Spiralling Out of the Shadow (The Spiralling Trilogy)
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Authors: Michelle Dennis Evans
Spiralling Out Of The Shadow
By
Michelle Dennis Evans
Spiralling Out Of
The Shadow
Text Copyright 2014 Michelle Dennis Evans
1st Edition
All Rights Reserved
Editor – Iola Goulton
Cover Design – Melissa Dalley
Cover Image purchased from Dreamstime.com photographer -
Suprijono Suharjoto.
Layout by Lilly Pilly Press
This book is a work of fiction set in Australia and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is
purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.
15+ Young Adult Reading Material
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Contents
For every girl who is a friend to someone.
Your unconditional love and forgiveness
is everything.
1
I missed
her like I’d miss my arms if they were removed. I tried to cram at the library, in the park, in front of the TV—anywhere but my room. That was where Stephanie and I always crammed.
I’ll be fine.
We’ll get to hang out again soon.
If I could just get this stupid assignment to make sense, then I could start on the other mid-semester assessments. I pushed my tongue to the roof of my mouth hoping to block the tears from forming.
My best friend
had only moved twelve hours north—it wasn’t like she’d died. What was wrong with me?
N
othing I’d written by the time the sun began to dip behind the mountains was good enough. I shuffled around the house before giving up and returning to my room to sit at my desk. An hour passed and I’d still done zilch. The phone interrupted my useless train of thought.
‘
Tabbie, Stephanie’s on the phone,’ Mum called.
I raced downstairs and grabbed our ancient corded phone.
‘Hey, I really miss you.’ I blinked to keep my eyes dry.
‘Yeah
? This town is a hole,’ said Stephanie, the most beautiful, sophisticated and elegant fourteen-year-old I knew. My best friend.
‘There’s this
English assignment I’ve got to do …’ my voice trailed off and Stephanie’s took over.
‘It’s worse than you could ever imagine,’
she said with a wobbly voice.
‘Why
? What happened?’ I twirled the phone cord between my fingers.
‘The boys whistle at me and
the girls don’t talk to me.’ She sniffled, then blasted me as she blew her nose.
‘Oh
, Steph …’
Seriously, Miss Popular was telling me she was miserable and would never fit in. Apparently co-ed schools were different. Well
… derr! Had she really thought it would be the same? Boys = Hormones. Boys + Girls = Distraction and … well everything else that goes with boys and girls mincing their time.
‘The worst is in the mornings. When I walk through the gates, the boys’
hoo-haaring irritates me.’
‘Why don’t you just smile and say hello politely? That should shut them up.’
Guess I’d have to work out the assignment on my own.
‘I’ll try tomorrow.’
‘Dance rehearsals are—’
‘Tabbie, I’ve got to go.’
The hang-up-clunk echoed in my ear as a stream of tears flowed. I trudged upstairs into the bathroom to splash my face with cool water. Then I slipped on my running shoes. Mum’s treadmill would have to do.
The smooth whir of the machine’s belt filled the silence between my steps. A fresh set of tears threatened, but I shunned them away as I turned
on Mum’s iPod. Her favourite eighties playlist dried up the tears and freed a smile. After half an hour I jogged straight back to my desk and wrote.
She’s gone
It’s sad
But great
At times
I miss her
But also
I’ve found delight
She’s gone
It’s hard
Alone, so lonely
She’s sad
Me too
She’s depressed
I’m not
But I’m missing her
Missing much
Here and now
It wasn’t exactly a response poem for the short story I’d read, but now that I’d written one poem,
I began to think in verse. I imagined Stephanie right beside me. I could smell her fruity shampoo and hear her bite down on a piece of chocolate. I wrote and rewrote until I had a poem worthy of at least a B.
I cried myself to sleep and awoke with wet cheeks.
It was obvious. I was a mess. My ridiculously beautiful and perfect best friend had gone. Moved interstate.
Where would I be ranked now without Miss Fabulous Dancer Stephanie
by my side? I rolled back and forth across the mattress in a sheet-tangled insomnia that went on and on.
Ouch!
What was that?
I pulled the doona off my head. What had I’d crashed into?
My floor. Stupid.
I stretched
, checking for bruising from my klutzy fall. Nothing. Not even a red mark to laugh about at school. Tension pulled from my shoulders to my toes. I threw the sheets back on my bed and changed into my sweats and trainers, ready to escape my room.
The house was quiet
, so I tiptoed downstairs and closed the door without making a noise. Our street, though usually quiet, whispered an eerie silence before the sun came up.
I ran without a plan, pounding my feet in autopilot. I’d be fine
.
It was only a couple of weeks until I’d be visiting Stephanie’s new home. I stopped at a wall of trees. Miles from home. Heading back, fatigue stripped my muscles. One foot in front of the other. Keep the pace. Breathe. Anything to take my mind off her and the way she’d left me.
I still had Janet and Suzie to hang with at school but life would be different. The four of us had hung out since the first day of year seven, but Stephanie had been there long before then.
The house was quiet as I returned home for breakfast. I swirled my spoon around in my cereal, unable to shut off my mind. Stephanie had been there when Fluffball, my cat, died. She was there when we surveyed the neighbours, imposing an investigation on Santa and the Tooth Fairy. I swiped at the trickle of tears and shoved another spoonful into my mouth.
‘You’ll be fine, love,’ Mum said as she breezed past me in her dressing gown with a basket of laundry.
‘Your mum’s right.’ Dad kissed me on the cheek and tucked a ringlet of untidy hair behind my ear. ‘Have a good day.’ He pulled on his pinstriped suit jacket, jingled his keys and left for work.
2
I wasn’t the only one lost without Stephanie. How could one person leave such a hole? We met at the usual table under the tree overlooking the oval for morning tea. But now there were three instead of four.
‘How will I remember all the steps at dance?’ Suzie seemed to shrink into her
own skin with each word. ‘I’ve always followed Stephanie.’
Janet pulled a file from her pocket and began shaping her nails. ‘Everyone else will get a chance to dance lead now, hey?’
That’d be right. Janet was probably happy about Stephanie leaving.
‘
It’ll be fine.’ I swallowed the thickness in my throat. ‘We’ll all be fine.’
Stephanie
had been our lead dancer. She was the star of every show. Everything revolved around dance. If I had a choice I’d rather hang out with my friends. Most of the time, I’d prefer to just go for a run. Dancing was just something I followed my friends in to.
After
lessons finished for the day, I trekked across the school grounds to dance class. It had only been a couple of weeks and Stephanie’s shadow still drew me along the same path. But now I was alone. I warmed up as I waited for our teacher to arrive. Suzie and Janet’s voices preceded them, distracting me.
‘I don’t know why I’m here
,’ Janet whined like a cat. ‘I don’t want to compete in front of other schools.’
‘But you’re such a great dancer.’
I stood up and moved towards them.
‘It’s all changed this year. I preferred when it was just us girls
,’ Suzie said, glancing around the room through her lashes.
‘But you know what Miss Skinner said
. She wants to add partnered routines. Just think—there might be some really hot guys come and join us soon.’ I hoped, anyway.
‘Anything would be an improvement on the boys we’ve got now
,’ Janet said in a low voice, looking towards Joey as he walked through the doorway.
I had to agree
—the two boys who had come into our after school dance program weren’t the blokiest of boys. Janet ignored them in class and Suzie blushed whenever they danced near her, especially Joey. I might have a long wait hanging out for someone hot to join us.
Miss Skinner breezed through the door.
‘Right, everyone. If you could all move outside, I’ll call you in one by one to audition.’
An
audition without Stephanie seemed wrong. She lived to compete. I sat on the brick wall, listening to magpies warble in the gum tree, waiting. One by one, our teacher called us in. My imagination ran off on a tangent. What would it be like to dance lead? It would be pretty cool to dance in the spotlight for a change. Even though I knew I wasn’t the best, everyone would have agreed, something inside urged me to prove them wrong.
After my name was called, I stood in front of Miss Skinner and her
assistant, Miss Ray. Standing alone, I checked my centre was balanced and took a deep breath to calm my shuddering heart as I waited for the music. When the beat bounced off the walls I burst forward into a split leap, then steadied myself before spinning into a pirouette. It was an old routine that I could do without thinking, one that Stephanie and I had danced over and over. Choreographing something new hadn’t crossed my mind.
Miss Skinner stopped the music when the song was nearly finished. I heaved for breath
as I skipped towards the door.
Miss Ray called Janet next. She stormed in, glaring straight ahead as we passed. If she didn’t want to be here, why was she?
A
fter everyone had auditioned, Miss Ray grabbed our attention with a wave of her hand at the entrance of the building.
‘You can all come back inside,’ she
said in a lyrical tone.
Miss Skinner stood in front of the mirrored wall. Every inch of her spoke to the world, “I’m a dancer.” My shape was all wrong to ever have that appearance.
‘We won’t keep you in suspense any longer. Today was about finding the lead dancer for the upcoming competition.’
I rocked from my heels to toes willing her to spill the details.
‘Congratulations … Tabbie.’
Oh my goodness! That was my name. Me. I
couldn’t believe I got it. Did I even want it? Oh my goodness!!
I
turned to my friends, wanting to share my excitement. Suzie’s face mirrored the wooden floor planks. She flung her school bag over her shoulder and stormed out.
Janet mouthed, ‘Who cares,’ as she flicked her hand.
Sometimes her “attitude much” was too much. Perhaps they were both hoping to be picked. Maybe one of them should have been picked. They were better dancers than me.
M
y heart raced as I hurried towards home with extra bounce. I had to speak to Stephanie and tell her.
I pushed the front door open and went to pick up the phone, but it rang before
I reached it. It was Stephanie.
‘I have to tell you—’
‘Are you packed?’ she cut me off.
‘
Nearly.’ I could tell her about winning the lead when I got there. ‘I can’t believe it’s only a few days away!’
‘I know. I’ve got to warn you, this place is abysmal.’
‘I can’t wait to see you.’
My thoughts flicked back to
Suzie and Janet. They were all talk about The Royal Easter Show. It would be the first I’d ever missed. Steph and I always went. This year I was giving it up to visit her.
‘Yeah,’ Steph said in a whisper. ‘You coming will be the only good thing that’s happened since I left Sydney.’
‘What if you could come
and stay here and finish school at Hill Top Private?’ I’d suggested before I realised what was coming out of my mouth.
‘Tabbie, you’re a genius,’ she said,
her voice high pitched. ‘See you soon,’ she gasped, like she was jumping up and down.
It was time to pull on my excited face. Stephanie sounded homesick and depressed. I was about to embark on a new mission of “Cheer up Stephanie
.”