Authors: Susan X Meagher
As soon as the park opened he was going to take a week off to show the kids the park in detail, then spend a couple of days at home. Her jealousy was intense enough that she would have tried to pass herself off as him, if he weren’t much taller and thinner than she was. She dropped her head and rested it on the table. Her neck muscles were so rigid they’d started to burn, but she couldn’t do a thing about it. “I never thought it would be like this. Did you?” she asked. She was about to cry, but it’d be a cold day in hell before she’d show that kind of emotion at work.
“Like what?”
“I used to dream of how much fun it would be to have my nieces here for opening day. I had this image of holding their hands and skipping merrily down Bear Boulevard. It didn’t occur to me that we’d be locked up in makeshift offices, working until three or four in the morning.”
“I guess it didn’t occur to me either, but I never thought about skipping down the street.” He laughed, but it sounded so weak she felt sorry for him. “I’m too macho to skip.” He reached over and gave her a firm clap on the back. “The kids will have fun whether you’re there or not. They’re very adaptable.”
She sat up and tried to loosen her neck muscles, even though she knew it was futile. She was sure Fernando was partially right. The kids would still have fun. But she wasn’t as sure as he was about their adaptability. One day they’d look back on photos from the trip and recall that dad was working most of the time, and that couldn’t be good.
*
Kaatje arrived on “Open Minus Two,” the ridiculous way that Laurie now kept time. After moving heaven and earth, and promising to let Fernando leave early the next night, Laurie got back to the room at two in the morning. Poor Kaatje had spent forty-one hours getting to Japan. She was now lying on top of the made bed, fully clothed. Although she was sound asleep, she wasn’t in any of her usual sleep positions. Actually, it looked like someone had pushed her onto the bed after she’d passed out.
Remarkably disappointed at not having her smiling face greet her, Laurie quietly moved around the room, taking off her clothes and going to brush her teeth. Kaatje hadn’t moved, so Laurie went to the closet and took out a blanket. She lay next to Kaatje, who still didn’t budge, covered them both with the blanket and tried to touch her just enough to sate her need. She settled on holding her hand, which was limp in her grasp. But having her there made everything seem right, and she fell asleep even more quickly than usual.
*
When the five a.m. alarm shocked Laurie awake, she sat bolt upright in bed. Her heart raced and she wasn’t sure where she was for a few seconds. But a light was on and she looked across the room to see Kaatje, still dressed, sitting in a chair, waving at her.
“You look miserable.” Laurie slipped out of bed and went to sit on her lap.
“You look exhausted.”
They hugged for a long time, neither speaking. Talking couldn’t add a thing that being in each other’s arms didn’t already say.
Laurie finally sat up. “I’ve gotta get going. Can you go back to bed?”
“I’ve been up since three. I’m beat, but I can’t keep my eyes closed.”
“I know the feeling. Try to stay up if you can. Have breakfast. It’ll help.” She went into the bathroom, took a shower and brushed her teeth. When she came back, she held Kaatje’s face in her hands and kissed her a dozen times. “My mom will keep you busy if you let her.”
“I will.” Kaatje stood and they hugged tenderly. “I had fun with your family last night. We all missed you.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t at least introduce you all. Was everyone nice to you?”
“Very nice. Your mom acted like I was a member of the family who she’d just seen a week ago. She was fabulous.”
“That’s her. She’s been an angel, trooping everyone around to keep them busy.”
“When I get some rest, I’ll meet up with them. I love being led around.”
“Then the Nielsen women are just the ticket.” She kissed her one more time. “I miss you already.” She sighed. “Tomorrow’s the big day. I wish I could say I’ll be home tonight, but I’m taking another suit and blouse just in case. I might have to bathe in the Pirate’s Lagoon.”
“I wish I could go with you, but I’m looking forward to spending time with your family.”
“They’ve got you for two more days. Then you’re all mine.” She stood in the doorway, looking at Kaatje longingly. “I’ve been fantasizing about how it would be when you got here. I had all of these dreams of jumping into your arms and making love for hours.” She let her head rest upon the door for just a second. “I promise this is the crappiest reunion we’ll ever have. We’ve got nowhere to go but up.”
*
June the first, nine o’clock in the morning, and every important person in Osaka as well as in the national government of Japan was seated on a massive dais in front of the entrance gate. Since the park was the biggest project to open in Japan since the earthquake, the opening had garnered extensive international attention, adding to the pressure. But there was nothing to do at that moment but reflect while the speeches droned on.
Laurie had stood on this very spot over six years ago, fresh from completing her MBA. She and Fernando had been in Osaka for some meetings with the governor of the Osaka prefecture, and she was going to stay on for a few months to co-ordinate a mass of details with the site managers and transportation planners. She’d been terrified. It was her first time out of the country, and she didn’t speak a word of Japanese. Now, here she was, six years and what seemed like a billion miles in travel later, knowing her parents, her sister and brother-in-law, her nieces, and most important, Kaatje were all here together. She couldn’t find any of them in the crowd. In fact, she was fairly sure she wouldn’t be able to catch up with them until she was back at the hotel. But knowing they were there made the whole, ridiculous journey seem like it had been worth it. Now, if the gates opened properly, the food wasn’t toxic, and the rides didn’t kill anyone, it was all downhill.
*
The park closed at eleven, and everyone responsible for a department or division met at 11:05 in a well-disguised conference room not far from Teddy Bear’s Bee Hive. They picked apart every minor problem that had occurred until the Chairman of the Board of Luxor appeared and personally thanked each of them. When he stopped in front of her, he leaned in and said, “We have big plans for you, Laurie. I know it’s too soon to talk about your next assignment, but your work here has guaranteed you a ticket to do whatever interests you.” Then he shook her hand while patting her firmly on the back, like a coach would to a player.
Unlike someone heading out to put a hit on a wide receiver, she felt nothing but relief. Having the chairman know her name and praise her should have been a highlight of her career. But standing there, watching him speak to the next person in line, she was hit with a bolt of insight. She’d finished a huge, soul-draining project. It was a major accomplishment, but it was over. She’d given all of her time, energy and attention just for this day—but it felt completely hollow. It sounded stupid to even consider this important in the scheme of life. She knew now that she should have figured this out long ago. But the truth was that neither Luxor nor Teddy Bear could ever give her what mattered. Kaatje mattered, and she couldn’t leave the room fast enough to get back to what was truly important.
*
It was twelve thirty when she slipped her card key into the lock of her suite. As she knew she’d be, Kaatje was wide awake and ran to the door before it was completely open. “Best sight I’ve had all day,” Laurie sighed as the heavy door thudded behind her.
“Seeing the president of Japan on that big roller coaster wasn’t better?”
Laughing tiredly, Laurie shook her head. “Nope. You win.” She almost fell into Kaatje’s arms and they hugged tenderly for several sweet minutes. Nothing was better than holding someone you loved. It was an injection of a wonder drug. Everything was fine now that she was where she belonged.
“I’m proud of you,” Kaatje whispered. “If there were more people like you, the world would run like a Swiss clock.”
“Maybe. And a lot more people would die of exhaustion.” Kicking off her shoes, she started for the bedroom, but Kaatje stopped her and tightly held her in her arms for a minute. “Don’t toss off a funny comment. I’m very proud of you, and I want you to take that in.”
Laurie stood there for a bit, letting the words reach her emotions. “I do,” she whispered, then suddenly felt tears come to her eyes.
“And the thing I’m most in awe of is that you did it while staying remarkably, actually ridiculously, good humored.” She put her hands on Laurie’s arms and held her a foot away, gazing at her. “I can’t imagine working as hard as you have, but if I’d had to—everyone would have known I wasn’t happy about it. That was never true for you.”
“Thanks.” It was hard to swallow around the knot in her throat, but she nodded and smiled.
“I hope you’re at least half as proud of yourself as I am.”
“It will take me a while to be able to reflect. Right now I just want to get into that bed.”
Kaatje put an arm around her shoulders and they moved across the room. “You can sleep until noon, then I’ll get you a big American breakfast.”
She can’t be serious. How can she not know?
“I’ve got to be at the park at seven. Everything we couldn’t get finished for the opening has to get done now.” She turned and put her hands on Kaatje’s shoulders, seeing the disappointment in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I assumed you’d know…”
“I should have. I knew you’d only just been able to get your ‘no go’ list done. There must be a thousand other things you have to see to.”
Laurie unzipped her skirt, then turned to catch a glimpse of the bed, looking at it like it was her lord and savior. “I wish it were only a thousand. I’d be a very happy woman.” She fought through the torpor to focus. Her hands settled around Kaatje’s waist and she gazed into her eyes, seeing how open they were to anything she might say. “I’ve been crazy to work this hard for this long. Meeting you has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ll never let work rule my life again.”
Kaatje’s smile was so lovely that Laurie forced herself to ignore the rest of the truth. Finishing the job after coming to this realization was not going to be easy.
*
Finally, two days later, on Sunday morning, Laurie stayed in bed until noon. She and Kaatje ordered room service, and stayed in bed after they ate, talking and kissing and cuddling. Laurie was still a long way from rested, but she could imagine a time when she’d get there.
“What are our plans?” Kaatje asked. “When can you go back home?”
“Mmm, probably three months. If everything…” She stopped, knowing she’d screwed up again. “I’m sure I told you that.”
“I’m sure you didn’t.” Kaatje slipped out of bed, heading for the bathroom.
Laurie sat there, stunned at her own inability to communicate with her lover as well as she did with ride designers. There was a loud
bang
in the bathroom, and she guessed it was Kaatje hitting something hard.
She jumped out of bed and went to lean against the door. “Kaatje?”
“Not now,” she said, her voice tight.
“I’m sorry. Really, I am. I was
sure
I told you the shake-out would take a while. I have to turn everything over to Hiroshi. That’s six years of—”
The door opened and Kaatje walked out, cheeks pink. “I know. I know. Six years. I’ve heard that a thousand times. Everything revolves around the fact that you’ve given a fucking stuffed animal six years of your life!” She grabbed a shirt and a pair of jeans and stormed out into the hallway, stark naked. Laurie stared after her, too stunned to follow. Tears started to flow and she mentally kicked herself savagely for screwing everything up this badly.
She knew, she was one hundred percent certain she’d told Kaatje the shake-out would take a while. But she was equally sure she hadn’t ever sat down with her to go over the timeline. She’d expected these dates to just be obvious to her, and that was utterly ridiculous.
Kaatje had never, ever cursed like that. Actually, she’d never come close to raising her voice. Laurie had no idea how to approach her. Maybe letting her have time alone would help, but it could just as easily make her feel abandoned. Why wasn’t there a clear, easily understood manual for how to handle a relationship?
She headed for the bathroom, acknowledging that it hardly mattered. She’d be too busy to read it. She got into the shower and afterwards got dressed as quickly as she could. Kaatje had been roaming around the area, and she might have been oriented, but Laurie had seen nothing but the front entrance of the hotel where she got into and out of cars. Still, she had to go looking for her even if it was a waste of time. When she opened the door she almost tripped over her. Kaatje was sitting right next to the door, her legs splayed out in front of her. “I don’t have any money. Or shoes,” she said miserably.
Laurie reached down and helped pull her to her feet. “Want to go inside or go for a walk?”
“Inside.” They went back in. Kaatje was deflated. Her affect was glum and her voice soft. “It makes sense that you still have work to do. You don’t just open the door and walk away. I didn’t think to ask.” She finally met Laurie’s eyes and said, “I’m sorry for getting angry.”