STONED (Wrecked Book 1) (21 page)

Two hours and eight houses later, and I’m the proud new owner of a detached—who knew that was going to be such a fucking issue—four-bedroom house about three blocks from Willow. Farther than I wanted, but as close as I could get.

We are just walking out of the lawyer’s office when I get a text from my sister.

Scar: You can stop avoiding me. I know you guys broke up. I just want to talk.

Me: Sorry I didn’t tell you. Shit’s fucked up. I’ll call tonight.

Scar: You better xoxox

“Was that Lawson?” Judge asks, as he fires up the rental.

“No, Scarlet. She figured out that Wills and I broke up.” I hate that word. Hate saying it out loud. It makes it all too fucking real.

“So now what?” He steers the SUV onto Queen and back toward the hotel.

“Not sure. I’ll call her tonight and see if she wants to come hang here with me now that I have the house or if she wants to just stay in Austin where she can be alone.”

“Is she all right?” he asks, clearly concerned.

“I’m not sure. She says yes but Addy said something’s going on but that Scar doesn’t want to talk about it.” Popping a lolli, I say around the stick, “I can barely deal with my shit right now; she might want to stay in Austin.”

“Hasn’t she been in London for the last few years? Is she just visiting or what?”

“She’s been there the last three years, a nanny. And the way she’s talking, I think she’s back permanently. At least, that’s what I’m picking up on.” I shift in my seat to face him, “What’s going on with the knocked up model?”

He cringes. “Still knocked up. Swears it’s my kid and I told her I’d pay for all of her care, but I don’t want a paternity test ’til after the baby is born.”

“Why not? What if you pay all this money and it’s not your kid, Judge?” I ask him, confused. Judge is a meticulous, brilliant business man. This is unlike his ass.

“What the hell is it gonna cost, Stone? I mean, seriously.”

“True, but it’s fucking principle.”

“It’s dangerous for the baby. I’ve been doing some research.” He shrugs. “I’d rather wait. The money doesn’t matter to me. But hurting the baby just to get some answers now that I can get in a few months,” he shakes his head, “I’ll just wait.” Judge looks over at me. “Speaking of babies . . .”

Blowing out a long, heavy breath, I shake my head, “I’m trying not to push her, ya know? I mean, I know Lyric is mine, and I just want to hold her and love on her.” I smile ruefully. “But I can’t get Wills on board. I’m just going to keep on poppin’ up every fucking where she is. Something’s gotta give eventually.”

“And Joaquin?” Judge asks hesitantly.

“Fuck him. He knew who she was when he went after her. I’m coming at them both with everything I got and I’m not even a little sorry about it.” I dig my Zippo out of my pocket for something to do with my hands and start flicking it open and closed over and over. “He couldn’t be any more different from me if he tried. Does that make him better for her?” My question hangs in the air for a moment too long and suddenly I just want to snatch it back. Finally, Judge speaks.

“Not better, no. He seems like he cares for her, and she looked happy, but different isn’t better. Willow’s your safe spot; she doesn’t need someone just as safe. She needs that wild love you guys shared because it fires her up, makes her more alive.” Pulling into the valet line at the hotel he looks over at me. “She’s different now though, and I’m not sure how much of that is him, and how much is from what she went through with you.”

Open . . . click . . . closed . . . clack . . . open . . . click . . . closed . . . clack. “She’s Wills. I can’t quit her. I need her, bro. I need her, to be me.” With trembling hands, I slide the lighter back into my pocket and murmur to myself, “My rhythm.”

Willow

“YOU KNOW, YOU KEEP COMING
here every day and they’re going to like give you your own VIP booth or some shit.”

“They might.” I laugh, spooning more food into Lyric’s mouth, smiling when that dimple in her cheek pops. “I love it here. It’s quiet, it’s chill, and they have killer sweet treats,” I tell her, looking around Spun fondly.

“Can’t argue that. But you have to admit you’ve been here a ton lately. Why?” Perry is too smart.

Sighing loudly, I wipe a smear of banana off Lyric’s chin. “Stone doesn’t know to look for me here. He pops up randomly every damn place else. I just can’t deal with him right now. I’m hoping he gets tired of all the cat and mouse BS and just goes home to Austin.” The jar of food now empty I get up and toss it, using that time to think about how much I don’t want to talk to Perry about this. Plopping back in the chair I watch her watch me. “What, Per? Just ask whatever it is that you’re trying not to ask.”

“Do you want him to leave? I mean, you’re with JD, and he’s hot as hell. Gorgeous. Pretty near perfect, actually. But we’re talking about Stone fucking Lockhart, Willow.” She lowers her voice and glances around to make sure nobody is eavesdropping. “Stone. Lockhart. Lead singer of Wrecked. And you’re telling me that you want him to go away?” Her hazel eyes are big as saucers, free of makeup the freckles that cover so much of her stunning face stand out, red hair in a high pony, brushing her ears as she tilts her head and just stares at me like I’m absolutely insane. Maybe I am, but there’s so much she doesn’t know, wouldn’t understand, and I’m not ready to tell her.

“It’s complicated. I do know that at this moment I want him gone more than I want him here. Does that count?”

“I suppose it does. I just think you should take one giant step back and look at what I see,” she says, sipping her coffee.

“And what’s that?”

“I see you torn. You have this great guy, but then here’s the love of your life. And I truly believe Stone’s the love of your life. You don’t disappear and move to another country to get away from someone you can resist unless that person is a psycho who beats up on ladies, and I’m pretty sure that’s not your boy. I saw the two of you together before stuff got bad. I remember the first time I met you guys. I did a cover shoot for their album, and I thought, this is what relationship goals look like. The two of you oozed love and respect, and it was beautiful.” Perry leans forward. “You’re torn, and torn isn’t fair to any of you. Don’t do that to yourself or them.” She’s right, about all of it. But to hear it come from her puts so much truth to all of it. A huge weight on my shoulders that I’m being unfair to JD. That’s not what I want.

Stone was the love of my life, but a part of that love died sixteen months ago, and I’m not sure that’s a part of me that can ever be revived. And what about Joaquin? Stone’s right, he may not love me yet, but he cares about me and I care about him. I’m just not sure I’m capable of loving him, or anyone, the way I did Stone at one time, and I’m not sure that’s fair. More confused than ever, I look at my friend watching me with a sad expression, “What do I do, Per?” I ask as I pull Lyric from the highchair and snuggle her onto my lap. Needing her little self to anchor me.

“That I can’t answer for you, my friend. But talking to them might help.”

Perry’s right. I’m not ready to talk to Stone yet. But Joaquin, him I want to talk to. He had to leave early this morning to go to Quebec. Pulling out my phone, I shoot off a text to him.

Me: Dinner at my house tonight?

Joaquin: I’ll be there as soon as I’m done here.

Me: Perfect see you then xoxox

Joaquin: Bisous

“Which one was that?”

I sputter out a laugh. “You make me sound like a ho bag.”

“Definitely not a ho bag, though if I were in your shoes . . .” Perry trails off, trying to hide her mischievous smile behind her mug. “I’ll just live vicariously through you while I give my
vaggie patch
a vibing.”

“Oh my God, I die.” My laughter can’t be controlled, which makes Lyric giggle. Thankfully she can’t understand what the hell her Aunt Perry just said.

“I need to go to the grocery, wanna come?” I ask when I can finally breathe again.

“I would love to but I have to go home and get this shoot edited and to the magazine by tonight. I’ll come over if I get finished in time though.”

“Nope, JD is coming over for dinner.”

“Oooh la la,” she mocks in an exaggerated French accent.

“Shut up, twat. I’ll save you some leftovers.”

“Of Joaquin or dinner?” Eyelashes batting in innocence until once again we’re laughing uncontrollably.

“Thanks, Per. I needed that. I feel like I haven’t had a whole lot to laugh about in too long. You’re my tribe, woman.”

“And you’re mine, and never ever allowed to leave me. Seriously,” she deadpans and then grins. “Okay, I gotta go. Call me if you need me, and if you need to sample the goods to make a choice, I will take one for the team and watch homemade sex tapes if I must.”

Rolling my eyes, “Not a bad idea, pervy Perry. I’ll keep that in mind.” I stand to leave, Lyric on my hip, when my phone rings with a way too familiar number. How?

“Which one is that?” she jokes again. Ignoring her question, I pass Lyric to her, my face pinched.

“Stone? How did you get this number?” Perry leans in, pressing her ear to mine.

“Birdie, I spent over a year looking for your ass. I made sure I got your number,” he chuckles.

I shake Perry off as she yanks on my arm excitedly. This girl. “What do you want? You calling to say goodbye?”

“You ready to go back to Austin?” he volleys.

“You know my answer to that.”

“I do. That’s why I’m calling to invite you to a little housewarming party I’m throwing. Nothing big. Probably just dinner. Of course you’re welcome to stay as long as you like. You can help me . . . christen my new place like we did ours. I can dig out all the watermelon lollies if you want,” he drawls seductively. I hate myself for reacting to his gravelly voice, and the memory of what he’s done to me with those lollipops. “You remember, dontcha, Wills?” His voice is a low rumble. “I painted your pussy inside and out with that watermelon-flavored lollipop, making you taste even sweeter than you already do. And what did you do?” My breathing is ragged. I should tell him to shut up, but I can’t form words. “You came all over it,” he says huskily. “You remember what I did after that, huh, Birdie? I put it in my mouth and sucked all of you off that sucker before popping it into your pretty mouth so that you could taste too,” Stone groans, the sound making my nipples tighten and skin tingle. “I’ll never eat another watermelon lolli without tasting your pussy, Wills.” I hang up. Before he can say another word, I hang up.

I forgot that Perry had even been listening until she said, a little dazed and flustered, “Holy shit. Did you come? I think I just came.”

I sigh, flustered and dazed myself and take Lyric from her arms. “He has that effect on people.”

“Did he say he bought a house? Here?” Perry asks, clearly perplexed.

“Yep. And I wouldn’t be surprised if it was right next door to mine,” I mumble.

“Oh, sweetie. You are so fucked. He’s determined.”

“You have no idea.”

Just as I’m tucking a sleeping Lyric into her crib I hear the doorbell. With a last look at my daughter, I grab the monitor and tiptoe out of the room and then fly down the stairs.

“Sorry. I was just laying Lyric down—” I say in a rush only to have the words fall short.

“I’m sorry I missed that, Birdie,” Stone says, leaning casually against the door frame, hands in his pockets. “Mind if I come in?” he asks, flashing me a smile.

“No. You need to go.”

“Joaquin must be on his way over, huh? It’s okay, Wills. I promise not to cause any trouble,” he lies.

Frustrated with him for the third time today, I ask exasperated, “Why are you back, Stone? Why now? I have a man who doesn't cheat on me or go and get high and leave me in a strange city because he’s so coked up he forgot that I was at the hotel waiting for him,” I say bitterly.

“You're right, Wills. I have done that shit. All of it and I'm not proud of a single moment I spent fucked up when I was with you.” He runs his fingers roughly through his hair before puffing out a breath and asking, “Does he write you songs when he can't find the words to tell you how he feels? Does he write the lyrics on your skin so that you can feel them? Does he play the guitar or the piano for you when you can't sleep?” Bending at the knees he takes my chin in his hand and his eyes trace my face before landing on mine. “I fucked up, and I promise you, I'm done. I've been sober, completely clean, for almost a year, and I plan on staying that way for the rest of my life,” Stone says earnestly. “Not one pill or bump was worth losing you. Not my highest high made me feel the way you do. I was just too stupid to realize it. I know she’s mine, Birdie. I know she is. And I don't blame you a bit for keeping her from me, but that's all over now. I'm telling you right here, right now. I'm here, and I’m not going anywhere. I want my family.” The determination in his voice makes me nervous. Causes a pang in my already tender heart. This is Stone. He won’t quit. Before I have a chance to deny his claims, to tell him none of it matters anymore, a voice comes from the walkway.