Stay With Me, Contemporary Romance (Last Frontier Lodge Novels Book 5) (18 page)

Eli hooked his hand around one of the bag handles and threw it over his shoulder. He followed Ryan into the living room just as their father entered through the front door.

Norm Brooks had aged in the decade since Eli had last seen him. His once dark hair was mostly gray, his eyes weary and tinged with only a hint of the rage that used to simmer there, and his skin was weathered. When Eli was young, he’d grown terrified of his father and then he’d shot up in adolescence and finally felt big enough to defend himself and his mother. That was when he became a more frequent target of his father. Looking across the room at his father now, he’d expected to feel that old anger, but he didn’t. He felt nothing but pity.

Ryan was right on his heels, and Eli felt the tension radiating from him. Another surprise was Eli had expected to be the target of his father’s anger, yet he wasn’t. He watched his father’s flat brown gaze land on Ryan, seething with anger. Awareness sliced through Eli. Norm’s targets were only those over whom he thought he might have power. Eli wasn’t in that position anymore. Eli stepped past Ryan and nodded to his father. “Hey Norm.”

Norm’s gaze swung to Eli, bouncing off of him and to the wall beyond his shoulder. “Hey.” An entire word comprised his greeting. Eli didn’t suppose he could hold that against his father seeing as he couldn’t manage much more than the two words he’d uttered. He forced himself to wait, sensing Ryan was about to bolt past him out the door.

Norm turned back to Ryan. “Well, you got what you wanted. Hope you’re happy about it.”

Ryan lifted his chin. “It’s good to be with Eli, but I’m not happy about any of this. I wish I could stay with Mom, but ever since you moved back, it’s been hell.”

Norm was quiet, that low-level fury simmering under the surface of his gaze. Eli’s guess was their father would either take off tonight and go for a bender at the bars, or take his anger out on their mother. He hoped for the former. There wasn’t much point in staying long and trying to make polite conversation. Eli turned to their mother. “We’ll go. We’re here until tomorrow afternoon, so if you want to have lunch or something tomorrow, let me know.”

Beverly nodded. Eli knew, down to his bones, she wouldn’t dare say she’d like that, although he knew she would love any chance to spend time with Ryan and perhaps even him. She’d pay a price if she said anything now, so she simply nodded. Ryan walked over to her and gave her a quick hug. Eli followed suit and they left, leaving silence and angry tension behind when the door clicked shut.

J
essa checked
her phone for the umpteenth time, hoping to see a text from Eli. Nothing. Since he’d left for his charter trip and onto Juneau after that, he’d fallen silent. She’d gotten accustomed to at least a text or two per day from him, so his complete lack of communication was bothering her. He wasn’t due back from Juneau until tomorrow, so she told herself she’d wait until then. It didn’t help that she was all stirred up inside. She grabbed her purse and left her suite. Marley had convinced her she should join her and Delia for a girls’ night out with their friend Ginger.

Shoving Eli to the back of her mind, no small feat, she jogged down the stairs to find Marley waiting at the main doors. Marley walked to meet her, hooking her hand through Jessa’s elbow. “Let’s go!”

A short drive later, Jessa followed Marley into Sally’s. Jessa scanned the restaurant as they entered. Sally’s was in an old renovated barn. As far as renovations went, the owners had kept it minimal. There was no question the restaurant was once a barn with the haylofts on either end still intact and balconies connecting them running along either side of the upstairs. The space had a polished rustic feel to it. A bar was situated in the center of the area and served as a divider of sorts with a closed in kitchen behind it. One side of the restaurant had tables and booths, while the other side had a small stage and scattered seating for watching music. Marley tugged her to the restaurant side and over to a booth where Delia was waiting with Ginger.

They slid in on opposite sides. Delia and Ginger smiled in unison with Ginger lifting a beer in greeting. “Hey ladies! We were just marveling that we beat both of you here.”

Marley shrugged. “Seeing as you’re almost always late, enjoy it while it lasts,” she said with a sly grin.

Ginger threw her head back with a laugh and took a swallow of her beer. Her gaze swung to Jessa. “So, how’s it going? You’ve been here over a month now. That must mean you’re staying,” she said bluntly.

Jessa knew Ginger to be Marley’s best friend and outspoken and blunt no matter the circumstances. Eli instantly flitted in her mind. It wasn’t that she’d make a decision to stay in Diamond Creek because of him, but she’d be lying to herself if she didn’t admit the idea of leaving him behind almost physically pained her. She batted those thoughts away and focused on Ginger. “I just might,” she said with a shrug.

Marley squealed. “I knew it! I told Gage the other day I thought you might stay. Risa told me how good your sales have been at the gallery, and she told me she’s already coordinating with her partners in Anchorage to show your stuff up there and in Juneau. There’s as much reason for you to stay here as there would be to go back to Seattle when it comes to work.”

There was a flurry of comments from Delia and Ginger before Marley interjected again. “Of course, there’s Eli too,” she said with a grin.

“Do tell!” Ginger declared.

Jessa felt the flush creep up her cheeks. “There’s not a whole lot to tell. We’ve, uh… Well, I guess we’ve been seeing each other. I’m not really sure where it’s going. If I decide to stay in Diamond Creek, it’ll be because of family and my artwork. Eli might be a bonus in all that, but…” Her words trailed off because she didn’t really know what else to say. She wished she had a clearer sense of what she and Eli were to each other.
Um, hello? You know exactly what he is to you. The most amazing man you’ve ever met who makes you feel like a dream and who’s an all around good guy. He’s everything you want and you know how much he means to you. Stop being a chicken about it.
She mentally shook herself and swatted her thoughts away.

Ginger nodded firmly. “So, he’s awesome and you’re afraid to say so. Totally get it. I only have one piece of advice for you.”

Jessa’s mouth fell open at Ginger’s mind-reading capabilities. “How…?” She paused and shook her head, not quite ready to admit Ginger zeroed in on the truth. “Okay, what’s your advice?”

“Don’t waste time not telling him how you feel. I did that with Cam and almost messed up big time because of it. You’ve got a lot more to lose if you don’t tell him how you feel. If you tell him and it doesn’t work out, at least you won’t wonder if it’s because you never said a damn thing.”

Jessa felt the eyes of all three women on her as she took in Ginger’s words. She glanced around and felt her cheeks get even hotter. “Is it that obvious?” she asked generally.

Delia smiled that warm smile of hers and slipped her arm over Jessa’s shoulders. “Maybe, but don’t worry about it.”

Marley and Ginger weren’t so subtle or gentle as they nodded in unison.

Jessa giggled. “Fine. I like Eli. A lot. Maybe more than a lot. I’ll work on your advice,” she said, pointing at Ginger.

As Ginger laughed, their waitress arrived. Conversation moved on through the evening. Later, when Jessa walked through the chilly night air in the lodge parking lot at Marley’s side, she smiled to herself. Tonight had been fun. She had a small circle of friends in Seattle, but she was usually so busy with her artwork and arranging shows, she rarely had time to spend with friends and it was much harder to coordinate everyone’s schedules. She’d already gotten accustomed to the impromptu gatherings at the lodge with Gage and Marley’s friends and would miss the tight-knit feeling of Diamond Creek dearly if she left.

After parting with Marley in the hallway, Jessa entered her suite and walked to the windows. The stars stretched in a glittering glory across the dark sky. She left the shades open, so she could look at the sky as she fell asleep. Eli visited her thoughts, as he did just about any moment she wasn’t actively focusing on something else. As she drifted into sleep, she made a decision. She would stop worrying about what Eli might be thinking and just tell him how she felt.

* * *

A
loud thump
had Eli turning to glance in the water beside him on the dock, only to take a face full of water when a harbor seal slipped off the dock nearby with a splash as it dove into the water. The thump must have been the seal as it wiggled across the dock. The seal in question had been napping in the sun on the narrow portion of the dock slip for the boat next to his when he arrived. Another much smaller splash rippled through the water when the seal rose back up, its’ round, curious eyes landing on Eli. He shook his head with a chuckle and dragged his arm across his face to wipe the water off. The seal dove back under water, undulating just below the surface as it swam away.

Eli had been on the docks for several hours doing a late summer cleaning for the boat. They had another month of more of charters booked, but as summer wore on, the boat tended to need a few more thorough cleanings to keep equipment organized and make sure they were stocked with supplies. He’d left Ryan and Cliff behind at the store. He tugged his phone out of his pocket as he climbed onto the boat to grab a towel. He’d been ignoring it while he cleaned, mostly so he could actually get something done. Jessa’s name flashed on the screen.

Hey! Stopped by to see you at the store, but Ryan and Cliff told me I’d find you at the harbor. Heading that way now. 

He checked the time on her message and realized she’d probably be here any second. With his hair still dripping ocean water, he looked around for a spare towel, another thing they needed to stock up on.

“Hey Eli!” Jessa called, just as he found the sole clean towel left by the steering wheel.

He quickly rubbed the towel over his face and hair and stepped out into the rear of the boat. Jessa stood on the dock beside the boat, looking so damn sexy and cute, his throat tightened. She wore an unbuttoned flannel shirt over a fitted tank top, which hugged her generous curves. This was atop of stretchy mini-skirt and a pair of purple leggings. He’d come to learn leggings and mini-skirts were practically a uniform for her. A pair of bright red rubber boots completed her ensemble. He’d never been one to notice clothing much, but somehow Jessa made him notice mostly because her clothing matched her personality—quirky, colorful, lighthearted and practical all at once. A gust of wind off the water blew her hair wild, a blonde-streaked lock catching in a dangly silver earring. She carefully caught it and started to untangle it while she looked over at him.

He’d been home from Juneau for a few days. While he’d been unable to resist seeing her once for dinner and couldn’t for the life of him stop texting her occasionally—because he enjoyed the light banter and missed it if it wasn’t happening—he’d managed to come up with excuses for being too busy to do much more right now. In all honesty, he was so damn busy this time of year, the excuses were legitimate, yet he could’ve found time if he wanted. With Ryan here, he had a little more flexibility with the extra help. Eli was trying and failing to get a handle on the way he felt about Jessa. He wanted
so
much with her, and he was flat terrified he might not be able to do this whole ‘relationship’ thing. Seeing his parents and remembering how damn awful their marriage was only reinforced his decade old promise never to test the possibilities of romance.

He realized he’d yet to speak as her eyes began to look slightly puzzled. With a mental shake, he stepped to the side of the boat and climbed over the railing onto the dock beside her. “Hey there. Just saw your text a few minutes ago.” He held up the towel in hand. “Got splashed by a seal,” he offered with a rueful chuckle.

Her silvery eyes met his, and his heart gave a hard kick. She finally untangled her hair from the earring and clasped her hands together in front of her. “I know you’re really busy, so I hope it’s okay I came by.”

“I’m always busy this time of year, but you can stop by whenever you like.”

Why the hell did you say that? Because I like her, I like her a lot. Maybe it’s more than like.
Good grief. He felt like he had three personalities arguing in his brain—his old, protective, bitter side that had learned the hard way what it could mean to love someone; an in-between side that was sort of open to admitting how much Jessa meant to him, but on the fence; and then his heart, which was out of practice with conversation and used to staying silent. His heart was the part of him that felt so raw and exposed with Jessa, yet the very part that recognized just what she might mean to him.

Oblivious to his internal state, Jessa smiled widely. “Whenever I like, huh? You might regret saying that.”

He managed a nod with a smile automatically forming because it was physically impossible not to smile when Jessa did—her effervescent joy was infectious. The next few minutes passed by as Jessa talked with him normally, like one would in their circumstances, discussed her latest progress on some gallery projects, how busy she’d been at the lodge restaurant and so on. Somewhere along the way, she became quiet, her gaze hesitant. He heard her take a deep breath and let it out quickly.

“Okay, I just need to say something,” she murmured under her breath as if she was talking to herself.

“Huh?” he asked.

She looked up, biting her lip as she did. A bolt of need shot through him. Her teeth dented her plump bottom lip, so charmingly he just wanted to kiss her.

“I promised myself I’d say something, so I will,” she announced, her voice stronger, although she looked nervous.

“Okay?”

“Here’s the thing. We’ve been, I don’t know, seeing each other for a bit now, but we never talk about what we are or what it means. I don’t know what you want, or what you’re hoping for, but…” she paused and took in a gulp of air before continuing “…I’ve never felt the way I do with you. I’m not sure what to call it, but I don’t want to keep floating along in this sort of vague thing. I wasn’t looking for anyone when I came up here, but you’re everything I could have asked for if I was. You’re nice, you’re smart and family is really important to you.” Her cheeks were flushed, and Eli wanted to step to her and wrap her in his arms, but he was frozen. She bit her lip again and grinned. “Plus, you’re handsome as hell and kissing you is the best thing. Ever,” she said firmly, her cheeks flushing a deeper shade of red.

She stopped speaking, her silvery-gray eyes on him as if she was waiting. For the life of him, he couldn’t seem to speak. Emotion was galloping through him, a mixture of joy, fear and intense longing. The fear, so familiar and so used to keeping his heart behind walls, held its ground. Silence hung over them, while Eli stood there. An errant drop of seawater rolled down from his hair into his ear. He swiped the towel over the side of his face and shook his head.

Jessa closed her eyes and took a slow breath before opening them again. “Well. I promised myself I’d let you know how I felt because I didn’t want to let something slip away, but I guess maybe I misread how you felt.” Her gaze, usually so open and warm, shuttered, and she started to turn away.

“Jessa, don’t…” he started to speak and froze when she turned back.

“Yes?” she asked, her eyes hopeful.

“I, uh…”
Seriously, man. You know how to talk, just do it. Say something!
“You startled me. I’m, uh, I’m not sure what to say right this second.”