Star (44 page)

“Is he forcing you to say this to me?” And then a sudden thought. “Is he there?” That would explain everything. She couldn’t mean it. He had seen her face, and he knew that she still loved him. At least he had thought so.

“Of course not. He wouldn’t force me to say anything.” It was a lie on top of all the other lies she had told him to protect him. “I don’t want you to come out here. I don’t think we should see each other anymore, even as friends. There’s no point, Spencer, it’s all over.”

“I don’t know what to say to you.” He was crying, but he wouldn’t let her hear it. For a moment, he felt as though he had survived the war for nothing.

“Just take care of yourself. And, Spencer …”

“What?” He sounded as though someone had died.

“I don’t want you to call me.”

“I understand. Have a nice life, as they say.” He wasn’t bitter, he was broken. “But I want you to know something, if you ever need me, I’ll be there. All you have to do is call me. And if you change your mind …” His voice drifted off as they thought about each other, but she had to kill any hope he had, it was too important.

“I won’t.” Her face was deathly pale, but he couldn’t see that. She had done what she knew she had to, and now all she had left in the world was Ernie. It was a terrifying thought, but she couldn’t think of it now. And for these last minutes she could cling to Spencer, even if he didn’t know it. She didn’t want to hang up yet. She wanted to hear his voice, to listen to him, to be near him for one last moment. “What are you going to do about Elizabeth?” It was something to say, and in truth she had wondered.

“I don’t know. She says she won’t let me go. Maybe she won’t, or maybe she’ll get bored with this in time. We certainly don’t have a marriage.”

“Why does she want you then?” Tears were pouring down her cheeks as she tried to drag out the conversation.

“She doesn’t want to lose face. And I think this is all she ever wanted. Someone to play golf with her father, and take to parties.” It was an oversimplification but not by much, not by his standards at least. It was certainly nothing like what he had shared with Crystal. And odd as it was, as little time as he had spent with her, he felt as though he knew Crystal better than he knew his wife, or better than he ever would know her. “I don’t know what I’m going to do now.” Stay in Washington, or go back to New York, walk out on her, or take the job he had just
been offered. It didn’t matter anymore. He felt like a robot. “Anyway, I guess that’s a wrap, as they say … or don’t they really say that?”

“Yes, they do.” She was silent for a minute, aching to tell him that she loved him. She hated the thought of leaving him believing that she no longer loved him. “I guess it is … a wrap, I mean.”

“Be good to yourself, Crystal … take care …” And then the words that almost broke her heart as he hung up, “I’ll always love you.” And then he set down the phone, and sat in the little study Elizabeth had decorated for him, crying like a child who had lost his mother. He sat there and cried for hours, remembering her, savoring the moments they had shared, and trying to believe she knew what she was doing. It was difficult to believe this was what she wanted now, her career instead of him. He knew how important her dreams of Hollywood had been to her, but somehow this seemed unlike her. But he knew he had to respect her wishes now. He owed her that much. All he had to figure out was how to go on living without her.

And in California, Crystal set the phone down with shaking hands. Her whole body felt like ice, and she knew she had done the only thing she could, but she felt as though she had destroyed everything that had ever mattered to her. She had sold her soul unknowingly to an evil man, and now she had to pay the price that she would regret for the rest of her life. And none of it was worth it.

She sat staring into space for a long time, unable to believe that he was really gone. It was as though he had died, and she had killed him. It reminded her of what she felt when Jared died, the emptiness, the guilt, and the loneliness that overwhelmed her.

“What are you looking so cheerful about?” She looked
up with a start. She hadn’t even heard him walk into the room, but Ernie was standing in front of her, looking angry. “Something wrong?” She shook her head. She didn’t even want to speak to him. “Good. Then get dressed. We’re going to a premiere tonight. And afterward there are some producers I want to show you off to.”

“I can’t …” She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. “I don’t feel well.”

“Sure you do.” He poured a drink at the bar and handed it to her. She took a sip and set it down, not feeling any better. Drinks weren’t going to help. Nothing would. But Ernie smiled at her with an encouraging look. “You’re a good girl. Now go get dressed. We have to leave in half an hour.” She looked up at him emptily, and then stood up, and walked slowly toward their bedroom as he watched her. And she didn’t know it, but he was pleased with her. He had been listening to her phone call on the machine he kept hidden in his office.

She went out with him that night and there were photographers everywhere. Photographers who took photographs of her looking smashing on Ernie’s arm. She was quiet and pale, but no one even noticed. They had arrived late at the premiere, but Ernie didn’t care. It only drew a little more attention. He patted her arm as they walked in, and he was happy with her when the producers liked her. She hardly spoke to them, or to him. She was lost in another world, a world that no longer existed. The one she had once shared with Spencer.

By Thanksgiving, Spencer had taken the government job he’d been offered by Justice Barclay’s friends. It felt like a sellout, but he knew he had to do something to keep his mind alive. He couldn’t go on sitting at home, waiting for something to change. Nothing was going to. Elizabeth wasn’t going to let him go, and Crystal had told him she didn’t want him to come back to her in California.

But at least he found that he liked the job, much to his surprise, and by Christmas things were settling down, except that he felt as though part of him had died when he gave up Crystal. It made him plunge into his work, working night and day, and he found that he liked politics more than he had expected.

Washington was exciting and fun, and he would have been happy, were it not for the wasteland of his relationship with Elizabeth. Any hope of establishing a closeness with her had been shattered when he asked her for a divorce. And in the subsequent turmoil, it was obvious
that he didn’t like her and she didn’t trust him. And he felt tied to her now for all the wrong reasons.

She was a lively companion when she wanted to be, she was intelligent and witty and amusing. But their life had changed immeasurably after he told her he didn’t love her. It had been a foolish thing to do, but he had been operating from desperation and raw emotion and the hope he had of marrying Crystal. Elizabeth never mentioned it, but he knew she would always hold it against him. Their early passion was all but forgotten now, and although they had begun to make love again, it was with restraint and regret, and a certain bitterness felt by both. But to those who knew them, they seemed like a happy, fulfilled, well-adjusted couple. They played the game well. And their disappointments with each other were kept private. She was pleased about his job, and to her that was most important. His only contact with Crystal was in darkened theaters now. He had gone to see Crystal’s first film, one night when Elizabeth was working late, and after they got back from Palm Beach, he read that she was due to star in a big movie.

She wasn’t a major star yet, but she was on demand everywhere, and he knew all of the studios who wanted her had to contend with Ernie. She was making a fortune for him and the men he fronted for, which was why he had threatened to kill her if she left him. He had been protecting his investment. The papers said she was due to start her new film in June, and in the meantime, she made news frequently on Ernie’s arm, or with well-known stars Ernie set her up with for the publicity they got her. She appeared in the columns regularly, and her face was known to ever-growing numbers.

She was off to a good start, but Spencer shuddered to think what her life was like with Ernie. It made Spencer
sick to think about it, and more often than not, he tried not to.

And when she started the movie in June, on location in Palm Springs, Spencer was in Boston with his new boss, lining up political connections. There was a young senator they were talking to, and several others they had meetings with before he went back to Washington. Elizabeth quit her job in the fall. She had decided to go to law school. And she was pleased with Spencer. He was doing well, and her father approved. Spencer was doing exactly what she wanted. And that made her a little more friendly toward him. He hadn’t mentioned the divorce again, and she assumed he finally had come to his senses.

And when the phone rang on a cool November afternoon, Elizabeth was still at school, and Spencer had just come in from the office. He hadn’t read the afternoon paper yet, and he hadn’t heard the news. His heart stopped as he picked up the phone and heard jagged sobbing. The operator had put the call through and all he knew was that it was long-distance. But it was several minutes before he heard her voice, and his heart almost stopped when he realized it was Crystal. It had been over a year since he’d seen her.

“Crystal … is that you?”

There was silence at the other end, and only the crackling of the static. For a moment he thought they’d been cut off, and then he heard her again, crying hysterically and saying something he couldn’t understand. He wondered if she was hurt, and he was desperate to find her.

“Where are you? Where are you calling from?” he shouted to no avail, and then he heard her crying again. The only intelligible word she had said so far was his name. The rest was impossible to decipher. He looked at his watch and realized that it was three o’clock in the afternoon in California. “Crystal … listen to me …
try to get a hold on yourself … talk to me. What’s wrong?” Everything, apparently. And he was ready to cry, too, in desperate frustration. “Crystal! Can you hear me?”

“Yes,” it was a low moan as she started to sob again.

“What is it, darling? Where are you?” He had forgotten where he was. All he could think of was the girl on the other end. He wished he could be there to help her, but thank God she had called him. And if that son of a bitch had touched her he was going to kill him.

The crying subsided a little and he heard her take a breath. “Spencer … I need you …” He closed his eyes as he listened, waiting for the rest of it. “I’m in jail.”

His eyes flew open instantly, and his whole body tensed. “For what?”

There was a long pause and a wrenching sob as she almost choked, and then silence again. “For murder.”

He felt the room spin around him as he listened. “Are you serious?” He knew she had to be, as a chill ran through him.

“I didn’t do it. … I swear … someone killed Ernie last night … in Malibu….” She tried to explain the rest to him, but she was still too upset and he couldn’t understand her. Instinctively he grabbed a pencil and started scribbling the little he could understand. She was in the L.A. jail, and they had found his body in the house in Malibu that morning. And then they had come to Beverly Hills and taken her away and booked her for murder.

“Is there any reason why they think it’s you?”

“I don’t know … I don’t know … we had a fight yesterday on the beach … and someone saw us. He hit me,” Spencer winced, almost feeling the blow himself, “and I swung at him, but that’s all it was … and I left him there last night. He said he was expecting friends,
some business associates to talk about a deal. I don’t know who they were.” He was still making notes as he listened.

“Does anyone else?”

“I don’t know.”

“What did you fight about?” He was all lawyer as he scribbled.

“The contract again. I wanted to break it. He’s been loaning me out to studios like a car. He makes all the money, and I was tired of it. He didn’t even let me decide what movies I wanted to make. He was just using me …” She was sobbing again, she had finally understood what he was, but much, much too late. She couldn’t get away from him, and she had already lost Spencer. “I hated him … but I wouldn’t have killed him, Spencer. I swear it.”

“Can you prove it? Did anyone see you in Beverly Hills? Did you go anywhere? Call friends?”

“No. No one. Nothing. I had a terrible headache after he hit me on the beach and I went to bed. The maid was off, and I never saw the driver.” And he knew that was why they had arrested her. She had a motive and no alibi, and no one to corroborate her story. “Spencer,” her voice sounded like a child’s again, “I know I shouldn’t ask you this … you’ll probably tell me to go to hell … but I have no one else to turn to … will you help me?” There was silence on the phone and he heard her blow her nose again. He knew what he had to do. He had known it the moment she’d called him. There was no decision to be made, no choice, he was going out to California.

“I’ll be there tomorrow. I’ll have to find someone to represent you.”