Sliding (The Stone Series) (18 page)

The following day when we meet with Bernie and Drew I feel as if every
move we make is being judged as either right or wrong by them. Tate takes my
hand and I sit next to him on a loveseat. I actually like this office better
than Bernie’s. It’s a pale green color with light purple accents, very Asian
feeling. Clean lines on the furniture and bamboo materials are used throughout.
 

“So, where should we begin?” Drew asks and Tate looks at me for an answer.

I suggest that we begin with explaining our problems that we are having
at the time and Tate reluctantly agrees. I tell them about Tate’s drinking,
about the unplanned pregnancy and the miscarriage. I add the six month
separation and our recent reunion. I tell them about our plans for therapy and
maybe another pregnancy. Tate adds in information about our business and how
much music has always meant to us and our relationship. Drew and Bernie share
with us the information we each shared in our private sessions without
revealing any confidential information and we make a plan to see them each week
individually and then in one group session. We schedule our group session and
Bernie thanks us for coming, stands letting us know our time is up. I guess for
a first session it was fine but I don’t feel as if we’ve accomplished anything.

When we walk out of the office and enter the lobby we hear the song “I
Knew You Were Waiting” at the same time and we clasp hands and walk to the car
with smiles on our faces remembering my return from camp that first summer.

The morning after the movie
premiere I have my appointment with Drew. I notice his diploma on the wall, he
went to Duke and we joke around about being rivals. Drew seems like a cool guy,
someone I would be friends with if we met under different circumstances. He
asks what some of the issues are so we can make a plan of action to resolve as
many of them as possible. I mention my drinking and drug use that caused Brook
and me to end up living on different coasts for six months. I tell Drew about
the guilt I keep inside over my unresolved issues between myself and my
deceased father. I tell him that I am an only child and have never felt the
need for siblings but that I am very close with Brook’s family and so I feel
like I do have siblings sometimes. I tell him about my mother and her travels
since losing my father and that I miss her terribly. I don’t tell Drew that I
am embarrassed to face her so the space from her is actually what I need right
now. I tell Drew that Brook and I have decided to try to have children after I
tell him brief details about her previous miscarriage. He asks me about my
career and I tell him that I work in the music industry but I don’t get into
the specifics. We agree that we should meet once a week and that he’ll help me
work through my issues. We shake hands and plan to see each other the following
day with Brook and his partner, Bernie.
   

************

When I get off the plane and enter the area where everyone is waiting for
their person to arrive I look around and can’t see my parents through the crowd
anywhere. I don’t see Tate at first because I don’t recognize him. He has
shaved his head and gained ten pounds of pure muscle mass. It isn’t until I
hear “I Knew You Were Waiting” coming from a boom box that I know Tate must be
here somewhere. I look around frantic to set eyes on him and then there he is. He
is wearing a cut off shirt and sport shorts. His legs look like they have more
hair on them then I remember and his head obviously has way less hair on it.
His arms look much bigger and his chest is starting to protrude where his
pectoral muscles are developing. I run to him and he catches me in his arms and
lifts me up and spins me around while I run my hands over his new crew cut. I
can’t believe he has shaved off all of his black silky hair. I had no idea Tate
had done that or that he was coming to meet me at the airport with my parents;
it is the best surprise I have ever had.

“Brooklynn! You look so skinny, did you lose weight? Didn’t they feed you
at camp?” Tate asks but before I can answer he continues, “So are you surprised
to see me or more surprised that I shaved my head?” Tate inquires as I kiss his
cheek assuming my parents are watching from someplace close by but then Tate
lip locks me and I melt into him. His tongue finds mine instantly and I
continue to rub his head.

“It’s hot” I tell him about his shaved head “And it matches my you know
from the shaving.”

“As much as I want to hear all about that and God, do I want to hear ALL
about that we have like three more minutes before your parents are going to be
back so shut up and kiss me” Tate orders and I obey.

Just as we are breaking apart to come up for air we spot my mother and Katrina
coming from one direction and Michael and my dad coming from the other. “I’ll
explain later or ask your sister” Tate says as he takes my hand and we walk to
meet my family in the middle.

When my parents see me they look shocked at my weight lose. I am barely
eighty-five pounds right now according to Molly’s scale this morning. With all
the workouts and not eating much I have dropped almost ten pounds in six weeks.
I only hope I can keep it off.

We get my luggage and head to the car. This time my parents don’t seem to
notice when Tate and I climb into the way back alone. Tate holds my hand and I
put my head on his shoulder. He tells me that he, Katrina and Michael made a
plan to get my parents to leave when my plane arrived so Tate and I could have
at least one kiss. Katrina told my mother that she thought she just got her
period for the first time so my mom went into frenzy mode rushing her into the
ladies room while Michael told my father that he just saw George Michael and he
started running in the opposite direction of my mother and sister causing my
father no choice but to chase after him while he yelled to Tate to wait where
he was for me.

I rub my hand up and down Tate’s hard muscular thigh and I watch as he
shifts in his seat. He rubs my leg and asks me how the plane ride was and if I
listened to my tape on the way home. I tell him about the last days of camp and
ask him what he’s been doing that he looks so different. He tells me about
football training and how he and Bobby have been working out with Eric. He said
Bobby has gotten much bigger too and that he and Asia broke up a few days ago.
He said Asia called him crying telling him that she hated Bobby and that she
needed me.

We drop Tate off at his house and I promise to call him later that night.
I tell him that I need to call Asia as soon as I get home. When I do she’s a
mess and I have no choice but to walk to her house and see what’s going on.
When I get there I find her in her room alone in bed.

She sobs, “I needed you and you weren’t here. You suck as a best friend.”
And it cuts me to the core.

“What happened with you and Bobby, Tate said you broke up. That you
called him crying and said you hated him. What did he do? Tell me what
happened” I demand.

“He fucked me one time too many and knocked me up. Eric and Bobby took me
to the clinic, I had money from my Birthday and Christmas and I borrowed the
rest from my sisters and I took care of it but then the fucking prick dumped me
a few days later saying he just can’t be with me right now.”

I am speechless so I just hold her and we cry together for hours. Asia
cries that she killed her baby and I just listen. She says she’ll never have
sex again because she can never go through that ever again. She tells me about
the procedure and how scared she was. She says Bobby went with her but waited
in the car with his brother. I ask her why she didn’t wait for me to get home
and she says she didn’t know how long she could wait and that she just wanted
it over with before she changed her mind.

It’s dark before I get up to leave, I call my house and my mom comes to
pick me up. I get in the car, hug her and ask her if we can talk. She notices
my tear stained face and asks if everything is alright. I tell her that I’m
fine but that we need to talk. She pulls into our driveway, turns off the
engine and we sit in the car together, neither one of us talking for a long
time. She asks why I’ve lost so much weight and I lie to her that it’s just
from all the working out I had to do at the camps. I don’t include the fact
that I hardly ate a thing or that Molly has taught me how to stick my finger
down my throat if I eat too much so I can puke it all up. Instead I change the
subject from me and tell her about Tate and how much I love him. I’m honest
with her that we have not done it yet but that we have talked about it. I tell
her we have done other things but she doesn’t ask what so I leave it at that. I
explain that I want him to be my first and my last. She sighs and tells me
that’s not realistic but crazier things have happened. She agrees to not tell
my dad because I am convinced that he’ll kill Tate. She says she’ll call her
doctor first thing on Monday and get me an appointment for an exam and for me to
get on the pill. I promise to be careful and she hugs me, “Stop trying to grow
up so soon, honey. I’m not ready to let you go just yet, okay?” she says with a
sad smile on her face. I smile back and we walk into the house holding hands.

I call Tate when I get into bed and tell him everything. I tell him all
about camp and Molly. I tell him why I am so skinny and I promise him I won’t
make myself throw up anymore. I don’t know why I was doing it in the first
place; I think I just felt pressure to be like Molly and a lot of the other
girls. I also saw how it worked to keep me thin. I hope I’ll be able to keep my
word to Tate and not continue to make myself sick to keep the weight off.

We talk about Asia and Bobby as “Stand by Me” comes on the radio and I
find it ironic that I wasn’t there to help my best friend through the hardest
thing she has ever done. I cry to Tate that I should have been there for her, I
sense that he may have know about her being pregnant and when I ask he admits
to knowing.
  

He knew about Bobby and Asia but didn’t want to tell me, he thought I
needed to hear it from Asia. He said Bobby didn’t dump her to be a prick he
just can’t deal right now with what happened. He’s scared and he didn’t know
what else to do. They had not been getting along all summer and things just got
worse when she got pregnant that he just had to get away from her for awhile.
But she told him she hated him and that she would never get back together with
him even though he just wanted them to take a break for till the end of summer
to cool off.

I tell Tate about the talk with my mom. Tate asks if my mom is going to
kill him or tell my dad so he can and I tell him she promised not to. He
sweetly asks if I want him to go to the doctor’s appointment with me. It’s
sweet of him to ask but I tell him that my mom is taking me.

“This whole thing sucks so badly but I am really glad you’re home Brook,
I missed you so much. I have a lot to tell you, do you want to catch up now or
are you way too tired after traveling and then everything with Asia? We can
talk tomorrow. Can I see you tomorrow?”

I agree to see Tate the next day; we make plans to go to the beach with
Wendy and Danny. I blow Tate a kiss through the phone and say good-night. We
sleep together on the phone for the first night in six weeks; and because of
him I sleep well that night even after everything that happened that day.

I hit play on my boom box and “I
Knew You Were Waiting” comes blasting out as Brook enters the terminal. She
runs to me and jumps into my arms so I lift her up and spin her around while
she rubs my new fuzzy head. She looks scary skinny like one of those
concentration camp survivors. I’m worried that she’s anorexic and hasn’t eaten
in six weeks. It’s like every pound of muscle I’ve managed to gain this summer
she’s lost.
 
When Brooklynn’s parents see
her they look as shocked as I was at her weight lose, she looks like she is
eighty pounds.

On the car ride home we hold hands
and she puts her head on my shoulder. I tell her how I’ve kept up my daily
workout regimen from basketball camp and I ask her if she wants to workout with
me now that she’s home. I don’t think she’ll be able to keep up with me but
maybe it’ll help her put a little weight back on. I hate seeing her like this,
I want to do everything in my power to keep her happy, healthy and safe and I
feel like I’ve failed her.

Later that night Brook calls me and
we talk about her camps and she admits why she’s so skinny. She tells me she’s
been making herself puke after she eats and I make her promise me to stop or I
tell her I am telling her parents and getting her help. I just hope now that
she’s home and I can watch her and keep her from continuing doing it. This is
why I need her to stay near me, so I can keep her safe from shit like this. I
don’t know what would make her want to be this skinny, she looked great before.

************

Darren and I meet to have our final talk about Tate’s presentation. Darren
gives me three lists, one is a list of the artists who will be performing, another
is of who will be in attendance and the third list is of every artist Tate has
either worked with or represented over the years. Over the next few weeks Heidi
and I secretly work in my studio day and night on the story line, song
selections and choreography so it will be a surprise for Tate. We decide to go
with a contemporary routine using current artists. Our dancers from New York
and some new ones we bring on for this project work endlessly at the studio
making sure they are perfect. We couldn’t ask for a better group of
professionals. I hope the exposure they’ll receive from being a part of this
project will send their careers into full swing. They all deserve it.