Snared (Jaded Regret #1) (36 page)

I suckled her nipples as she rode my hand, her caress against my fevered skin almost making me lose it in her hand. “Beau, now.”

I shifted so she could shove my pants down far enough and, without taking her dress or underwear off, I sank inside her. A line of expletives I wasn’t used to hearing from April came from her mouth as I filled her to the hilt. I loved her in every way. The prim and proper April, the caring and motherly April, and the hot as fuck dirty April.

Her head fell back as she rode me. I moved my good hand from her hip down to where we were joined, feeling her tighten up as I began to circle her. “That’s right, April. Give it to me the way you want it, baby. That’s right. Ah, that right there. Keep going. Don’t stop.”

“Yes.” April shut her eyes as she continued to ride me. God, I could get used to this. “Beau, you fit so perfect inside me. I love every second of being with you. Do it harder, baby. Harder. I need to . . .” She didn’t finish her thought because I did as she requested and we both shuddered as our release hit us at the same time. As I pumped into her, her eyes opened, and we watched each other come down from our natural high. Her face was flushed, and a smile played on her lips.

Her gaze left mine and traveled down my chest and abs. “Gets hotter every time,” she said, her fingertips making goose bumps break out on my inked skin. “But then again, look at you. How could it not?”

“Ditto, baby.” I cupped her full breasts. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

April smirked. “So I guess this insanely mind-blowing break-in of my couch means that you accept my offer to help you raise Robbie and come live down there with you?”

She shifted but didn’t move. I knew we were probably both a mess and I was still inside her, but I didn’t want to move. “I don’t ever want to be a reason for you to regret anything in your life,” I said finally. I tapped a beat on her hips.

“Beau Anderson, the only regret I would have would be if I let you go and didn’t do this. It won’t be perfect. It’ll be messy and stressful and sometimes the hardest thing we’ve ever done. But it’ll be ours. If you’re in, I’m in, one hundred and fifty percent.”

“Come home with me. Live with me. Wake up next to me every single day.”

I hadn’t a clue what she’d do with her house or how her family would react to that, but I had to have her. I couldn’t let her go.

She kissed me so softly I barely felt it. Her face a few centimeters from mine, our eyes locked in an unspoken promise. A week ago, I thought I had nothing. Now, I knew I had everything.

“Close your eyes,” Natalie said as we approached Robbie’s new bedroom. In the week we’d been in Orlando wrapping things up to get ready to come home, Natalie had been busy. When she’d taken Robbie shopping before she’d left Orlando she’d not only gotten the child more clothes than he could ever wear before growing out of them, but also had asked him to pick out a theme for his room.

He’d picked sports cars, which was interesting. We’d enjoyed our week together just as our “little family.” I’d talked to Dr. Mia in a few phone sessions, as well as Dr. Grant and Dr. Viola. My new meds were working well, and I was happier than I could ever remember being in my life. Because Bex had wiped out Beats, I hadn’t been able to show Robbie how to play or play myself since the day I’d been released from the hospital. I planned to take him to my home studio later today and let him bang the hell out of the drum kit.

For the first time, I was okay. I had April and Robbie, and they not only kept my thoughts calm but my heart full. We’d done every single thing together over the last week, from talking to April’s parents and introducing Robbie to them, to the court date April had made happen to give me official custody of my son and place my name on his birth certificate. She’d said goodbye to her friends and coworkers, who had all been tearful. We’d played games, taught Robbie to ride a bike and ridden around April’s neighborhood together, and he’d been cooking a lot with April while I watched. I wasn’t any good in the kitchen, but I sure as hell loved to watch her. I loved to watch her do everything.

She continued to say her decision was final, and she was happy with it. She and Bex had been talking on the phone daily about the plans for the music equipment and April’s role in the girls’ home. She’d told me she wanted to work only part time at first, to be able to be there for Robbie as he adjusted.

We’d decided to homeschool Robbie, with a tutor coming in part time and April helping with the rest. With the band’s schedule so unpredictable, he would be able to continue his studies while we traveled. Plus, we’d found out through the testing he’d done in Orlando that despite being in and out of school for the last four years and being born addicted to drugs, he was smart and was ahead of his academic age.

I had an appointment with a child’s psychologist next week with Robbie, and April wanted to come, too. He’d had no other issues since the day he almost ran away, but I didn’t want to take any chances. I wanted a full battery of tests done on him, and if he needed meds, I wanted to help him. I wasn’t ever going to be that parent that shoved my child’s problems under the rug or blamed him for them. He needed the best chance of having a full life, and I was going to give it to him.

Auntie Nat, as Robbie had taken to calling her, opened the bedroom door as Robbie squeezed his eyes shut. He was almost bouncing on the balls of his feet; he was so excited. Gone was the child we’d met at the group home. It was almost like he wasn’t the same person now. Hell, I wasn’t the same person, either, so I could understand that.

As the door swung open, April grabbed my hand. We’d moved her things down here and put them in a storage facility until she could decide what she needed or not. Her parents were handling the sale of her home in Orlando and had been nothing but supportive of what she had wanted. They’d loved Robbie, and when I had pulled her dad aside to talk to him man-to-man, he’d been glassy-eyed and happy. They’d miss her, but we were only a few hours away.

Robbie gasped as he saw his room for the first time. Natalie had outdone herself, as usual. The walls were a medium gray with huge, life-sized cars on each wall. His dresser and side table were black with shiny silver handles that had emblems of cars on them. He had a full sized bed with what must’ve been a custom bedspread covered in all of Robbie’s favorites. A large, fluffy rug sat on the floor next to his bed, and the floors were done in a dark mahogany wood. I hardly recognized our guest room from what it had been before.

Robbie ran his fingers along the dresser, taking in the pictures of all of the cars. Something across the room caught his attention, and he walked over to a bookshelf that was full of brand new books. On the top shelves were model cars, also his favorites. He didn’t say a word as he continued to look, taking in every single thing. He opened the closet and saw all the clothes they’d bought, with brand new shoes on a shelf below. Toy bins held Legos and remote control cars. Every boy’s dream.

“Wow,” Robbie said finally. “This is all mine?”

“Every single bit,” Natalie said, her voice gruff. She loved that kid as much as we did.

“Thank you.” Robbie ran his fingers along one of the toy cars. “I’ve never lived in something as nice as this.”

It gutted me every single time he said something like that. Both April and Dr. Mia had told me I needed to let it go, to let him express himself without fear that I’d have an adverse reaction to it. I was trying, but damn it was hard to hear how my boy had lived before.

“Auntie Nat did a great job.” April ruffled Robbie’s hair. He wrapped his arms around her waist, still taking it all in.

“Thank you,” I said to Natalie. She nodded, her eyes full of tears.

“He deserves it and then some.” She crouched down to hug Robbie. He went to her willingly. If there was something my boy was, it was affectionate. For as standoffish as he’d been when we first met him, now he was always hugging one of us or holding our hand. I’d never been much of a touchy-feely person but with April and Robbie, I craved it. Loved it.

Natalie had offered to find her own place to live, but neither April nor I would hear anything of it. Our house was plenty big for all of us, and I’d never kick Natalie out of her house. I’d love to see her find someone worthy of her and settle down, but otherwise, she wasn’t leaving.

Natalie had been able to convince Allan that Jaded Regret needed to take a breather for a few months. Robbie was okay, and so was I, but we needed time at home to settle down before we had to travel again. The rumor mill had settled down about me after a few pictures had surfaced from the worst day of my life. For a few weeks, Jaded Regret had been trending on all social media while people claimed to have seen or talked to me. None of it had been true, of course. Allan had done damage control and said Jaded Regret was spending time in Orlando, relaxing together. Somehow it had flown, and it had never gotten out what we were doing there, thankfully. I was doing much better with everything, but I certainly didn’t want the whole world knowing I’d had a breakdown and tried to kill myself. Every time I thought about that getting out it made my heart pound and my head hurt.

The media hadn’t picked up yet on the fact that Robbie was with me wherever I went, or April either for that matter. I wasn’t worried about her; she could handle herself. I didn’t mind if they found out, but that meant April had to deal with the stuff we did on a daily basis. We’d have to talk about Robbie eventually because he was going with me wherever I went.

“What do you think, Dad?” Robbie’s voice shook me from my thoughts.

“I think I want this room. Thanks for doing that for me, Nat,” I joked.

Robbie laughed. “Nooooo. This is my room. You share the big room with Mom.”

We froze, all of us realizing at the same time what Robbie had said. He’d been calling me Dad easily, but he’d just been calling April by her name. It was huge for him, because the person he saw as his mom all his life had not only picked drugs over him, she’d left him in the worst possible way. He connected that name with instability and confusion, but it seemed he was ready for a new person to take that serious role.

When he saw the shock on all of our faces, tears filled his eyes and he broke away from me. “I didn’t mean . . .”

April dropped to the floor and pulled Robbie into her arms. She began crying, just like I knew she would. April was a fantastic mother. Despite the fact that being with me made her an insta-mom, she was born for the role. She was the most nurturing, loving person I’d ever known. “You called me Mom,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.

Robbie watched her, wondering if she was upset or happy. He didn’t understand the simplest kinds of body language. I wondered for the millionth time what his mother had taught him, but I’d been told not to push him. When and if he wanted to talk about Robyn, he’d tell me.

“You just made her so happy,” I explained. “Do you see her happy tears? You did that, Robbie.”

“I made her cry,” he said.

“No.” April wiped her eyes. “Not in a bad way. You made my heart so happy it’s leaking out of my eyes. I love you, Robbie. I want nothing more than to be your mom.”

“Really? So I have a mom and dad? Both?”

I dropped to the floor next to them and wrapped my arms around them. “You sure do, buddy.”

“And an aunt who loves you,” Natalie said. “I swear, every single time I’m around you guys I start bawling like a baby. I need help.”

We all laughed, and Robbie bounced up, his trepidation forgotten. “Will you show me your drums now?”

Beau

“ARE WE READY?”
My fingers moved like lightning on my pants. I’d finally gotten my cast off after eight long weeks wearing the fucker. It wasn’t a good idea to punch concrete, for future reference. Especially when you were a drummer.

“We’re ready,” Bex said, grinning. “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

“Who would’ve ever thought we’d see the day,” Tanner quipped. “After all those bras thrown at you and you just passed them on to me.”

I rolled my eyes. “Tanner, it’s
you
we don’t know if we’ll ever see the day with. It’s
because
I never did any of that I got a girl like her.”