Some Girls Do (23 page)

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Authors: Clodagh Murphy

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BOOK: Some Girls Do
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‘There’s nothing wrong with it,’ he interrupted her. ‘I happen to find it really sweet – and quite a turn-on, actually. I like shy girls.’ He grinned. ‘It’s so much fun overcoming their inhibitions.’

‘Well, then—’

He sat up, eyeballing her. ‘But what
I
like doesn’t matter, does it? What turns
me
on is neither here nor there. It’s not me you’re trying to impress.’

‘Oh. I suppose not.’

‘No. So …’ He looked at her expectantly.

Claire sighed. She would just have to get this over with – the quicker the better, like ripping off a plaster. It would be worth it to be wrapped in Luca’s arms again. She yanked open the button of her jeans and started hurriedly pulling down the zip as she kicked off her shoes.

‘Claire?’

‘Yes?’ She stopped.

‘It’s not against the clock, sweetheart.’ He leaned back again. ‘Do it slowly. And start with your bra.’

Reluctantly she reached around and unclasped her bra. Even though she kept her gaze on the floor, she could feel his eyes burning into her.

‘Hey!’ he said softly. ‘Look at me.’

She forced herself to meet his eyes, trying not to squirm as she slid the straps down her arms and pulled off her bra, fighting the urge to cover herself with her hands. His eyes dropped to her breasts, lingering there before returning to her face. ‘And try not to look like you’re being tortured.’

She glanced away again as she felt tears stinging the backs of her eyes. She couldn’t let him see. But this
was
torture. She felt so humiliated, and he was so cold and distant. Surely being with someone like this shouldn’t feel so
lonely
.

‘You have nothing to be ashamed of,’ he was saying gently. ‘You have a beautiful body. You’re a gorgeous, sexy woman and it makes me hard just looking at you.’

She pulled the zip of her jeans down slowly. She knew he meant to encourage her, and she tried to take in what he was saying, but she felt so out of it. She hung her head, letting her hair fall forward to hide her face as she felt a tear escape and slide down her cheek.

‘Claire?’

Not thinking, she looked up instinctively at the sound of her name.

‘Jesus, are you
crying
?’ Luca was clearly horrified. In an instant he was off the bed and pulling her into his arms.

She couldn’t help the sob that escaped her then, and could no longer hold back the tears as Luca led her to the bed and pulled her into his lap.

‘God, I’m so sorry,’ he said, ‘I’m such an arsehole.’ He stroked her back soothingly as she cried.

Claire curled into him, burying her head in his neck. It was a relief to let go.

‘Ssh,’ Luca whispered, while his warm hand rubbed up and down her spine comfortingly.

‘I’m sorry, I’m being stupid,’ she said finally, brushing away her tears.

‘No, you’re not. I fucked up. You should have stopped me. Why didn’t you say something? I didn’t know I was upsetting you that much.’

‘It wasn’t your fault.’ She sniffed. ‘I just had kind of a lousy day and—’

‘And my prickish ways were the last straw? I’m sorry – I shouldn’t have pushed you like that.’

‘No, you were right. That’s what I’m paying you for. I told you not to go easy on me.’ She gave a rueful laugh. ‘Well, that wasn’t very sexy, was it – bursting into tears in the middle of a striptease? Maybe we should start again from the top.’ She wiped her eyes. ‘I’ll try again,’ she said, pushing him away so she could get up.

‘No!’ His arms tightened around her. ‘Hey, we’re not turning you into a
machine
here. You don’t have to be up for sex all the time.’ He stroked her hair away from her face, brushed away the last of the tears. ‘I’m sure even Hugh Hefner has his days when he’s not in the mood.’

‘Really?’ she asked sceptically.

‘Okay, maybe not Hugh Hefner,’ he smiled, ‘but normal people.’

This was the best she’d felt all day, Claire realised, all the stress and misery melting away as she laid her head on Luca’s shoulder while his hand ran soothingly over the bare skin of her back.

‘Um, Claire?’ he said eventually.

‘Mm?’

‘Maybe you should put your top back on.’

‘Oh.’ She lifted her head.

‘It really
is
making me hard looking at you,’ he said, with an apologetic wince, glancing down at her naked breasts crushed against him. ‘And I can’t not look. I’m a guy – I’m genetically programmed to look at tits if they’re on show.’

‘Okay.’ She scrambled off him reluctantly and crossed the room to pick up her top, putting it on with her back to him. When she turned around, he had moved and was reclining on the bed, propped up against the headboard. She faltered, unnerved at finding herself across the room from him again and wondering how she was going to get back into his arms. But he made it easy for her, holding them open wide. When she dived onto the bed, he brought her close into the warmth of his body.

‘Better?’ he asked, smiling at her.

She nodded.

‘Do you want to tell me about your lousy day?’

‘Maybe later.’

He sighed, pulling her into his side and stroking her arm. ‘We’re going to have to work on your communication skills.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You have a hard time saying what you want. You need to work on being more vocal, telling me what you need, so I don’t fuck up like I did just now.’

‘I told you, it’s not your fault.’

‘I should have picked up on the signals. I thought there was something off when you came in. But it’s not always easy to tell what you want. For instance, right now I don’t know if you want me here or if you’d rather be left alone.’

No, I want you here,’ she said, wrapping her arms tighter
around him. ‘If you don’t mind, that is.’ It suddenly occurred to her that maybe he’d like a night off. He could have easy, uncomplicated sex with a normal girl who wouldn’t freak out about taking her clothes off in front of him. ‘I mean, it’s Saturday night. You’d usually be out, wouldn’t you?’

‘Yeah, out on the prowl,’ he said, making wolfish eyes at her.

‘Well, if you want to do that, I could go.’

‘I don’t need to go out picking up women when I’ve got you,’ he said, giving her a squeeze. ‘I told you – I like sex, I don’t want a girlfriend. This arrangement suits me just fine.’

She smiled, nestling closer, hugely relieved that he wasn’t going to ditch her. How strange that Luca should be the first person that day not to let her down. She’d never expected him to be so
nice
when they’d started this – so kind.

‘You probably think you’re transparent, but you’re not,’ he said. ‘And you can’t always expect a guy to read your mind. You need to be able to say what you want. Like tonight, you didn’t want sex and that’s cool. But you weren’t able to communicate that to me. If I’d known, I’d never have—’

‘But I did.’

‘Did what, sweetheart?’

‘I did … want sex,’ she said in a small voice. ‘Just not – not like that. Before, you always—’

‘I took your clothes off. I initiated everything.’

‘Yeah.’

‘I thought we could move forward. But it was too soon. I shouldn’t have rushed you. You weren’t ready, and I’m sorry.’

She sighed contentedly, revelling in the comfort of his arms around her, the warmth of his body next to hers.

‘So you wanted to have sex tonight?’

‘Yes. But I wanted you to …’

‘Tell me,’ he urged.

‘I like it when you take my clothes off,’ she murmured, looking up at him from under her lashes.

‘And I
love
doing it,’ he said with a grin. ‘So you wanted me to undress you. What else?’

‘I wanted you to kiss me.’

He bent down and gave her a soft, wet kiss, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth. ‘What else?’

‘Well … I wanted to have sex.’

‘How exactly?’

She frowned at him in confusion.

‘Tell me what you want me to do.’

She blushed, reaching for words that wouldn’t come. She shook her head defeatedly.

‘Okay,’ he said, smiling down at her, ‘You’re feeling fragile tonight, so I’m not going to make you say anything. You can just nod, okay? Or shake your head.’

‘Okay.’ She nodded.

‘Do you want me to go down on you?’ he asked, his eyes on hers.

Claire buried her face in his chest and nodded furiously.

‘You want me to make you come with my tongue? And my fingers?’

She nodded again.

‘Anything else?’

‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘This.’ She reached down and put a hand over his erection.

‘You want me inside you?’ he asked, his voice husky.

She lifted her head and nodded, looking at him.

He smiled at her. ‘There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?’ He kissed her forehead. ‘And the best thing about vocalising is that it’s so rewarding.’ A warm hand slid up under her top to cup her breast as he leaned in to kiss her again. ‘Ask and you shall receive.’

Chapter Fifteen

‘So, you have a sister,’ Claire said the next morning, as they lay wrapped around each other in bed. She had slept late and woken slowly, still feeling wonderfully languorous and heavy-limbed after hours of delicious sex. She was glad she could stay put and enjoy a lazy Sunday morning with Luca.

‘Yeah, Ali.’ Luca smiled. ‘Sorry about that. I gave her a key once after she’d been waiting outside here and some local thugs were giving her hassle. But I’ve told her to try ringing the bell first in future.’

‘Is she older or younger?’

‘Younger.’

‘You’re very alike,’ she said, propping her chin on his chest and looking into his sparkly brown eyes.

‘Only superficially,’ he said, one finger lazily stroking her arm. ‘She’s not really my sister. We’re both adopted.’

‘She’s from Romania too?’

‘Yeah. Same orphanage.’

‘Did you know her there?’

‘Yeah.’ Something flickered in his eyes. ‘She’s the reason I got adopted really.’

She waited for him to elaborate, but he said nothing. His eyes were evasive, following his stroking finger, and his normally open face seemed shuttered. ‘How so?’ she asked.

‘Jacqueline wanted Ali, Ali wanted me. So she took us as a job lot.’

‘Who’s Jacqueline?’

‘The woman who adopted us.’

‘So … your mother?’

The stroking finger stilled and he was silent for a moment. ‘Yeah,’ he said eventually, and there was a hard edge to his voice. ‘I suppose you could call her that.’

She felt a chill at his tone. She was curious about what would make him talk so coldly about his adoptive mother. It didn’t seem like him – not that she knew him very well – but there was such warmth and affection in his voice when he spoke of his sister that it was obvious he adored her. And she knew herself how sweet he could be. She wondered what his mother could have done to alienate him, but as it was clearly a touchy subject, so she decided to leave it alone.

‘My mother wrote a book about it,’ he said, linking his hands behind his head. ‘Why don’t you read it if you want all the gory details?’

Claire felt rebuked. She was sorry she’d said anything. A minute ago she’d felt so close to him, and now he was angry and aloof. ‘Sorry,’ she said, lifting her head and lying back against the pillows so she wasn’t touching him. ‘I don’t mean to be nosy. It just seems weird to be … like this and not really know anything about you.’ She didn’t want him to think it was just morbid curiosity.

‘No biggie,’ he said, but there was still an angry set to his mouth. His eyes flicked to her. ‘Sorry I snapped at you.’

He dropped his arms to the sheet and she curled into him again, laying her head on his shoulder.

‘Ali got attached to me in the orphanage,’ he said quietly. ‘I guess I used to look out for her – picked her up when she cried, gave her food when the bigger kids stole hers.’

Claire wondered if anyone had looked out for him, but she could guess. She remembered the horrific images on television of naked, emaciated children strapped to beds or caged like animals, the rocking babies who had never been picked up. Her mother had cried watching the news reports and had galvanised the whole neighbourhood to start fundraising.

‘Do you remember the orphanage?’ she asked tentatively,
nervous of pissing him off again. She knew it would be a painful subject and he might not want to talk about it.

‘I remember some things. I was seven when I was adopted, so I was older than most. I remember having cold baths and being hit a lot by the staff. I remember lots of children running around naked and screaming. And being hungry – I remember that.’

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly. She couldn’t bear to think of Luca as a frightened child, cold and hungry with no one to love him. ‘Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked,’ she said.

‘It’s fine. Ali doesn’t remember any of it, thank God. But I remember her.’ She felt him shudder against her.

‘How old was Ali?’

‘She was three when we were adopted.’ He smiled. ‘She went apeshit when they tried to take her away and she realised I wasn’t going with them.’

‘So they took you too.’

‘Yeah. And here I am,’ he said with an air of finality, drawing a line under the subject.

Claire was grateful when her stomach let out a long, rumbling groan, helping to dispel the gloomy atmosphere that had descended and bringing them back to the mundane.

Luca laughed. ‘Someone wants feeding,’ he said, giving her a squeeze.

‘I actually haven’t eaten anything since breakfast yesterday,’ she said. ‘I was running around all day, and then when I got here …’

‘You were in too much of a hurry to get me into bed to bother with food,’ Luca finished, grinning.

‘Yeah, pretty much.’ She giggled.

‘Okay, let’s have breakfast, and you can tell me all about your lousy day. And then we’re going to work on dirtying up that beautiful mouth of yours.’

Claire looked at him quizzically.

‘Dirty talk,’ he explained, releasing her to throw back the
duvet. ‘We’re going to work on your communication skills, remember?’

Claire scrambled out of bed and grabbed her clothes.

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