Starting Fires (11 page)

“Yeah…” Lucas agreed. They were quiet for a little while before he spoke again. “But even if I do finally cut her out and she leaves me be, I’m not looking for any type of relationship. I keep thinking I want to, but then something happens that makes me change my mind.”

“I’m not saying you need to get in one,” Wally said, the bed squeaking again, and I imagined him falling back on it, folding his arms behind his head. “Marlowe just wants to have fun and be casual. I think you need that, especially after all the shit you’ve been dealing with the last few years. Don’t let Candace ruin it.”

Lucas didn’t reply. Feeling guilty about listening to them, I decided to leave the door and go to the bathroom. After finishing, I looked in the mirror and noticed that my makeup was smeared under my eyes. Grabbing a face cloth I tried to get rid of it while I thought about what Lucas and Wally had said. I was glad I knew what was going on with Candace and I didn’t have to feel bad about physically wanting him. And he didn’t sound like he wanted a relationship either. Maybe it could be as Lacey suggested—just hanging out, none of the messy stuff. I shrugged at myself in the mirror. Whatever happened, happened. Worrying about it served no purpose.

Lucas and Wally weren’t in his room when I walked past, and as I reached the bottom of the stairs, I realized I hadn’t changed. I was about to go back up when Mia called my name.

“Come here,” she said and waved me over to the kitchen. Charles, Lucas, Candace, and Mia were the only ones in there. Everyone else had piled into the living room. I stopped at the kitchen island and stood in front of her. “Are you dating anyone?” she asked and I bristled. I hated that question. It was usually followed by a very uncomfortable conversation.

A bag of peanut M&M’s was sitting on the counter. I reached in and popped one in my mouth before telling her ‘no’.

“Good,” she said. “I know a great guy who’s also
single
.” She sang that last word and I grinned, despite myself.

Pushing up on the counter behind me, I said, “Not interested.”

She smacked her hand down. “Why not? He’s really funny, and super cute. Also he has a
great
job.”

Candace was watching me hopefully, probably praying that I would say yes, while Lucas was pretending not to watch me. I rolled my tongue around in my mouth. “Pass,” I finally said.

She huffed and was about to try pleading her case again, when Charles broke in. “Save your breath. Marlowe here isn’t dating. Taking a hiatus or some shit.”

“
Hiatus or some shit,
” I said back to him in a mocking voice, not liking that he was making fun of me. He playfully pursed his lips at me.

“Jeez, what is there like a club of you or something?” She threw her thumb at Lucas. “He doesn’t date either.” Candace’s body went ramrod straight and she looked down at her fingers. “Here’s an idea, maybe the two of you can ‘not date’ each other,” she said sarcastically.

I cut my eyes to Lucas. He picked a peanut M&M out of his hands, and brought it to his mouth, the candy resting between his forefinger and thumb. He smiled as his tongue took it, simultaneously winking at me. Grinning, I shook my head and jumped off the counter about to walk into the living room.

In my peripheral, I saw Candace storming over to me. Was she about to hit me? Were we about to get into a verbal argument? I took a breath and turned to face her, ready to take whatever she was going to dish out.

She stopped in front of me, her eyes blazing. She pushed some of her hair behind her ear, and I noticed that she had long nails. Note to self: stay clear of the nails. My stomach was turning over. I didn’t want to do this, but I wasn’t going to run and hide from her either. If she hit me or yelled at me, I suppose I could take it.

At first I thought she was going to walk off, but then through clenched teeth, she said, “I will end your fat ass.”

If she would have just said, ‘
I will end your ass
’ or even ‘
I will end you, bitch
’, I’m sure my reaction would have been different, but adding the “
fat
” onto it was completely unnecessary. I felt pathetic because I couldn’t think of anything to say back, so I just stood there looking at her, mouth agape.

“Please. You wish you had her ass,” Nicole said. I looked over and saw that she was now standing next to me, Lacey on the other side.

“Candace!” Lucas said sternly. “You need to leave.”

She grabbed her purse off the counter and marched out of the house. Mia blew out a breath of air. “Sorry, Marlowe. That was my fault.” She turned towards her brother. “You should talk to her before we go. That was ridiculous.” Lucas ran a hand through his hair in frustration, but nodded his head and went after her.

Ignoring everyone, I went into the living room and sat on the couch with my back to the arm, my legs stretched out in front of me. Ian and Wally were oblivious to the whole ordeal, focused intently on the video game in front of them. I watched as they ran around buildings and shot at people. A few minutes later Charles came in and kissed me on the top of my head. “Don’t let her get to you. Bitch be crazy,” he whispered softly.

Bitch be crazy
had never been spoken with more heartfelt sincerity. I chuckled and nodded at him. He took a seat in the empty recliner and asked to play the next game.

While I watched them, I thought about everything. I liked Lucas, but I barely knew him. Though, I
wanted
to get to know him. Physically, he was everything I could ever want. Being around him gave me butterflies. We were both in a similar situation, wanting to move on with our lives, but not quite ready to jump into a relationship. I think he would understand my desire to keep things simple and casual. It had been seven months since I’d dated, and I was fine with being single, but it would be nice to have someone around. He was like a stepping-stone to repairing my battered and bruised heart.

I’d be using him, but he’d be using me, too. We’d be each other’s means to an end.
If
it worked. If it didn’t I could just walk away. There would be no break up, no need to have long discussions about where things went wrong or how we could fix it. As long as I didn’t have to deal with Candace being in my face all the time, I was fine with that. Maybe he was outside having the talk with her right now—completely ending it as Wally suggested.

Two arms grabbed me around the waist and lifted me up, breaking my thoughts. A body came under me and placed me back down into their lap. Lucas placed a hand on my leg and the other on the side of my neck. He brought my ear to his mouth. “Your ass is perfect,” he whispered.

“Thank you,” I smiled and nestled into him, forgetting everything else. He draped his arm along the couch and I rested my head onto his shoulder, breathing in his scent—which currently had a hint of chlorine, but it reminded me of our volleyball game. After a few minutes, Nicole brought me my phone and told me that it kept dinging and that they were leaving. She gave me a cheeky smile as she eyed Lucas’ hand idly rubbing my leg while he watched the TV. I told them bye and checked my phone. The messages were from Juanita. I didn’t have her number in my phone, but I knew it was her because it said.

Hey, this is Juanita.

Next message:

Just wanted to let you know that yourdad and I are gonig to be going out of town durign Thaknsgivng.

Next message:

Srry, we couldn’t get together like we talked about. Mabye for Chrstmas?Talk to you ssoon.-Jaunita.

Ugh. She couldn’t even spell her own name right. And they were already making plans for Thanksgiving? It wasn’t even October. My fingers lingered over the keys, trying to decide if I wanted to reply. I wasn’t even planning to go to see them on Thanksgiving, and after what I’d said to her, I was surprised she approached me at all.

Eventually, I settled with
K
and put my phone back in my lap. Lucas reached down and picked it up. Without saying anything, he unlocked it and went to my contact list, adding his name and number. Rubbing my back, he called himself, waited until his own phone started vibrating in his pocket, and then placed it back where I had it.

Lucas didn’t ask for my number, he straight up took it. My body starting shaking with silent laughter as I took one arm and wrapped it around his back, hugging him to me. Lucas squeezed my thigh, just below my ass, and told the guys he had next game.

Charles died on the screen. “Man, Ian. What the hell?” he yelled, throwing the controller in our direction. It landed by my feet, and Lucas reached over to grab it.

He sat up and leaned over my legs as he started playing. It sort of felt like I was in the way. “Do you need me to move?” I asked him.

“Absolutely not,” he told me. Even though I was ignored, I liked sitting like this with him, so I was glad he didn’t want me to. After he died, he tossed the controller over to Wally. I noticed that Ian was the only one who never passed his controller and figured out that he was the reigning champion. Everyone else was trying to dethrone him.

After watching them play for a while, I felt my eyelids start to droop, and told them that I was going to bed. I went up the stairs alone and walked into my room alone. I stood in front of my nightstand and stretched high into the sky.

“Hey,” I heard over my shoulder. It was Lucas. As I turned towards him, he stepped in and shut the door. “I’m sorry about today,” he said.

I sat down on the edge of my bed. “What specifically?” I asked, needing to know what I was supposed to be forgiving him for.

“Candace. I talked to her. I never intended to drag you through all of my mess.”

“You didn’t invite her over here,” I said. “But thanks for the apology.”

He sat down next to me and let out an exasperated sigh. “I just want you to know that I’m not trying to hide a girlfriend away somewhere. I mean she wasn’t my girlfriend back when you thought she was. And it’s definitely not what you think with Kate. At all.” He cut his hand forcefully, like that would never happen in a million years.

I refrained from asking why she’d been at his house—even though I wanted to. If I wasn’t looking for commitment, I didn’t have a right to know. “Okay,” I said.

“We good?” he asked, and I nodded. “Then come here.”

He reached for me and pulled me into his lap. My bed was low enough that his feet were on the floor. Mine were wrapped around his waist, resting against the bed. There was no drawn out waiting for our lips to touch. As soon as I settled, I cradled his face and brought my mouth down to his. His hands slid up my waist and back as our lips moved. I ran my hands into his hair and turned his head, softly pushing my tongue into his mouth. He pulled my hips into his and I sighed.

His fingers grazed my stomach, and they went higher and higher until they ghosted over my breast. With the thin fabric of my bikini, I could almost imagine that he was touching it skin to skin, and then he pushed the top aside and palmed it in his hand, gently squeezing. I shuddered and rolled my hips, feeling him easily through his swim trunks. His other hand went to my ass and every time he put pressure on it, his fingers nearly touched me between my legs.

Abruptly, he stood with my legs still around him and pushed me into the closed bathroom door. The jarring sensation pulled our mouths apart, and in the dim light of my desk lamp, I saw that he was trying to control himself. He was asking me if I wanted this to go further. I wasn’t sure. What would happen tomorrow? Would we be just a one-night stand? Or a regular thing? I’d never had a one-night stand, and wasn’t necessarily eager to add that to my belt. I needed more time to process all of this.

I lowered my legs at the same time he brought his mouth back to mine, this time kissing me slower. More mouth than tongue. Once our breath evened out a bit, he gruffly said, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” then stepped away from me and walked through my door. I stood there for a moment after he’d gone, letting my pulse return to normal. After I took a shower, I got into bed and tried to drift off to sleep. My phone vibrated with a new text message, and I pulled it off my nightstand.

It was from Lucas.

Night Marzy,
was all it said, but I still smiled from ear to ear.

Night Lucas,
I replied and snuggled into my pillow.

 

Chapter 10

L
ucas didn’t call
me the next day, or even send a text. I wondered why he hadn’t, but didn’t dwell on it, busying myself with homework instead.

The following afternoon, I realized that our refrigerator was bare, and I went grocery shopping. It would be a nice surprise for my roommates. Charles was busy at work, and barely had time to do anything else. I had no idea where Wally ventured off to all day. I knew he worked at a video game store, but only part time. Where he was the rest of the day, who knew? I didn’t even think he owned a car.

At the store, I bought tons of easy food for the guys to make, drinks, cereal, all the kitchen necessities, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and paper towels. My jeep was loaded to the max. As I pulled into my drive, Lucas’ garage door was going up. He strolled out, dangling his keys in his hand. Noticing me, he waved, so I waved back before unloading my car. I put some bags on the kitchen counter and was going to retrieve the rest when Lucas came strolling in, a ton of plastic bags going down his arms.

“Is that everything?” I asked him with surprise.

With a grunt, he pulled them all up onto the island. “There were two in the front seat I couldn’t get.”

I went out for them and returned to find him already unloading bags and putting food away. “Thank you. That would have taken me so much longer.”

“It’s no problem.” He came and stood next to me, helping me unload. We maneuvered around the kitchen in silence, and I realized that he knew his way around it better than I did. As I was unloading the last bag, he came up beside me, putting an elbow against the island. “Where are your roommates?”

“Charles is working, and Wally is… wherever Wally goes. I haven’t the slightest idea.”

He chuckled and placed a hand against the small of my back, rubbing it back and forth, curling his finger under the waist of my pants. I loved it and turned towards him. His hand flattened out and ran against my back with the movement. My hands scanned his chest and slowly made their way around to his shoulders then all the way down until they rested on the belt of his jeans. Nothing between us had been decided, but I wanted him to know that I was interested.

He leaned down and kissed me softly, pulling away sooner than I would have liked. “I gotta go to the bar,” he said. “I’ll call you later.” Before I could respond, he popped me on the ass and laughed when I jerked. As I watched him walk out of my house, I wondered if this some kind of game? Well, whatever—I wasn’t playing.

It was already dark when Wally and Charles came in together. I made them dinner and then went up to my room for more homework. When my eyes were too tired to continue, I pushed the covers back and got under them, my schoolbooks still scattered across the bed. I checked the time on my phone and saw that I had a new text message.

It was from Lucas, and it was over an hour and a half old.

You up?

My fingers hovered over the keyboard as I tried to decide how and if I would respond. Finally, I said,
Nope,
and turned off my desk lamp.

A minute later, my phone vibrated.

Liar.

I smiled.
I’ll have you know, sir, I am under the covers and in my pajamas. Definitely not “up.”

He didn’t respond. I’d decided to stop waiting and was nearly asleep when my phone buzzed again. With too much eagerness, I grabbed it. Another message.

I can’t sleep. Tell me something about yourself.

I racked my brain trying to come up with something interesting, settling for
My favorite movie is The Princess Bride. Yours?

“As you wish”. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

I wondered what specifically he liked about it, because that movie was crazy as hell.

I felt my phone buzz again,
If you could visit any place in the world, where would you go?

That one was tough,
Greece. I think. Might need more time to contemplate.

Over the next hour, my phone kept going off with texts from Lucas. I told him everything from my favorite food to my favorite band. He told everything from his favorite author to his favorite color. Red. For some reason I’d figured him a
green
sort of guy.

When I finally fell asleep, my phone was still clutched in my hand.

For the rest of the week, we texted each other constantly, asking random questions, but nothing serious. He asked me if I had any siblings, and I told him that I had a sister, but didn’t talk about her death. It felt too serious, and I wasn’t ready to share that part of me. His only sibling was Mia and she had just turned 21. Our birthdays were five days apart at the end of April—him turning 30 the week after I would turn 27.

If we saw each other, it was only in passing—in our driveways or when he was hanging out with Charles or Wally. I was usually busy with schoolwork and didn’t go out of my way to engage him. But on Friday night, I had finished all my homework and was free for the weekend. I called Lacey and Nicole and told them to meet me at Lucas’ bar. Charles agreed to be the designated driver and he, Wally, and I piled into my Jeep to head there before their show.

It was around eight when we arrived. On Fridays, they played for an hour, and Mondays for thirty minutes. It was true that they only did it for fun, they weren’t even being paid, but Lucas
did
let them have a free bar tab those nights.

I didn’t see Lucas, but didn’t look for him either, figuring he’d come find me if he wanted to. Lacey and Nicole were already there, sitting at a table with Ian and a cute guy I didn’t recognize. Charles and Wally left to mingle while I pushed my way through the maze of tables. I huffed and sat down in the empty chair across from the unknown guy. Nicole and Lacey walked over to give me hugs.

“This is my cousin Michael,” Nicole said. “Michael, this is Marlowe.”

I smiled at him and he gave me a little wave. Michael and I were sitting at one end of the table, Lacey was at the head, and Nicole and Ian were turned towards her while they talked, putting their backs to Michael and I. Pretty soon their conversation booted us out.

I looked at him and shrugged. Charles walked by, placing a draft beer in front of me, and then walked to a table across from us. Wally and Lucas were there, too. A girl with long, blonde hair was sitting next to Lucas, and I couldn’t be sure, but I thought her hand might be on his leg.

From my seat, Lucas and I were facing each other, but so far, he hadn’t made eye contact with me—either because he didn’t know I was here, or he was purposefully doing it. When he put his arm around the back of her chair and leaned in to show her something on his phone my eyes narrowed. He could be a serial dater all he wanted, but I wasn’t going to be part of his “harem.” Apparently, his hiatus from other girls had ended. Maybe it was because he thought I was a sure thing. Well, I had news for him.

The girl laughed at something and he grinned. Still smiling, his eyes drifted up and found mine. I looked at him for only a moment before turning to Michael. He was watching the people around the bar, and while he was distracted, I analyzed his features. His dark hair fell just above his ears in a wave. In the dim light of the bar, I couldn’t be sure what color his eyes were, but they might have been green. His features were the kind that didn’t immediately pull you in. They were more of subtle draw.

“Well,” I said to him with a smile. “We might as well talk about something.”

His shoulders jumped in slight chuckle. “Yeah, we’ve been backed.”

“Don’t you hate that?” I leaned across the table and pointed my finger in our friend’s direction. “It doesn’t matter if it’s three people or fifteen, I seem to always get backed.”

He chuckled again, but then we both fell silent. He started reading the label of the beer bottle in his hands. This was absolutely no fun. I had nothing to do for the whole weekend, and wanted to celebrate. “Let’s do a shot,” I said and stood from the table.

He look dumbfounded for a moment but stood, too. “Uh, sure,” he said. We walked towards the bar, and once the shots were in hand, clinked them before tipping them back.

“I needed that,” he said.

“Again?” I asked. He smirked, nodding his head with eagerness.

We ended up sitting at the bar over the next hour, and I learned that his girlfriend had just broken up with him. Nicole dragged him out because she’d said that he needed to stop moping. In fact, all he could talk about was his ex-girlfriend, but I didn’t mind. I was able to sympathize with him, and he let me interject with my own comments and even asked me questions about myself.

As the guys started playing, he walked towards the stage and I followed. Even though I was aggravated with him, Lucas was still godly in his stage presence, and I felt my knees get weak every time his voice strained as he gripped the microphone. He spotted me in the audience and smiled, making me feel warm all over. As he carried out a long note, his eyes held mine. Jokingly, I put a hand to my forehead as if I was fainting. His smile stretched wide as he continued to sing.

On their last song, I noticed that his eyes kept drifting to one corner of the audience. Following his gaze, I noticed the blonde that had been sitting next to him. It was obvious by her facial expression that she was in utter awe and her panties were about to incinerate.

I looked back at him and watched him give her a sexy smile. My stomach fell and I felt a sting of jealousy. I started thinking of ways I could get his attention back to me, but then realized how fucking stupid that was. I shouldn’t have to compete to hold his attention. Either I had it or I didn’t. And if I didn’t, his loss. During my internal struggle, he looked back at me. To show him that I was completely unfazed by his actions, I smiled. Their song finished and the crowd cheered. As soon as he jumped off the stage, the blonde went straight to him, wrapping her arms around his middle. His hand touched her shoulder and I turned away.

Michael walked back to the bar with me. “They’re pretty good,” he said.

“Yeah. The drummer and bass player are my roommates,” I told him feeling proud.

“You live with two guys? Are you, uh, dating one of them?”

I rolled my eyes, not hiding that the question irked me. “No, and I’m not sleeping with them either. We’re just friends.”

He nodded his head and smiled. “Good,” he said as we sat.

We continued to talk as we drank and I ended up liking his company. He was easy to share things with and seemed genuinely interested in the things I had to say.

After we were nice and drunk, he grabbed my hand, leading me to the dance floor.

“What are you doing?” I asked, in surprise. I dabbled in dancing, but mostly looked like a big goof. Zydeco music was playing. I had no idea how to dance to Zydeco.

“Trust me,” he said. “All you have to do is follow me.”

“Follow you where? I don’t dance, Michael. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“It’ll be easy.”

On the dance floor, he jerked my body away from him. I twirled and then he pulled me back to his chest. I knew the move looked good, and I hadn’t done a thing to make it that way. “Don’t blame me if I step on your toes,” I said. He smiled and brought one of my hands to his shoulder, grasping the other. He placed a hand at my waist and started moving to the music. Terrified, I held his eyes.

“Relax, Marlowe,” he laughed. “Just let your body move to the music.” I looked down at his lower half and tried to make my hips move the way his were. Soon, we were dancing around the floor in perfect harmony.

“I’m going to spin you now,” he said. I nodded quickly, scared and excited.

He flicked me away from him, spinning me in a circle, and then pulled me back. Without warning, he flung me again, stretching our arms all the way out and then made a little circle with his finger, telling me to spin back. I did and landed on his chest with a thump. Realizing how fun it had been, I threw my head back and laughed. “More!” I gleefully cheered.

Throughout the song, he led me around the dance floor, spinning me, dipping me, and shimmying me around. Just as it was nearing the end, he spun me again, pulling me back to his chest on the last beat of the drum. It was perfect timing.

People cheered around us and I was smiling from ear to ear. Our breathing was heavy, and our chests were rising and falling in exertion. I realized that our hands were still wrapped around each other’s bodies and our faces were extremely close. Something lingered behind his eyes. Something that I knew wasn’t behind mine.

“Thank you,” I said and stepped away from him. “That was so much fun.”

“It was,” he grinned.

To get away from the situation, I went to the bathroom. After I finished washing my hands, I checked my phone. It was after 1 a.m. and I realized that I should probably head home. As I came back out, I found Charles sitting at a table with everyone—including Michael and the blonde.

“We’re all leaving,” he said.

I nodded and followed them out the back exit. For a moment, we stood in the parking lot, and I realized that the blonde was standing next to Lucas. Was she coming home with us, too? If she did, he would never lay another hand on me. Sensing my stare, he looked at me and worked his lip between his teeth.