Steeling My Haart (23 page)

        
It
took the entire day to transfer the mass of belongings Emma had brought from New
York. The kids’ rooms were transformed into two separate kiddie oases. Lou’s
newly discovered eye for detail made Adie’s room almost perfect. She would be
so happy when they finally moved in on her birthday. It had been difficult
because the birthday tomorrow coupled with Thanksgiving next week were the
first two milestone events since the children had lost their parents.

        
Although
there had been a lot of individual occasions where Adie had struggled to cope
with the absence of her mom and dad, she was becoming increasingly more
confident and asking about them less. Emma would never refuse to talk about
them and in a few years, when Adie and Leo were older and could understand
more, she would make them both memory boxes using the items she currently stored
in a closet in the corridor of their new home. Tomorrow was going to be as
happy as the family could make it for Adie. Undoubtedly there would be
difficult moments, but she had hoped with all they had planned there would be
more happiness than sadness. Moving into their new home would be one of the
final steps in that process for them all.

        
The
party and Thanksgiving went without a hitch and the family of three were soon established
and happy in their new home. Emma was settling well into the work and whole
life balance and the kids were thriving. Leo was growing at a tremendous speed
and would shortly be toddling about. His birthday fell just after Christmas. Before
Emma knew it, Bruce and Lou had gone back to New York and the end of the year
was fast approaching.

        
The
week after Thanksgiving shortly after they had moved in, Emma, Bruce and Lou
had taken Adie and Leo to the tree lot and bought their first Christmas tree.
She had then taken Adie for a special trip to the store to buy new decorations
to hang. The house was an explosion of Christmas ornaments and lights. Bruce
had enlisted Lou’s help in draping a selection of lights across the front of
the house and into the yard to complete the picture.
 
Even she had to admit, the house really
did look amazing when they had finished. All that was left was for Emma to go
and buy and wrap the presents for the children. She needed this to be perfect
because it would be the first of many Christmases the children would be
spending without their parents. She acknowledged the pressure she was putting
on herself was more for her own benefit than anything, but it had become so
important to make this festive period the best she could.

        
The
week before Christmas she had been out around lunchtime, leaving her
established office for a walk. She noticed a traditional toyshop at the end of
the main street. As soon as she entered, she decided this was the perfect place
to grab everything she needed for the big day.

        
Several
hundred dollars later and a huge stack of wooden toys and clothes set to one
side, her Christmas shopping was done.
 
The store-owner was also happy to store the gifts until Christmas Eve
that fell at the end of the week when Emma would be able to collect them. All
she had to do now was stop by the local market and place an order for the food
she needed for the day itself. She had decided to host the meal at her place.
Nicky and Mike agreed in an instant when she suggested it.

        
She
had insisted, though, that she would like to sort out the meal herself. She was
sure that she could prepare a roast turkey dinner for the five of them without
much of an issue, even with her basic cooking skills. It was important to her and
it was something she needed to do, even if it was only to prove the point to
everyone that she was up to the job of being a mom.

        
She
headed to the local market and placed an order for a turkey, and also took
advantage of the store’s pre-order facility, and ordered everything she needed
for the big day. For a small fee, she could pick up her order after work on
Christmas Eve. When she collected the two children that evening from daycare,
she was finally feeling positive about the upcoming holiday.

        
When
she got home, the phone was ringing and she caught it just before it switched off.
“Hello?” she answered.

        
“Oh,
Em, honey, its Mom. We’ve had to head out to see your Grams. She’s had a fall
and they say she’s not good. We should only be gone a couple of days honey, but
she needs us.”

        
“Oh,
goodness, Mom, I hope she’s okay. Please tell her I love her, and I’ll try to get
out to see her after this week. And don’t worry, I have everything sorted here
now so just make sure Grams is okay.” Things had been so hectic with the move home
that she had only managed to make a trip out to see her once since she had been
back. She wasn’t in a good way. Emma doubted she had realized who she was. She
hadn’t introduced her to the children, either, but the staff at the facility
where she lived had dissuaded her from bringing them under the circumstances.

        
“I’ll
send her your love, honey. We’ll be back by Friday, I promise,” she replied.
Emma knew they would do their best to get home because this Christmas would be
a milestone for them as a family. She hoped they would be back but she knew her
mom being there for her Grams was as important too.

        
“If
she needs you, don’t leave her. We’ll be fine. I have everything organized
here.” She was surprised at how well she hid the disappointment from her voice.
“Love you, Mom.”

        
“Love
you, too, honey, and your dad is saying he loves you, too. Bye for now.”

        
She
resigned herself to the fact that even though her Grams was little over half a
days’ drive away and it didn’t seem likely they’d be back in time.
 
Her Grams was important and it sounded
serious. She realized that it was now fact that she would be alone with the
kids this year after all.

        
The
rest of the week flew by and reports of bad weather were coming across the
radio as Emma headed into town to pick up the groceries. It was now mid-afternoon
on Christmas Eve, and her mom and dad hadn’t yet been able to set off for
home.
 
The weather advisories being
broadcast over the radio didn’t sound promising either. She now knew they
wouldn’t make it for the holiday. This area was renowned for harsh and sudden
ice storms and as she was still running her dad’s SUV, they would be struggling
to reach home in time. Her mom had called earlier to say they would stay overnight
and try to drive home on Christmas day once the storm had passed.

        
She
had taken one of Adie’s pre-k teachers up on her offer of some after-hours care
and had left both kids in the care of Miss Belmont, a student teacher who lived
a couple of blocks away from Emma. It meant that she could get the groceries
and gifts she had bought for them home.

        
She
went first to the grocery store that closed at four and had retrieved the order
she had placed without much drama. She then headed across town with roughly
twenty minutes to get to the toy store before they closed for the holidays. She
had plenty of time if the traffic continued to be light, but as she turned down
one of the less busy side streets, she heard a bang. The vehicle lurched to the
left. She slammed on the breaks pulling to a halt as quickly as was safe. She
swore as she stepped out of vehicle and noticed that she had two tires blown
out.

        
Emma
began to panic and reached into her purse for her cell phone to call for help.
She had a little over ten minute to get to the store for the gifts, and now
regretted leaving it so late in the day. She swore again as she realized that
her cell had no service. Even if she ran now she would still arrive over twenty
minutes after the shop closed. So she had no way of saving Christmas for the
two adorable children she should be responsible enough to care for. This was a
disaster. After five minutes of waiting on the solitary road, she realized it
was too quiet and no one was coming to her rescue. She couldn’t do anything but
lock the SUV and start walking back toward town. The further she got down the road,
the heavier the disappointment grew until it almost crushed her. She had let
those beautiful kids down.
 
Now she had
to try and salvage what she could from the disaster unfolding before her. When she
was about halfway to town, the heavens opened and she was frozen and soaked
through to the skin within minutes.

        
The
cold froze the tears and rain to her cheeks. Finally approaching the outer
limits of town, she heard the sound of an approaching motor. She was close
enough to civilization to risk flagging down the passing vehicle. She was
concerned at being out alone in the dark. Never mind the fact she was barely
visible in the dark road. As the sound came closer, the vehicle sounded like it
was slowing down. The beams from the headlamps flooded the road in front of her
and she heard the vehicle come to a stop behind her.

        
The
engine cut but the headlamps remained illuminated. She heard the door open then
close then a hesitant, yet all too familiar voice sounded out from behind her,
“Emma, is that you? What on earth are you doing all the way out here,
sweetheart?”

She froze then turned
to face Charlie. Without a second thought, she ran to him, almost collapsing at
his feet. He grabbed onto her and pulled her close to him. She immediately
closed her eyes, savoring the feeling of being in his arms once again. Then the
sobbing began, gently at first and then harder and harder and all Emma could do
was feel the strong arms that enveloped her, soothing her with just the simple
contact. Right then, despite Charlie not knowing it, his comforting presence
was the only think keeping her from completely falling apart.

        
“Shh,
sweetheart, it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay,” he soothed as he held her
close and rocked her. “Why are you out here all alone tonight?” He asked.

        
“Oh,
Charlie, it’s all gone wrong. I’ve ruined everything. Absolutely ruined it all
for the kids. Poor Adie, and little Leo.” She sniffed and ungracefully wiped
her soaking face with her sleeve. She started shivering as she carried on, “I’m
supposed to be there for them and it’s up to me to make sure that it all goes
okay this year. I’ve failed them both. I really have. I can’t do this on my own,
but they have no one else.”

        
Charlie
pulled her in close to his side and guided her to his warm truck. Opening the passenger
door he helped her inside and he grabbed his gym bag from the back. He opened
it and handed her a clean, soft towel and started to dry her off. As she came
down from her sobbing fit she realized she was sitting in his old truck. The familiar
smells brought back so many fond memories. He hopped into the driver’s seat and
cranked the engine, heat flooded through the vents, warming her instantly.

        
“Your
old truck?” she whispered in awe as she ran her hand over the dashboard and looked
up at a pair of familiar blue eyes.

“I restored her.
Couldn’t get rid of her. Too much history here in this old girl.” He flashed
her a crooked grin. She really couldn’t believe that after all the years that have
passed that she was sitting there, all wet and flushed from crying. He was
gorgeous and she had to use every ounce of restraint to stop from leaning over
and taking his soft mouth. Instead, she leaned in as he reached over and gently
wiped the drips of rain and tears on her cheek away with his thumbs. She
reveled in the searing heat from their tips. He cupped her cheeks as she rested
against his touch and closed her eyes, sighing deeply.

        
“What
has happened, sweetheart? Why are you so sad?” he whispered.

        
She
opened her eyes slowly and took in a breath. Where did she start? She had
nothing to lose and being back with him in his precious truck made her feel
safe enough to let it all go. She knew he couldn’t help, but he was there for
her right then and she needed it.

        
“My
best friend Lily and her husband were murdered a few months ago, and they left
me,” she laughed out sharply, “as legal guardian of the two kids, Adie and Leo.
The kids that you saw me with a few weeks ago in the store.”

Charlie visibly flinched at this
disclosure and closed his eyes and leaned his head back onto the headrest on
his seat as he blew out a breath. “Oh, Em, I didn’t realize…”

        
“Yes,
well, that’s only the half of it. I’ve now got two of the most amazing adopted
children and I’ve let them down. I was running late this afternoon and my
parents have gone out of town. Bruce, my business partner and his boyfriend,
Lou, have gone back to New York, and it’s just the kids and me. Well, my car is
miles down the road that way,” she jerked her thumb in the direction of the
broken down car, “and my guess is that’s now full of half melted and spoiled
food I’ve picked up from the market earlier for our supposed perfect ‘first
Christmas after the event’ meal I planned for them tomorrow. It’s their first
Christmas without their parents, and I couldn’t even get that right. I was
trying to take a shortcut to the toy store on main street downtown to collect
all the gifts I’ve bought for the kids I get a fucking blowout on both tires
and now the store is closed and now because I’m so fucking stupid the food is
probably ruined, too. Oh God, Charlie, it’s all a total disaster. The poor kids
have to go to bed soon and I know Santa isn’t going to come and they literally
have nothing to open tomorrow and it’s all my fault,” she blurted out. The
tears steadily flowed as she got the weight of it all off her chest.

        
“Come
here.” Charlie swiftly grabbed her and pulled her across the bench seat and to
his side. Emma just took the comfort he was offering and although she had a
million questions she wanted to ask, she gave into the security he offered and
relished in the fact she was finally in his arms again. The talking would have
to wait but for now she needed his help.

        
Visibly
steeling himself, he said, “Right, here is what is going to happen. You need to
get yourself and that load of food back home. I’ll take you back up and you can
drive my truck home. Go get yourself to those kids. Get them to bed. All I need
is you car keys and a lift into town and I will see to the tires. I’ll just
need you to drop me by the garage at the end of Main Street and I should get
your car back on the road in an hour or so. And I may just be able to help you
on the gift front, too. I don’t want you to worry about a thing, sweetheart, I’m
here and I’m going to help you.” He did a quick u-turn in the narrow road and
headed back to the disabled SUV.