Snared (Jaded Regret #1) (2 page)

I’d lived for the last six years hiding inside my head to shelter myself from letting anyone get close. Hell, my mother hadn’t wanted me, so why would anyone else?

Robyn was hot. It wasn’t that I didn’t have desires, I just refused to act on any of them. If I never opened up, I’d never get hurt. That was easy enough. But Robyn never cared that I hardly spoke or that I refused most of her invitations to go out and do something together. I guessed I was good looking enough. I had dark hair and dark eyes, and I liked to work out—though my body wasn’t anything spectacular. I wanted tattoos and piercings, but that wasn’t in the budget yet. Someday I’d make enough money to do more than feed myself.

This time, she’d convinced me to go to the theater to see a total guy movie. I knew she didn’t care about seeing it, but she’d wanted me to go out with her. Natalie had been shocked when I’d told her I was going with Robyn, but then got all misty-eyed and said she was proud of me. She was twenty years old but acted like she was my mother. I guess she had been for a long time.

“Because you aren’t like most guys,” Robyn said. “You don’t come onto me and try to get into my pants. You’re quiet, shy, and respectful. Girls like that, you know.”

No, I didn’t know. My throat was dry as her breath wafted over my lips. I could smell her perfume or shampoo or something. If I moved just a little, we’d be kissing. For the first time, I wanted to kiss someone. I wanted to do more than kissing. My dick stirred. It wasn’t like I was a prude or anything. My hand got plenty of exercise.

“I scare you, don’t I?” Robyn said. The movie was playing, and I could hear guns shooting and see the flicker of action across Robyn’s face, but I didn’t care. The theater was almost empty, and we were at the top of the rows, alone. I wanted to do things with her. Things I’d never done before.

“Yes,” I admitted.

“Why?”

I shrugged. How could I tell her the truth? Thankfully, she didn’t make me answer, because before I could try to come up with a response, she pressed her full lips to mine, absorbing the gasp that involuntarily came out of my mouth. Her warm tongue danced along the seam of my lips, and I found myself opening up, groaning as she made me come alive. I put my hands on either side of her face and pulled her closer, sucking her tongue into my mouth like I knew what I was doing. She moved the armrest in between us and moved closer, her body pressing into mine. She was good at this. Not that I’d know the difference, but it sure seemed like she was. Did she know I’d never kissed anyone before? Did I suck at this? She didn’t appear to mind, so I kept going.

My dick was fully awake and active now, pressing painfully against my pants. What the hell was I doing? When her hand traveled down my abs and to the button on my pants, I stiffened. She noticed and pulled back, her eyes finding mine in the darkness of the theater.

“Do you want me?”

What the hell kind of question was that? My body wanted her, yes, but my mind was running away. How could I tell her I’d never done this before? “I . . .”

“Let’s get out of here. My roommate isn’t home. I want to show you something.”

Show me something? I followed her out of the theater; her fingers entwined with mine. I examined our hands, her small one in mine, and I wondered if this was what it was supposed to feel like. Attraction. Lust.

I rolled over and opened my eyes, squinting as I took in the surroundings. Where the hell was I? My mind reeled, the pieces starting to click together from last night when I felt movement next to me.

I’d never woken up next to someone before. Hell, I’d never had sex with anyone before. Wait. That wasn’t true anymore. I’d fucked Robyn. Several times, in fact. After I’d blown like the novice first-timer I was within thirty seconds of seeing her naked, I’d summoned him back to life several other times and Robyn had blown my mind. Literally. That girl was . . . good. I knew the way she wrapped her mouth around me and brought me to the edge and then sank herself on top of me that it wasn’t her first rodeo.

She hadn’t cared that it had, in fact, been mine. She’d been patient and taught me a lot. By the time we passed out, I had thought I might never be the same again.

“Someone is awake,” Robyn purred, her hand finding my rock hard wood. My eyes rolled at her touch.
This is what I’ve been missing all these years
. Before I could realize what she was doing, she flung the sheet back and took me entirely into her mouth, sucking me so hard I swore I’d shoot in her mouth before we even got started.

“Mmmm,” she murmured. I gripped her hair, guiding her as my hips flexed involuntarily. She was naked, her breasts brushing against me as she moved. I’d never touched a woman until last night, but holy fuck was it amazing. I ran my fingers along her smooth back and down to her ass. She squirmed as I reached between her legs and touched her, sliding two fingers into her wetness. She groaned against my dick, apparently liking what I was doing. Who knew I could please her?

I knew I was going to come soon and wanted to do it while inside her. I lifted her head gently, and she got the hint. “Do you . . . like it from behind?” The only time I’d ever seen this was in porn, but I’d always wanted to try it.

She grinned, turning her body so she was on all fours. I’d take that as a yes. She looked back at me, watching as I guided myself into her wet entrance. “Oh, Beauuuu,” she said, making my name several syllables. “You sure you’ve never done this before? Because, hell, you’re awesome.” There was no more talking as we both chased our release.

After I had spilled myself into her again, I cleaned up and kissed her swiftly, needing to head to work. She was off today, so I thought maybe she’d want to see me again. I was hooked on her in just this short time. I needed to be inside her, kiss her, lay with her. It was a feeling I’d never had before, but I liked it.

Robyn kissed me when I left, and had I known it was the last time I’d ever see her, I might’ve made it a little more memorable.

Beau ~ Present

I TAPPED THE
drumsticks on my leg, my eyes closed and my head nodding as I worked through the lyrics Bex and I had written and finalized just a few days ago. We were going to start rehearsing it this afternoon, but my head wasn’t in the game yet. I’d had a fucking therapy session today, and it had rattled me more than I would admit to anyone. I fucking hated going, but it was a necessary evil in my life. I knew enough to know what would happen if I didn’t keep up with it. That and the damn medicine that kept my head straight. She’d asked me all the typical questions:
How are you doing with the new pressure on you? Are you as fine as you pretend to be? Are you letting people in
?

The answer to those questions was always the same—to her, anyway. “I’m more than fine. I love my new life, and I’m trying my hardest to let people in. I’d tried going on a date last month, and she didn’t run away screaming.” The truth was far from that, though, and she knew it. I hadn’t been on a date, well . . . ever, and even when I’d been interested in getting to know someone for the first time since Robyn, it had fizzled before it got started. While being one of the hottest new rock bands in the country was fucking awesome, I had no idea how to handle the attention the fame had given me. I’d always been a quiet guy that kept to myself, but now people wanted to talk to me. People I didn’t know. Girls wanted to fuck me. And I had no idea how to handle any of that.

I didn’t need to practice the drums on my leg anymore. I’d had to do that when we lived in the shitty apartment. Now, Natalie and I had purchased our own home together and had the garage outfitted with soundproof walls so I could practice whenever I wanted, but it was a hard habit to break. It was a ritual at this point.

The door swung open and Natalie breezed in, her blond hair flying behind her. Her hands were full of bags and I got up to help her. She was the one thing in my life that made sense, other than Bex and the band.

“Thanks,” she said. “What are you doing? Ready for practice today? How was therapy?” Leave it to my sister to bombard me with questions without taking a breath.

I shook my head, a laugh rumbling in my chest. “Breathe, Nat.”

She laughed. “Sorry. I’m all over the place this afternoon.”
I know the feeling
. “I had a phone conference with Allan on the way home.”

Allan was our rep at the label that had signed our band, Jaded Regret, a few years back after our tour with Halestorm.

“Oh? And?” I rubbed my short beard, waiting for her answer. I knew he was working with Natalie on our new tour schedule, which had been put on hold while Bex and Johnny had their new baby and spent time adjusting to being a family of four.

There was nothing like playing with Lennox and holding baby Jaden to realize there was still good in the world. To see Bex happy satisfied me like I never thought possible. That girl had had a shitty life, too, much like Nat and me. She was a bitch with a capital B before Johnny came along,
and
while they “dated,” or whatever you wanted to call that clusterfuck. Don’t get me wrong, she still had her moments when her inner bitch came roaring out, but Johnny had calmed her. Or maybe being a mom had calmed her. Whatever it was, it looked good on her. Her face was relaxed, and when she smiled, she lit up a room. She’d immediately become America’s Rock Sweetheart, and once she and Johnny were married and had kids? Hell, she was practically idolized.

It didn’t hurt she was married to Johnny, either. He had women falling at his feet in droves, but the only one he ever had eyes for was Bex. When he joined Jaded Regret after Ryver went back to Mexico to live with his mom, our popularity went even further through the roof. I guess the women thought he was hot or something and ate up their love story like their favorite romance novel. We’d been featured on the cover of
Rolling Stone
because of them. It was good PR, as Allan would say.

“Beau.” Natalie’s hand on my arm made my eyes snap to hers, and I realized she had been talking to me while I zoned out.

“Sorry. What did Allan say?”

Her brow furrowed. Natalie being the only family I had, other than the band, made her fiercely protective of me. She had been ever since I was twelve years old and she was fourteen and we’d been on our own in a foster care system that cared little about the children in it. “How was therapy today?”

“Nat.” She rarely got me to talk about it, which I knew was unfair because she was the one who had to deal with me more than anyone else. After we had become successful, I’d wanted her to get her own place, and she’d vehemently disagreed. She wanted to be here, or she felt obligated to be. I hated the fact she put her life on hold for me, and I knew she wasn’t without her own issues from our childhood, not that she would confide any of them in me. She was a beautiful woman and had not only dedicated her life to managing our band, but also taking care of her fuck up of a brother. She deserved her own happiness: a husband, kids, and a normal life.

“Did you take your meds?” Natalie flitted over to the counter to check the pill container she set out every week with my morning and evening meds.

“Natalie,” I gritted my teeth. “I’m fucking fine, okay?”

She whipped around so fast she almost gave me whiplash. “Don’t you start with me, Beau Oliver. I know what it’s like when you decide not to take your meds for a few days, so forgive me if I’m asking. Now, how the hell was therapy?” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and set her jaw, the look I knew meant Natalie wouldn’t take any more shit.

I sighed, reaching up and twisting the small ring in my nose. It was a nervous habit, and she knew it. “It was good, Nat. I’m sorry I’m a dick. We’re doing the new stuff at practice this afternoon, and I think I’m just preoccupied.”

She narrowed her eyes, reading me like only she could. “I have some great news, but I’ll tell you at practice with everyone.”

It was my turn to narrow my eyes at her. “What the fuck?”

She laughed, turning to pull groceries out of the bags I’d helped her bring in. “Payback is a bitch, little bro. Plus, it wouldn’t be fair if I told you and not everyone else.”