Starting Fires (20 page)

It was amazing—more so because he obviously loved it as much as I did. As he started sucking, my breath hitched. Part of me wanted to finish this way, but we didn’t have much time and I needed him inside me. Abruptly, I pulled away and pushed his shoulders, telling him to fall back on the bed.

He did, scooting up towards the pillows and undoing his jeans. I didn’t bother taking off my bra or shirt and he didn’t bother with his clothes either, only pushing his pants down far enough to free his dick.

I straddled his hips, and held him at my entrance as I slid down. Our breaths were quick and strained as I settled. When I started moving, I pushed his shirt up and braced my hands against his chest. Lucas gripped my waist and watched me above him. Our thrusts were fast and deep, perfectly synchronized.

In the quiet house, the rhythmic sound of the bed squeaking gave away what we were doing. Even though we were alone, I felt embarrassed. Someone could walk inside at any second. I started slowing down, but every time I moved, the bed creaked.

Noticing my discomfort, Lucas breathlessly said, “Sit up straight.” I did and he maneuvered my legs until I was elevated above him. His hands held me at the hips, keeping me in place, as he slowly pushed in and out of me. With his gentle movements, the noise stopped.

His head fell back on a groan and I matched it, feeling every inch of him. Each time his hips came up, my whole body tingled, overwhelming pleasure shooting through when he was fully inside. My gasps and breathy encouragements had him gripping my waist forcefully.

“Goddamn it,” he breathed still slowly pumping. After a moment, he propped his head on some pillows so he could watch me. I tried to imagine what he saw. My shirt was open, my black bra still in place. My lips were parted as I panted with his movements.

When his jaw tightened, I knew he liked it, and I held his wrists as he started moving faster. We stared in each other’s eyes as I felt it coming. He knew it too. My face must have changed, my breathing must have become more erratic. Because, abruptly, he sat up and wrapped my legs around him. The sound of the bed forgotten, he started slamming me down onto him. I struggled to keep in the cries as his strong arms used my body to fuck him.

One of his hands came to the nape of my neck, and he gave me a squeeze. “Hurry, baby,” he said through clenched teeth. “I’m about to…”

Just hearing that made my eyes heavy and I moaned, bringing my mouth to his. By the sound of his breathing, I could tell he was barely holding on. “I love it, Lucas,” I whispered and felt my body react to the truth in my words. Tingles and heat spread throughout me and I clenched around him.

His choking groans rang in my ears as I started shuddering on top of him. When he came, the grip he had on me became almost painful. To stifle our loud moans we used each other’s mouths, and once finished, fell back on the bed, still joined.

As my breathing slowed, I realized the house was quiet and we were still alone. He gave me a squeeze before turning my face to his and nuzzling my nose. Smiling against my mouth, he rolled me over to my back, cradling my cheek as he said, “Hell of a Christmas present, Marzy.”

My giggle was small, but then grew louder, turning into a full on belly laugh. Embarrassed by my outburst, I turned my head into the pillow and could hear him chuckling while he placed kisses to my shoulder.

After I composed myself, we righted our clothes and I went to the bathroom. Everyone had been outside when I went in, but as I started to open the bathroom door, I could hear voices across the house. Feeling embarrassed that we’d just had sex in his childhood room, thinking that somehow everyone would know, I slowly turned the knob, soundlessly opening the door, trying not to draw attention to myself.

It sounded as if everyone was gathered in the kitchen and I took a breath. Knowing I couldn’t stay in the hallway forever, I was about to move in that direction when I heard Mia’s voice down the hall. “So is she your girlfriend or what?”

Light poured out of a crack in a door and I moved towards it. “No, she isn’t,” Lucas said.

“Well, you act like she is. So I don’t get what you’re doing.”

“Why do people have to put labels on shit? Whatever we are is working out fine. Why would I want to mess it up by making her my girlfriend?”

“I don’t understand the two of you,” she sighed.

“Yeah, well you don’t have to.”

After that, I walked away. Partly because I didn’t want to be caught eavesdropping, but also because I didn’t understand us either. Even though we weren’t technically dating, we might as well be. He’d told me he wasn’t with anyone else, and neither was I. What exactly
were
we doing?

If I thought about it, right now everything seemed so perfect. We didn’t fight or smother one another. Everything between us was still exciting and new. Would that change if we started dating? Would he suddenly want to know where I was going all the time? Would I get upset when he didn’t answer my phone calls? Would we argue and bicker until we couldn’t stand the sight of each other?

In my experience with relationships, I’d found that eventually all the love faded away and you were left with only pieces. When I thought back to Mark, our love used to be this big, full, overflowing power. But as time when on, I could have held it in my hands and watched it crumble between my fingers. I couldn’t watch something I’d nurtured and built break apart again.

Making it to the kitchen, I was pleased to know that the Wilsons were leaving. They were giving promises to get together again soon. Mia and Lucas came in and said their goodbyes, too. Candace’s arms lingered around his waist, but he pulled away to talk to her dad.

Since it was late, we left shortly after. The hugs I received were so genuine, I could have cried. Especially, when Helen wrapped her arms around me. She didn’t even remind me of my own mom—not in the way she looked or acted, but she was the epitome of motherhood.

She saw the tears in my eyes when she released me. “Sweetie, you are welcome in this house any time,” she said quietly. “And you remember what I told you.” I nodded and held the tears back.

Lucas came up to me and rubbed my shoulder. “You ready to go, baby?” he said. Realizing that he hadn’t censored himself, I looked at his family, but they were acting as if they hadn’t heard anything strange. Apparently, they’d accepted us for whatever we were. Well, except for Mia.

She rolled her eyes.

 

Chapter 18

A
few days after
Christmas, Lucas fired Tammy. One night she didn’t show up or bother calling. Once he tracked her down, he found that she was fine, only insanely drunk. Since he was planning to hire a new bartender, it wasn’t a huge problem, but it meant that we wouldn’t be spending hardly any time together until the position was filled.

That Saturday I was at his bar and had just finished balancing his books. Since he was meeting with potential employees all day, he didn’t dress in his usual attire of jeans and a t-shirt, but wore gray slacks and a cream-colored dress shirt with light pink pinstripes. No tie. The sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Even though I knew he’d be occupied, I chose to ride with him, just for the small moments we’d have in between his interviews.

While waiting for the last applicant to arrive, we sat at the bar, his hand resting on my thigh and his elbow propped up on the counter. Spiderman was playing, and we watched with rapt attention.

As I took a long swig of Coke, the straw started sucking air. Idly, Lucas rubbed my leg and, without me asking, moved to get up with the intention of making me a new drink. “Let me do it,” I said and rose from my seat.

Making a show of it, I lifted the bar
trap as I’d seen him do s
o many times, and sauntered over to the glasses. While breaking up some of the ice, I spun a new glass in my hand, smiling at him. He watched me with amusement as I scooped the ice in and brought the dispenser to it.

“Think you could handle it?” he asked.

Realizing that he was talking about bartending, I said, “By myself? Absolutely not. I would probably get every drink order wrong, and you’d have some seriously pissed off customers. They might never even come back.”

He smiled. “You’d be surprised by the amount of people who would love for
you
to serve them the wrong drinks.”

“Thank you,” I chuckled and took his glass to fill it too. “But I think you’re a little biased.”

“And why is that?” he asked flirtatiously.

While I was thinking of how to respond, the front door opened and a woman walked in. Despite it being December, she was wearing a short black skirt and a tight, sleeveless, low-cut top. Her heels clicked as she strutted towards us. “I’m Gwen,” she said and squinted her eyes at Lucas. “I think I might have talked to you on the phone earlier. Lucas?”

“That’s me,” he smiled and reached out to shake her hand. Very daintily, she held his fingers. Up close, I realized that she was beautiful. Long, stunning, deep brown hair. Exotic features, and I guessed that she was from somewhere in the Pacific Islands. Her smile was sultry, but not deliberate. She probably didn’t know how to do it any other way. Realizing she was still holding Lucas’ hand, I decided that it was time for her to let go.

“I’m Marlowe,” I said with friendliness and reached across the bar.

She turned towards me. “Nice to meet you. Are you one of the other bartenders?”

“Nah,” Lucas told her with a relaxed smile. “Marzy just keeps my books.”

For some reason that bothered me.
Just
keeps his books—as if I was nothing else to him. I wanted to add,
And fucks him every night
, but shut it down. I was being ridiculous for no reason.

Instead of taking her to his office, he led her to a table at the far end of the bar. To keep from watching every interaction between them, I walked back to my seat and tried to finish Spiderman.

Their laughter rang out periodically, and every time I heard her sexy giggle I inhaled long and hard. Other girls had made me feel jealous, but not to this level. Previously, I was able to brush it off, or erect a few walls to block my emotions, but it was getting harder. And I had no idea how to handle it.

After talking with her, he brought her back to the bar so she could show him her skills, and I realized that he hadn’t done this with any of the others. Maybe he wanted to hire her. As she effortlessly maneuvered around and successfully made everything he asked, I knew he should. She was good. And pretty. And pretty bartenders brought in customers. It sucked that I felt intimidated, but having her working at Burns would lessen Lucas’ stress.

He asked her to make an Old Fashioned and playfully narrowed his eyes as she effortlessly made the drink. Slowly, he grabbed it and took a sip. “That’s damn good,” he said with surprise. “You ever had one?” he asked me. I shook my head and he handed it to me. “Well, this is how they
should
be made. Try it.” It really did taste good, and I told Gwen so. She flashed Lucas a radiant smile and propped her hands on her hips. They stared at each other and I felt like they were having a conversation with their eyes.

Hers said, “See. I’m good. Hire me.”

His said, “I’m not sure yet. I want to, but for some reason I’m hesitating.”

I wondered if he was reluctant because he thought I would go crazy as Candace had—start accusing them of having a fling or making scenes. It was obvious that Gwen was gorgeous. I knew it. Lucas knew it. And she knew it. But I wasn’t Candace. “You should hire her,” I said, trying to prove that she didn’t affect me.

Gwen leaned towards him and said, “You should,” with another sultry smile. My face immediately contorted, and I wondered if I actually
could
handle this. Everything about her bothered me. The way she looked at him and the way he looked at her.

Lucas brought his eyes to mine, rubbing his hand across his mouth. It felt like he was trying to make sure I was okay with it. Clearing my face of any repulsion, I gave him one of my less sultry smiles, and rubbed my foot down his calf, nodding slightly. I might not like her, but she was a good choice, and Lucas shouldn’t have to worry about my insecurities when hiring an employee.

“Alright,” he said. “I need you to sign some paperwork in my office.” Gwen clapped with glee and came out from behind the bar. “Just through that door,” he told her. Thinking that he wanted to give us a moment of privacy, I went to put a hand on his knee but he suddenly stood and walked off.

So that’s what that felt like. Pure disappointment and embarrassment.

While they were in his office, the television began playing another superhero movie. I huffed and sighed while watching it. After the first commercial break, I wondered what was taking them so long. It was just paperwork. Maybe he was giving her a tour. From experience I knew how secluded you could feel in those back rooms, and I felt my chest tighten as unwanted thoughts raced through my head. The phone ringing thankfully cut them off.

After it rang three more times, I decided to get up and answer it. “Burns,” I said.

“Marlowe?”

“Hey, Kate. What’s up?”

“I’m looking for Lucas. Is he around?”

“Yeah, he’s finishing up some paperwork with the new bartender.”

Kate scoffed. “He hired someone without talking to me? Typical. Well can you let him know that I’m going to be an hour late?”

“Sure. I’ll tell him right now.” Just as I was about to hang up, Kate said my name. “Yeah?”

“It’s a girl isn’t it?”

“Yes,” I curtly replied.

“She’s hot isn’t she?” she asked, sounding amused.

“Shut up,” I said and ended the call. Even though she was trying to get a rise out of me, now I had an excuse to go to the back and it wouldn’t seem like I was hovering or spying.

Taking a breath, I made my way to his office. At the door, I saw Lucas sitting in his rolling chair. Gwen was propped up on his desk, squeezing him into the corner, her leg nearly touching his hand. She was leaned towards him smiling, and it looked like he was starting to smile, too. When he saw me, Lucas jumped then let out a chuckle. “You scared the shit out of me, Marzy.” Thinking about it, I probably had looked like a creep watching them soundlessly from the hallway.

“Sorry,” I laughed, trying to make my weirdness seem unintentional, and took a step in. “Kate called. She said she’s going to be an hour late.”

Lucas sighed. “You mind waiting with me until she gets here?”

“Nope,” I grinned. “Need me to help with anything while you finish?”

“I’ll get it,” he said softly and it felt like he’d wanted to add
baby
to the end of his words, but stopped himself.

He made it to the door and turned around to Gwen. “Sign the rest and just leave it on my desk. I need to make sure everything’s good upfront.”

“Sure,” she smiled and watched him go with a look I didn’t appreciate. As she started signing, I went to follow Lucas, but then she said, “He’s single isn’t he?”

Why did she want to know? And I hated that she asked me that. What was I supposed to say? Sorta? Yes? Depends on how you look at it?

Not liking any of those choices I said, “Why don’t you ask him?”

“I did, and he was vague, trying to stay mysterious. But I can spot the single guys. And he’s one of them,” she grinned.

Oh, please. Like she was some kind of dude whisperer. “How can you spot them?” I asked, making it clear that I didn’t believe her.

“Trust me. Either he’s single or he wants to be.”

What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Did he make a pass at her? Jealously pooled in my stomach and I left the room. Lucas was cleaning off the countertops when I came into the bar, but Gwen strutted out before he even had time to notice me. “See you New Year’s Eve right?” she said.

“Yeah,” he grinned. “We should be packed so I’m glad we’ll have the extra help.”

“Looking forward to it,” she smiled. As she walked towards the door, she said, “Later Marzy,” without looking back at me, and I frowned at her departure.

After a moment, Lucas came to stand next to me. “Something bothering you?” he asked.

“Only you get to call me Marzy,” I said, still frowning at the door.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist. “You’re damn right. Next time I see her, I’ll tell her to cut it out,” he smiled. He sat in a bar stool and pulled me between his legs. I wanted to ask him about what Gwen had meant, but remembered Candace and how she’d acted. He’d only just hired her and I was ready to throw around accusations.

For the first time since we’d started this, I wanted to ask for commitment from him. Initially, I’d told him that I didn’t mind if he was with other girls. But I was past that now. It would bother me. Badly. Even if I didn’t have to see it. He’d told me that he was only with me. But what if he decided he wanted to be with other people? Nothing was stopping him. He could just do it, and I would be hurt, but there wasn’t much I could say about it.

His lips came to my neck and I closed my eyes, remembering what I’d overheard him say to Mia just a few days before.
Why would I want to mess it up by making her my girlfriend?
He didn’t want that from me. And if I asked for it and he rejected me, I’d be mortified.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered into my neck.

“It’s nothing.”

He gave me a squeeze and said, “Liar,” as his lips trailed up to my ear. “Tell me.”

I tried, but it was buried in my throat. To shut him and my thoughts up, I turned and brought my mouth to his—hoping my lips would successfully convince him where my words couldn’t.

A few days later on New Year’s Eve, all of my friends planned on going to Burns to celebrate. Lucas didn’t have a choice. Since Gwen was new, he and Kate were going to be working the holiday with her. He left so early, I didn’t even get to ride with him.

We weren’t departing until 8 p.m. but I knew that Lucas was there right now. With Gwen. Over the last few days neither one of us had mentioned her name. On my part, it was intentional. I didn’t want him to think that I gave her a second thought.

About an hour before we were leaving, I was on my bed, my feet dangling off the end. I was wearing jeans and a red, swoop-neck top. Everyone else would be dressed fancy, but for some reason I wasn’t in the mood, and had no intention of changing. When my phone started vibrating, I assumed it was Lacey or Nicole and answered without looking at the display. “Hello.”

“Hey,” Lucas said on the other end. Confused, I pulled the phone back and saw that he was calling me from the bar. “You’re still coming up here, right?”

“Yeah. Around 8. Is it busy?”

“It’s not too bad right now, but people are starting to file in. I’m back in my office.”

“You’re not going to be able to hang out with us much are you?”

“No,” he said, sounding sad. “But if you were a little more open to bartending we could be working together,” he finished with amusement.

“On a night like tonight?” I smiled. “I’d be a frazzled mess. Maybe even cry. Drunk people can be mean Lucas and I’m only part badass. There’s only so much of their slurred profanities that I’d be able to take.”

His laugh made my stomach tighten. “Not on my watch, babe. They’d be banned. You don’t slur curses at my… uh… at Marzy and get away with it.” A silence followed his last sentence. He was about to call me
his
something. But what, I wasn’t sure. I wish he would have just said it. “Listen,” he said, taking the focus off his near flub. “I need you to go over to my house and grab my spare bottle opener. Kate forgot hers.”