Star (28 page)

And finally, at six o’clock, she went upstairs to change, and took off the gown she’d never wear again. She looked at it sadly for a moment, thinking of the endless hours of fittings, the attention to detail, and now she would have to put it away, to save for her own daughters to wear. She wore a white silk suit when she came downstairs, and a beautiful hat by Chanel, and the guests threw rose petals as they left. They were driven in the old Rolls to the airport. Their flight to Hawaii wasn’t until eight o’clock, and as they stopped for a drink in the restaurant, Elizabeth looked at her husband and smiled victoriously.

“Well, kid, we did it.”

“It was beautiful, darling.” He leaned over and kissed her. “I’ll never forget you in that dress.”

“I hated to put it away. It seemed so strange, after all that care and excitement over it, that I’d never wear it again.” She was feeling tender and nostalgic, and she slept with her head on his shoulder on the plane that night, and he smiled happily, certain that he loved her. They were going to Hawaii, and then they were going to join her parents for a week at Lake Tahoe before Justice Barclay went back to Washington, and they went back to New York to look for an apartment. She was moving in with him until they found what they wanted. She wanted to live on Park Avenue, which was too expensive on his salary, but she insisted she wanted to contribute too. She had gotten a trust fund when she turned twenty-one, but
he was uncomfortable about her helping him. They hadn’t worked it out yet, which was why it seemed simpler for her to move in with him until things were settled. And she hadn’t had time to look for a place anyway, while she was at Vassar.

But he knew everything was going to go smoothly, as she slept and they flew steadily on toward Honolulu. They stayed at the Halekulani on Waikiki, and the days drifted by like moments, as they lay on the beach, and went back to their room several times a day to make love. Her father had arranged a visiting membership at the Outrigger Canoe Club, and he called once to see how they were, in spite of his wife’s protests. She thought they should leave them alone, but he wanted to know how they were, and he was anxious to see them at Lake Tahoe.

They flew back on the twenty-third of June, and were happy and brown when they arrived. Justice Barclay had a car waiting for them, and Spencer drove to the lake, on the same day that Pearl showed Crystal the pictures of their wedding in the papers. She had meant to show them to her long before. The article talked about Elizabeth’s incredible wedding gown, and the fourteen-foot train. Crystal felt a knot in her chest as she read the details, and stared for a long time at a picture of Spencer, holding Elizabeth’s hand and smiling.

“They’re a good-looking pair, aren’t they?” Pearl still remembered that they had come to the club the previous winter. She had a good memory for faces and names, and she still remembered reading about their engagement in the paper, around Thanksgiving.

Crystal didn’t answer her. She only folded the newspaper and handed it back to her, trying to forget that she still loved him. It was a bleak day, and she went home early that night. She looked sick, and she told Harry she
had a terrible headache. They had enough entertainers that night anyway, and a lot of their customers were away. Harry’s had become a very popular club, in great part due to her, and her growing reputation as a singer.

But as she lay in bed that night, trying to forget the pictures she’d seen in the papers, Elizabeth and Spencer were sitting quietly near the lake and talking. Her parents had already gone to bed, and it was late, but there was always a lot to say. And they were talking about some things her father had said about McCarthy’s witch-hunts. Spencer had disagreed with him violently. He thought many of the accusations being made were unfair, and Elizabeth was teasing him now, telling him that he was a dreamer.

“That’s bullshit, Elizabeth. The House Committee is running around accusing innocent people of being Communists. That’s disgraceful!”

“What makes you so sure they’re innocent?” She smiled. She was in full agreement with her father.

“The whole country can’t be red, for chrissake. And besides, it’s no one’s business.”

“With the unrest in the Far East, how can you say that? Communism is the biggest threat to our world today. Do you want another war?”

“No. But we’re not talking about a war. We’re talking about attitudes in our own country. What happened to freedom of choice? What about the Constitution?” He hated talking politics with her. He liked her better when they were making love, or holding hands, or just sitting in the moonlight. “Anyway, I just happen to disagree with your father.” They’d been discussing it for hours, and after the long flight from Hawaii, and the drive to the lake, he was exhausted. “Let’s go to bed.”

“I still won’t agree with you,” she laughed.

“Maybe not, but at least you’ll have something else to
think about, other than politics.” She smiled and followed him back to the house, but he was too tired to make love to her that night and it had unsettled him to go back to San Francisco. Just being there always reminded him of Crystal.

But she was far from his mind the next day, as they water-skiied on the lake, and had dinner with friends of the Barclays. And the day after that, everyone was shocked at the news from Korea. It was called a police action by the government, but it sounded more like a war to Spencer. Young men were being drafted instantly and the reserves were being called up. And when he heard the news, he suddenly realized what it meant for him, as he turned to his wife, and she was horrified when he told her.

“You did
what?
” Her brown eyes were huge in her face and it was obvious that she was on the verge of tears.

“I thought it wouldn’t make any difference, and I wanted to keep my commission.” He had stayed in the reserves, and now the reserves were being called up. In moments, he could be on his way to Korea.

“Can you give up your commission now?”

“It’s too late for that.” And it was later than he knew. The telegram calling him back into the armed forces was already waiting for him at his office. George Montgomery called him that afternoon, and Spencer told Elizabeth with somber eyes. He wasn’t afraid to go. In an odd way, he wanted to, but he was desperately sorry for her. They had only been married for two weeks, and he was leaving for Korea. He had been told to report to Fort Ord in Monterey, and he had two days to get there. Elizabeth was in shock, and Justice Barclay was serious when he heard the news.

“Do you want me to try and get you out of it, Son?”

“No, sir. Thank you. I served in the Pacific before. It
wouldn’t be right to shirk my duty.” He had strong feelings about that kind of thing, but Elizabeth fought him tooth and nail that night. They had just gotten married and she didn’t want to lose him. But Spencer was firm. “I’m sure it will be over soon, sweetheart. It’s not a war, it’s a police action.”

“That’s the same thing!” She wailed. “Why won’t you let Daddy fix it for you?” She was furious with him, and she had implored her father to help her, but he wouldn’t do it unless Spencer asked him to. And in truth, he admired him for what he was doing. He was only sorry for his daughter. She was barely out of her wedding dress, and he was going off to war. It seemed damn unfair, even to him, but the only good that might come of it, in his mind, was that as long as Spencer would be away anyway, he wanted her to go back to Vassar. She only had one year left, and it would keep her busy while Spencer was in Korea. He made the necessary phone calls to Vassar himself the next day and she was even more upset when he told her it was all arranged for her. Elizabeth sobbed in her room at the cruelty of the fates. In a matter of days everything she wanted had slipped through her fingers. She had married him, and now he was going off to war, and she was going back to school, as though nothing had happened, as though their wedding had never taken place at all. Her father wouldn’t even let her live in New York and stay in Spencer’s apartment.

“Spencer, I don’t want you to go.”

“Darling, I have to.” He made love to her tenderly, and wished secretly that she weren’t always so careful. He would have liked to leave her with a baby. It would give her something to think about and look forward to, and it would give him something even more meaningful to come home to. But she always used her diaphragm, and at the crucial time of month, forced him to use precautions
too. She never took risks, but he didn’t argue with her now. They had enough on their minds. He had to report to Fort Ord, and she was going back to Washington with her parents in a few days.

“Can’t I at least stay with you in Monterey?”

“They won’t even let me see you. There’s no point. Go back with your mom and dad, and relax a little before you go back to school, and before you know it, I’ll be home. And you can always go to New York and stay at the apartment on weekends.” It was like a nightmare for her, and he was desperately sorry in a way, and in another way he was anxious to go. He had enjoyed the camaraderie of war in some ways, and the past year at his desk on Wall Street had been secretly boring. Not that he would have admitted it to anyone, and not to her, but the thought of going to Korea was exciting to him.

She drove to Monterey with him, and after a long tearful good-bye, she went back to the lake to be with her parents. She was flying back to Washington in two days. And by then, Spencer was up to his neck in a refresher course in combat training. He didn’t even have a chance to call her before she left, and as Elizabeth sat between her parents on the trip east, she cried bitter tears for her husband. Her mother patted her hand sympathetically and handed her a fresh supply of hankies, as her father slept most of the way. He was tired and he had a lot of work waiting for him when he got back. For all of them, it was going to be a very long summer. Elizabeth only hoped that Korea wasn’t going to be a long war. She wanted to start her life with her husband.

Spencer was at Ford Ord for seven weeks, going over obstacles and being trained in mock maneuvers. It seemed amazing to him that in five years he had forgotten so much, but as the weeks dragged on, he felt taut and healthy again and his body seemed to remember more than his mind did. He fell into his bunk exhausted every night, too tired to move or talk or eat, or even call his wife. He had to make an effort to call her every few days just so she wouldn’t be too worried. But Elizabeth complained more than she was worried. She was angry about him being away, when he could have been at home, going to parties. This wasn’t how she’d envisioned spending the early days of their marriage. But who could have known that the war in Korea would come along to change everything. In an odd way, it was a reprieve for him, but a reprieve that he hadn’t thought he wanted. He was sure when he married her, and yet now sometimes, when he called, he felt as though he were talking to a stranger. She told him about parties she went to with her
parents’ friends, and she had been to dinner at the White House with the Trumans. It was an odd time for Elizabeth, she was married, and yet it seemed like she wasn’t. She had gone to Virginia to stay with friends, and the following week her mother was going to take her back to Vassar.

“I miss you so much, sweetheart.” She sounded younger than she had before, and he smiled.

“I miss you too. I’ll be home soon.” But neither of them knew when. It could be months or years, and just thinking of it depressed her. She didn’t want to go back to Vassar again, didn’t want him to go away, and more than once she reproached him for staying in the reserves, but it was too late now. The damage was done, he was back in the army.

They gave him two weeks leave before shipping out, but they told him he had to stay within two hundred miles, in case they decided to ship him out sooner. He almost hated to tell Elizabeth about it, because she’d want to come out, and he didn’t think it was worth it. By then, she had to be back at school within a few days, and it would just upset them both saying their good-byes again, and if they called him back early, she would be bitterly disappointed. He told her about his leave finally, and she agreed with him, it seemed pointless to come out, with the risk that he might have to leave her at any moment. She suggested that he stay at the house in San Francisco instead, and with a thoughtful look he nodded.

“Are you sure your parents wouldn’t mind?” He didn’t want to impose even if the house was unoccupied. He didn’t want them to think he was taking advantage.

“Don’t be stupid, you’re family now. I’ll ask Mother if you like, but I know she’ll think it’s fine.” And when Elizabeth did ask her, Priscilla Barclay was quick to come to the phone herself and urge Spencer to stay there.
There was a caretaker, and an old Chinese woman who had worked for them for years, occupying the house in the Barclays’ absence.

“Just make yourself at home.” She felt terrible that he was being sent away, and even more so for her daughter’s sake. Elizabeth had been miserable since leaving Spencer in California. It would be a relief to send her back to school. At least there she’d have something to do while she waited for her husband to come home from Korea.