Starting Fires (13 page)

“Stop calling me that!”

“Why? You can’t expect me to throw away years of a relationship because you decided it was over!”

“You broke up with me,” I reminded him. “You didn’t want
me
!”

“That’s not true,” he said, sounding completely sincere. “I was confused about things, but then I realized that I wanted to work on us.”

“No you wanted to belittle me and make me feel like shit all the time. You wanted to do whatever you wanted and bang my best friend.”

He had been shaking his head like that was crazy talk until I said the last bit. Realizing, he stilled and tried hard not to give anything away. Once he had it under control, he laughed nervously. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Sam told me everything,” I said. “But guess what? I’m glad you did. I’m glad you slept with her in my bed and on my couch. I’m glad you screwed her on my kitchen counter and on the living room floor, because it helped me realize what shit you are. So I’m fine with it. You don’t have to apologize.” My words had sounded sympathetic, despite their harshness.

He walked towards me but I didn’t move, because I wasn’t afraid of him or his words. Glancing around the yard, I realized we’d garnered a small crowd. Charles was standing off to the side, and I was glad Mark hadn’t recognized him yet. As he reached me, there was so much anger in his eyes. It was strange that they’d once looked at me with so much love. A year ago, that would have hurt me. Today, I didn’t care. I only wanted him to be a distant memory. Some mistake I could learn from. A regret to ponder on sleepless nights.

“Fuck you,” he spat.

I didn’t even flinch. Finally, when I realized he was waiting on me to say something, I only shrugged.

“I loved you!” He bellowed. “How could you just leave like that? Take off without a word? How could just abandon everything that happened between us?”

“YOU
LOVED
ME? If that was love, I never want to feel it again!”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes I do.”

“We were good together and you know it.”

“We were good for a while and then we weren’t.”

He took a big, dramatic sigh, running his fingers through his hair. I was done with this. I’d said what I needed to say. Looking around the crowd of people, I noticed that Lucas was no longer standing behind me. He was leaning against the house, his arms crossed over his chest. What we were was different and I had no idea how to describe it. But I knew that right now I wanted to be standing next to him, wrapped up in his arms somewhere, not out in my yard arguing pointlessly with an ex-boyfriend.

We’d been staring at each other for a few seconds. He looked tense. I felt tense. Without saying another word to Mark, I walked over to Lucas. I placed my hands on his stomach and looked up at him. “Can we leave?”

“Yeah, baby,” he said softly and stepped away from the wall. As we walked through the house, he kept his hand protectively against my back. Outside, he led me to his Buick.

“Should you be driving?” I asked.

“I barely drank all night. Just that little bit when I was playing quarters with you.”

I thought back on it, trying to remember if I’d seen a beer in his hands. I guess I hadn’t, but there was a red cup with him most of the night. “What was in the cup?”

“Coke.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” he laughed. “Want me to do a field sobriety test?”

I eyed him over the hood of the car. “I don’t think you’d lie to me.”

“Never,” he grinned. “Now come on.”

As we pulled out of Lucas’ driveway, Mark came running out of the house looking for us. I didn’t turn around or even look in the rearview mirror. But Lucas did. His hand gripped the steering wheel as he eyed him.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” I said. “Well, I’m sorry everybody had to see that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said as we turned out of the neighborhood. “Shit needed to happen.” There was a long pause before he said, “You’re okay with it?”

“Yeah. I just didn’t expect it. It caught me off guard. And I definitely wouldn’t have wanted it to happen in front of all those people, but I’m fine.”

“Good,” he said.

As we drove, I thought about Mark. I hoped he wouldn’t be at my house when I returned. I also hoped that it wouldn’t slip that I was living there now. Maybe I should text Charles and tell him to lie for me. As I pulled out my phone, I felt the car hit gravel and looked out of the window. “Where are we going?”

“This is my family’s land. I’m taking you out to a pond we have. It’s the first place I thought of. Hope that’s alright.”

“Sounds good,” I said while I texted Bear. I found out that shortly after I left, Mark noticed my Jeep in the driveway and decided that he was going to wait for me to return. Charles had stepped in and told him that he’d bought it from me. Awesome lie. I could have kissed him. He was talking to him right now, trying to get him to leave. I thanked him and put my phone back in my purse.

Lucas turned down a road that had fields on either side with trees scattered throughout them. In the distance, I could see the moonlight reflecting off a body of water. The makeshift road turned and weaved through the field until we stopped with his car parallel to the water, my side closest to it. I stepped onto the grass and saw a dock stretching out into the pond.

Out here, the stars shone brightly, and the light breeze made my hair dance. I watched the water ripple while the frogs and crickets sang. It was so peaceful. Lucas walked over and stood next to me.

“It’s beautiful,” I said.

“Yeah, I used to come out here all the time. Helped me relax.”

“I can see why. I don’t ever want to leave.”

He chuckled and leaned up against the car. I walked towards the water and closed my eyes, taking in a breath. I’d been to ponds that smelled like rotten plant and sticky mud, but this one had a pleasant aroma. Earth, grass, and cool water filled my senses. Done surveying the beauty in front of me, I looked back at Lucas. He was still leaning against the car, his hands in his pockets, looking up at the stars.

I stood beside him and looked up too. I felt silly in my Halloween costume. Especially, since he wasn’t wearing one. “I should have changed,” I said. “I feel ridiculous.”

“Mmm,” he said.

“But I guess we didn’t really have the time.”

“Yeah.” His short responses were bugging me. Something was bothering him, but I felt uncomfortable asking him what it was. Maybe it was Mark. Maybe he didn’t like having to leave the party. Maybe it was nothing.

Whatever it was, I was grateful that he’d taken me away from the house. And relieved that I didn’t have to deal with Mark anymore. Instead of telling him, I decided to show him. Moving in front of him, I rested my body close to his. He placed his hands on my hips but didn’t stop looking at the stars. Softly, I started trailing kisses along his neck, across his Adam’s apple, under his jaw, and by his collarbone. His neck stretched to give me better access, his hands roamed my back, his soft moans and sighs were all clear indications that he didn’t want me to stop.

When he reached his hands under my short dress to squeeze my ass, I decided that I was ready to take this to the next level. I wanted more than just kisses. I wanted more than occasional groping. I needed something stronger from him. Stepping away, I took his wrist and led him over to the back door. After I opened it and sat down on the seat, I grabbed his hips, pulling him towards me. He was standing outside, looking down at me as my fingers went to his belt. Deliberately, I looked up at him, never taking my eyes from his as I pulled the buckle open and unzipped his pants.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked hoarsely.

His question and eyes were in complete odds with each other. He was trying to give me an out. As sweet as that was, I didn’t need it. My mind was made up. Without responding, I pushed his pants and boxers down, releasing him.

He gripped the door as I ran my hand up and down the length of his dick. Bracing my fingers on his hip, I kissed the side of his shaft. He took a shaky inhale and was going to great lengths to keep from touching me. He’d reach for my head, but pull back at the last second, letting me set the pace, not pushing one way or the other. Slowly, I started pumping back and forth along his length, kissing and licking the spaces my hand didn’t occupy.

“You’ve been drinking,” he said breathlessly. “I don’t want you to-” His next words were swallowed on a choking moan as I closed my lips around the head. As I moved my mouth, he brought his hands to his face, covering his mouth and then ran them to the back of his head. His hips were jutting out, pushing towards me. Despite his protests, he wanted this.

When I opened my mouth wider, taking more of him in, he let his head fall back. “Damn,” he muttered. I was on the edge of the seat and was having to stretch my neck uncomfortably. Both of my hands went to his stomach and I pulled him by the shirt to bring him closer to me.

He shuffled forward and was now resting over the top of the car. I couldn’t see his face and for some reason that was liberating. I had never had much practice in this area, so while I couldn’t see him, I experimented with my tongue and mouth. I’d take him in as deep as I could. Then flatten my tongue and come back again. His soft moans and sighs filled my ears. Deciding to try something different, I used my hand
and
mouth, sucking and stroking in unison. After only a few seconds, I heard his fist pound on the roof of the car. Taking that as a good sign, I continued. I was going faster and faster, and soon he was reactively thrusting his hips into my mouth.

One of his hands reached into the car and gently threaded through my hair. His fingers massaged my head as he rocked. The touch made me feel warm and needy, and I started moaning. He leaned back to see me, and I could tell that it was uncomfortable, so I scooted on the seat to stretch my neck again.

My hand went to his stomach, steadying myself as he started thrusting more frantically. One of his hands was still at my head, the other gripped mine on his abdomen. “Shit, Marzy,” he gritted out. I looked up to him and we watched each other—our eyes locked as he used my mouth.

Abruptly, he pulled out and turned away from me. I watched his back as his hand went to his dick. After a few quick jerks, he was struggling for breath and moaning deeply. When he turned back around, he was back in his pants, but his belt was still undone. Fierceness enveloped his eyes. With determination, he walked over to me and grabbed me under my arms.

Before I even knew what was happening, I was sitting over the trunk of his car. His hands went under my skirt and he yanked my panties down, throwing them into the backseat. I could feel my frantic breaths, my chest rising and falling quickly. He stood between my legs and brought his mouth to mine. Our lips met in a rushed need. Sloppy and chaotic. I felt his fingers ghost over my entrance and I shuddered, pulling his face closer to me.

He pushed his middle finger inside and I released his mouth, but kept my face close to his. His finger starting thrusting and I gripped his neck. Our lips were close, but no longer kissing, only hovering over one another. “Please,” I begged and his jaw went tight. He forcefully added another finger, and pulled me closer to the edge of the trunk.

The burning between my legs was exquisite, and I whined into his mouth. I
whined
. He started moving faster, curling his fingers and adding his thumb to the outside. I hooked my legs around his waist, and started rolling my hips with his hand.

The contrast of the cool metal against my ass and the heat between my legs was electrifying. I threw my head back as I struggled for air. When he started kissing my neck, I raked my nails gently down his head. His mouth moved to the top of my breasts, and I wished this corset wasn’t so tight and complicated. I wanted to rip it from my body.

He raised his head and grabbed the back of mine, looking directly into my eyes. He was still thrusting. I was still rolling my hips. A demand shown behind his eyes, he didn’t need words for me to see it. I knew what he wanted from me. I stared into his face and felt everything. I recalled every time we’d kissed on my bed and I’d fantasized about this moment. I imagined him pounding into me with his dick instead of his fingers. I imagined how explosive it would be the first time he entered me.

He curled his fingers and hit the exact spot for me to give him what he wanted. Noticing the change in my breathing, he kept up the movement. Before long, I felt my body bucking, my legs shaking, my inhales sharp and quick. I moved my hands all over him, trying to grip something that would help carry me through my orgasm. They settled on his shoulders and I buried my head in his neck as I continued to shudder.

After my breath returned to normal, he pulled out of me and kissed the side of my head. We sat like that for what felt like five minutes before he gripped my thigh and whispered, “Someone’s coming.”

I jerked and looked over my shoulder. The headlights of another car were coming down the road that led to the pond. “Who is it?” I asked in a rush.

The car approached before he could answer and I hopped down from the trunk. It pulled up next to us and two older men got out.

“Lucas is that you?” the driver asked.

“Yeah. Hey, dad.”