Sometimes Never (30 page)

33

Mason

              The band finally got their practice in after I talked Hope back into the basement. Park and I were on our best behavior, which means we ignored each other really well. I figure at some point we’re probably going to have to acknowledge the other’s existence, but for now, our arrangement works.

             
Hope’s been writing lyrics across my arms since everyone took off to get ready. Her writing is small and stick like and I have to squint to read it. I keep going back to the lines on the back of my hand.
I’m done counting days. Now because of you I’m making the days count
.

             
I wonder if it’s part of a song already or if she’s composing on my skin. The idea makes me smile and my heart beat faster. I’m also curious if I’m the inspiration behind those words. If so, it’s awfully ironic because the same is true for me. Since I’ve met Hope, my life actually counts for something. I’m not just filling the hours. Now I’m enjoying them. I’m making plans. I’m thinking about the future and liking what I’m imagining. Life is good.

             
I kiss the top of her hair, inhaling her shampoo. Mangos. Funny how someone who doesn’t like fruit always smells like it.

             
I pull my wrist up to see her newest addition.
Sometimes when I’m kissing you, I forget
. She wraps her fingers around my wrist, shielding the line, and brings her mouth to mine. Her fingers comb my hair back from my forehead. “Don’t read them right now. When you go home tonight to change, read them then.”

             
I nod. “Okay. Are these from songs?”

             
She bites her lip and I nuzzle her neck, urging her to talk to me. “Guy has this music he’s been holding onto for awhile. It’s meant to be the big love ballad. He’s pushed me to put lyrics to it since he got it finished, but I couldn’t.” She ducks her head into my shoulder. I feel her teeth graze against my tee shirt.

             
“This is them,” she whispers. “It’s your song.”

             
I pull back, trying to look at her, but she comes with me, keeping her face hidden. “My song? You wrote me a love ballad?” My stomach pulls tight and my throat feels raw. Everything feels raw. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so cut open. How can she be mine? I don’t deserve her. She wrote me a song.
She wrote me a freaking song.
I want to read every word on my body right this very second.

             
“Hope, look at me.” I push her back as gently as I can, detangling her fingers from my shirt.

             
“I’m embarrassed.”

             
“Why? I love it. I don’t even have to know what it says or how it sounds. I love it. I can’t believe you did this for me.”

             
“It’s me. It’s everything I am. Everything I feel. Things I’ve never felt before. I’m putting it out there. It’s scary.” She tries to hide again, but I grab her face and make her look at me.

             
“This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I don’t care what anyone else thinks about it and neither should you.” I kiss her and sigh. “I cannot believe you seriously wrote a song for me.”

             
She smiles. “You’re great motivation.”

             
“When will I get to hear it?”

             
Hope glares at her hands, fisted in her lap. “I don’t know. I don’t want to ask Park to sing it.”

             
“You can sing it,” I suggest carefully. I love when she sings.

             
“I hate singing. I don’t like everyone looking at me.” She shakes her head, her hair flaring around her. “I should have Guy sing it since it’s his music.”

             
“Can Guy sing?”

             
“Not to save his life,” she says with a grin. “Dogs can’t even listen to him.”

             
“So I’ll never get to hear it?” The thought is so depressing I can’t help the frown from forming.

             
With her first finger, she softly smoothes the crease between my brows. “I’ll sing it for you. I promise. I’m just not ready yet. I wrote it, and that was hard and... I love you. Can’t that be enough for now?”

             
“It’s more than enough. I want to hear it, but I can wait.” I kiss her again. I can’t stop kissing her. “You’re the best girlfriend,” I murmur between kisses.

             
“That reminds me,” she says standing up. “I have something for you. I’ll be right back. Don’t...go anywhere.”

             
I chuckle and lean back against the wall, my hands behind my head. “I’ll be here.” I grin and wink at her. Her cheeks turn a soft shade of pink before she runs up the stairs.

             
As soon as she’s gone, I obviously look at my arms. I don’t read everything because she asked me to wait, but it’s torture to have it right here and not at least take a peek. My breath catches as I read the words.
You’ve turned my wounds into wisdom, teaching me to learn from my mistakes. Which ones are mine, and which were out of my control
.

             
I hear her footsteps overhead, so I lean back in the position I was in when she left. “All right, it’s nothing big, but I saw it at the store with Annie the other day and it made me think of you. So—here.” She holds out a plastic shopping bag and I take it. My movements are slow because I wasn’t expecting her to buy me something. Even when she said she had something for me I just thought it was candy or something, because, well, it’s Hope.

             
Inside the bag is a small box. I look from it to Hope and back again. My hand is shaking as I reach inside and if I could, I’d kick my own ass for acting so ridiculous. With a deep breath, that I hope she doesn’t notice, I take the lid off the box.

             
A shiny silver pick catches the overhead light, blinking at me. A cursive M is printed in a metallic blue in the center. I take it out and run my thumb over it. “This is awesome, Hope. Thank you.”

             
“Flip it over,” she says quietly and instantly I know that whatever is on the back is important just from the level of her voice. I turn it over and smile. The words
take these broken wings
are gently engraved into the back.
Blackbird
. Her song. My song. Our song.

             
“Marry me,” I say and I’m only half joking. “You are seriously the coolest person ever.”

             
She laughs and I stand up, pulling her in for a hug. I have a beautiful girlfriend who writes me a song and gives me this awesome gift for no other reason than she saw it and thought of me. I love that she thought of me.

             
“I’m glad you like it.”

             
I tuck her hair behind her ears. “I love it. I love you. This doesn’t even feel real. I have to be in some long, elaborate dream because there’s no way I’m this lucky.” I twist my fingers into her hair. I can’t explain how I feel at this moment, but it’s almost like I could run to the top of a mountain, jump off, and land on my feet. I feel—powerful. Invincible.

             
She digs her nails into my hip, twisting painfully. “Ouch,” I yell. “What was that for?”

             
“So you know you’re not dreaming,” she sings.

             
“You could have just kissed me.”

             
“Mm, I didn’t think of that.”

             
“You can still kiss me,” I whisper as I bring my face close to hers. She closes the last inch of space, pushing her lips hard against mine. She licks at my bottom lip and I suck her tongue into my mouth, kissing her back with equal force.

             
She pulls back, breathless. “You have to use it. The pick, I mean. Play for me.”

             
I reach behind me and grab Guy’s acoustic. “What do you want to hear?”

34

Hope

“I really don’t want to go to this party tonight,” I insist. “If you loved me at all you wouldn’t make me.”

             
Guy sighs loudly. “Then I guess I don’t love you ‘cause you’re going,” he says flatly. “It’s two hours for two hundred bucks. Shut the hell up and suck it up. This will be good for us.”

             
I cross my arms over my chest and stare out the windshield. “You do understand that the entire football team will be there. Right? You know, the dudes that make your life a living hell? The same dudes that harass you every single day at school?” I eye him in the rearview mirror, wanting to point out that one of those people did something to Annie, but unable to state it with her sitting right beside him. “Everybody we hate.”

             
“I don’t give a shit about them.”

             
“You will when they mess with us,” I mumble. This is seriously not how I want to be spending the night. I’d rather be alone with Mason, snuggled up on the couch watching a bad scary movie and munching on candy.

             
“What’s taking so long?” Guy asks changing the subject.

             
“Mason had to take Kellin over to the neighbor’s house. His text said he’d be out in a minute. Keep your panties on.”

             
“I don’t wanna be late. How will that look?”

             
“Like I don’t give a shit, which I do not,” I say and Annie laughs. Guy shoots her a dark look. She tucks her lips and raises her eyebrows, but doesn’t comment.

             
“I want to at least appear professional seeing as how we are getting paid,” he states.

             
“Well, we’re not professionals,” I counter. “And if you don’t stop bitching I will turn around and take us back home.” He leans back and runs a hand through his hair.

             
Mason opens the door and plops heavily onto the seat beside me. He places a kiss on my cheek and a candy bracelet in my hand. I smile, pushing it onto my wrist. Could he be any more perfect for me? I think not.

             
“Awe. That’s sweet, Mason,” Annie squeals. “Is there more of you? I want one.”

             
“Kellin’s taken,” I say.

             
“Yeah, I’m not a cradle robber anyway,” she replies. “Have they perfected that whole cloning thing yet?”

             
Mason chuckles and shakes his head. Guy rolls his eyes. “Can we go?”

             
“What did I say about your bitchiness?” I hiss. “This car is only big enough for one of us and with Annie filling that spot you need to knock it off.”

             
“Hey!” Annie protests. “I am not being a bitch!”

             
“Yet,” Guy and I say at the same time. I smirk at him in the mirror and he smiles back, his body noticeably relaxing.

             
“I don’t know why I hang out with you guys. You’re always so mean to me.” She frowns and turns her body toward the window.

             
“Yeah, I don’t know why you insist on hanging out with us either,” I say as I back out of Mason’s driveway. He and Guy laugh and Annie glares at me. I blow her a kiss and she flips me off.

             
“I can feel the love in this car,” Mason laughs.

             
“Guy already made it clear he no longer loves me,” I explain matter-of-factly. “And as you know, Annie’s a bitch. But I love
you
.”

             
“I love you too,” he says. He grabs my hand and squeezes it.

             
“Oh. My. GOD!” Annie’s eyes are wide as she sits forward, grabbing the back of the bench seat. “Did you…did you just say you
love
him?”

             
My eyes flick back and forth, from the mirror to the road. “Uh…yeah. I did.” I know I’ve had this thing about love and relationships and commitment, but is it necessary for her to freak out like this?

             
She peers suspiciously at Mason. “What kind of black magic have you performed?”

             
He grins at her and Guy coughs to cover his laugh. His lips twitch ridiculously as he fights the smile that wants to form. “Well, I am a warlock,” Mason agrees, eying me conspiratorially. “But I just used my natural charisma on her. She fell for it hook, line, and sinker.”

             
I shrug. “Actually, it’s the candy.” I hold up my arm, shaking the bracelet as proof.

             
“Jesus, Hope,” Guy says, his voice exasperated. “I’m gonna have to break out those kindergarten videos again. You never,
ever
, take candy from strangers!”