Soldiers of Chaos- Chaos Abounds: Book 1 in the Soldiers of Chaos series (37 page)

Nikki's mind was reeling. They worked women together? Christ the two of them were linked in a way she hadn't expected. That's how Lenny knew all that stuff about the pair of them. All that stuff he said about it not being their first rodeo. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "This uneasy feeling kept gnawing at me as time passed so I went back to check on them. When I walked into the room Lenny was gone but the girl was still there. She was lying so still and her body was covered in marks some of which were forming bruises. I wondered for a second if she was even alive. Then she moved. I went to her and removed the hood. It was Slick's girlfriend." Lucy? Fuck! What the fuck did that bastard do to her? "I knew straight away that what had happened in that room was far from consensual. Lucy wasn't into the lifestyle. I cut her loose from her bindings and took her out of there. I brought her here and put her up in a suite. Had her looked at by a doctor. When she came to she thought I'd saved her, thought I was her hero. And I let her believe it because it was far easier than admitting the truth. That I was one of the people that raped her." Jesus. Was he that bad at reading the situation or was he just ignorant to what was going on? He scrubbed his hand across his face "I knew from the beginning it hadn't felt right but I went along with it anyway. I wanted to kill him so badly but that fucking bastard he'd recorded it and he used the footage to blackmail me into paying him to keep quiet. I tried everything to find the footage so I could be free of him, so Lucy could be free of him. In the end he killed her. She'd isolated herself from her old life and clung to me. I did what I could for her bought her whatever she needed and wanted, let her live in the suite, went to her whenever she called, held her when she broke down. She thought she was in love with me and all I was doing was easing my own guilt, I had no feelings for her. Then he sent her the footage. I can't imagine how she must have felt knowing the man she idolised and thought she was in love with took part in the event that destroyed her. She jumped off the roof of her old apartment building. She died because of me."

How wrong and yet how right had Slick got it? He'd gotten their connection wrong but he'd gotten the cause right. Lucy had killed herself because of Cole. Nikki watched as he hung his head. He had many reasons to want Lenny dead she was just the catalyst for that. The shit that they'd brought into each other's lives, the shit they'd brought into everyone else's lives, it had to stop. "Is that what you wanted to know Nikki? That I'm not just a sexual deviant but a rapist and a murderer. Is that what you needed to hear?" That was the last thing she wanted to know but it was what she needed to hear. She needed off this sick and twisted ride "Let me down Cole." Her quiet demand snapped his head around "What?" "I need to go. Cut me loose please." She watched as his eyes hardened "I thought you said you wanted to play?" "Well I don't, not anymore" She should never have agreed to let him restrain her. This had been his plan all along to keep her from running. "It's him isn't it?" Cole hissed the question at her. "What's him? What are you talking about?" His whole body became taught with anger. "Don't play games with me Angel. I was in the warehouse and I know what I saw and heard." It was him she'd glimpsed in the shadows that night. He'd been the one to finally end Lenny. "I'm not playing games with you Cole I honestly don't know what the fuck you are talking about." "So you don't remember breaking down and confessing your undying love to Deveraux?" Trace. Shit. Nikki dropped her eyes to the floor as she recalled her words to Trace as he lay there dying or at least she thought he was dying. What he'd seen and heard was something she couldn't just explain away. She looked up at him, her eyes finding his. The pain and burning anger there unnerved her greatly. It drew forth her fighting instinct and Nikki knew if she didn't squash it quick the monster inside her would be running the show in no time and that would not be good for anyone. She needed to remain calm. "We've been over this before Cole. We're close and I thought he was dying."

"Don't you fucking lie to me" He stepped to her smacking her in the face with his open palm. He'd never slapped her face before. She pressed her lips together tightly. Cole stood before her his body vibrating with anger. He shook his head as if to clear it and when his eyes came back to her they were filled with desperation. "I've shown you my world, given you things, things you need. I've killed for you. I would die for you. We belong together and I know that you know this. I've seen it in your eyes when we play. I see it even now as you're fighting it. You love me Angel and I love you." His hand went into her hair and gripped hard making her wince his lips inches from hers. "Tell me?" Her heart sank. This was bad, worse than bad, this was completely fucked up. He wanted her to love him and she couldn't. He could own her body all he wanted but he couldn't own her heart, she couldn't even pretend. Her heart wasn't his, hell it wasn't even hers. "I can't" the words came out in barely a whisper. "You what?!" he erupted "You can't!" His shoulders and chest heaved with angry breaths. "You can and you will." He moved to the closet opening the door and pulling out a stockman's style whip. She went cold. This was not going to end well but who was she kidding? She deserved everything he did to her. He gripped the curled up whip in his hand and circled around behind her. "Tell me" he demanded. She shook her head at him.

The first crack of the whip hit her back and burned like liquid fire across her skin. She tried to grit her teeth against the blow but a strangled growling noise like an animal dying left her throat. Then silence, no movement, she waited. "Tell me" his demand came out low menacing. "You have me Cole, you own me" her words were meant to soothe but they only enraged him further. Two more cracks of the whip licked across her skin. She cried out in earnest that time unable to hide her reaction to the searing pain. She felt as though her skin was crawling trying to claw its way off her back and away from the pain. She was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and she could feel the ugly dark inside her rising to the surface. "Not good enough Angel. I want to hear you say it." He whipped her again two maybe three cracks and fast. Her stomach twisted from the intensity of the pain and that dark ugliness sparked and lit a fire inside her. He wanted to hear her say it she'd say it alright. "You sick fuck. You think you can beat me into loving you. I don't love you, I will never love you. No one will ever love a sick twisted bastard like you Marcus Cole, no one." He roared at her "What the fuck did you just say to me?" Several more cracks sounded in her ear but she couldn't identify them as they hit her skin, her back becoming numb with pain. She gasped for air her mind beginning to drift in the fog of agony. Nikki shook her head trying to grab hold of consciousness. "You will do as I say. Now tell me." She stood firm again fuelled by the fire inside her. "No!" She screamed at him.

The onslaught began in earnest then as blow after blow struck her. Cole yelled and cursed at her through gritted teeth, "You will fucking love me." She tried to stand but soon she became weak her legs buckling. She held tight to the chain above her trying desperately to hold her weight. Her mind began to detach from her body and as she drifted in and out of consciousness snippets of information made their way into her brain. The feeling of something trickling down the back of her legs. Cole's repeated words. The pain in her shoulders as her arms became unable to hold her weight anymore. The sound of sobbing probably her own. Everything got lost in a swirl of reality and the wanderings of her unconscious mind. She had one last moment of lucidity. The whip flying past her across the room and Cole's broken words "Tell me you love me" echoed through the space. She sunk into darkness but it was no longer filled with visions of those other worldly green eyes, it was entirely black and empty.

Nikki flitted in and out of consciousness. She heard a door slam somewhere. The sound of whimpering. A pain in her shoulders. An itch she couldn't scratch. Pain, stinging pain. Her eyes flickered open. The chocolate carpet under her feet. The dark walls of the playroom. The bench across from her. The bed on her left. The sound of whimpering and pain, stinging pain. Her eyes opened fully. God the pain, the fucking burning itching pain in her back. She wanted to claw at it rip off her skin and be free of it. Her stomach heaved trying to empty itself of contents that weren't even there. Her arms felt as though they were being ripped from her sockets. She tried to locate her feet but her brain was slow to find them at the end of her legs. She placed them flat on the floor and tried to take the pressure off her arms. Her head spun and her stomach rolled causing her to dry heave over and over. Her body dripped with sweat from the effort. Nikki's eyes closed, she was sliding slowly back into the darkness. She gritted her teeth against it and gripped the chain above her as if it were the only thing keeping her anchored to consciousness. She pushed her brain to focus on what was in her hands. The chain. The hook, she had to unhook herself. She felt around with her eyes closed. She could just reach the clip enough to open it but she'd have to push up on her toes to unhook it from the chain. The idea nearly caused her to pass out again. She squeezed the hook slowly then took a deep breath to steady herself. She pushed up onto her toes in one quick and painful movement twisting her wrist to unhook herself from the chain. The edge of the hook caught and the feeling of failure swept through her. Her legs gave out and she fell, the weight of her body pulling the hook free. Nikki twisted as she fell landing on her side her head striking the floor and then she was out again.

Nikki jerked awake. Her eyes flew open and she tried to put her arms out then she realized she was already on the floor. The pain hit her like a freight train. This was like nothing she'd ever experienced, not the previous punishments Cole handed out, not the knife slicing through her skin and not the bullet wounds. Her head swam. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth sucking air through them. She had to move. She had to get out of here before Cole came back. She looked to the door it was only a couple of metres away but it felt like miles as she stared at it. She rolled onto her stomach whimpering as the movement sent a wave of agony through her. She tried to push up using her arms her back bent sending another wave of pain too strong for her to hold herself up and she collapsed back onto her stomach. She'd just have to drag herself. She slid slowly around to face the door, the carpet on her skin reminding her of her nakedness. Fuck. She wouldn't get very far the way she was moving but she wouldn't get very far naked either. She'd have to go for her clothes first. She adjusted her angle slightly and pulled herself across the carpet. Each agonising movement sending a wave of pain so intense it nearly sent her plummeting back into darkness. She had to stop close her eyes, grit her teeth and breathe through the pain between each pull. Finally she reached the chair and was confronted with a new problem. How was she gonna get the clothes on? She'd have to get up. She took a deep breath and pulled her legs up under her. A horrible pained cry escaped her as her body moved. She couldn't do it, she had to rest. She drifted off into darkness again.

Nikki came to slowly. She was cold, freezing and that itching burning pain hadn't gone away. How much longer was she going to have to endure this? She sobbed quietly. She had to get up. She placed her palms on the carpet and pushed up. Pain, stinging, itching, burning fucking pain. She reached out and grasped the arms of the chair pulling herself upright her upper body leaning against the chair. She took her time to catch what little breath she could, and then struggled into her shirt sobbing with every extension of her muscles. The shirt was loose but her body was wet from sweat and so it clung to her skin making her more aware of the pain emanating from her back. She stared at her leggings. How the fuck was she gonna do this? She gripped them in her hand and sat back on her heels. She rocked back onto her ass bringing her feet out from under her till she sat with her knees against her chest. The pain reached a new level as she reached forward and slid the leggings over her feet and up her calves. When she reached her knees she paused and blew out several huge breaths then cried out as she rocked forward folding her legs back under her. Tears rushing down her face she pushed up into a kneeling position and pulled her leggings up to her hips. She collapsed forward her upper body over the seat of the chair. As she rested there, face down on her cut staring at the patch she wished they hadn't rescued her from Lenny. That she'd never met Marcus Cole, that she'd never left her mother's house that day, that she'd given up and let them kill her and she cried. She cried for her mother, for the shitty life she led and the shitty death that ended it. She cried for the guilt she felt over her actions, the hurt she'd caused the boys and the hurt she'd caused Cole. She cried for herself, the hurt that had been inflicted on her and the hurt she'd inflicted on herself. She was so fucking tired, tired of the hurt and the pain. She drifted again into the blackness.

Nikki woke bent over the chair her cheek resting against the wet leather of her cut. She was still cold and shivering now but covered in sticky sweat. She could barely think straight between the pain and the cold. Something vibrated against her cheek. She slid her cut out of the way to reveal her phone. She couldn't focus on the screen. Clumsily she slid her finger across the screen to answer the call. Silence. "Hello? You there Ace?" It was Tex's voice. A wave of relief and elation swept through her battered body. She opened her mouth to say something but it came out a croaky gurgle. "Nikki? Are you ok?" She tried again "Need pick up." The words came out on a scratchy whisper. "What? You need to speak up Ace. What's going on?" She tried for louder this time "Can't ride. Need pick up." It came out stronger more audible. Tex swore. She could hear Trace in the background. "Where are you Ace?" Where was she? Not in the penthouse. They couldn't get in here and then they would know it was Marcus. Where? "Ace?" The parking garage. "Parking garage. Mint." "The private parking garage at the Mint, got it. Hang in there Ace we're on our way." Then the phone went dead. The parking garage. She mentally went through the trip. She had to get across the penthouse, through the doors, into the elevator and down to the garage. The thought alone made her weak. She had to get to her feet.