behind a tavern. Valkyrie frowned, looked up at the building. That’s exactly what it was. It was a tavern. It was the twenty-first century in this reality, the same as it was in her own, but it wasn’t a pub they had landed behind, or a bar. No, it was a tavern. What an odd, backwards world this was.

Skulduggery stopped at the corner, and nodded to the large building across the square. “If anyone knows anything, that’s where they’ll be,” he said.

She nudged him, pointed to the building to their right. It was a church, its roof sunken, badly in need of repair. It had those familiar two circles carved above the door, and looked like a place that nobody visited.

“Each settlement has to have one, more than likely,” Skulduggery said. “But while you can make a town build a church, you can’t make them worship.”

“What do the circles mean?” she asked.

“The big one represents the Faceless Ones. All-encompassing, all-knowing. The little one is us, floating around the edge, barely intersecting. It means we’re little more than fleas, unable to even begin to comprehend the full majesty of existence. It’s very patronising, as far as religious symbols go, and somewhat self-pitying.”

“This reality’s version of Eliza Scorn goes around in chains.”

“They used to do that in our dimension as well. There’d always be one fervent believer who took it upon themselves to suffer for our sins. It was meant to be altruistic and selfless, but I generally found those people to be nothing more than attention-seeking martyrs. Hmmm... that’s interesting.”

“What?”

“There seems to be a gentleman walking towards us with a shotgun.”

Valkyrie peeked out. Sure enough, there he was, a mortal in his sixties, walking with a shotgun levelled at belly height.

“Hello there,” said the mortal.

Skulduggery paused for a moment, then stepped into view, and Valkyrie did the same.

“Well now,” said the mortal, “a skeleton in a fancy suit. There’s something you don’t see every day.”

“Speak for yourself,” said Valkyrie.

The man smiled. “My name’s Healy. I’m what you might call the local constabulary for Ratoath.”

Skulduggery nodded to him. “How do you do, Mr Healy?”

“It talks,” Healy said with a smile. “Wonders will never cease, will they? I’m doing fine, sir, thank you for asking. I’m going to have to request that the pair of you raise your hands, though.”

“We’re not looking for trouble,” Skulduggery said as they complied.

“Only a madman would look for trouble in a town like Ratoath,” Healy responded. “We have strict rules, you see. As the duly appointed constable, I would not be the most popular person in these parts, seeing as how my duties include rounding up troublemakers for the Barge every few weeks. But arresting people like you would easily fill my quota.”

“People like us?”

“Sorcerers,” said Healy. “Resistance sorcerers.”

“How do you know we’re Resistance?” Valkyrie asked. “We could have come straight from Mevolent himself.”

Healy shook his head. “They don’t sneak in. When they arrive, they let you know about it so you can start shaking in your boots. No, you pair are Resistance, I can tell a mile off.”

Skulduggery tilted his head. “You don’t sound very nervous, Mr Healy. If we are Resistance sorcerers, then we’re very dangerous people.”

“The Resistance don’t hurt mortals. Everyone knows that.”

“You seem awfully sure that you’re not in any danger.”

“You pull a gun on a person, you’d be surprised how confident you get.”

Skulduggery flicked his left hand and the air tore Healy’s shotgun from his grip. At the same time, Skulduggery’s revolver flew from his jacket into his right hand, and he thumbed back the hammer. “You know what?” he said. “You’re absolutely right. I am positively brimming with confidence.”

Healy raised his hands slowly. “I didn’t shoot you,” he said, “and so I’d appreciate it if you returned the favour.”

The shotgun drifted into Valkyrie’s hands, and she broke it open and took out the cartridges. “What if you’re wrong?” she asked. “What if we are from Mevolent?”

Healy shrugged. “After what I just did? You’d probably burn this town to the ground.”

“And you’re still not nervous?”

“No, Miss. I am not.”

“Mind telling us why?”

Healy smiled, and his eyes moved slowly. Valkyrie and Skulduggery turned, and saw Anton Shudder standing there.

He didn’t even blink. He gazed at Skulduggery like they’d been around each other every day for the last 200 years.

“Please,” Skulduggery said, “don’t make a fuss.”

Predictably, Shudder didn’t even crack a smile. “Why are you back?” he asked.

“We need to talk to China.”

Shudder didn’t respond.

“We want to get into the City,” Skulduggery continued. “We thought she might know a way. Or maybe you do, and you could tell us, and we wouldn’t have to disturb her. I think that’d be best for everyone, actually.”

“I do nothing without Miss Sorrows’ permission.”

“What a fulfilling life you must lead.”

“My reflection,” Valkyrie said. “Is it here?”

Shudder turned his eyes to her. “Your reflection was taken along with thirteen of our people. Nine others were killed last night, and four more have died since then of their injuries.”

“Can we talk to her? China said it herself, she’s in my debt. If it wasn’t for me, you guys would never have got that Teleporter.”

“The Teleporter they tracked from the dungeon,” said Shudder. “The Teleporter who led them straight to us.”

“None of that is my fault.”

“Tell China we have a proposition for her,” said Skulduggery.

“I am her bodyguard,” said Shudder, “not her liaison. If you want to tell Miss Sorrows something, then do it yourself.” He walked past them, heading across the square to the large building.

“I think that was his way of saying follow me,” Healy told them, smiling.

Valkyrie handed him back his shotgun and joined Skulduggery. They followed Shudder through the door, and a section of the flooring opened up, revealing steps leading down. At the bottom of the steps Cleavers stood, clad in grey, with those visored helmets that used to creep Valkyrie out so much. Now they comforted her. She much preferred the grey-suited Cleavers to the crimson-suited Redhoods.

Shudder pushed open the door. A man was sitting in a chair. His chest was bare and he had a black disc the size of a drinks coaster attached to his forearm. China Sorrows was carving a sigil into his chest with a scalpel.

She stopped work for a moment and looked up, her startling blue eyes fixed on Skulduggery. “Who are you?”

Valkyrie frowned. “You don’t recognise him?”

China went back to work on the man in the chair, who didn’t seem to notice the pain. “One skeleton looks the same as another,” she said. Of course, I’ve only known one to actually
walk
...”

“Hello, China,” Skulduggery said.

It may have been the light, but Valkyrie could have sworn she saw China take a sharp breath. She straightened up.

“It is you,” she said. “Where were you? Where have you been? Everyone... everyone thought you were dead.”

Skulduggery took his hat off. “Do I look dead?”

“I refuse to answer ridiculous questions.”

“China Sorrows... such a past we share. It’s practically unfathomable, isn’t it? The influence we’ve had on each other’s lives? You helped make me the man I am today.”

China didn’t respond. Instead, she glanced at the man in the chair. “We’ll finish this later.” He nodded, removed the black disc from his arm and winced, then walked out.

“And I,” Skulduggery said as China began cleaning the scalpel, “I’m sure I’ve affected your growth as a person in equally memorable ways. The years we spent as enemies, hunting and fighting and warring... From a spoiled little disciple of the Faceless Ones to leader of the Diablerie and now look at you. The leader of the Resistance. You’ve changed.”

“I’d hope so. Where have you been all this time?”

“That doesn’t really matter.”

“It matters to me.” China placed the scalpel in a slim case, and closed the lid. “First we have Valkyrie Cain and her reflection appearing out of nowhere, and now we witness the return of the living skeleton after, what, one hundred and fifty years? And they’re friends, no less. So I have questions. Where have you been, what are you doing back, and who are you?”

“You know who I am,” said Skulduggery.

“I know who you
were
,” said China. “And I’ve asked a lot of people about
you
, Valkyrie, and no one seems to know who you are or where you came from, either. This is all very mysterious. I don’t like mysteries. They unsettle me.”

Valkyrie suddenly became aware of how vulnerable they were, with Shudder and a handful of Cleavers standing behind them.

“We’re not from here,” Skulduggery said.

China’s gaze flickered to him. “Explain.”

“A Dimensional Shunter sent us here,” Skulduggery said. “We don’t belong in this world.”

“And you expect me to believe that you’re from a parallel universe, then? Is that it? Tell me, does your universe have a China Sorrows?”

“It does.”

“And is she stupid?”

“She is not.”

“Then why would you think I would believe you?”

“We could prove it, if you’d like. Maybe tell you something, something the version of me from this reality probably never knew. For instance, that you delivered my wife and child to Serpine so that he could murder them in front of me. Something like that, perhaps.”

China was silent for a moment. “How long have you known?”

“This last year, but that’s in a whole other reality.”

“And your version of me... did you kill her quickly or did you make it last?”

“Neither. She still lives.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m a lot of things, but I’m no hypocrite.”

“I had a hand in killing your family, in killing you and turning you into what you are now... and you don’t want to kill me for it?”

“Of course I want to kill you,” said Skulduggery. “I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.”

“You are different from the Skulduggery I knew.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“What do you need? A way home?”

“That should take care of itself. No, we need to get into Mevolent’s Palace.”

“Why?”

“They’re holding my reflection,” said Valkyrie.

“Let them keep it,” China said. “It’s a reflection. No, there’s something else.”

“There is,” said Skulduggery, “and we need to retrieve it. It’s very valuable to us.”

“Tell me what it is, maybe I have one to spare.”

“I doubt it.”

“You’ll tell me eventually, because I won’t help you otherwise. You could lie to me, of course, but I’d know.”

“Our world is in danger,” said Skulduggery. “We need a weapon powerful enough to kill a god.”

China laughed. “You want the Sceptre? Impossible. Mevolent keeps it in his throne room where it is protected by an Arietti Sigil, and when he leaves the Palace, he has it with him at all times. You’d never get to it.”

“Loan us your captured Teleporter and we’ll surprise you.”

“If I could, I would,” said China. “Unfortunately, he escaped in the confusion when Lord Vile and the Redhoods attacked. He’s back with Mevolent now, along with a dozen of our best fighters. It was not a good day for us.”

“Then get us in some other way, or give us a map and let us try it ourselves. What have you got to lose?”

“A perfectly good map,” China said. “How do you intend to get your hands on the Sceptre, if you do manage to sneak in? Have you any idea how many Redhoods patrol those halls? And what about Vengeous, and Lord Vile? And Mevolent himself?”